Stay.
The word almost felt foreign leaving Ajax's mouth but she meant it. She meant it with every part of her being and by the look on her face, the softness, Peter knew she did, too. Ajax's was always harsh, always etched in some type of worry unless she was sleeping but now, now her face is so soft and smooth and she's not worried for the first time that Peter had known her. The one time maybe she should be worried and she's not.
"P, if you have to go because May needs you home,-"
Peter cuts Ajax off by moving back to her and colliding his lips with hers, far less hesitance this time. Peter's arm wraps around Ajax as she tugs him back to her bed, the two of them falling backward and soft laughs escaping their lips when they hit her mattress.
"Okay sshh, Tony will hear." Ajax whispers before she moves to Peter's lips again, Peter leaning over her with one arm holding him up on the side of her and the other hand on her hip.
Peter pulls away for a second. "I-if...what happens if Mr. Stark comes in?"
Ajax rolls her eyes. "We're not doing anything."
Ajax cups Peter's face and brings his mouth back to hers. Peter shaking off as much anxiety as he can. He enjoyed kissing Ajax but it was in the back of his mind that Tony walking in on them laying down in the dark making out would probably not look too good on his part. With that said, Peter didn't bother to try and stop.
There was something that told him to just keep going. He wanted to more than anything. Hell, he couldn't even remember when he actually came up for a proper breathe, he didn't know if even did at all. His head was lost in the lust in the movement of her mouth against his and her soft tugs on the hair on the back of his neck.
He was lost in the moment and there was so much there. So many unsaid words that needed to be figured out and there was something in the pit of his stomach that told him that's why Ajax asked him to stay, that's why she pulled him for a second kiss. That's why the kissing is getting sloppy and neither of them can breathe properly. And yet, despite knowing maybe Peter should stop and ask what's really going on, he can't pry himself away from her. She's a drug and he can't let her go and go through withdrawal so soon. It's not up to him anymore, maybe it never was.
At the end of the day, it would come down to if Ajax wanted him. And not just wanted him in that moment but wanted him for longer than a week or two. Peter wanted her and the ball was now thrown in her court. Did Ajax simply have a bad day meeting with Harry so she's using Peter to make herself feel better or was Harry her push she needed to really get in with Peter? He wasn't too sure but Peter's an optimist. Sometimes his optimism is annoying and downright dangerous, but it's better than him thinking the worst. And all he wanted was Ajax.
The lights turned on the teens quickly scrambled, falling off of the bed as Tony stood in the doorway, glaring at them with arms crossed.
"Hey, Tony." Ajax holds out her words, guilt across her entire face with her red tinted cheeks.
"Uh...h-hi Mr...Mr. Stark." Peter stutters, his face redder than Ajax's.
"Living room. Now." Tony says as he watches them move to their feet. "Parker, May know you're here?"
"Y-yeah, yeah, yeah." Peter says quickly, nodding his head as he follows Ajax to the door. "I told her."
Tony sighs as the three head to the closest living room. "Jax, when I said he could come over I didn't mean you two could let loose of your hormones." Tony says, Ajax plopping down on the couch, Peter sitting a good distance away from her.
"Just making out, Stork. I know you've done plenty worse and at a younger age than either of us." Ajax defends. "And besides," Ajax sticks out her bottom lip. "It's Christmas in about three hours and I have no friends besides you guys and Spider-Boy."
"Don't guilt trip me with a holiday, Antifreeze." Tony scolds, arms still crossed.
"Mr. Stark, I'm so sorry. It won't happen again. I swe-"
Tony raises a hand, cutting Peter off. "I know it won't mostly because you look like you're about to throw up." Ajax chuckles at Tony's response, his face softening. "Alright, alright. Birds and bees talk on Tuesday."
Ajax and Peter look to each and then back to Tony. "NO!"
"Oh no," Tony shakes his head. "If you're going to take advantage of the small bit of freedom I give you here, I'm taking advantage of my role. I'll be calling May and we're going to sit the two of you down."
Peter and Ajax groan, burying their faces in their hands. "Now that I've successfully embarrassed the both of you, you're free to take this room but remember, I have FRIDAY." Tony warns, but he's clearly holding back a satisfied smirk, most likely due to Ajax seeming to have let Peter in, to be finally making more progress rather than the regression he feared.
"Tony, I promise, just making out." Ajax affirms, her voice stern.
"Got it." Tony nods. "Just, stay out here and turn a movie on or something. Parker, you can stay and I'll let May know you're here for the night and I'll have you up early for her, assuming she does want you home for the holiday." The two teens remain silent with Tony's words as he starts laughing. "Just, be careful and figure your shit out first if you haven't yet." Tony looks to Ajax with raised brows and pursed lips. "Don't rush, alright? I'll be in the lab." Tony walks off leaving to two to themselves.
"That was horrible." Peter mumbles, head still in his hands.
"It could have been worse Ya know, he's not really mad." Ajax giggles before standing up. "He just thinks he's funny when he does it. If he were mad, you would be outside right now."
"It's embarrassing." Peter mumbles, looking up to her.
"Yeah, but now it's over with so you won't have to worry. Now come on, we're gonna get some blankets and then, uh, I'm gonna do what Tony said." Ajax extends her hand and Peter takes it with a cornered smile.
Ajax leads Peter back to her room and gestures to the closet, having him reach up and grab a few blankets while she grabs the pillows from her bed. They move in comfortable silence, grabbing everything and moving back to the living room. Peter lays out a blanket and rests pillows on either arm of the couch, Ajax watching him carefully. He's in a pair of blue sweatpants, a black hoodie with the E.T. logo across the front. He's so comfortable and soft. His hair is a mess but when he turns around to face Ajax, his eyes are bright, maybe looking a little bit lovestruck while he holds a lopsided smile. All the things Ajax has done to protect him and they still end up where they left off. It just happens to be at the tower and more than holding hands. The universe is weird like that.
"Uh...AJ, c-can I ask something?" Peter says, the softness of his face turning to confusion.
"Go for it." Ajax says moving to the couch and taking her seat.
"So, uh, w-where does this leave us? It's okay if you don't know," Peter starts his usual rambling but Ajax just lets him talk. "Really, I don't expect you to jump into a-anything but if you wanted to that's fine, totally fine and great. I'm okay with it if you are but I don't want you pressured. It's up to you but I just...I just want to know, ya know? Like Mr. Stark said, we should figure it out..." Peter takes a deep breath before continuing. "But I don't want you leaving me out to dry next week either." Peter's voice drops with the words of honesty, him finally finishing.
Ajax nods, understanding that he has every right to fear for her to just push him away next week. For once, she's not mad, she's not hurt. The only thing she feels is guilt because she hurt him. It's what she thought she had to do at the time and yeah, maybe it was still the right decision but that doesn't change that she hurt him.
"Sit, Spider-Boy." Ajax pats the couch. "How 'bout I explain everything to you?" Ajax offers, taking a deep breath while her hands grow clammy.
"E-everything?" Peter asks, him still standing and looking down at her.
"Yeah," Ajax nods once, her voice unsure but her mind made up. This was it. No more secrets. "Everything and you can ask whatever questions come into your head and I'll stay up all damn night answering them."
Peter's brows knit together, processing the situation. "A-are you sure? You don't have to. You said-"
"Peter, sit down and I'm gonna turn on E.T." Ajax grins, glancing to the logo and then back to his eyes. "And I'm gonna talk more than you've ever heard me talk before."
Peter nods and takes a seat on the other end of the couch. Ajax leans her back against one arm of the couch as Peter does against the other while she uses the panel to turn on the film. Peter pulls one of the blankets over them, his heart starting to thud against his ribcage in at a frantic pace, unsure of what Ajax was going to say. He was ready to hear it but it scared the hell out of him.
"So, from the beginning and it's gonna be long but just hear me out okay?" Peter nods and his full attention is on Ajax. "Alright, when I was ten, I was kidnapped, right? I know, I know, insane considering where I live now. But hear me out we had this rule, my family because I'm sure as you know, superhero and being anything with them is dangerous. Yeah, well we had a rule. Someone I know would pick me up from school if something happened and if no one showed, suck it up and stay at school until someone came. That was the rule but I didn't listen once because they said it was my dad and I freaked out and yeah I have powers but I was told never use them if I didn't have to and before I know it, a cloth is covering my mouth and I'm out cold. I woke up tied to a weird chair and in a ton of pain."
Peter's eyes darted with Ajax's words. "They didn't-"
"No! No, no, no, no." Ajax shook her head quickly. "They didn't even hit me, at least not while I was awake."
"Okay, okay go on." Peter nods, pulling his legs in to sit cross-legged.
"Basically, my dad had some bad blood as heroes do and I don't know, I was ten and Tony wasn't much help in telling me anything and neither was my mom and the guys are dead, ya know? So whatever but anyway, I guess they knew who my dad was despite him hiding his identity and such. Figured out he had a family. If you want to hurt someone, you hurt someone they love. Remember that, it's important to my next explanation." Peter nods again.
"Okay so they kidnap me knowing my dad has some tracker on me but here's the thing, they wanted to see if they could reverse powers and take them. Ya know, if you're born with them, is it possible? They really wanted to find out. Well, they fucked something up and injected me with something that caused the pain and ever since then, I can feel people's emotions. It's fucking annoying but they didn't get anything from my powers from it which is nice but ya know." Ajax takes a breath, her word rambling from her mouth so fast, Peter is having a hard time keeping up.
"Anyway, fast forward and my dad and Tony show up to save my dumb ten-year-old ass. Dad goes to get me but one of the dudes got me first. He starts threatening me so my dad tries to talk him down before ya know, using a gust of wind against him because that's the safest route for me, right? Yeah, no. Dude doesn't care. If this didn't go as planned, he knew it was a suicide mission and so did the other guys so he takes this damn knife he had to my throat and cuts my side. I don't know, it never healed. That's the scar my side. Tony says it was a type of really rare metal or something, like the shield ya know? How these crooks had it is beyond me but whatever, it never healed and I bled and I need to get on with it."
"Moving on," Ajax takes another sharp breath as a lump starts to form in her throat and her eyes start to burn with tears. "Tony hears me scream and my dad gets so pissed because hey I'm his kid, ya know? He tells me 'elephant'. He had a thing for them, I don't know." Ajax huffs. "That was the word he chose for me if I needed to use my powers so I did. I saw that wind gusts weren't gonna do anything so I used fire, burned the guy and that's when Tony came out of nowhere, flying in and grabbing me. My dad demanded he gets me out of there. Maybe it's another subconscious thing but I don't remember much after. My brain's way of preventing the trauma but I know they argued for a second before Tony was flying me off and then there was just this explosion when we got far away and..."
Ajax takes in a shaky breath. "Guess they had a bomb or something set to explode. As I said, they knew it was a suicide mission if it didn't work. If they couldn't use me to get my powers, they knew they could kill my dad and they did."
Peter's mouth goes dry as he hears the story. It's unbelievable. Everyone has a backstory. It's something Peter has learned but Ajax's backstory was fifty shades of twisted. From kidnapped to "experimented" on to injured. And then her dad. All in one go. Peter suddenly understands exactly why Ajax pushes people away. He gets it because maybe if he witnessed his parents deaths, if any of that would have happened to him, he would push people away, too.
It's just not fair. She doesn't deserve it and to have a scar as a daily reminder, Peter just can't wrap his mind around it. For a few seconds, he questioned Ajax's strength because all she does is push everyone away and lie. That's not strength, that's cowardly but now, now Peter understands and she's stronger than he is. She is strong. She pushes people away to protect them from her not protect herself from them. She deals with the weight of her dad's death every day and she's still breathing, barely holding on sometimes, but breathing.
"I-I'm sorry, AJ." Peter says, unsure of what else to say.
"It's okay." She says, looking to the soft grey blanket they're sharing.
Peter extends his hand and offers her his hand. The softest smile crosses her face as she interlocks her fingers with his. Ajax moves her other hand to cup Peter's whole hand, carefully moving her fingers to trace over his fingers and the delicate skin that's far too calloused for a teenager. His hands are sweaty but cold, maybe a little too cold given the weather outside. Yet, Ajax finds comfort in his hand, in being connected with interlocked fingers and that's why he offered her his hand. He understands. He gets it.
"You don't have to finish if you don't want to." Peter says. "It's okay."
It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
"No, no." Ajax shakes her head. "I have to." She nods once. "So, I haven't been able to manipulate the earth since. Ya know subconscious bullshit probably so that's frustrating and I just blamed Tony because it was easier than blaming myself or some dudes that died. But, my mom never blamed me or Tony. Never." Ajax gives the softest smile with the thought of her mom. "But, my mom was still sick and she got worse over the next five years and I fell off the deep end and Peter, yeah I told you I killed people to get you away from me but I feel guilty. If I could take them back, I would. Even the guy that gave my mom HIV. I would. I would still hunt him down but I'd just scare him. I wouldn't even touch him. I just-I Just lost it. I don't know."
"I understand." Peter says quietly. "When, uh, when Gwen's dad died, it was my fault." Peter admits. "I couldn't save him in time and I just..I couldn't do it, ya know? He was the second person-the second-he died and it's Gwen's dad. I just get it." Peter reassures.
"Yeah, Gwen said you told her." Ajax's heart dropped with Peter admitting the death to her.
"Yeah..." Peter says. "She hates me."
"She won't." Ajax says. "I promise."
"What else?" Peter asks, moving away from Gwen.
"I know you killed Norman Osborn, accident I'm assuming, right?"
Peter takes in a sharp breath. "Yeah." Peter nods and his eyes go back to their hands. "I shot a web at him and he flew back and hit a pole, it went through him." Peter's words are soft.
"I'm so sorry, Peter." Ajax says.
Peter keeps eyes away from her. "How'd you know?"
"Harry bumped into me that day, ya know? He fucking hates you so I did some research on him because hey if you have access to Stark tech, you can find out anything. Wasn't too hard from there. That's why I started pushing you away. Yeah, I suck with this whole human interaction thing but I'm not stupid. I know I like you a fucking lot. Like, more than I should but I pushed you away because the second I figured it out, I knew Harry would come for you. As I said, if you want to hurt someone-"
"You go after someone they care about." Peter finishes.
"Yeah, exactly. So, I push you away since he'd assumed we'd had a thing. We were always together and then suddenly we weren't. He asked, by the way, at lunch. He did ask so I was right but then came the idea of well, if he thought we were together and we weren't and he sees you and Gwen-"
"He'll think it's been Gwen all along and she's the reason."
"Exactly. So, you drop Gwen and I already told him that you have this crush on me and I find it super annoying." Ajax smirks with her words. "He believes me. Who knows why. I think he just needs me."
"Wait." Peter stops ajax as the realization hits him like a freight train. He releases Ajax's hands and moves to lean towards her. "No." He shakes his head. "You're choosing to risk your life for-for me."
"Yeah," Ajax takes a breath. "He'll come after me before Gwen or Ned. And I can handle m-"
"I-I-I-I can't let you do that."
"It's been done. I'm helping him with something probably to come after you and if so, I'm gonna try and sabotage it. That's why you had an upgrade. I know what your suit can handle. Tony is building me a suit, that's what he's working on. He knows parts of this."
"Why would you do this..."
"I'm terrified of how I feel about you and hell, I've fucked up and this is the one thing I can do right. Harry is gonna come after you but he'll have to go through me first I'm not letting you fight this alone like you don't let me do anything alone."
Peter sighs and shakes his head, clearly displeased with her answer. "Why are you doing this to yourself?"
Ajax bites her lip and looks away. "I don't think my dad or my mom would like who I am today and I think maybe they'd kill me themselves for doing this but they'd be proud of this. Pissed as hell but proud. They wouldn't have been proud before."
"Y-you can do that another-"
"No, I can't." ajax looks back, his eyes distant. "And I don't want to. I don't know, P." Ajax huffs. "I don't know."
"You're saying you're willing to be the bait? To risk...to sacrifice yourself essentially, for me? But you hated me a few days ago and you hated me a few months ago and you didn't even talk to me a few months before that and-"
"Peter." Ajax says but Peter keeps talking.
"I don't understand what's wrong with you? I like you, I do. I told you and it scares me, too but it scares me because I don't know if you're doing this-"
"Peter stop." Ajax tries again but Peter just keeps talking.
"To prove a point to me or to Tony. I don't think you'd do it for me. But you can't just tell me you're gonna be bait to trick Harry. Because I-I-I-I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt especially if it's because of me-"
"Fuck's sake, Parker." Ajax groans, grabbing Peter's face and bringing his mouth to hers, quieting his rambling in a kiss. Peter's body relaxes under Ajax's touch and their hearts fall in sync all over again, Ajax feeling his genuine concern for her safety. "You're right." Ajax pulls away and rests her forehead against Peter's his eyes fluttering open. "I am trying to prove myself to Tony and to you but I'm trying to prove myself to myself more than anything."
"You don't have to prove yourself to me..." Peter's voice is just above a whisper.
"Yeah, well, I'm gonna because I want to." Ajax presses. "Look, Tony will for sure be watching the sidelines. He's not gonna let either of us do something insane. I know him."
Peter sighs, realizing he wasn't going to be able to sway Ajax any other way. "Alright, alright. What's your plan?"
Ajax sighs in relief. "Okay, here's what's gonna happen then, okay? I'm gonna try and figure out when Harry is gonna come for you, that's why I gave you the earpiece. KAREN will be in your ear and I'll be able to send a text or call or anything and no matter where you are, she's in your ear and you're ready. I'm gonna try and sabotage whatever he wants me to help with and because I'm just that extra step of paranoid and rightfully so if you ask me, that's why I don't want you calling me on my phone. For all I know he's done his research on me, too and is working on my phone. I mean, Tony has the thing all sorts of messed up to keep tabs on me but I don't know, I'd rather be safe than sorry."
"So you're just the double agent."
"Yeah," Ajax nods. "Probably a good thing you piss me off sometimes and I'm a good liar."
"Thanks." Peter says, his voice holding his offense.
Ajax chuckles but it subsides quickly. "Thanks, Peter."
Peter quirks a brow with curiosity. "F-for what?"
"Uh...everything." Ajax pauses for a few seconds. "I know I'm not easy but...you've dealt with me until I told you some morally compromising shit but you still came. You still showed up. You showed up when I told you not to because you knew something was wrong. You said 'I got you' and ya know, I suck at the emotional shit, but thanks. It means a lot."
That's the thing. Peter tries to stay away for his own good, for Ajax's own good so she can figure her own shit out but he can't. He can't because she's like a magnet pulling him towards her. Even when she hurts him, he still likes her. Butterflies still explode through his bones with the very thought of her. Ajax haunts his thoughts at three in the morning when he should be asleep. She occupies every part of his brain no matter how bad he wants to deny it. He's crazy about her. It's a mess, they're a mess, but maybe they can be a mess together.
"I, uh, yeah." Peter nods quickly a few times. "I kind of...uh, like you," He shrugs. "A little too much to stay away but either way, I'll still be here." He gives ajax a soft smile that warms the very pit of her heart.
"I'm sorry."
"Stop apologizing." Peter says, this time a soft laugh. "It's okay. I understand." Peter gently reaches for Ajax's hand once more, giving her a cornered smile.
"I promise I'll make up this bullshit to you but for now, sleep?" Ajax asks with tired eyes.
"Yeah, yeah." Peter says, eyelids already drooping. "I'm exhausted." Peter lays back but Ajax's eyes don't leave him.
"Weird request coming from me, but uh, you wanna like, move up here so your feet aren't in my face?"
Peter burst into a fit of laughter with her question. "They're not bad." Peter teases.
Ajax sends him a grimace. "Do you go around your feet often to know that?"
"What?" Peter's brows furrow dramatically. "No!"
Ajax can't contain her laughter which just makes Peter burst into more laughter and soon they're both doubled over with tears in their eyes over something that's not even funny but it's late and they're both exhausted and there's comfort in laughter.
Ajax's laugh is music that still echoes in Peter's bones and Peter's laugh is the softness of a pencil gliding across paper. But their laughter just makes them both sush each other, it not exactly working and they just laugh harder before Peter gets up more courage and brings Ajax's face to his and places a soft kiss to her lips.
What is it with kissing that can just make them both cease in a second? That it can just calm every muscle, every burning vein, rush of anxiety, how does that happen? And why did it have to take so long for either of them to get to this point? But, that doesn't matter. Ajax smiles into the kiss and her hands slide to Peter's sides, gripping his hoodie and pulling him closer, almost flush against her.
"One way to shut us up, huh?" Ajax whispers against Peter's lips as his face tints red.
"Y-yeah, yeah, guess so." Peter says.
"Alright, c'mon. Sleep, you gotta be up early to get back to your aunt." Ajax says, pulling away.
"Uh...what side?" Peter asks hesitantly, wondering if it were really right to ask but then the most innocent smile comes to her face and Peter swears he's just fallen in love with her.
"I take closest to the edge." Ajax moves over and allows Peter to readjust to lay between the back of the couch and her.
It's awkward for a few seconds, the two of them tripping over words, trying to ask each other which position is the most comfortable. Peter isn't sure if he should just lay on his back, face the back of the couch, or face Ajax and Ajax can't decide if she actually wants his arms around her or just his warmth.
Well, of course she wants his arms around her because she actually feels the safest there, despite her being in the tower. Peter's arms, they're so safe and warm but then she questions if it's too fast when they're just going to be sleeping. So she bounces on how stupid it is to be so worried. So, the pair decides Peter on his back and Ajax on his chest is the best.
She can feel him, his arm around her and her ear pressed against him so she can hear his heartbeat. Peter knows she can't leave with his arm around her. It's something he has always wondered about though. He has super strength, would cuddling with someone work? Or would he freak out and have a nightmare over something and hurt that person? Ajax and Peter were making this more complicated on themselves but neither were willing to admit it or pull away. And after a few minutes, the awkwardness and anxiety faded away with lulling of Peter's heartbeat and smoothness of his touch through her hair. Within minutes, Ajax's hand was lightly gripping Peter's shirt, holding him close before she drifted off to sleep, Peter right after.