Life had returned to normal for me for the most part. I would wake up later than I ought to, thanks to a certain annoying brother of mine. As a result, I would then rush to get dressed and head down to get to work. My daily chores consisted of sweeping the floors, beating out the rugs, and taking care of Giselle and Henry when Charlotte was unable to do so. I did not consider them to be difficult chores. It was much easier than cleaning out the stable or preparing the carriage, as Alexander sometimes did. I felt oddly content with life, aside from the fact that I could not see Jonathan as often as I wanted.
That morning I had been instructed to go feed the horses while Alexander prepared the carriage. When I asked Alexander or Mama where we were going, they would change the topic almost immediately. I found this quite unusual, because normally someone notified me if we were going somewhere. I had a feeling that wherever we were going, something horrible would happen.
I knew that my father would never knowingly lie to me, so I decided to try asking him. When I walked into the drawing room he was reclined on his chair, reading a book, due to the fact that the house was remarkably quiet for a change. I sat down on the armrest beside him and stayed there until he looked up. "May I help you, my dear?" he asked.
"Is there a reason why nobody wants me to know where we are going?" I asked him. "I have a feeling that it is because we are going to be visiting the Caldwell manor."
"I am afraid that you are correct," he said with a sigh, as he set his book down. "While you were gone, Mr. Caldwell made plans for a fishing derby. It is being held in about an hour and your brother wishes to take part," he explained.
I was certain that all of the colour had drained out of my face at that moment. This would be the first time I had encountered the Caldwell's since my return. Without a doubt, Matthew would still be bitter towards me. I cringed at the very thought of spending three whole hours being stared at by him. "Do we have to go?" I asked.
He nodded his head, "If you do not want to watch, I am sure that Mr. Caldwell would not mind if you explored the estate."
I gave in. "All right."
He kissed the top of my head. "You should go fix your hair and change into a better dress. We will be leaving as soon as I finish the last chapter of my book."
I nodded and trudged up into my room. I tried so hard to think positively, but it did not come naturally to me. I could not help but worry about the possibility of something going wrong. Yet, that did not mean that I was not allowed to try. Perhaps Matthew would be too busy fishing to notice me. Perhaps I could go inside the house and find a place to hide. Perhaps I would turn invisible and no one would even see me.
As I was searching through my wardrobe, looking for an appropriate dress to wear, I remembered that Jonathan would most likely be there as well. With that in mind, I suddenly began to hurry. I would tolerate the fishing derby, if only for his sake. I grabbed a light purple dress and began to change out of the dress I was wearing and into the clean one. Then, after that was done, I began to brush and style my hair. Under normal circumstances, I preferred my hair to be left hanging, but I knew that Mother would throw a fit if I did not style my hair for the occasion.
"Are you ready?" Father called from downstairs.
"Yes, Papa!" I exclaimed, rushing out of the room and down the stairs. "Do you have your cane?" I asked, my mind running through a mental checklist of things that we would need.
He held it up, to show me that he did have it, before using it to nudge me out of the house. "Unless you wish to be late, let us get going," he said, hurrying me into the carriage.
"I have known you for twenty-four years and we have rarely been late for anything, Father. Instead we usually end up arriving half an hour early," Alexander complained.
Father was known to be quite impatient. His greatest fear seemed to be that we would be late on occasions like this. To a certain extent, I could understand why he was so concerned with time. Punctuality was a must in English society. Eventually, he must have come to the conclusion that if we always arrived half an hour early we would never be late. It became annoying at times, but that was simply the way he was.
As we pulled out, I began to think about Louise. I had not left on the best terms with her, and I was worried to a certain extent. Normally she forgot these things with time, but when she did not, she was known to start vicious rumours about people. Having rumours floating about was the last thing I needed right now.
I had actually heard that she was now officially engaged to James Caldwell. I did not know the exact details, but according to what I had heard from my mother, James had proposed to her only two weeks after I had left. The thought of her being the sister-in-law to Matthew only further convinced me to stay away from her. However, I knew that I could not avoid her forever. If she had forgotten about what happened, chances are that she would be gloating about how wonderful her new fiance was.
It filled me with dread to think about how their marriage would fare. Louise was easily distracted by handsome men, and in all honesty, I could imagine her being unfaithful to James. She had nearly forgotten about him when she had met Mr. Johnson. Luckily, she had snapped out of it when he left. For once in my life, I actually found myself feeling a bit sorry for James.
"Prepare yourself," Alexander teased. "We are nearly there."
I rolled my eyes. "I have eyes as well, Alexander." I felt a lump form in my throat as we pulled up to the Caldwell manor. I could not help but wonder what misfortunes I would be put through today. The last time that I had been here, Matthew had proposed to me. I doubted that would happen again, for Matthew's feelings towards me had surely changed since then, but still. I could not shake the feeling that trouble was approaching.
Climbing out of the carriage, I began to look around. There was already a large crowd of people assembled across the entire estate. I could spot all of the Gilmore's except Jonathan, which disappointed me greatly, but I was quite pleased to note that Matthew was missing as well. Although, that probably meant that the two friends were off somewhere else.
"Helene!" someone called out to me all of a sudden. To my surprise, it was none other than Louise. "I am so glad that you are back!"
"It is nice to see that I was missed," I greeted her with a smile.
"Of course I missed you. I had no one to talk to while you were gone," she replied.
"Did you not have James to talk to? I heard that he finally proposed to you."
Nodding her head, she squealed with delight as she held out her hand to show me her fancy engagement ring. I had to admit that the sight of it was rather impressive, but I doubted that it would hold any sentimental value to her. It was nothing more than a shiny piece of jewelry to her. I highly doubted that it reminded her of her love for James, if there even was any inside her shallow heart.
"The wedding is to be held in the summer; although an official date has not yet been chosen," she explained.
"I wish you two all the best."
"Now I just need to find you a husband," she teased.
I sighed, "Have you not given up on that?"
She shook her head. "Are you sure that you are not interested in Matthew Caldwell? You would inherit this entire estate after the passing of the reverend."
"I could not care less about wealth. You really must accept that I am not the least bit interested in him."
She opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by Mr. Caldwell as he called for everyone to follow him down to the fishing pond. Before I could blink an eye, Louise had rushed off after James. With an irritated sigh, I began to make my way down to the pond, where I soon found my father standing under a shady tree, talking to Mr. Abbott and Mr. Caldwell.
"Miss Hoffman, it is a pleasure to see you again," Mr. Abbott greeted me. "How was your time in London?"
"It was quite refreshing. I have never seen a place quite as large," I replied.
"I fear that this must be a nightmare compared to your time there," Mr. Caldwell said. "As I recall, you are not particularly fond of fishing."
"I am afraid that I am not interested in many outdoor activities, aside from walking that is."
"Well then, if that is the case, please feel free to walk about the estate. I am sure that you will find something interesting along the way."
"You are too kind," I thanked him with a smile, before making my way across the grounds and into the forest. The trails were without a doubt meant for riding, but I doubted that anyone would be out riding at a time like this. Everyone was far too engrossed in fishing to do anything else. The mere thought of handling a slimy, disgusting fish was completely revolting to me. It sent a shiver up my spine. I never had understood why people enjoyed it so much. Fortunately, my father was not terribly fond of it either. Unfortunately, my brother was.
As I was walking along, someone suddenly grabbed hold of my hand. I stopped dead in my tracks and swung my head around to see Jonathan standing right behind me, a slight smile on his face. "Has Little Red Riding Hood lost her way?" he asked.
I giggled and shook my head. "Mr. Caldwell gave me permission to explore a bit," I explained with a smile. "I thought that I would try to find something interesting out here."
"I fear that there is not much that would interest you here, besides the walking trails. Normally when I am with Matthew, I go for a horse-back ride, but seeing that you do not like riding..."
"The problem is not that I dislike riding," I corrected him. "The problem is that I have never actually ridden a horse."
"You have never ridden a horse?" he asked, his eyes wide with disbelief.
I explained to him that my father had never taught me, believing that his leg prevented him from doing so. Jonathan kindly offered to teach me himself, an offer which I eagerly accepted. He told me that he would inform his sister of this, and ask that I be allowed to skip a few lessons to allow us the opportunity to have our own lessons. Considering the fact that she always claimed I was quite a bit more advanced than the rest of her students, I did not think that she would refuse to do this for us. Besides, she was the one who wanted me to get to know him.
We did not speak as we walked along the forest trails, but somehow just being close to him made me feel at peace. When I was with him, I seemed to forget all about the burden of my painful memories. They still remained, but became more bearable, which was a blessing to me because I had once thought that the pain would never decrease. I had thought that I would be forced to live with those memories for the rest of my life.
After a while, we came to a stop under an enormous tree. It was a spectacular sight. From one of its thick branches, there hung a wooden swing, and halfway up the tree there was a landing, which held some book and a few toys. I immediately recognized one of them as Matthew's slingshot from the day of my arrival. For some reason, even that memory did not make me uncomfortable.
"I did not think that it was still here," Jonathan remarked, staring up at it.
It certainly looked like it would have been fun for a child. Giselle surely would have loved to play here, for she was quite fond of climbing trees, much to the dismay of her mother. "I can assume that you and Matthew used to play here as children?"
He nodded. "I fell once and broke my arm, but it was still fun to climb up onto its branches."
"I suppose that your mother did not let you climb trees after that."
He laughed. "You know me too well."
I joined in on the laughter. "I find it hard to believe that I once hated you."
"And I find it hard to believe that I managed to fall for such a beautiful and intelligent woman."
I blushed deep red. "I honestly do not think I merit such compliments."
He inched closer, getting ready to kiss me again. "You have no idea just how beautiful you are."
And with that, he pressed his warm lips against mine. I could not help but blush when he kissed me. I truly was not used to it; however, I hoped that I would have many opportunities to become accustomed. It was one of the most pleasant things that I had ever experienced. Eventually, we broke apart and stood there, looking into each other's eyes for a while.
The more that I looked at him, the more that I had to thank God for bringing him into my life. I was incredibly lucky to be standing there with him. There were probably dozens of women who would love to be in my shoes. To be honest, I was worried about what would happen if they ever found out. Surely, there would be quite a few women who would be jealous. We would both have an angry mob of women chasing after us.
Just then, I saw someone hiding behind a tree nearby. My eyes widened in shock as I caught a glance of the person's face. It was the man whom I had rejected and left heartbroken all of those months ago. The world came crashing down in front of me. All of the secrets that we had tried to keep from him were now evident. I knew in an instant that this was the terrible misfortune that I had feared.
"What is wrong?" Jonathan asked, turning to see what I was looking at. He caught on just as Matthew went racing off. He started to go after him, but stopped short and glanced back at me.
"You should go after him," I told him.
"I will see you soon," he promised, as he took off into the woods.
Tears began to stream down my face when I heard Matthew yelling from a distance. I could tell that Jonathan was trying his best to explain everything, but Matthew was not giving him the chance. He was clearly too upset to listen to anyone, which was unfortunate. Although, I was thankful that he had run off instead of doing something reckless.
I glanced at the enormous tree in front of me and felt guilty. I felt that this was my fault. I was the one who had asked Jonathan to keep everything a secret after all. I could not bear to think that he might lose his closest friend because of me, but I felt powerless. There was nothing that I could do to fix this. I felt like giving up.
That was when an idea suddenly came to mind. There was one way that I could help. However, I felt that I should let Matthew calm down for a few days before attempting it. My only hope was that it would help in some way instead of making things worse.