Keeping up with asgardians

Oleh the_flightless_bird

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Have you ever wanted a sitcom with the avengers?. This is not it. This is a sitcom with the asgardians! Take... Lebih Banyak

Cast
Episode one
Any guesses? Yup! Episode three!!!!
I can't believe it! Its episode four ?!
WHAAAA episode...five ?!
Six?! ALREADY?!?
holy fuck it took me this long. but chapter 7 bitches

Episode two. Right? Yeah two ..its two .

122 6 2
Oleh the_flightless_bird

Yes! He had scared her a bit !! Loki transformed himself to Odin and walked down the corridors. 'Odin' peeped into sifs room

"you are still awake?" Odin asked seriously .
In all actuality it took 90 percent of lokis Facial strength not to smirk at all. "Is everything okay?" Odin said looking at the dagger in her hand with concern
"any danger?" He asked internally thinking that the danger was him.

Sif released a breath she had no idea she was holding so far "no dad.. I mean all father, it's nothing I think.. I think I just need to sleep." she said running a hand thought her hair, yes, if was all the tiredness which was getting the better of her.

Probably she was going mad ...finally."You can go sleep, I'll be okay don't worry." sif smiled at odin, finally going back to her bed. She didn't bother to shut the door because everyone else knew better than to intrude in lady sifs chambers.

Odin smiled before Loki realised that Odin never smiled and stopped immediately. Odin frowned and nodded sternly. Yes this is how Odin behaved right? What else would Odin do? Loki racked his brain trying to imitate Odin. He hadn't paid much attention to him and this found the task hard.

"G..good warrior sif of Asgard" he said in a commanding voice "sleep! You need sleep. Worthy sleep." Loki said as Odin. Oh he should shut up. He turned to go and instead disappeared.

"Siffffff" a loud whisper was Heard near her bed "siffffff" it came again. It was a lady's voice. Loki was dying to laugh. He sounded good as a lady though. He made a mental note to use this voice on Thor one day. He smiled and called sif again

Sif plopped back on the bed, groaning as she closed her eyes.

Damn what was it? Finally going mad, if loki were here, he would have made fun of her. She remembered, sighing she sat up. If he was, her trail of thoughts was broken as she heard a feminine voice call her name.She frowned and turned to looked around frantically "who is it?!" she flipped her covers off and checked below her bed "I said who is it?!" she yelled angrily. Now she was irritated.

"It's..." Loki trailed off. Who the hell was he trying to be?? What was the scariest thing he could be? Umm think Loki think!

"D..deathhhh. I am the spirit of deathhh" Loki whispered and immediately smacked himself. What spirit would death have?! Idiot! He cursed "bewareeeeee" he spoke again in a diff female voice.

"We shall come tonight" he said not know who the hell 'we' was. He was just trying to sound ominous and scary. He remembered that he was to tell her that he was still alive.......Oh well this was more fun!

Sif scrunched her nose up, making a confused face. Death? And it has a spirit even? Okay... Now she got it "fandrall.... If this is you, I swear to norns I'm gonna chop your male parts off and feed them to you! I'm tired and this is not a damned game!" she threatened calmly.... Very calmly.

It took every fibre of strength that the nine realms could offer for Loki to not reply with "he doesn't have anything to cut off" for he was sure a spirit hadn't seen his..oh well. Loki bit his fists.

"Bewareeee" he repeated. What other word was a synonym for beware?? Hmm caution? Be careful?!

"Be afraid ..be veryyyy afraid " he said disappointed in his dialogue forming skills. He made a second mental note to work on for stupid terrifying phrases . He would ask Odin.

"enough!!!" sif now was yelling loudly, almost as loud as thor. "whoever you are, spirit or whatever, get the fuck out of my room right fucking now! And if you dont, just tell me why are you here you dumb fuck" she paced around her room irritated...

"I will show my face to you" Loki Said and stepped out. Sadly he forgot he was dressed as Odin. It ended up looking like it was Odin who was speaking in a feminine voice and scaring her all this while instead of looking like the god of mischief had pranked her. The scene was rather anticlimactic but Loki didn't even realise it.

Sif widened her eyes and then furrowed her brows, looking at odin like he had horns.... Well... Technically he did, but that was for some other time.

"all father?" she scrunched her nose up, a gesture she did when she was confused "what are you doing in my chambers? Didn't you leave?" she asked looking at him incredulously. Honestly, it was rather weird of the all father trying to sneak in her room
And did he have a sore throat?

Loki furrowed his brows. He was not used to being called father (daddy is a different matter altogether) he looked Down at himself and sighed

"Sorry" he said in a feminine voice . "No wait..sorry" he said in his own voice. He changed to himself. He stood their with a smile and open arms. He was in his own clothes. Giant reindeer horns and all. He grinned at sif "it's me battle cry... I'm alive!" He said happily.

Sif's eyes widened to the size of saucers. Now was she dreaming? She had to be... She blinked several times and pinched herself "ow?" No, it wasn't a dream. Her mind started running and she put two and two together

"YOU!" She exclaimed "YOU ARE A GODDAMNED GHOST!!" she looked around for any weapon and picked up her vase up, throwing the flowers in it. "get the hel out of my room you ghost of a bitch!!" she threatened loki with the vase.

"What the?! I don't look that bad! Its me battle cry!!" Loki said backing away for sif had hit him before ........ and he hadn't recovered for a while. She threw a mean punch. And that vase looked tough.

"I am not a ghost!" He said cursing himself. Why could he not make a normal return from the dead ? He had to botch up his own resurrection!

That's it, he didn't take the warning, not her fault.

"You asked for it" with this, sif thread the vase at him, it didn't hit him on the face but on the arm "I said get the hel out of here Ghost of an ice hoe! Lokis dead.. " she trailed off for a second, before regaining her composure "my friends dead, and you sure as hell ain't him, now get the hell out of my room and DON'T CALL ME BATTLE CRY!"

"Holy motherff..." Loki winced as the vase hit him . He watched her composure change as she said he was dead and almost wanted to hug her. Almost. There was still a giant possibility of her hitting the ghost out of him. Her hitting was causing his illusions to flicker making him look more ghostly

"okay my magic is getting out of control. Sif it's meee!!!!" He explained.

"Who is screaming?" Odins voice could be heard walking toward sifs door .

Sif froze in her place as she heard the all fathers voice. She blinked several times and turned to look at the all father "you.... " she then turned to look at loki. If he was disguised as odin, this may be one of his illusions too, well, it was a stupid thought, but given the fact it was sif, and she was hella tired she took a sharp breath and went forward slapping odin hard "you fucking ghost! You can't change can you?! Making illusions even when you're dead!!!" she glared at odin

Odin blinked while Loki laughed loudly almost falling to the floor

"you hit odin" he laughed . Odin held his sore cheek and equally sore ego and looked at sif with a bruised face and bruised mood

"I am Odin borson" he said in his commanding voice "and the laughing fool behind you is Loki odinson" he said although he pronounced odinson like it was rat poison. Loki finally came to his own self

"sif..battle cry it really is me" he smiled at her. His arm was aching like a bitch but nevermind "it's me"

Sif stood there agape watching as loki fell down on the floor laughing. So she really had hit the all father. "oh norns sorry alldaddy!!!" she said hurriedly checking his cheek, which was red and soon to be blue now. Shit... All this, because of this one asshole she called a friend. But he was alive...

"You.. You are alive?" she looked at him like a lost puppy.

"I'm alive you silly darling!" He chuckled and cupped her face while Odin mumbled something that sounded like "idiot" but one couldn't be sure.... Loki ignored him. Just like he always did and smiled with utmost fondness at sif.

"Battle cry. I'm alive"

Sif blinked back her tears at his words. Okay so this asshole was alive, for real. She smiled like a kid, another habit, sif rarely cried and when she did, it was baby sobs. She sniffled, a huge pout forming on her lips as.... WHACK! There, she slapped loki with all her force

"who the fuck do you think you are?!?! Pretending to be dead when you're alive fucking again??!?!?! I'm sick of your shit!! " she slapped him once again and started sobbing, like a baby. "I fuckin HATE you loki! You're such a bitch!!" she sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand harshly, glaring at him like an angry kid.

Lokis face snapped to one side as his entire brain shifted. Odin snorted and turned it to a cough. It took atleast ten seconds for Loki to get his alignment back together. He blinked at her "I probably deserved that" he agreed although internally...this was debatable. "I didn't think I would be missed" he shrugged "Odin didn't miss me!" He said looking at Odin expecting him to cover up and say that he did indeed miss him . Instead Odin nodded

"he speaks the truth. I didn't miss him at all"

Exactly " Loki said ( he wouldn't lie that stung)looking at sif.

"Not even a little bit" Odin added. Loki narrowed his eyes and looked back at sif who he found most adorable.

"I didn't even feel the absence" Odin chuckled.

Loki glared at him "I get it" he spat out and wrapped his arms lightly around sif wiping off her tears.

"Shush my warrior. I'm here and I'm sorry"

Sif shoved Loki's chest lightly, not with enough force to actually push him back.

"fuck off you asshole, I didnt miss you either! Not even in the slightest bit!" she sniffled irritatedly looking at him "i.. My eyes are sweating from all the tiredness probably" wow sif.... She internally face palmed. So much for nice excuses, but she didn't miss him right?... Right?!?

She looked at odin who was chuckling to himself "bald oldin" she whispered and wrapped her arms tightly around loki

"don't you dare hurt thor like that again you blue lobster!"

Odins face fell ten centimetres when she called him bald. Was he really bald? He ... had thin hair.

Loki chuckled and held her tight kissing the top of her head oh he had missed her like hel.

He looked up at Odin who was touching his head to make sure he wasn't bald.

She threatened him not to hurt Thor again and he smiled "okay" he mumbled hugging her tight and letting her full weight lean on him .

That night in thors room - Thor cuddled his bear and slept smiling....when a female voice was heard

"THOOOOOORR I am the spirit of DEATHHHH"

----------------

Ah yes. People. They never change. And neither do asgardian- adopted jotunns . They remain the same cold assholes they always were.

So Loki is alive and Sif is glad! ( Odin...not so much). ( "I didn't miss him at all!" He shouts from afar at the narrator.)

Yes I know odin. I know.

So what will happen next? Will Loki be back to his old ways? Will his neck ever be alright after that slap? Why is odin bald ( "I'm NOT BALD ! My HAIR IS THIN!")

Yes I know odin. I know.

Find out all this and more.. in keeping up with the avengers . Episode three!

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