Of course, it wasn't humanly possible to complete the tasks I'd been given in one day, so in the morning, I was punished by having more chores added to my list. For days, I slaved away for my family with no time of rest. I hardly slept a few hours each night before I had to get up and start the day again.
I noticed Greta giving me worried glances after the first week. Apparently, the amount of weight I was losing was becoming obvious. I knew all the servants were trying to lighten my load to the best of their ability, but their plates were already overfilled without the addition of my troubles.
In my days of work, I formed bruises on my knees and arms until the skin began to wear down. It came to a point where I had to wear permanent bandages on my hands and knees to keep them red and raw instead of cracked and bleeding. I scrubbed floors, washed endless walls and windows, turned over the entire house at my mother's crazed cleaning commands, and still, it wasn't good enough. None of it was ever good enough. I had hoped and sometimes dreamed, that if I did everything they asked of me, they would accept me as part of the family and allow me to take up my proper place again. I should have known better.
I cleaned Annabella's foul room and beat every rug in the house until I felt the pounding in my exhausted arm well into my short night. After a while, whatever dreams I had possessed fled from my mind, and I lost all hope. Despair didn't even have room in my heart. I was too tired to feel anything.
As if that weren't enough, by night, I was tormented by nightmares. The fear of having forgotten some task or having more work added to my load took fierce hold of my dreams, leaving me restless. Worst of all were the vivid visions of some new punishment Mother and Adella devised to make my life more hellish.
A year passed beneath my feet like so many grains of sand through open fingers. Before I knew it, the girls had taken up the discussions of the court balls again, and I was forced to suffer longer hours and—if possible—more work. Thankfully, however, their minds were too preoccupied on what they would wear, how graceful they would look, and what the prince would think of them to pay too much attention to me, so my punishments were lessened.
While working in Flora's room one day, I chanced to catch a glimpse of myself in her vanity mirror. I almost didn't recognize the face that peered back at me. I looked worn and thin, almost haggard, and there was almost a year's worth of grime coating my skin. I had tried to stay as clean as possible, but besides the fact that I had no time for such things, I had been forbidden the use of a bathtub. As a lowly scullery wench, I could use a bowl and a dirty rag if I needed to clean myself.
That first visit to Father's study had been my last. Though I found comfort in the familiarity of his scent and the things he'd used to love, I had resolved not to let my family see me collapse beneath the weight of their torment, and if I ventured there, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from letting go the torrent of emotions I felt. I was going to stay strong.
In a year, I had learned to carry the trays evenly and without mishap. I learned to open doors with my hands impossibly full, and because of some iron in me, I bore up under Adella's treatment of me without a single tear. And I forgot what it was to be loved and cared for. Despite Greta's kindness, she couldn't spare much time for me, either.
Another birthday came and went, and when it was just a year after the news of Father's death, Mother began making plans to travel to the city for the New Year's Ball. A year ago, I'd had the prospect of going along, but now, to my relief, I was to be left behind with the other servants.
"It was only at your father's insistence that you would have gone, anyway. He was ever a foolish man." She told me as I stood at the supper table one night, waiting to serve.
It had been my duty since the dismissal of the last footman to wait table at mealtimes. This particular night, I didn't have much to do. Apparently, I was there at Annabella and Flora's request that I should hear their plans. Perhaps, they thought I'd be jealous, but they didn't realized how pleased I was at the prospect of remaining at the house.
I was to have myself to myself for several weeks. I could finally bathe and maybe find time to wash and patch my worn clothes. As a matter of fact, I could do whatever I wanted, and nothing could have made me happier.
"Indeed, Angela would have no place there. She would only disgrace us." Flora's gaze went to Adella as she spoke, looking for approval, but Adell pointedly ignored her.
"Mother, what about maids? We cannot go into society without maids. It wouldn't be proper." Adella's lips were tight, and it was clear she had been considering this for some time.
"That's true. I'm not sure where we'll find them. Your father used to take care of such things; it was the one thing he was good at." Mother forgot her food and stared blankly at the wall as though it would give her some sort of inspiration.
"Why don't we have Angela tell us what to do? She was always with Father when he got things ready." Annabella piped in—probably hoping to increase my discomfort. I found myself in an awkward situation suddenly as all eyes turned to me.
"I wouldn't know much about such things. If my ladies will care to remember, I never got the chance to attend." I offered slowly. Mother snorted and turned back to her meal. "However, if you truly want to know what I think, I think you should forgo as much as possible. With the debt we've incurred, there is no extra money to spend on finery or, in fact, on anything at all. People would understand if you were unable to attend due to financial trouble." I didn't know why I spoke. Perhaps somewhere in my heart, I still cared what happened to them, and despite their cruelty, they were my means of survival, too. What would we do when it came time to pay the bills and there was no money? They all rounded on me as the words came out of my mouth, dumbfounded at the very suggestion. Adella was the first to recover.
"As you said yourself, you've never attended, and you don't know anything about it. Besides, if money is tight, it's only because you cost so much to keep. If you worked half as hard as you did when you ate, we'd be in a much better place." She snapped. An obvious lie. "You needn't worry about it. It's not your place to meddle in our affairs." Her eyes narrowed into slits as she examined me before her gaze shifted to Mother, and she ignored me again. "I shan't go unless I have a maid, and that's final!" She spoke with such force that even Mother was taken aback.
"But, darling, you can't possibly mean that!" Mother leaned forward in her chair, almost breathless. For once, she forgot the food that had been placed in front of her. "You must catch his eye. You know that as well as I do. If you don't go, how will he ever notice you?" She was aghast, but Adella was firm, her lips tightening into a hard line.
"No, Mother, I shan't have it. Either I get a mad or I stay home, plan or no plan!" She slurped her wine and pointedly stared at a wall. I could tell she was egging Mother on, trying to find a soft spot, so she could get what she wanted. I'd seen her do it hundreds of times, but Mother never seemed to notice. At this point, I didn't know what she could want. She already had everything money—or no money, as the case may be—could buy.
"Well. . ." Mother downed her wine and stared at the dazzling crystal on the table—a new investment that had to be dusted and polished every hour to give it the proper shine. "I think you'd better change your mind, love. This could be your last chance! You know his father grows impatient. Soon, he'll be sending him to some foreign place to find a bride, and then what will become of you?"
"What will become of you, Mother? And the girls?" Adella was making it seem like a disaster.
"Exactly! Think of us, your family! What will we do if you fail us?" Mother reached for Adella's hand as though that would help her see. "As Angela says, we don't have the money to hire anyone respectable." Mother wailed, her cheeks beginning to redden with emotion. "We'll all go to ruin!"
"Never mind, Mother." Adella straightened and began eating again. "I'll take Angela." My jaw went slack, and I dropped the decanter in my surprise and horror.
"What?" Mother was so astounded that she forgot her rankled emotions and sat up in her chair, staring at Adella as if she'd gone mad. "Angela? She knowns nothing about being a lady's maid!"
"No, but who else will clean our things and take care of our luggage? To make sure there's no scandal, we can take her to the ball." Adella smiled at me. Evidently, she had noticed my lack of sorrow over being left behind, and, as usual, she had found her way to my underbelly.
I felt ill inside. Surely, Mother wouldn't take me! She wouldn't want me to go! It was foolish! The look on Mother's face, however, spoke the opposite.
"Why, of course! What a wonderful idea! I had been wondering what we were going to do about the scandal that would undoubtedly arise over the matter, but this clears things up beautifully! What a genius you've turned out to be, my dear daughter, just like your mother!" Mother leaned over and wrapped her arms around Adella, smother her in a motherly embrace. "Angela," returning to her seat, Mother turned her head to the side, not even looking at me where I was frozen in place, horrified expression glued to my features. "Do you have sufficient gowns to attend? We haven't been anywhere special enough for you to wear out your old ones. They still fit you, I presume?" I struggled to swallow, finally gulping, I should my head. "Speak up, girl, I can't hear your head rattle!"
"No, madame." I said hoarsely, my throat constricting upon itself. "I've worn them every holiday and Sunday, and they're almost threadbare. I've had to use a few of them for work, too, since my other gowns were no longer decent." I could only hope she'd think the expense too great to get me any new clothes, and this would soon be nothing but a ridiculous scare.
"Hmm," she paused to think for a moment. "Well, I'm sure Flora and Annabella have enough old gowns between them that you could have a very fine wardrobe, even if it is a bit old and out of style. People won't expect us to be the bells of every ball, so there shouldn't be any problems." She clapped her meaty hands together, a gleeful grin running the expanse of her face. "It's settled then. Tomorrow, we'll sort out the gowns you'll need, and we'll get your a trunk, and that will be that."
"Why does she have to take our gowns? It's not fair!" Flora suddenly wailed. "Adella never has to give any of her things away! You just don't love us as much as her!" She pointed an accusing finger at Mother.
"Oh, hush, Flora!" Adella almost snarled. "You never wear all your gowns anyway. They just pile up on your floor and stink up the entire house. Would you rather have your name associated with a grand scheme of scandals? Do you ever want to find a husband?" Flora glared at Adella for a moment before melting into a slouch of grumbles and glares.
"Oh, for Pete's-sake, Angela, stop staring before you freeze that way!" Mother turned to look at me, her eyes traveling my height with quick calculation. "Clean up the mess for heaven's sake, and bring another decanter of wine. Be quick about it, too. Going to the ball doesn't mean you'll be neglecting your other duties!"
Awoken from my stupefied condition, I cleaned up the broken glass as quickly as I could. Cradling the shards in my apron, I raced off to the kitchen as fast as I could.
"Bree?" Greta looked up from her work as I stumbled in. "What in the world's the matter?"
"Oh, Greta!" I wailed. "They mean to take me to the city! I must go to the ball as their lady-in-waiting!" She pulled me into a chair, taking care of the glass bits.
"You're not to stay here?" I shook my head, and she stared off into space for several moments. "Adella had a hand in this?" I nodded, trying to even out my breath. "I thought as much. There isn't anything you can do about it." She sounded sorry, but at the same time, there was a certain lift to her voice as though she was happy but didn't want to show it. "You must get back; be quick now! They'll be no more forgiving now that you're going." She almost leapt to her feet and grabbed another decanter, shoving it into my hands and hurrying me out the door.
For a moment, I stood just outside the door, a frown etched on my features. There was something going on here bigger than me. I had tried for so many years to discover why my father insisted I go to the ball with everyone else. I had even resented him for it when I found out about it. Why would he want to send me to a place I didn't want to go to?
Finally, I sighed and made my way back to the dining room. Confusion clutched at me like the dirt on my skin. I had so many questions and so few answers, and everything in my life seemed to revolve around this ball. The thought terrified me.
Hey, y'all! Sorry for the late posting. . .again. . .Haha! Life is crazy sometimes!!!
What do you think will happen next? What is this new mystery?
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! I will be posting again on Saturday, so keep an eye out for that!