Might I mention this whole thing was 4506 words?
Au?: Slightly. On the matter of ships I suppose but that's it (Qinter and the world can fight me. Which it undoubtedly will, going off what I received so far when I shared her elsewhere)
QINTER
YES
FUCKING
YES
Tbh when they dropped fucking Qinter hints in Darkness of Dragons I was just like "biTCH—"
The worst part though
Is the fact that they didn't even do anything about it
Like they just kinda left it all unsaid and I was so upset cause I fangirled and screeched at every single Qinter moment I found (even if it was just an awkward interaction or something) and then I realized it all lead up to nothing, just Moonbli happening and Winter being sad
Like I was just so freakin mad
I prefer Moon as a single gal; I don't know, I just can't imagine her having a significant other, I don't know why.
Qibli and Winter, on the other hand, I can totally imagine them together and if Tui decides to trash Moonbli and Winterwatcher and make them a couple then she'd immediately become my favorite author ever (I mean, she already is, but her position would then be permanent, glued to her forever)
But yes, I'm a Qinter supporter and anyone can fuckin fite me
Name: StarSong
... A singing star? What is it with all these names and not making sense? Like I know, the name sounds like a NightWing name, but typically, NightWing names make some sort of logical sense (ex: Nimbleclaws, Morrowseer, etc. Now imagine two alternate names: Nimbleseer and Morrowclaws. Doesn't make sense, does it?) so I don't think the name Starsong fits into that category.
If you need help with figuring out a new name for her (or for any other character), you can always ask me.
Also — you mentioned that her grandmother calls her Lullaby, yes? Well, I think that Lullaby is a GREAT name for her.
Nicknames: Most commonly called Star, but her grandmother calls her Lullaby, and her siblings and some close friends call her Blossom for her adoration of flowers
So, Blossom's a nickname? Alright. Also, I love grandma nicknames.
Age: 17
A... decent age, I suppose. One up from 16, and I suppose it's more like 27 in maturity, hmm?
Gender: Female
Okay.
Sexuality: Asexual/biromantic
Hell yeah
Tribe: NightWing
I actually really like NightWings; there's a lot of ways you can stretch the limits with them, if that makes sense.
Physical Appearance: Star is very, very small and slim for a NightWing, most believe this to be due to her being raised in the rainforest,
NO
OH NO
NO NO NO
OH GOD NO
PLEASE NO
Not another Moon! Ughh. Another NightWing OC that's been, miraculously, raised in the rainforest? Great.
(Edit: Looking at the backstory, I can see there's a valid explanation for this, so you're good.)
and not getting proper nutrition.
Wait, if that's the case, wouldn't she be more fit with more nutrition? I mean, think about it. Most of the other NightWings were raised on a volcanic island, with barely any food or water, and with their air tainted heavily with volcanic ash and fiery smoke. However, a dragon that grew up with fruit to eat, proper air to breathe, natural sunlight and drinkable water, I think, would be more fit than the average NightWing. At the very least, Starsong would have a rounder and bigger belly.
Her left wing is actually a bit smaller than the right, and the membrane is slightly torn, due to falling out of a tree when she was younger, making it hard to fly.
Nice detail, actually. I can imagine that makes her flight a little wobbly?
She has tiny silver speckles across her face, like freckles, and her scales have the faintest ombré affect, fading from a very dark purple at her head, to a shade lighter at her tail. Her under-wings have the normal NightWing stars, hers seem to form flower shapes, and are almost white, with the tiniest hint of purple. Her eyes are a darker purple than her head scales, they almost appear black, but in the right light, one can tell they are, in fact, purple, and they always shine with curiosity and joy. She has no major scars, other than the tear in her wing membrane, and a couple scrapes across her scales from tree branches.
Alright, I can imagine her pretty clearly. She seems like the kind of dragon with accessories, like she seems like a flower-crown type of gal. Maybe you wanna add that in? Just a suggestion, of course. She just seems to be the kind of dragon to wear something like a flower crown.
Queen She Supports: Queen Glory
Makes sense.
Personality: Star is a joyful girl, who just wants to see everyone else happy. Her heart and mind act as one, though, unfortunately, that dulls her senses in the matter of trust. She is very gullible, and believes EVERYTHING, which lead to some teasing when she was much younger, mind that she wasn't aware it was teasing, and still isn't to this day, but that stopped after they realised she wasn't scared of the monsters, she just wanted to find them. She has very high curiosity, and is always determined to find something new, and fascinating, to show her adoptive parents, and her siblings.
Star is also very bright, as her inquisitive nature means she's desperate to learn more, and she most certainly does.
Hmm. Because of the whole gullibility and believer of everything, she doesn't seem to be the brightest in the world. Maybe she knows a lot based on books, but when it comes to actually doing something in order to learn it, it's hard for her? Like math? I don't know.
I just suggest that maybe she's only bright in certain areas, while she's not the best in others.
In her time at JMA, she managed to be one of the top students, particularly in history, her most beloved subject.
I hate history, but that might just be because history's boring to me lmao
I mean like, there certainly are the must-knows in history, but there are a few things that are taught in history that is extremely unnecessary and useless to one's education. Like, who needs to know what that one historical figure's fourth wife's 255 letter name was?
She can often be found attempting to catch frogs to study, or any creature really, she has a pet Gila Monster she found on one of her expeditions to discover creatures. His name is Scalene.
Cool.
Star also suffers from extreme pyrophobia, the fear of fire, due to an incident that occurred in her schooling years, and refuses point blank to even be near fire, let alone use her fire breath, and monophobia, the fear of being alone, because of her dependency on others. Her generally extroverted personality now, is not quite how it has always been, as a hatchling, she was actually slightly shy, but at JMA she did develop a lot of confidence, until the last few years, when she became extremely titchy about new dragons. She's over that now, though and is just a happy extrovert most the time.
Makes sense, good bits of detail.
Overall, she's very sweet, and kind, though that causes her to be what some would call 'a doormat' and overlooks many obvious warning signs that another dragon is dangerous. She's dependent on her siblings due to this. She's very excitable on the matter of history and new discoveries, and pretty smart for one so gullible. In general she's a small cinnamon roll and I love her
Her personality's pretty good, but I think it's in some need of lengthening and/or spicing up.
Likes: We will be here a long time. Star likes most things, so I'll list the things she absolutely adores. As I have said, she loves history, and does everything in her power to know all there is to know about it, she also adores animals, of any kind, from creepy critters like spiders, to adorable bunnies, from tiny butterflies to massive elephants, Star loves them all. She is slightly odd for a NightWing, in the sense that she actually likes fruits a lot more than meat, but still eats meat due to the fact that as a NightWing she needs it to stay healthy. She quite enjoys reading, which, I know, is cliche, but it fits her personality, she usually reads things on history or animals. She also loves the rainforest, as it is her home, and her family and friends.
Seems pretty good, actually.
Dislikes: Star dislikes a very, very limited mount of things, but here's the list. She truely hates it when dragons take advantage of her trusting nature, she just doesn't get how dragons could be so cruel, don't mistake this as her realising trusting everyone is a bad idea, I highly doubt that will ever happen. She also hates when others hunt for the fun of it, pointlessly killing animals horrifies her, she hates pears, as in the actual fruit, because she gets a small allergic reaction to it, that causes her tongue to swell up, and tingle. It's more annoying than anything, and she can't talk with her tongue swollen up. Along with this (though these are more fears than dislikes) Star HATES being left alone without explanation, as she'd used to being surrounded by many people, she hates the very IDEA of it, and she also fears fire, as she knows how deadly it can be.
Okay... I suppose. The overall personality, I must say, is pretty bland. Star needs at least a few extra traits, but mostly her personality needs to be spiced up, it's a bit boring to be honest.
Family: LunarEclipse (older sister- a pitch black NightWing with reddish silver stars under her wings, and dark, red brown eyes- alive),
Oh hey, you mentioned you had a Lunar Eclipse. Well, her appearance fits her name, so it's good. The only thing is — shouldn't Lunar Eclipse have a space between the two words?
FateTwister (older brother- a dark purple NightWing with golden stars under his wing, and black eyes- alive),
W o W I love that name. Fatetwister is an awesome NightWing name.
Peach (adoptive sister- a large, albino RainWing, she is unable to change her white scales, her eyes are a reddish pink- alive ),
Actually, that's a good name, Peach for an albino RainWing.
Terra (adoptive brother- a large, amber coloured MudWing with light brown eyes, Cotta's twin- alive), Cotta (adoptive sister- a large, amber coloured MudWing with light brown eyes, Terra's twin- alive), Sugar (adoptive mother- an Ice/Rain hybrid (her IceWing father was a runaway from the war, who hid in the rainforest) with shiny pink scales, she has a few scales littered around her face that change colour, and appear like freckles, her eyes are an ice blue- alive),
Is Sugar sugary sweet?
I'm sorry I couldn't help it.
Pear (adoptive mother- a typically green RainWing, with pear green eyes, and an oddly stocky build for a RainWing- alive),
Ironic, really. Doesn't she hate pears?
StarShifter (birth mother- a dark blue NightWing with white stars, and dark purple eyes- status unknown),
That's actually not a bad name — but what about, like, Starmover? Also, why is the prefixes both "Star"? Somehow, I feel like that's pushing it a bit.
Also, you, as the author, know whether or not he's alive. You could've put it there, there's no excuse.
MorrowSeer (note- he was named after the canon character, he is not the actual character) (birth father- a dark purple NightWing with golden stars under his wings, and pitch black eyes-status unknown),
This seems... lazy. Also, I can't imagine anyone would name their child after Morrowseer, despite how great he was he seemed a bit of a jerk.
Maybe name him something else?
Again with the "unknown status"...
StarFrost (maternal grandmother- a pitch black NightWing with white stars and dark blue eyes- alive)
Alright, this is DEFINITELY pushing it. Why are their names all "Star—"? Not to mention, Starfrost makes legit no sense, Stars can't frost or frost over. You should probably name her something else.
I'm not against that whole line being named "Star—" for whatever reason, but that reason should be stated (if there is one, which there should be) and the names should at least make some sort of sense.
Friends: All her living family, Reflection (a male silver coloured IceWing with black eyes who likes to say he sees her as an annoyance rather than a friend- alive- animus),
Wait, how is he an animus? IceWings don't have animi anymore, they all died out a loooonnngggg time ago. The only way he can be an animus is if he isn't completely IceWing.
The name's pretty good — it's great, actually. It seems a bit SeaWing though — actually, how about you make him a Sea/Ice hybrid? Or maybe make him partially SeaWing?
Rainbow (smol hyper female RainWing that is a variety of colours- deceased),
RainWings are short for RainbowWings, they just changed it so it was shorter. Maybe name her something that has to do with a rainbow— like, Spectrum, Colorful, Vivid.
Pine (massive female MudWing with very dark brown scales and pitch black eyes- alive), Misty (a very, very tiny female sunset orange SkyWing with red brown eyes and rage issues- alive),
What is it with all these SkyWings and having rage issues lmao?
Also, Star has a lot more friends than I could ever hope to get cri ;-;
those are the main BFF, question mark by Reflection, she has a long list of other friends, but that all take too long
So she's like Kinkajou lmao
JMA Winglet: (I felt this was important to add as I cannot class them all as 'friends' since the SkyWing, SeaWing, and SandWing were horrid to her) IceWing-Reflection (as stated before), SkyWing-Magenta (a large female SkyWing with dark pink scales, and red eyes, dating Crash- alive), SeaWing-Crash (like waves crashing)
Still. You could say that for other dragons.
IceWing — Crash (like Icebergs crashing)
SkyWing — Crash (like cliffs crashing)
Etc, etc.
(average size male SeaWing with seaweed green scales, definitely smokes seaweed everyday, he actually doesn't sleep much and has bloodshot blue eyes, dating Magenta-alive), SandWing-Husk (scary big male SandWing with sandy coloured scales, and black eyes, he has several scars from picking fights in the Scorpion Den-alive),
I think Husk would like my OC Black Mamba, they seem pretty similar.
RainWing-Panther (typically black, petite male RainWing, with blue eyes, very gay and thinks he's in love with Husk-alive),
I SHIP IT LMAO
MudWing-Oak (bulky female MudWing with muddy brown scales and brown eyes-deceased),
;-;
replacement MudWing-Terra (as stated above)
Crush: She has a fan crush on StarFlight, that will result to nothing, otherwise, none
Tbh I can see it lmao with her love of reading and history
I'm actually glad you added this in, it seems realistic to both Starflight's character and Star's character
Abilities: Star is able to breathe fire, but due to her fear of fire, she never does so, she is also able to almost disappear into dark shadows, admittedly there is few of them in the RainWing village, and she hardly ever does that either
Pretty realistic abilities. So she has all the regular NightWing abilities, NOT including moon-powers? HALLELUJAH!
Hobbies: Flower crown making is one of her favourite hobbies, and she has most certainly picked up the best ways to do so, she also reads up on history from time to time, she enjoys messing around with chemicals and studying DNA with the other NightWings, too, now that they're living in the rainforest
See?? I think she would be a great flower-crown WEARER!
I mean, if she makes them, I don't see why she wouldn't wear them.
Residence: She lives in the RainWing village with her family in a leaf hut
Ok, seems good.
Backstory: This happens about twenty years after the canon timeline.
Huh, ok
When Star hatched, it was a bad time in the NightWing village. There was a disease spreading among the hatchlings and dragonets. In fear she would catch it, her mother left her, newly hatched on the edge of the NightWing village, along with her two siblings, both of which had already picked up slightly more aggressive, assertive personalities from the NightWings.
Ok, THIS makes sense.
Star meanwhile, had no such impressions on her. Pear found the three of them, and, being a gentle soul, brought them back with her, to be raised along with her and her mate's other three adopted dragonets. The household was always bustling and very busy, as would be expected with six children.
Y E S many family members
As one of the youngest, she watched most her siblings, except the MudWing twins, leave to Jade Mountain Academy before her, and was always excited to go. Upon arrival she was put into the Emerald Winglet, she became determined to become friends with EVERYONE in the Winglet.
Ohh sweet bab omg
Now, she'd been teased from time to time in the rainforest, but that was absolutely nothing compared to what was about to fall upon her, due to her gullible nature. Husk, the SandWing in her Winglet, was extremely annoyed by her friendly attitude, he was very set that NightWings should be more mysterious and silent, he had RainWing's to be hyper. He was horrible to her, but she never really seemed to notice at first, thinking it was his way of showing friendship, until Magenta and Crash got involved.
At this point, Reflection had sort of warmed up to her, and, when she wasn't looking, would often snap at Husk to stop pushing her around, he was in detention for attacking another student when something terrible happened.
Husk, Magenta, and Crash, decided to get rid of Star, by getting her expelled. And, to make it a double blow, get rid of Oak, who was very bright, and often forced her study schedules on her Winglet mates.
They got Star to come with them to the library, where, unbeknownst to Star, Oak was studying for an upcoming test. They kept daring her to do very stupid things, such as breathing fire on the scrolls.
Now, Oak usually studied in a small nock, behind a bookshelf with only one way out. Magenta dared Star to light the entrance on fire. Not realising Oak was there, Star complied, believing it was all in good fun, plus she's gullible as hell and gives into peer pressure way too easily.
When it actually started to go up, the other three, realising this was burning more then they'd thought it would, made a run for, and told Tsunami that Star had set the library on fire.
At this point, Star realised something wasn't right, and tried to put out the fire. Too late. Oak, who had fallen asleep while studying, was caught in the fire, and, inevitably, was severely burned.
Tsunami, being dragged by Crash, saw this, and was shocked. Star was a very docile student, and had a habit of screaming when stuff was set on fire for examples in class. She put out the fire and Oak was taken to be treated, she died a few hours later.
Realising what she had caused, Star felt horrible, but her biggest fear was being sent home. She didn't want to give up her education, but as much as she told the teachers that the other three had dared her, the more Husk, Magenta, and Crash, denied it. They claimed she'd dragged them into the library, and told them she was going to stop Oak making them study.
Her sister, LunarEclipse, along with Reflection, Rainbow (who was in LunarEclipse's Winglet), and Misty (Magenta's twin, who knew exactly what her sister was like), got in on the argument, and when Tsunami had had enough of them arguing, she called in MoonWatcher, who she knew could read minds, to sort the issue once and for all.
After Moon had sorted it, Magenta, Crash, and Husk, served detention for days, and Star had a seperate detention helping clean the library, and writing letters to Oak's siblings to express her apologies for their loss, and how she was deeply sorry such an accident had happened.
OKAY, I feel like Magenta, Crash and Husk should get EXPELLED, and that Star would serve detention for days instead. I mean, Mag, Crash and Husk legit KILLED a STUDENT!
And it may not have been Star's fault, but she still partook in it, so she should still get a punishment, just a bit less extreme.
Pine, Oak's BigWings, came to visit the get the full story from her, and, after a while of Pine glaring at Star, and Star hiding her face and sobbing, they actually developed a friendship, Pine accepted it was just a horrible, horrible mistake, and often speaks to Star to this day.
I think Pine would've been more... fierce. After all, sibs are extremely close, and BigWings extremely protective. Maybe they could've been friends, but I think Pine would've been a lot meaner to Star.
It was decided she was allowed to stay at JMA, but if even the slightest slip up happened, she would be expelled, a replacement MudWing, also had to be brought in, and, despite the horror of the situation, Star was pleased to see Terra had been decided as the replacement.
Husk began to be extremely horrible to her, he almost went as far as stabbing her with his tail once, but Reflection interfered. He never really tried to physically hurt her other than that, but he made her life miserable in every way possible, and Panther, who was an absolute idiot, began to follow him around and help him with that sort of thing, since he seemed to think he had a crush on Husk.
Star slowly developed an extreme dependence on others to help her in these situations, and Misty became one of the ones to help her constantly. Misty had serious anger issues, and was more than happy to take her anger out on Husk when he was pushing her friend around, and her and Star became fast friends.
Star began to appreciate being home at the end of the terms a lot more in her last years at JMA, as Magenta and Crash became a serious problem. The pair began to mess with all her homework, ruining her grades, to the point where she became very secluded, and didn't speak to many dragons for a while.
Luckily, she was out soon enough, and had definitely made plenty friends while she'd been there.
After a couple years in the rainforest again, she quickly began to return to her joyous self, but she can't stand being near fire, or being alone for more than ten minutes. After a while, she took up a job as a nanny, looking after young dragonets while their parents were busy.
One of her friends from JMA, Rainbow, often helped her with her job, and the pair worked together constantly, whether they were actually working or not. They became very close, and were almost never apart, until, one day, Rainbow went a little too far out of the rainforest into the desert, when she was 17, and Star was 15, she was meant to be retrieving some of the cactus that cured SandWing venom, as a group of boisterous dragonets had destroyed the last supply.
Without realising it, she entered the home area of an old, slightly insane SandWing soldier, who seemed to think the war was still going, he killed her and ditched her body at the edge of the rainforest, before returning to his little hole of insanity. (Said insane SandWing is based off real incidents of army soldiers driven insane from WW2, they're stuck on islands out somewhere apparently, I read it somewhere)
Wow, you really did your research. Props to you.
Star, who was going to see why her friend had not yet returned, was the one who came across her mangled corpse. It tore her heart in half to see her friend dead. It was her siblings who found her, all of them, mourning at the edge of the rainforest. She refused to leave the body of her friend for three days before her mother, Sugar, was able to talk some sense back into her, and make her come home.
After that, Rainbow was given a proper funeral, and Star managed to recover, deciding to cherish her friends memory, rather than mourn it. Reflection actually came to visit her and see how she was doing at this point, and he ended up deciding to stay in the rainforest and help her, as there was nothing for him in the Ice Kingdom, he was nobody there. In the rainforest he was at least respected for his shiny scales, AT LEAST.
During his time there, Star continued working as a nanny in the RainWing village, and since Rainbow's death, thankfully, nothing bad really happened.
Reflection's animus ability is never mentioned in the backstory... Huh. Why? I feel like there should be a whole story on that.
Well, anyhow, the backstory is really great. It explains her flaws, it makes sense. I really like it. It's very realistic.
(Note I'm only on Winter Turning, excuse the inevitable mistakes, it will be heavily altered once I'm up to date on the series again)
(Another note, this is a serious WIP, somethings may not complete sense, and the idea of Oak dying is also a WIP, I don't really know if I'll use it or not because Oak is amazing and I love her)
I love Oak, but it adds a lot to the story to make her die. I know, it's awful, but it's good character development.
Also, this character is really good for being WIP!
Other: Star has both Monophobia (the fear of being alone in life) and Pyrophobia (the fear of fire), both developed while in the rainforest, the monophobia is simply due to constantly being surrounded by loved ones, while pyro was picked up when she was told of the dangers of fire, it increased dramatically after what happened with Oak
Yep, makes sense
My Rating:
8.8/10
Originality: 25/25 (This character is completely original)
Realism: 13/25 (1.5 points knocked off for the name, 2 points knocked off for the bland personality, 3 points knocked off for the names as a whole, 1.5 points knocked off for Reflection being an animus without explanation, 2 points knocked off for backstory things [Pine's lack of fierceness and Husk's, Mag's, and Crash's situation], 2 points knocked off for the bits of information lacking in the appearance)
Interest: 25/25 (I'm very interested in this character)
Uniqueness: 25/25 (This character is very unique)
Comments:
WOW this was long. But Star is an awesome character, and I really loved rating her!