Jungkook woke up to the familiar sounds of the house early on a Tuesday morning and spent a few minutes analyzing them, trying to figure out their source. Seokjin in the kitchen. Namjoon breaking something followed by Jimin scolding him. Yoongi screaming at Hoseok who was laughing his head off. Jungkook smiled for the first time in a few days and brought his hands to rest under his head. Today was going to be a good day. He just had that feeling. He scrunched up his nose as he remembered he hadn't heard Taehyung. He strained his ears in hopes of hearing his caretaker. Upon hearing nothing, Jungkook concluded he must still be asleep and closed his eyes and continued listening to the others at the front of the house. Over the past few days since he had been let go, Jungkook had taken to listening. He didn't want his Hyungs seeing his puffy eyes, dark circles and tear streaked cheeks or his greasy hair and wrinkled clothes. He didn't want to worry them further, he didn't want to be a nuisance.
For the first time in days, Jungkook climbed out of bed before the last few noises had vanished, leaving the house to himself. He went over to his desk and decided on a polka dot bow and went to the mirror where he adjusted the clip on the bow to perfection. He smiled at himself. Even through the mess of his current state, he couldn't help but want one part of himself to look good. Little Space may not have been something he'd had the pleasure of knowing these past few days, as he felt uncomfortable going into a child mentality in such a dire situation, but the bow gave him comfort. Even if he wanted Little Space, it was just something that wouldn't come to him, he didn't mind though. He'd purchased adult coloring books for stressful situations such as this one. Even the children ones were good relievers.
He made his way over to his desk and sat down. His Hyungs in their worried mindset had been sticking papers and other thin objects through the crack under his door. He hadn't been in the mood to check what was on them over the past few days and since he was feeling so good today, he decided on looking through them. The first were just little notes that said things like "Please come out" or "We're worried", things that Jungkook just tossed to the side. Things he was tired of hearing but was grateful to know. He grinned excitedly at seeing a letter Seokjin had written about his engagement to Namjoon and was excited to see the couple in action when he felt and looked okay enough to come out. The thing that caught his eye was a plastic CD case with a disc labeled #Yoonmin_Is_Real_2 and a green hard drive with 'Property of Namjoon' written on top. He inserted the disc and a file appeared with several pictures and videos of Yoongi and Jimin together, things Jungkook wished he could've seen but hadn't been in the right state to. Jungkook then moved to Namjoon's hard drive and discovered yet another file with two iTunes files which had 'Cypher 2: Triptych' and 'Cypher 3: Killer' labeling them and then a document which read, "Finished both of them over the past 3 weeks and thought our biggest fan would like to hear them and maybe be cheered up :)". Jungkook smiled and downloaded the songs. He then moved back to the pile and sorted through the rest of the "We're worried" type messages and finally came to all of Taehyung's drawings. He smiled faintly and decided on what he was going to do that day.
He jumped up from his desk chair, causing it to spin around a bit and grabbed his coloring book and crayons from his bookshelf and threw himself into his papasan chair. He opened up to the page he had been working on the night he had fixed chicken nuggets, which he had never finished. The bear was still only part way colored and only one more present had been colored since that night. Jungkook grabbed his glasses from his bedside table next to him and put them on. He grinned as he colored, this would be perfect to give to Taehyung.
Taehyung would love it. He'd love the purple bear and the brightly colored presents. Most of all he'd love that Jungkook had colored it and put effort into it.
Or would he?
Jungkook's coloring faltered.
He would. Of course he would. Why wouldn't he?
Because it's an oddly colored drawing. What bear is purple? The colors are going out of the lines!
The effort is what matters.
If effort is all that matter than this tiny piece of clay I turned into a ball is perfect, too.
Jungkook dropped the crayon.
Not today. He wasn't doing this today. He was going to remain positive.
Taehyung's not going to like it.
He is. I tried my best and Taehyung liked my previous drawings.
Taehyung likes everything. Even messes like you.
I'm not a mess.
Yes you are. Just look at yourself. Your hair is a mess. You look like you haven't slept in days. You've cried so much your eyes are this close to being permanently red and you have no job. How will Taehyung like you now?
Jungkook lowered his head.
Taehyung will support me even through this hard time.
How are you so sure? He seemed okay with leaving you alone, abandoned for so long. How are you so sure he even is still willing to deal with you?
He didn't abandon me. He had work. It's his dream and I will be there for him. Just like he'll be here for me.
Then where is he?
Jungkook tried to swallow the lump in his throat but failed.
He's resting. He had a late night at work.
How are you so sure he wasn't with Bambam?
So what if he was? I don't tell him where to go or what to do.
Bambam's the threat, Jungkook. He threatens your time with Taehyung.
Bambam's perfectly nice.
Doesn't mean anything. He's taking your place.
Jungkook clutched his head, he'd had enough.
Stop it!
I'm only pointing out what's in your head.
So stop!
Jungkook dashed towards the bathroom, the coloring book flying off his lap and hitting the floor, the crayons spilling out of the box. He flung open the medicine cabinet and grabbed his orange prescription bottle. He aggressively twisted the lid off and found it empty. His hand holding the bottle began to shake, fear gripping him. Anger washed over and he threw the bottle. It cracked as it met the hardwood, a crackling plasticy sound resonating out. Jungkook breathed in out trying to calm himself. Everything would be okay. Everything would be okay. He shook his hands as he breathing became regulated. He bent down and picked up the cracked container and placed it in his trash can. He sighed. How was he supposed to deal with this? Without the meds, his moods would change just like that. Without the meds, negativity would take over. Without his meds, he wasn't okay.
Jungkook picked up his crayons and resumed his position on his chair and closed his eyes for a second. He could hear Taehyung moving around in his room. It gave him comfort. He smiled and began coloring.
Everything is going to be okay.
Everything is going to be okay.
Everything is going to be okay.
How are you so sure?
Word Count: 1265
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So, this chapter is, as you can see, Jungkook fighting with his inner self. Being fired took a huge toll on him and as far as happiness goes in this story from here, it's gonna take a while for it to be picked back up.
Thank you for reading Naiteu Naiteu and I hope you'll vote and/or comment!