I dream about walking along the pebble beach at Brighton, and in my dream I'm walking alongside my mum. We wander down to the water, and let it lap at our toes. It's comforting, having Mum beside me again. And then Mum goes further into the water, and I know that I can't follow her. She wades deeper and starts to swim. I watch her drift away, and I want to call out to her, but in my dream I can't speak. I can't do anything but watch.
The next morning, as Kitty and I are setting up in the cafe, I tell her about my dream.
'Jane, maybe your dad's right,' Kitty says. 'Maybe you should see a therapist again. It hasn't been so long since your mum died, and I know you've got a lot of stuff to work through.'
'But I've been fine,' I say. 'I haven't had a panic attack in months, and my anxiety has really gone down. It was just a weird dream. I'm pretty used to having weird dreams.'
Kitty opens up a fresh bag of coffee beans, and we both take a moment to appreciate the smell, before she pours them into the coffee grinder.
'So tell me more about the Joseph and Drew situation,' Kitty says. 'How did it all go down?'
'It was actually fine,' I say. 'I was worried they were going to have a fight right there, but Drew isn't that kind of guy.'
'And what would they fight for, anyway?' Kitty says.
'It's always peace and love with you, isn't it?' I mock her cheekily.
She spins in her big flowy skirt and makes a peace sign with her heavily-ringed fingers.
'So eventually Drew and Rachel left, and I was kinda just partying with Kasey and Abby, and it was a bit more chill after that. And I don't know, I got really drunk, and I went home with Joe.'
'You went home with Joseph?' Kitty says, exasperated.
'Yeah,' I say. 'I know, I know. I was drunk, and he was just there!'
'Doll, you can't get with guys just because they're there,' she says.
'Says you, and Charlotte, and everyone in this flat who seems to hook up with everyone else because we're always there,' I say, flinging a hand out to convey my point.
'Yes, well, that's stopped now,' Kitty says. Her cheeks go red.
'Yeah, I think it's for the best,' I tell her. 'Can you imagine if any of us dated, and then broke up?'
'Anyway. Tell me about Joseph. How was it?' Kitty asks.
'Well, it was just nice to be with someone for a night,' I tell her honestly. 'I don't know, I knew in the moment that it's not a smart decision, but it was just nice to be in his arms and pretend that everything's fine.'
'Why does he even trust you?' Kitty asks.
'Of course he doesn't trust me,' I say. 'He doesn't want a relationship with me. He just wanted a hook up. And because we've done it all before, it didn't feel awkward. It was kinda nice.'
'Jane,' Kitty says. 'Even if you didn't date this guy for months, while keeping your real boyfriend hidden, he's still not a great catch.'
'What's wrong with him?' I say, offended.
Kitty gives me a look. 'Isn't he in a band?'
'What's wrong with that? Aren't you dating that DJ?'
'Not anymore,' Kitty says. 'He basically lives nocturnally. It was like dating someone who lived in a different timezone. Nightmare.'
'Aw, I'm sorry, I didn't realise,' I say.
'It's okay,' Kitty says. 'I never really talk about the guys I'm dating.'
'Well you can talk to me,' I say. 'I am your sister.'
'As you keep reminding me,' Kitty says. 'Can you unlock the door? We should have opened five minutes ago.'
'Don't tell Ed,' I say with a laugh, as I go to the front door to open it.
Kitty and I get into the swing of making coffees and bagging croissants for the morning crowd. When there's a dip in the customers I head up into the back of the store to make sure the few people wandering through the shelves can find everything they're looking for. As I'm making my way back down the steps that divide the bookshelves from the front of the store, I see an old lady taking her seat in the armchair by the window.
'Is that Mrs Dubose?' I whisper to Kitty.
Kitty glances up from the coffee machine, over towards the lady by the window, and nods.
The lady has what looks to be very long grey hair, wrapped up into a neat bun on her head. Even though it's summer, she's wearing a conservative cardigan and skirt combination. Sure enough, she's reading Madame Bovary.
'Aw, she's adorable,' I say. 'Maybe we can adopt her as the Brew Books grandmother.'
'You better go and take her her tea,' Kitty says, nodding towards a pretty teacup that's brewing.
I take over the tea and saucer and place it on the little table by the lady's chair.
'There's your tea,' I say. 'Enjoy your book.'
'Thank you, my love,' the lady says, and I'm surprised to hear a thick Northern accent. I laugh about it when I get back to the counter with Kitty.
'Yeah, turns out Mrs Dubose is proper Manchester,' Kitty says, trying and failing to put on a Northern accent.
'Oh god, don't, she'll hear us,' I whisper.
Kitty grabs her phone from behind the counter. 'I'm texting Harper,' she tells me. 'He loves Mrs Dubose.'
It takes Harper about ten minutes from receiving Kitty's text to arriving in the bookstore. He's wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans, and his dark hair is tied in a knot at the back of his head. He slips behind the counter with us as if he's supposed to be working, and then places his elbows on the counter and his chin in his hands, and looks over at Mrs Dubose adoringly.
'You have a crush, don't you?' I say cheekily.
'Not just a crush, Jane,' Harper says, putting on a serious face. 'I'm in love.'
• Author's Note •
Hey lovelies! I have a question for you!
Who is your favourite fictional character? (Check the comments to find out mine!)
xx Elle