Ellen picked me up at home on Monday morning. Yesterday we texted a bit about the party, but we saved the juicy stuff for when we saw each other in person. I could tell as soon as I got on her car that she was buzzed on more than just caffeine. She handed me a cup of blond espresso latte right before bursting into a ball of energy.
"Oh my God, I was so anxious to tell you every little detail."
I fastened my seatbelt and sank into my seat. After my somewhat of an emotional breakdown in her room Saturday eve, I didn't want to talk about anything that wasn't school, family or extra curricular activities. No boys, no parties. I brought the steaming cup to my nose, seeking comfort because I knew precisely that we'd just talked about boys in the party.
"Okay, so guess who I hooked up with?"
Thankfully I wasn't drinking my coffee then, because I was sure it'd have gone up my nose and a burn like that would be no walk in the park. I turned to her, incredulous compared to her smug face.
"Chris?" I asked.
She shook her head. "Nope. Casey Marchand."
"The football team quarterback?" I whistled and I swore I'd never seen her with such a wide shit-eating grin. "That's big leagues."
"And Chris saw." This time she grimaced. "But I still managed to get him alone afterwards and we chatted. It was great, he's so dreamy."
We reached a red light and she stopped the car, looking at it as though she could see Chris' face in the red light. I twisted on the seat to face her better. "But backtrack a little, how was it that you ended up making out with Casey?"
She shrugged and ran her hands around the steering wheel. "It was a bet. Kim and the other girls dared me to kiss a hot jock and Casey was nearby."
"But if Chris saw you it means he was nearby too, why didn't you grab him?" I sometimes couldn't understand her whims. It sounded like it'd have been a great opportunity and instead she grabbed some other rando. "He fits the definition of a hot jock to a T and you'd have had the perfect excuse."
"I know." She groaned and banged her forehead against the steering wheel. The light turned green and we advanced. "But I just didn't see him until the kiss was over and, ugh, in any case it was better that way. Casey was safe because I don't give two hoots about him, but if I'd grabbed Chris... I think everybody would have seen the little red hearts falling off in the background."
"Don't forget the red roses."
She gave me a light smack, but smirked. "But guess what?"
"What?"
"I did tell Chris when we chatted that if I'd seen him when I got dared I'd have kissed him instead."
I gasped and jumped a little, making hot coffee spill onto my hand. I licked it quickly. It hurt a ton but I still said, "No way! What did he say?"
"Well, he actually no way'ed me too." Her laughter was parts embarrassed and parts amused. She shrugged. There was some pink tinging her cheeks. "But at least I had the courage to take my shot, you know? I think if it weren't for Gigi's advice I'd never have said that."
I nodded. "And with some liquid courage, no doubt."
Our school was within sight now, and there was a pause in the conversation. I examined the red shape of the coffee spill on my hand. It was probably going to be tender for the rest of the day. Just like my mood yesterday, yikes.
"Gigi's really cool by the way. You should hang out with her for a bit."
"I'll pass," I said. "I'm having trouble wrapping my head around someone being called Gigi. Besides, she and her squad are just vicious."
"They're not that bad," Ellen said. "They're just different."
My eyebrows went up. "Oh, so now we'll describe their queen bee Jessica Ashford as different?"
"No, she's straight up a player. Plays with boys, breaks their hearts and breaks the girls who even breathe close to her prey." She gave me a side glance as she pulled into the school's parking lot. "How are you feeling by the way? About her and Santiago."
I looked out the window and saw a group of freshmen walking to the front of the building together, laughing about something. A lot of them had braces and pimples. Their backpacks were too big for their frames and they looked like they didn't have a care in the world. I sighed. I didn't treasure that feeling as much as I should have. I've always been moaning and complaining about wanting to play with the Mirandas, and life being unfair for not letting me. That was the year when things started to change for me. Seb had already been in the team for a year, JV but subbing in quite a few official games. Santi signed up for the team to follow his brother with a spark that his eyes lost. And I signed up for the school newspaper in hopes of reporting on the baseball games alone.
Seb had his first real girlfriend that year. A junior. Santi and I were stunned. We felt betrayed that he'd cut our hanging out time even shorter just to go make out with some girl. That was exactly the way I felt about Santiago and Jessica Ashford now.
"I'm fine," I said after she parked the car and we got out. I hoisted my backpack on my shoulder and sipped from the coffee. "Why wouldn't I be?"
Ellen lifted one eyebrow but mercifully let it go. We found Anthony in the hallway and joined him for a bit before it was time to go to our classes. I didn't see Chris or Santi until I stepped into chem lab. Mrs. Fuentes tried to avoid distractions more than any other teacher I had. Her policy was for students to sit with a different partner every class; that way no one had a chance to always sit with their pals or even make friends with other class mates. It was always someone new.
And today I got Jessica Ashford.
Later I'd give myself credits for not having screamed are you shitting me? in front of the entire class.
She had the nerve to smile at me. Same little slimy smile she gave me when she wiped her lips, stepping out of the closet she'd been sucking faces with Santiago in. I felt a shudder rack my spine. How could boys not feel the fakeness radiating off of that smile?
This was not AP chemistry and the experiment Mrs. Fuentes walked us through was a simple one. I tried my best to ignore Jessica but it was hard when she kept asking me to pass her things or see this and that. It was like she was actually trying to learn. And she almost fooled me for a moment, but then Mrs. Fuentes had to step out of the classroom for a minute and Jessica turned to me with the same self-satisfied smile of always.
"It must have been hard to be best friends with both Miranda brothers, huh?"
I looked up from putting my highlighter in my backpack. "Excuse me?"
She waved a hand. "Well, one girl, two hot brothers... it doesn't take a genius to know what could've happened."
I snorted a weird laugh. Weird only to my ears, I guess, being the only person who knew it was hiding a pretty hefty dose of murderous intent. "It wasn't and still isn't weird at all. We're like family."
Jessica flipped the long, gorgeous tresses of her brown hair back with a smile. "If you're like family I guess it doesn't bother you if I date Santiago, then. I mean, if it did it'd be like incest, right?"
I could have slapped her right then and there.
My head turned around like being pulled by an invisible string, and I saw Santi staring at us from the back of the class. His green eyes met mine. He pointed at Jessica with his lips, the way his family does, and raised his eyebrows as if to ask what was going on. I smiled sweetly and turned back to her.
"Of course I don't mind, he's a big boy and can make his own mistakes." I tried to imitate Anthony's puppy dog eyes. "But I'll sure watch out for him and catch him when he falls, you know?"
"Of course."
The witch ignored me for the rest of the lesson, which was just as well. I felt tainted just having exchanged that many words with her. Her smug-ass smile made me feel as though she knew something I didn't. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. Clearly boys got stuck in how fucking gorgeous she was, perfect smile, plump lips, thin nose and blue cat eyes that almost rawr when she set them on someone. She'd stolen friends' boyfriends, humiliated countless girls for their appearance and taste, all with that sweet turn of her lips.
She'd been the only girl to break Sebastian's heart.
That time when they'd dated, she'd given me a wider berth. She'd known, just as now, that I was the Mirandas' best friend. But it hadn't seemed to matter back then. Why did it fucking matter to her now?
I spent the rest of the day in a foul mood. Which was so not how I wanted to feel for my first official practice with the team.
My dad put a hand on my back and brought me forward. "By popular demand, the Principal and I have agreed to Peyton acting as my assistant coach this year. Please make her feel welcome." Most of the 20 boys in front of us clapped with little enthusiasm, except for my crew. Their hollering was more embarrassing than supportive. "A few ground rules," my dad said, having finally quieted them down. "Peyton is not a water girl, or a towel girl. She is a coach. She'll be treated with respect and paid attention to, just as if it were me. She is also not to be seen as a girl."
I gasped. "Dad!"
Anthony raised his hand and my dad allowed him to speak. "Should we treat her as a squirrel, sir?"
My dad rolled his eyes. "Very funny, Mr. Pierini. What I mean by that is that dating with the assistant coach is off bounds for each and every one of you." He raised his hands in this magnanimous-looking gesture that always came across as super condescending. I normally loved seeing him apply it on anybody but me, but this time I felt personally attacked. "See, just as if it were me— and you definitely don't want to take me to homecoming."
My jaw dropped. "Dad, you're kidding."
He clapped once. "Alright everybody, lets get onto positions. We're playing defense."
The team scrambled away and I planted myself in front of my dad. I felt my cheeks burn and it wasn't because of the sun.
"You started off well and then went to the crapper. What the hell was that?"
"Honey bunny, you may see me as a villain now, but I'm just making sure that we follow the only condition Mr. Jones put on this arrangement. Focus on the work you want to do, not on the boys."
He ran away, blowing the whistle. I was glad he did, because I'd just about been ready to explode on him. Somehow I'd thought the toughest part would be to convince him to be his assistant coach, but I was starting to realize that the hardest part was going to be working with him if he kept pulling crap like that. I was so mad that tears had started streaming down my eyes. What had started as a shitty day turned even shittier. I wiped my face before anybody saw me and looked down at the brand new whistle my dad had got me over the weekend, to celebrate the occasion. Yesterday we'd talked about the week's training and what I was going to do, but he'd carefully omitted the fact that he'd planned such a lousy introduction.
I blew the fucking whistle and ran off to the diamond, now eager to vent my anger on my unsuspecting victims. They thought it'd be a normal defense practice, but what they didn't know was that I'd spend the next two hours randomly telling them to drop and give me twenty until none of them were able to lift their hands to catch a ball anymore.
Torturing others would be my only consolation.