After the mega episode Jared had, Evan and Connor visited more often and stayed by his side, Connor started skipping and Evan quit his job, Jared protested the boys do these things but they refused to leave him alone. They made Jared talk to them about what happen and he feels and he let them, he was slowly becoming more dull and he didn't argue with his lovers anymore. He hated when people yells now, and he forgets more and more things. He was slipping away with the current and he didn't fight to stay on, they only things keeping him afloat was Evan and Connor. They couldn't lose him or let go, this wasn't the Titanic they needed him. Sadly one day, Jared slipped out of their hold and the current took him away from them. They weren't ready for it, they needed more time, by the waters of fate are cruel and Jared couldn't get more time.
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Evan and Connor were dragged out of their dorms thanks to Alana and Zoe. The girls claimed they needed to get out more, since after the mega episode they've lost sleep and didn't tell Jared that they stopped going to classes all together to stay by him. Not that he'd notice he's forgotten all about college and he sometimes forget who Alana and Zoe are, and on bad days he forgets who Connor and Evan are. It all shook them hard, but they tried to remain optimistic and soon Jared would get better. They were at a local McDonald's and tried to hang out and chat and just do things they used to do. It was sad and quiet but soon a lighter mood was blessed upon them and some jokes were cracked. And in the first time in months the girls saw the boys smile and joke around, they chuckled and snickered at the girls jokes but they never fully laughed. Maybe their hearts were too heavy, but the girls still tried. Evan wasn't going to lie, being out of his dorm and actually doing things and eating real food other than cereal or ramen felt so good, and he was sure Connor agreed. Connor was practically inhaling fries next to him and Evan, while he had been eating his fourth burger, the girls were happy to see them not sadly watching movies that are cheesy eating way to much snacks.
It started raining outside, it was nice to hear the rain hit the windows as the group chat happily. Evan finished up food finally filling up and just stared at the rain outside, it was getting worse. Evan hummed happily, being content with just relaxing at McDonald's with his friends and for once not worrying and just taking a break. Evan turned back to his friends once he overheard the weird ass conversation.
"I'm just saying, Johnathan Groff is pretty hot and I would smash 10/10. Well I would smash if I was a guy.."
"I though you were gay?? And dating Alana?"
"First of all, I'm bi, second of all, he's gay and I'm just saying if I was a guy I'd be so gay for him, like hook me up son. And he's on my three list but like if I was a gay guy"
Connor looked at her confused and Alana snickered. "You have a three list?" "Hell yes I do! Doesn't everybody??" Zoe countered back baffled and Evan was now fully paying attention. "I'm sorry, the hell is a three list?" Connor asked, and Evan nodded, also confused on the word. "You uncultured swines!! Let me educate you, a three list is like a list of three people you'd be allowed to cheat with but the thing is, you'd never meet a person on said list like celebrities. Mine our Brett Dier, Keiynan Lonsdale, and of course the queen Estelle." Zoe said simply and sipped on her soda.
Connor leaned back in his chair and just thought about the new information his sister had just told them, Evan just thought on why people have them, and concluded for lile celebrity crushes, while Alana was shaking her head. "Is one of them from that show you won't stop watching.. Virgin something?" Alana asked and Zoe looked offended. "Jane the virgin thank you very much, and Brett is amazing like he's too pure for this world?? Excuse me." Alana laughed and put her hands up in defence. "Hey I didn't say anything! I only asked a simple question!"
The conversation continued being light hearted and soft the sound of the rain hitting the building and windows sounded so nice and calm to them. For once no one was unhappy or stressing, the girls felt proud of themselves for making the boys feel better. Everything was great, until it wasn't, and it was sudden and kind of a blur. The conversation was going on with full on laughs when Connor's phone rang, he excused himself and got up and walked over to the bathrooms and answered it. He leaned against the wall as he heard a lady in a calm voice ask if she had the right number and was looking for a Connor Murphy, which he told her was true. At first he thought she was a nurse from the hospital telling him Jared was getting better or was requesting to see them, but that was not the case.
The lady was a nurse from the hospital but she was calling to inform them that Jared was unstable and failing and if he doesn't get better soon with immediate care he would pass away. It was like a sharp stab in Connors abdomen as he felt the wind get pushed out his lungs as he stopped breathing, and his heart just stopped. He could hear the lady asking if he was still there but it became muffled easily and he got pulled deep into his crushing thoughts. His worst fear came true and he couldn't handle it, it just couldn't be true, Connor really didn't want it to be true. He didn't want to believe all of the signs pointing to this outcome or all the facts that he wasn't getting better. Jared's health was like a graph chart, it would be fine and perfect then it plummet then exceed upwards a bit then plummet again and each time he just got worse and worse. Connor was gripping his phone hard as his tried to start breathing again, but it was uneven ragged breathes as he tried to wrap his head around the whirlwind of reality. His emotions swirled into a pit inside him, causing him to shake as he leaned against the wall for support and he didn't trust his legs. His vision was blurry probably from unshed tears that he didn't know formed, he wanted to disappear and just forget all the problems, he wish he and Evan could just somehow help Jared and he'd be fine and healthy. He felt so trapped and exposed, he felt to crowded, he wanted comfort yet he wanted to be alone.
Connor didn't hear his friends calling him, he didn't hear their footsteps, he didn't hear their frantic worries or shouts, he didn't hear or realize the commotion he caused. Evan, Alana and Zoe noticed that its been awhile since Connor came back and looked up to see him fighting panic attack next to the bathrooms, they rushed over and asked if he was okay and got no answer he just stood there, shaking and staring at nothing. Everyone in the McDonald's heard them and started staring, until Alana told them off and to mind their own business and went back to Connor. Connor didn't realize he was being shaked by Evan until he heard the smaller boy crying out to him. Evan didn't know why he was just staring at him, but he knew he was having a panic attack so he'd have to ground him. Once he got Connor's attention he told him some breathing exercises and to take deep breaths. Connor listened and calm down a bit, and all at once his sense flooded back to him, realizations hit him and terrible wave of emotion hit him as he broke down in a McDonald's. It scared his friends, they weren't used the tall boy to cry even if its a few tears but this wasn't a few tears. Connor actually broke down crying, he was shaking and sobbing as he held onto Evan and the wall for support. Evan hugged him and rubbed his back, he was worried for his boyfriend but before he'd ask about what happened he'd have to calm him down first. Connor hugged him back as his body shook violently and all his emotions he's kept hidden to stay strong for Jared and Evan and all the emotions he felt at the moment just poured out into his tears as he cried.
It took a few moments but soon Connor calmed down holding onto Evan. Zoe ushered the boys to the seats and sat down with Alana and kinda messed with her hands, she didn't know what to say. That was the first time she saw her brother cry at all, Connor wasn't good with emotions and usually just showed his sadness or frustration in anger. Evan rubbed Connors back once they sat down in the booth and then took a deep breath. "Con.. Are you okay now?" Connor weakly nodded and he kept staring down at the phone in his hands with a sickening sadness and burning hatred. "Alright, what happened szerelem?" Evan asked, he rarely spoke Hungarian but he liked to use nicknames in different languages. Connor took a couple deep breaths before sighing heavily. "I just got a call from the hospital.." Evan froze, dread pooling into his stomach like a venom. Zoe winced knowing that only meant something bad happened, Alana instantly turned knowing it was something to do with Jared and got scared quickly. "W-well..?" She said quietly not wanting to over step boundaries. Evan held his breath waiting for an answer, when it ever came to the hospital it came to Jared and whenever they called it's never good things.
"He's gotten worse.. S-so worse in fact th-that they believe h-he's going to die soon.. They said there.. Going to try s-some other th-things to help him but they don't th-think he'll make it.."
The whole table went silent, and the tension in the air intensified as everyone went through different emotions, Connor and Evan pulled each other into a tight hug sadly thinking over this as Evan started crying. Alana leaned back in her seat and took off her glasses and hid her face with her hands and she started crying, Zoe tried to comfort her as she started crying a bit too.
Zoe wasn't as close as the others but Jared was still her friend and kinda like annoying brother who she didn't want to lose. It hurt that he might not be around anymore with his corny jokes and stupid memes. She always felt bad that her brother and closest friend would lose their boyfriend, and that her girlfriend would lose her best friend. She felt bad and horrible, like disconnected from the grieving, she felt sad and bad. It hurt that the short boy wasn't going to be around much, she really hoped he'd stay around.
Alana leaned into Zoe as she cried, she knew Jared since she was 14 and it was like losing her brother. He was the one who accidentally got her into anime and manga, and then teased her for it even if he secretly liked it but not as much. He was the one who helped her out with her sexuality when she was super confused on how attractive girls were to her. She let him stay at her place whenever his parents fought or his dad got abusive. She helped him learn piano when he showed his interests in classical music. She started crying harder as she thought of things they couldn't do anymore if she lost her brother. No more just late night calls, no talking about which celebs are gay or straight, no more chick flicks with ice cream and spice girls, no more Jazz concerts and podcasts, no more just hanging out at each others dorms and drawing or just being friends. He wouldn't be there anymore, it really hurt when he started forgetting all the things they did but him just... Dying is horrible.. Alana felt sadness just horrible sadness wash over her, she wasn't angry at anything, she was just so sad, she hugged Zoe, holding onto her.
Connor felt overwhelmed, he hugged Evan tightly as they silently cried for their dying lover. He just wanted everything be okay and just for the short boy the ran into their lives to be okay. He felt overwhelming sadness and anger and frustration, he hated that he couldn't help him, he hated how terrible he felt, he hated how much pain Jared was in, he hated the hospital for not trying hard enough, he hated Jared getting sick, he hated being so helpless in the situation. He wished he could be of use, like he could just make everything better. It was hard, he knew he couldn't do anything but he wanted to help in some way in every fiber of his being. He hated how cruel life was, sure Jared was an ass at times but he didn't deserve this, no one deserves this. Connor wanted everything to go back to being okay, before he got sick just one more say at the beach or in their dorms.
Evan was upset, he was anxious as sadness washed over him and pain. It really hurts when the sudden reality that someone you love so much can just be ripped away from you. No matter how much Connor and Evan held on its like Jared was slipping through their finger tips. Evan just wanted to pretend it was all okay and that Jared was never sick and everything was okay and everyone was okay. And everyone would be happy and everyone would want that, something so nice and happy, all five of them just hanging out and saying jokes and eating ice cream going to the Beach and hang out. Even wanted to pretend he was dying, he really really wanted to. He didn't want to face reality, he hated reality, it reminded him of how much life just sucks. At first he didn't believe it, he didn't want to believe it, he wanted to believe Jared would get better. He thought it was fake that he wasn't getting worse and some horrible prank was happening or he'd wake up for a sick nightmare. But deep down he knew it was true and it was so hard for him to cope with. He can't deal with losing him or Connor.
The table of young adults was sadden with their different griefs, the next day the all visited him and they all knew it was coming, Jared wasn't Jared anymore.. Connor and Evan could barely look at him without crying. He was paler than the last time, thinner than Connor and looked frail and fragile, he had bruises from holding onto the rails to hard after throwing up. He had dark rings under his eyes that sunk into his skull, his hair was no longer tameable and his heart rate was lower than it should he, he would throw up stomach acid now not keeping his food down and if he wasn't throwing up blood it was coming out of his nose in painful nosebleeds. When Jared acted like himself, he just seemed so numb and he had no hope for himself. On his pale body it was easy to see his veins or his lips tainted with his own blood. His hope was gone, his eyes were dull and he was practically dying inside and out.. He was a mess and so was Evan and Connor seeing him like that left bitter tastes in their mouths and a heavy feeling in their hearts.
They did their normal routine, French songs and ukulele strums and warm blankets except a lot of tears and understanding. They didn't know if it was the last time they'd sing to their boyfriend, or if it was his last time hearing them sing to him. It was beautiful and painfully sad, so much raw emotion was poured into every note and strum as they made sure it was the best goodbye if he did leave them abruptly. Connor and Evan played Formidable for him, Connor's voice kept cracking as he tried not to cry and Evan messed up slightly on some notes because his tears blinded his vision a bit. Once it was over the silently cried and kissed Jared on the forehead telling him that they loved him and reluctantly left, as they made it to Evan's dorm they sighed in defeat as they looked at the small messy dorm
The boys crawled into bed around 2:30 am after binge watching all of their nature documentaries as cuddled up together. It felt so wrong without Jared but they needed to stay strong and they needed each other. As they finally got some hope and happiness and were about to sleep.
Then it happened.
Then,
Connor's phone rang.