December 1995
Deok Sun woke up at the sound of bell and checked her clock. God, how long has she been sleeping? She got up immediately and felt a sharp pain in her head. This damn jet lag.
She's been assigned on the flights to London for a month now and the jet lag was terrible. She had trouble sleeping and massive headache every other days.
The bell rang once again. She walked to the door while massaging her head. Taek stood in front of her door when she opened it, frowning.
"Sorry, I was asleep," Deok Sun smiled weakly. She kept massaging her head and walked to the kitchen. She made herself some tea while Taek sat on the couch, watching her.
"You have a headache?" he asked.
"Yes, because of the jet lag," she answered.
"Take some painkiller," he told her. Deok Sun scoffed. She wouldn't go anywhere near painkiller except when she had no other choice. She could get addicted like Taek did.
"I'm not you," she said, rolling her eyes. Taek frowned again.
Deok Sun took her tea and sat beside him. She turned on the television. Speed was airing and she decided to watch it.
"Did you eat?" Taek asked.
"No, I just woke up," she answered.
"Do you want to eat something?" Taek stood up and check her refrigerator.
"There's nothing there," she told him.
"Do you want me to buy you some food?" Taek asked.
"Sure," Deok Sun nodded her head without even turning her head, still admiring Keanu Reeves on the screen.
"What do you want to eat?"
"Anything's fine. Just buy something close," she wasn't too hungry anyway.
"Or do you want to eat outside?" he asked again.
"But I want to watch this," Deok Sun finally looked at him, pouting. Taek laughed and nodded.
"Okay, I'll buy you something," Taek walked to the door right away.
"Taek-ah, just buy jajangmyun downstair," she told him. That jajangmyun restaurant downstair was her favourite, too bad they didn't deliver. Deok Sun always told Taek to buy it for her if she felt too lazy to go.
"I got it," Taek answered before he got out. Deok Sun realized he didn't put on his coat and she just shrugged her shoulder. It was just downstair, he wouldn't be too cold.
She's been dating Taek for a year now, her longest relationship yet. Nothing really changed since before they started dating and at this point, she didn't know if it was a good thing or the opposite.
Taek was comfortable. He accepted everything and she didn't have to pretend to be something she wasn't. It just wasn't as exciting as she thought a relationship should be, like relationships she read in novels or watched in films. Sometime she envied them. Meeting new guys, getting all excited on their first date, worrying about their second date. She never really experienced that.
She could guess everything with Taek. Nothing ever really surprised her. She knew he loved her and never doubted him for a second. She knew it was something to be happy about. Her friends always scolded her when she whined about it.
Yah, be grateful that he loves you that much. I would do anything to meet a boyfriend like yours.
Is it something to be envy about, though? She sighed, annoyed at herself for even thinking that way. She focused on Keanu Reeves again, trying to shake out those thoughts.
She just finished her tea when Taek came back. They ate the jajangmyun in front of the television. It was the first time Taek watching Speed and she had to explain the story for him. Taek didn't know who Sandra Bullock was, let alone Keanu Reeves. Well, it wasn't like she expected him to know, but it would be nice if Taek understand what she was talking about for once.
"How long do you stay in Seoul this time?" Taek asked her when they finished watching the film.
"A week, but tomorrow and Sunday I'm going to Sacheon, remember?" she reminded him and he looked blank. She sighed and told him again, "My friends' wedding?"
"Ah yes, sorry," Taek laughed. "I told you I can't come, right?"
"Yes you did," she scoffed and shrugged her shoulder. "I could ask Jung Pal to come with me."
"He might be busy," Taek expression changed a little. She noticed that but didn't say anything about it.
"I'll call him before I go."
She took the dirty plates and got up to wash them, felt like a fool for mentioning Jung Hwan so nonchalantly. What did she expect Taek's reaction would be anyway? She wasn't even sure Taek knew about what happened between her and Jung Hwan. They never talked about it.
In fact, she never talked about it with anyone, except Ja Hyun and Mi Ok back in high school. Dong Ryong and Sun Woo still thought his confession last year was a joke and no one else in their neighborhood knew about them.
It was like a secret between the two of them and she never dared to acknowledge it, especially after she started dating Taek. She never answered his confession and they tried to treat each other as they always did. Although he did hold back and didn't talk that much to her anymore.
"Let's call him then. I haven't talked to him for a while," Taek suddenly said to her.
She didn't want to call Jung Hwan when Taek was around. It was like sprinkling salt over his wound. She wasn't that cold-hearted.
"Where's your phonebook?" he asked.
"Taek-ah, it's late. I'll call him tomorrow," she tried to change his mind.
"It's in your nightstand, right?" he ignored her and walked to her room to get the phonebook.
"Taek-ah..." she followed him to her room and her heart almost stopped when she saw Taek was holding a small red box. She ran to stop him from opening it but he was faster.
He looked at the gold ring inside the box, didn't say anything for a while. Deok Sun frantically tried to think about an excuse to give to him and found none.
"What is this?" he finally asked.
"It's..." Deok Sun considered lying for a second but thought it would be worse if she did. "It's a graduation ring."
"It's not your graduation ring, right?" he asked again.
"No, it's Jung Hwan's," she didn't dare to look at him when she answered. "He gave it to me."
"When?" he asked.
"Last year."
"When exactly?"
"Before we started dating."
She finally looked at him and she couldn't read his expression. He looked sad and angry at the same time. She didn't know which one was worse.
"Why did he give it to you?" he asked, again, looked like he was about to cry. "What did he say at that time?"
How could she repeat it to him? He talked about their whole story. Taek didn't even know they go way back to 1988, even before Taek kissed her that one night. Taek understood when he saw her expression. He took a deep breath to calm himself down.
"Did you feel anything when he said it?" he asked.
She was happy when he did and got disappointed when he shrugged it off as a joke. He pretended nothing ever happened the next time they met and that was when she realized he confessed to say goodbye to her. She remembered she cried herself to sleep that night.
"You won't tell me?" he asked again when she didn't say anything.
"Taek-ah, it was a year ago. It didn't matter now," Deok Sun tried to calm him down.
"It mattered to me!" he almost shouted and it was the first time he raised his voice to her. Deok Sun was surprised, didn't know what to say.
"Taek-ah..."
He stormed out of her room, grabbed his coat and walked out of her apartment. She didn't even bother to wear shoes when she went after him.
"Taek-ah!"
Taek went into the lift before she got there. She groaned and punched the lift button a couple of time. It took another five minutes before the other lift arrived. Taek was nowhere to be found when she got into the lobby.
She only wore light sweater and she froze instantly when she tried to look for him outside. She finally decided to get back upstair and called Sun Woo's apartment. He would be the first person Taek would talk to. The line was busy. Shit. Taek must've called him.
What should she do? She tried calling Sun Woo again. The line was still busy.
She walked back and forth in her living room, trying to figure out what to do. Why did she keep the ring? She even went back to the restaurant to get it the next day when she realized she left it there. She knew the answer even without thinking. Because it was Jung Hwan's. Because he was her friend and she couldn't bear to leave it like it was nothing. Because he fucking loved her for six years and she didn't even realize it.
She sighed, who was she kidding with? She did know. She even loved him back, at some point. She would even date him instead if he didn't take so long to confess to her, honestly.
She sighed, her head was throbbing again. She lied down on the sofa, massaging her head, trying to calm down her mind. She couldn't stop worrying though and she tried to call Sun Woo one last time. She finally got through.
"Sun Woo-yah. It's Deok Sun."
"Taek's coming here. I'll calm him down. Talk to him tomorrow, okay?" Sun Woo told her right away.
"I'm going to Sacheon early in the morning," she answered.
"Yah, you're going to see Jung Pal in this situation?" he asked, shocked.
"I'm going to a friend's wedding, okay? Not to see Jung Pal," she told him, annoyed.
"I can't believe his confession was real. Why didn't you say anything?" Sun Woo asked her again. Deok Sun sighed and rolled her eyes.
"Would you be able to say anything if you were me?"
Sun Woo scoffed and said, "You're right."
"Anyway, it was a year ago and I'm dating Taek now. Why did it bother him so much?"
"I don't know. I'll talk to him," Sun Woo sighed too.
"I got it. Let me know what happen, okay? I'll call you before I leave."
She thanked Sun Woo before she hung up the phone. She walked to her room and lied down, massaging her head again. She was really tired but she couldn't sleep. She closed her eyes and tried hard to empty her mind.
She didn't fall asleep until hours later.