Rachel
"MILES!" I yelled from the shower.
"What?" he answered back, and I could tell he was inside his closet on the other side of the shower wall.
"Ooops, sorry, didn't realize you were right there. I need some more conditioner!" I said, shaking the bottle with over exaggerated strength.
"Hang on, I'll get it..."
A few seconds later, he opened the shower door and held out a bottle of the too-expensive product my stylist makes me use. "Aww, babe, you bought my special hair stuff?"
"Yeah," he said distractedly, his eyes traveling over my body.
I cocked my head to the side. "What?"
"What do you mean, 'what?'" he asked, pulling his shirt over his head.
I giggled. "You just got out of the shower, silly. We'll be late to the cookout at Luke's." Since his father had been in jail, Miles had started staying at his house again a few nights a week.
He slid out of his shorts and stepped into the shower. "They can wait," he murmured, closing the door behind him and pushing me gently against the wall.
***
An hour later, we were finally pulling up at Luke's house. Luckily, they had already started grilling without us, and we were able to slide onto the deck with no one really noticing.
Except Brooke.
"You were supposed to be here thirty minutes ago," she whispered as she handed me a Diet Coke.
"Yeah, well... we got a little distracted," I said, my eyes instinctively cutting to Miles, who stood next to Luke and Adam.
She laughed. "What else is new?"
"So? At least we can admit we love each other," I shot back.
Brooke crossed her arms. "Maybe we don't, Rachel. You ever thought of that?" she asked, taking a swig of her Dr. Pepper.
I pursed my lips and put my hand on my hip. "Really? You expect me to buy that?"
"I've slept with guys without being in love with them... shit, I've never even been in love," she said, pulling me to the empty side of the deck where no one could hear us. "I don't even know if I know what love is, Rachel."
I smiled. "You know how you can't wait to tell Luke when something exciting happens? Or you want him to be proud of you when you do something cool? Or when you just want to see him after a shitty day because you know he'll make everything okay again? Or when you look at him and you feel like everything is right in the world, even when it's a fucking disaster?"
She nodded, and there were tears in her eyes. "Yeah?"
"Brookie. That's love," I said, wiping a tear from her cheek with my knuckle.
She closed her eyes and smiled. "It is, isn't it?" I nodded and she opened her eyes suddenly. "Rach... what if he doesn't love me back?"
I laughed out loud. "That may be the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. And you once asked me if little people lived in the TV and performed the shows live."
"Hey!" she exclaimed. "I was six!"
"He loves you, Brooke. It's obvious."
She sighed deeply. "Well, okay, maybe he does. But seriously, Rachel; I hope you guys are using protection when you're getting it on every other hour."
"We are... it's not like we've got any diseases," I said, leaning against the railing.
"That's not what I'm talking about, doofus. You don't want to have a baby in the dorm, do you?"
"That's not going to happen, B."
"Good," she said as she walked over to help Jane with the plates, leaving me with my thoughts.
I furrowed my brow. We have used protection every time, right? I thought back, and almost dropped the bottle in my hand when I remembered the other night in the pool... and study hall two weeks ago.
Shit.
Miles
"Hey babe, you hungry?" I asked, touching Rachel's arm gently, holding a full plate in the other hand.
She jumped slightly and looked up at me and smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah, definitely." She took the plate from me gratefully and sat down at the table.
I looked at her curiously. "What's wrong, babe?"
"What? Nothing!" she said, too quickly.
I narrowed my eyes at her. "You're lying, but I'll get it out of you later," I said, kissing her cheek before going to get my plate.
***
When the party was coming to a close, I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk on the beach.
"Yeah, that sounds good," she agreed. "Can I borrow a jacket? It's a little chilly," she said, attempting to rub the rising goosebumps off her arms.
"Sure. Come on." I took her hand and led her inside, grabbing my windbreaker from the coat rack by the door.
She put it on and followed me to the Jeep, and I could tell something was on her mind. However, we stayed quiet all the way to the beach, and it wasn't until we were walking in the surf that I broached the subject again.
"Sweetheart, are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" I asked as I slipped my arm around her waist. She didn't say anything, and when I looked down at her, her face was pale. "Rachel, you're freaking me out."
"What would happen if I got pregnant?" she blurted.
I stopped in my tracks and pulled her in front of me. She looked up at me, her eyes stormy grey.
"What? Why would you ask that?"
"Brooke made a comment about using protection and I insisted that we had every time, but then I remembered the other night in the pool... and at school..." she whispered, and I could hardly hear her over the waves.
I didn't even know what to say, so I just stood there staring at her dumbly. "I – Shit, Rachel. We didn't, did we?" I asked, and I knew my reaction wasn't helpful.
"Oh God," she moaned, putting her face in her hands.
"Baby, come on," I said, getting my confidence back and pulling her hands off her face. "That was just two times out of.... however many. You're not going to get pregnant." I sounded surer than I felt, though.
"But what if I did?" she asked, her eyes searching mine. "What would we do? Would you leave me?"
I put my hands on her face and pulled her to me. "Don't ever ask me that again, Rachel Mae. I will never leave you – I've already told you that. If you got pregnant, we'd deal with it. It would be challenging, but we'd get through it together, babe."
She nodded, her body relaxing visibly. I kissed her lips gently. "Thank you," she whispered.
"You don't have to thank me... I've told you before – it's the pleasure of my life to love you," I murmured, kissing her forehead.
We started to walk again, and a few minutes later she spoke again. "Will you go with me to the doctor to get on birth control?"
"Of course," I said, draping my arm around her shoulders. "Call tomorrow and get an appointment."
"I will. I love you, Miles."
"I love you too," I responded, sweeping her into my arms and running into the gulf.
Luke
"Luke," Brooke whispered.
"What?"
We were washing dishes and my parents were in the next room.
"Want to come over? Katherine has to work tonight."
"Yeah, sounds good. Let's finish these and we can leave."
A few minutes later, we were on our way to her house. The night was chilly, but the breeze was perfect. We rode all the way to her house with all the windows down.
When we got there, Katherine was already gone.
She opened the door and locked it behind us. "What do you want to do?" she asked as we sat down on the couch.
"You really have to ask?" I teased, climbing on top of her and kissing her lips hard.
She kissed me back, but I could tell something was eating at her.
"What are you thinking about, B?" I asked, pushing her hair out of her eyes.
"Nothing – I –" she started, but then shook her head. "Nothing. Kiss me, Luke," she whispered, pulling me back to her.
She moaned against my lips and I felt my desire growing. But something was still wrong.
"Brooke," I gasped. "What's wrong?"
She sighed. "Luke... I need to tell you something... before we go any further here."
I furrowed my brow, confused. "Okay? I'm listening."
She closed her eyes and exhaled deeply, like what she was about to say was going to empty her lungs. "I... I love you, Luke," she whispered.
"You... you what?" I asked, unable to comprehend what I was hearing.
"Oh God," she groaned, pushing me off her and rolling off the couch.
"Wait, Brooke, stop!" I cried, grabbing her wrist.
"Just – just forget it, Luke... It's okay if you don't f–"
"Would you please shut up, Brooke?" I asked, grinning. "I love you too."
"Wha- you do?" she asked, sinking back onto the couch next to me.
"Of course I do, you dork," I said, pushing her back onto the couch. "Now, where were we?"
She grinned. "Right about.... here," she murmured, putting her hands on my collar and pulling me against her.