(hey loves it's ur girl kadie coming @ u with all the sappy stuff you could ask for. i love you all and wish you the best of luck w your love lives: )))))) )
.y/n p.ov.
i sigh deeply as i put the last pair of jeans in my bag checking the time on my phone screen. i take a deep breath and square my shoulders throwing my bag on my back smiling as it rests comfortably between my shoulder blades. i walk down the stairs smiling at my parents who fell asleep on the couch last night. i shake my moms shoulder, " my class trips all this weekend, we're leaving today."
she smiles softly at me and pats my face, " have fun sweetheart,"
she rolls over yawning patting my dad actually no mildly slapping my dads cheek, "honey say goodbye to y/n."
my dad cracks an eye open and looks at me and grins, "have fun baby, make sure to mind your manners."
i roll my eyes a smile on my face, as i walk out the door, "i love you guys."
i hear a sleepy chorus of i love you too's as i walk out of the door and hop in my car.
i throw my bag in the passenger seat and plug my phone into the aux cord. i put my songs on shuffle and immediately start belting real with my idol, nf. i back out of my driveway speakers all the way up windows down dancing and singing along not paying attention. i look to my right screaming along with the first verse, "Somebody get the body bags, working with beats and
Put the MC's in 'em, season 'em, put 'em on a beat with me, then I'm eating 'em
Get away from the table, you rappers ain't hungry enough, you rappers ain't hungry like ah" i smile looking to my left, my face heats up immediately, i had forgotten the stop sign was next to c/n's house. he was staring at me a huge grin on his face, i turned the music down to apologize but before i could he started singing along which shocked me, " i threw my car in park and paused the song,
"you know nf?!" i basically screamed
he grinned again causing my heart to melt, "of course i do, he's fantastic"
before i could respond he spoke again, "ill see you on the bus, don't worry i won't tell anyone about your amazing singing skills."
i grin, "oh thank you so much i just wanna stay humble and don't want anyone to like me because of my amazing one of a kind voice, you're a life saver."
he shakes he head hopping in his car.
i smile at my steering wheel before pressing play screaming along again, and driving the same mind numbing drive to school.
.c/n's p.o.v.
i threw the last pair of khakis in my bag before running down the stairs and slipping my feet into my black vans. i kiss my mom on the cheek and pat my dad on the shoulder telling them both i love them before running out to my car, i put my bag in the back seat and was about to get in my car when i heard super loud bass coming down the street, i look at the car stopped at the stop sign, and my heart quickens and my breath catches, it's y/n.
she was screaming real by nf windows down dancing like a maniac. a huge grin covered my face, she knew nf. she looked to her right and i froze when she looked to her right and saw me. her face was immediately covered in a light blush which made me extremely happy. she reached over to turn it down and knowing her to probably apologize, i quickly started singing and she grinned.
my heart stopped god she was beautiful. she paused the song and stuck her head out of the window, "you know nf?!" she questioned
i smiled,"of course, he's fantastic."
before she could respond i spoke again, "ill see you on the bus, don't worry i won't tell anyone about your amazing singing skills."
she grins, "oh thank you so much i just wanna stay humble and don't want anyone to like me because of my amazing one of a kind voice, you're a life saver."
i shake my head and get in my car, i can't believe her, she's absolutely perfect in everyway. my heart soars as i see her smile at her steering wheel in my rearview, she pulls away and i collect myself before pulling out of the driveway, completely ready to spend some more time with y/n.
.y/n's p.o.v.
*im skipping the bus ride because it's boring oops*
we arrived at a very beautiful camp site and i knew this was going to be a good weekend.
i hopped off the bus and took one of my earbuds out to smile at y/f/n, "this is stUNNING."
she laughed at me, " i can see the art gears spinning in your head."
i chuckled, "you're so right, i brought all my art supplies."
after an incredibly boring speech from our teachers they let us go trusting us to take care of ourselves for the weekend. The teachers headed off to their cabins and me and y/f/n headed to ours to unpack.
we walked around inside amazed at how beautiful it was inside, it had a massive comfy couch and two huge matching chairs, the rooms were beautiful and i felt at home.
me and y/f/n unpacked and discussed plans for dinner that night me finally winning her over to make spaghetti.
after we layed on the couch for a minute we decided to head down to the lake. y/f/n threw on a teal and white striped bikini with high waisted bottoms and a see through cover up. i however was wear a matching bikini in black and white under a massive sweater.
she shook her head at me and saw the anxiety on my face. she walked over and gave me a hug kissing my cheek, "don't worry honey you're beautiful, you know i won't push you to swim and if anyone does ill hit them with a frying pan."
i smiled widely at her envious of her kind heart and beauty, "thank you so much i love you."
she ironically made a heart with her hands and grabbed three bottles of water from the fridge, one for her and two for me, just how we like it.
i grabbed my art bag that was packed with a mini easel, two canvases, watercolors, acrylics, my sketchbook, and ebony pencils oh and i can't forget my prized possession my beautiful baby child camera that i bought with my own money.
i slipped it on my shoulders and we head out of the door laughing as we went, genuine happiness spreading through my heart.
we walk down the path to the lake occasionally stopping to take pictures and to do a small photo shoot of y/f/n because holy crAp she looked so good. we rounded the bend and saw the lake. it had three different levels of cliffs a water fall and lots of natural seating on the bank. i smiled at y/f/n as she ripped off her cover up and ran into the water being dramatic and extra.
i shook my head scanning the area for the perfect drawing spot. and finally i found the perfect one. there was a tree growing along side the bank that had a natural chair grown into it and the camp site people had put a table in front of it. i walked over to it and sat down scanning the people in the lake for, as much as it pains me to admit, c/n.
as soon as i saw him a wave of anxiety and heartache passed over me, not to mention admiration. i can't lie the boy is beautiful.
he had sculpted shoulders and prominent collar bones, ear length fluffy c/h/c hair with waves in the front, long eyes lashes and stunning, c/e/c eyes, and freckles dotting his cheeks and shoulders. he was laughing with his friends one of which had an obvious crush on y/f/n thankfully she liked him too. they were flirting hard. i smiled at them and crossed my legs pulling my bag off my shoulders. i rooted around for a moment and pulled out the easel and some acrylic paints.
i pulled out the second water bottle chugged half of it and pulled out some scissors cut the top off and put my brushes in it. as an avid artist ive learned all the tricks of painting ANYWHERE.
i turned on my spotify and smiled as youngblood by noah kahan came on. i hummed along with the tune and began sketching some pine trees and the shore line out in pencil. i pulled out a pallet and put three shades of green brown yellow and blue on it and got to work.
i was intently mixing shades and slowly started applying them paying close attention to the trees before me and my own personal style. i lean over to wash my brushes and look out in the lake. i catch y/f/n's eye and she grins at me a light sunburn on her cheeks, i wave at her and she waves at me. c/n and his friends look in my direction and c/n smiles and waves as well. i feel my cheeks heat up and i wave back quickly. i see him turn to y/f/n and say something she shrugs her shoulders and turns back to y/f/c/n as c/n starts walking over to me, before she's turned all the way around y/f/n winks at me.
my heart starts racing but i focus on my music and my painting. i hum along with young volcanoes adding some dark green to the needles of the biggest tree. i turn my head to the side viewing my work furrowing my brows in unhappiness. i scowl cleaning my smallest brush and dipping it in a brown green shade. i add that over the dark green i just put down and smiled widely as it fixed the issue. i sing,"we will teach you how to make boys next door, out of assholes." as i hear a twig snap.
i turn my face to the right and see c/n walking up the hill to where im seated. he squints in the sun and i see all the water dripping on his shoulders and from his hair, i force myself to rip away from staring while thinking of all the colors i would need to paint him.
he walks up and sits right next to me.
"hey, y/n!" he says with a grin
i look at him with a raised brow, "hi?" i say back internally cursing myself for questioning him for speaking to me.
i grab my brush and start on the water recalling all the knowledge i received from watching bob ross at three a.m.
he scoots closer to me leaning across my frame to peer at the canvas. i sharply intake a breath and chuckled the anxiety out, "uh what are you doing?"
he retracted and leaned against the tree putting his hands up in mock surrender, "i was just admiring the artwork, that's crazy good by the way."
i smiled, "thank you thank you, i was so pumped for this trip because i knew there would be amazing inspiration."
he looked at me and the left side of his mouth whirled up in a smile, "i was wondering if you wanted to come join us in the lake, you're wearing a sweater you must be dying."
i look at him eyes wide hand frozen inches from the canvas brush in hand. i shake my head many many times before i can even speak, "oh no, no no no no no."
he cocks his head to the right confusion and the slightest bit of concern lacing his features. "may i ask why?"
i sigh, " you can ask, but for now i wanna just leave it as a i don't want to swim vague kind of thing."
he shakes his head, "im sorry but i can't just leave it at this now. contrary to what you probably think i know you very well and now you've given it away that something serious is wrong."
i shake my head in disbelief, "it's nothing" i curse myself because even i could hear the tears in my voice.
anger flashes across his face and he puts a hand on my thigh, "if it involves your emotions it's NEVER nothing."
i don't even have the time to mask my surprise , " okay fine if you really want to know, but you have to promise not to be mad at me"
i rest my head on my knees and he spoke, "i can't promise that, but i do promise to listen."
something about him made me feel safe enough to tell him.
"okay c/n, what im about to tell you is something only y/f/n knows and i don't want you to look at me differently. please save all comments for the end because i don't think i can handle them. so awhile ago probably two years or so i gained weight, not just on my stomach, but on my legs, hips and face. ever since then ive been crippled with anxiety about people seeing me or how disgusting my body has become. i hate swimming because i never look as good as the other girls and there are certain people that i never ever want to see my body. i am completely intimidated and disgusted by myself and i don't want to make anyone dislike me. so id rather stay here on my own not embarrassing myself or y/f/n."
*pov skip hehehehe*
.c/n p.o.v.
i saw y/n and y/f/n walking down to the river. id be lying if i said i didn't like what i saw. i choked up seeing y/n's bare legs almost all the way up to her hips, the rest of frame drowned in a sweater. i found it odd but was too busy staring to care. y/f/n came running into the water and i winked at y/c/f/n who obviously had a giant crush on her. i furrowed my brows as y/n didn't join her best friend. i watched her scan the area and finally smile that gorgeous smile walking over to this tree with a table in front of it. i watched her as she smiled at her friend and mine and my mind was filled with thoughts of me and her.
she pulled out art supplies and my heart soared i chuckled as i watched her turn a water bottle into a brush cup and set to work. i forced myself to stop paying attention to her until i saw y/f/n waving out of my peripheral and y/n smiling and waving st her. i instinctively waved at her as well and my heart skipped as she became flustered and waved back.
i looked at y/f/n and spoke, "hey y/f/n do you think y/n would mind if i went and talked to her."
she grinned and shrugged, which i took as encouragement.
i walked up to her and admired her focused face, it was beautiful to see. a twig snapped under my foot and she looked at me.
i walk up to her and sit down smiling widely as i saw her check me out, but it wasn't in a degrading way, it was in a beautiful way and it was addicting.
"hey, y/n!" i say with a grin
she looks at me with a raised "hi?" she says like a question
i scoot closer to her, leaning across her frame smiling at her sharp inhale, i affect her just as much as she affects me, she spoke, "uh what are you doing?"
i retracted leaning against the tree raising my hands in surrender, "i was just admiring the artwork, that's crazy good by the way."
she smiled, "thank you thank you, i was so pumped for this trip because i knew there would be amazing inspiration."
i looked her a smile on the left side of my lips, "i was wondering if you wanted to come join us in the lake, you're wearing a sweater you must be dying."
she looked at me brush frozen in hand eyes wide as the moon , "oh no, no no no no no."
i cock my head to the right confusion and the slightest bit of concern lacing my features. "may i ask why?"
she sighs , " you can ask, but for now i wanna just leave it as a i don't want to swim vague kind of thing."
i shake my head way beyond concerned at this point , "im sorry but i can't just leave it at this now. contrary to what you probably think i know you very well and now you've given it away that something serious is wrong."
she shakes her head, "it's nothing." i can hear the pain in her voice.
anger flashes across my face and through my heart as i rest a shaking hand on her thigh, "if it involves your emotions it's NEVER nothing."
she doesn't even try to mask her surprise , " okay fine if you really want to know, but you have to promise not to be mad at me"
she rests her head on her knees as my heart races i know i can't promise and i don't want to break any promise to her, "i can't promise that, but i do promise to listen."
"okay c/n, what im about to tell you is something only y/f/n knows and i don't want you to look at me differently. please save all comments for the end because i don't think i can handle them. so awhile ago probably two years or so i gained weight, not just on my stomach, but on my legs, hips and face. ever since then ive been crippled with anxiety about people seeing me or how disgusting my body has become. i hate swimming because i never look as good as the other girls and there are certain people that i never ever want to see my body. i am completely intimidated and disgusted by myself and i don't want to make anyone dislike me. so id rather stay here on my own not embarrassing myself or y/f/n."
my heart breaks at her words there is so many emotions running through me and so many thoughts, but i only choose o act on one, she needs to feel beautiful and wanted even if that means putting my heart on the line.
"y/n love, you are absolutely wrong. im not going o tell you i didn't notice when you gained some weight because i did. but not because i was disgusted. because i was enthralled. i couldn't grasp how one human could be so so beautiful and perfect and i can't lie have such an amazing body." i felt my cheeks match the heat i could see on her face but made myself continue, " when you walked down today i couldn't breathe i was so stunned by you. seeing just your legs makes me go crazy because every single part of you is beautiful and attractive and i can't help but want to make you mine. so i can make you feel as beautiful as you are, so i can hold you, and be able to stare at you all i want. i want to get to know all of you y/n, know every freckle and where they are, kiss your wounds and heal your mentality. i want to be yours and i want there to be an us. i want you to paint with me, paint me, draw me, just be with me. because i sure as hell would never take having such a powerful girl to call mine."
i stare into her eyes and she lets tears fall down her face. she doesn't respond and instead reaches for her sketchbook, she flips to a page, and begins speaking in a small voice, "c/n, i hope you don't mind me saying but i think you're beautiful. you're the prettiest boy ive ever seen and ive liked you for ages. ive memorized your facial features and the feeling i get when i see you. i would be lying if i said i didn't stare at you while you were swimming. you are the certain people that i don't want to see my body because i don't want to scare you away. but i decided i was going to tell you i liked you this weekend, and i made art to tell you because it's the only voice that never fails me."
she flipped the sketchbook and my jaw dropped. she had drawn me in ebony pencil, down to every detail. the freckles that i hated on my cheeks and shoulders, the dimple on y left cheek and the slight gap between my two front teeth. there was a watercolor sunset behind me and across the bottom in cursive, it said simply, "like every sunset i see you are one of a kind and i can't help but tell you how much i like you for it."
she looked nervous and stared at me expectantly. i searched her eyes and saw hers flit down to my lips. she bit down on hers and my heart exploded. i leaned down and kissed her deeply, digging my fingers into the fabric over her hips, she ran her hands through my hair lightly pulling on the roots. i inhaled sharply, moving to kiss along her jaw, i came back to her lips kissing her again, it was addicting, the warmth coming off of her how safe she felt and how stunning she was was overwhelming. i slid on hand doe to her knee and cupped her face with the other, i relished in the small gasp that left her when i squeezed her knee, before pulling away and kissing her temple. she stared at me and grinned.
she grabbed my hand and laced her fingers through mine, i stared at our hands welcoming the feeling of belonging.
she leaned on my shoulder and brought our intertwined hands up and kissed my knuckle. she look up at me and spoke softly, resting her hand on my cheek, "mine?" she spoke as a question.
my heart soared and i kissed behind her ear whispering against her skin, "yours."
*time skip and pov skip*
.y/n p.o.v.
i walked out to c/n's car for the first time since the trip. i smiled shyly as we were finally going on our real first date.
he smiled at me as i got in the car.
i leaned over and kissed his dimple, then relaxing back in my seat. he pouts and i roll my eyes leaning back over and kissing his lips, i could forever but there was an italian restaurant waiting.
he grinned at me and i hurried and grabbed the aux cord plugging my phone in and playing nf. we both started screaming along and i stopped momentarily when i saw the drawing i drew of him pinned up on the dashboard. i grabbed his hand lightly humming along resting our clasped hands on my leg. i stared at him and then at our hands. heart soaring. i was beyond happy, this was absolutely ours.