I crumpled up the note and wanted to toss it out the window, but I looked over to see Harry trudging down the front stairs to the car. He pressed his chin against the half open window, smudging it a bit with his hot breath.
“You stayed,” I said.
“I did.” He looked at me, his green eyes staring deep in my brown eyes.
“Why are you up? It’s nearly six in the morning.” My voice was soft and curious.
“I’ve been waiting up for you. I thought I heard car so I came to check to see if it was you.”
“Are Niall and Lizzy still here?” I wasn’t sure why I was still asking silly questions when I could go in and find all this out myself.
He nodded. “Your aunt had to give Lizzy a Xanax so she would calm down. She fell asleep about twenty minutes later on the couch before Niall moved them to the guestroom.”
I opened the car door; stopping when I realized the note was still in my hand. I shoved it into my pocket, hoping Harry hadn’t noticed. I didn’t feel like discussing it with him right now. I walked ahead of him into the house and listened for him to shut the door behind me. I didn’t feel like speaking about anything really and made my way up to my bedroom, his footsteps padding behind me. He shut the door after himself.
I sat down on the bed. He stood awkwardly by the door, hands in his pockets, waiting for my invitation. “Come lay down with me, please?”
“Of course.” He came over next to me and climbed into bed next to me, keeping his distance.
“Why are you being so weird?” I asked.
“I’m not being weird. I’m being respectful.”
“That’s not the Harry Styles I remember,” I said, sitting up. I glanced over at him lying peacefully next to me, his arms outstretched above him as he stretched. His white linen shirt lifted as he stretched, exposing his muscles and the trail of hair than began just above his belt buckle.
“I can be when I want to be. Like now.” He said, his eyes searching mine.
I crawled closer to him; bringing my knees on either side of him before straddling him. “What if I don’t want you to be?”
“Annaleise, I don’t think you should be –“
He didn’t have a chance to finish his sentence before I caught his arms in my hands and pushed my lips against his, kissing him demandingly. He tried to protest, but I kept up the force, slipping my tongue in between his lips to meet his own, which he wasn’t making very easy. I nipped his bottom lip, chuckling lightly to myself as I remembered first trying that trick on him.
I placed gentle kisses on his cheekbone and down to his neck. I pressed the tip of my tongue against his neck and heard him draw in a sharp breath. I pressed my hand over his mouth so he couldn’t protest before I began to softly kiss his neck before adding more pressure and eventually gently tugging lightly with my teeth.
Instantly, I was flipped over and he was on top of me, mirroring the same position I had just had him in. He searched my eyes once before, before replicating my exact movements. Kissing my lips, tracing kisses down my jawline before biting and kissing my neck.
I arched my body against him, desperate to feel him but he had my hands trapped above my head. When I felt him loosen his grip a little bit, I took advantage and managed to flip him over. He probably relented, but anyway. I slid his shirt up from his chest and admired the site of his defined body.
He took his shirt off at my command and helped me with my own. Unclasping my bra from behind my back, I shivered slightly when I felt his chilly hands come in contact with my breasts. His fingers instantly went for the nipple rings, exploring and flicking and watching them harden.
He lapped at one with his tongue, watching in amazement, as it got harder. He did the same to the other one. I climbed back on top of him and kissed his lips while he continued to play with my piercings with his fingers. It wasn’t long before I was grinding myself against his quite obvious hard on and pulling on his pants for him to remove everything.
He stood up and hurriedly removed them as I did the same with mine. I took in the sight of all random ink patterns that covered his body. It made me want him more and I got more turned on once he laid back down on the bed, looking at me through sleepy eyes while he stroked himself.
I crawled over to him, pulling a foil packet out of my dresser draw and handing it to him. He slid it down his length and watch with pleasure as I slowly lowered myself onto him. I held still for a second, getting used to him being inside me before I began to move, rocking my hips back and forth while bouncing slightly up and down.
Harry clearly had had enough my teasing, despite enjoying the opportunity to play with his favorite accessory of mine. He flipped me over and on fours and got behind me, pushing my shoulders down with his hand before he slid into me again. I cried out at the new sensation of him being so deep inside me. He moved slowly at first, but moved at a more fevered pace.
He reached around to begin playing with my clit and I moved in rhythm with him as he slid in and out and played with me, rubbing in small circles. I felt him begin to come close to his climax as he breathing got heavier and he was more exact in his motions, ensuring he hit the right spot every time.
We both cried out with our release at the same time, breathing heavily. I collapsed after he withdrew from me. He tossed the condom on the floor, pulling me close to him on his chest. He held me like that, not saying anything until I fell asleep.
I awoke the next day to the sun blinding my face. I reached over to my bedside table to grab my phone and realized I didn’t have it. It must still be where I left it. I glanced over at Harry who was still sleeping peacefully. We had seperated in our sleep and he was sprawled out over the other half of my bed. I realized in my still naked state I should probably get showered and dressed and I did so before heading downstairs.
My phone was sitting on the counter in the kitchen where Niall and Lizzy and my Aunt Stacey sat around the kitchen table drinking coffee. They looked up when they heard me. The pity and sadness in their eyes was obvious. My aunt came over and hugged me, followed by Lizzy and Niall.
I thanked them for their concern and got myself a cup of coffee. My stomach rumbled.
“What’s the time?”
“It’s nearly two in the afternoon,” Niall replied. He glanced at Lizzy. “I need to get going soon, do you want to come back to my hotel with me?”
She shook her head no. “Not right away, I’m going to spend some time with Annaleise first.”
“Tell Harry when he wakes up that we’re leaving the hotel tomorrow around 12 to head to the airport.” He placed a kiss on my forehead before kissing Lizzy and headed out the front door.
The three of us sat around the table in silence for a while.
“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Lizzy finally said breaking the silence.
“Me either, it’s so surreal, I don’t think I’ve fully processed it yet.” I replied, looking out the windows to the hills surrounding the neighborhood. The view was dotted with different colored houses and blue shapes indicating pools all around the Hollywood hills.
Aunt Stacey took my hand in hers. “Death is never easy, my dear. I’m sorry you have to go through this, Annaleise. It’s not fair.”
“What happened?” Lizzy asked.
“He slit his wrists in the bathtub,” I replied, recalling Cost’s father telling me how he had known his son was gone the minute he entered the house.
Lizzy gasped and Stacey squeezed my hand in hers.
“Why?” She asked, her voice caught up and she sounded on the verge of tears of again.
“I don’t know, no one does,” I replied. I continued to stare out the window of the kitchen my thoughts recalling the note that was upstairs in my jean pocket. I desperately wanted to share it with someone, but Cost’s parents had asked me not to and the least I could do to respect their wishes was not mull it over with my friends trying to sort out the mystery behind it.
“Sometimes people can put on a really good outward projection of themselves while they cover up the pain they’re dealing with inside,” Stacey had said.
I agreed with her words. It was true. Thinking about it now, I realized I had barely known Cost, especially if he had only revealed his biggest secret to me after he had taken his own life.
Lizzy put her head down on the table, covering her face as she cried. My aunt comforted her and I took my phone and left the room, finding comfort in the den where I could be alone.
I had received a flood of texts and calls and messages on every form of social media from people offering their condolences. I hadn’t heard from Cost’s parents regarding funeral arrangements. The future seemed so uncertain now. I realized then that no one had known that Cost and I had broken up since he had taken his life a few hours after our last phone call.
Instantly filled with regret that that situation was my last memory of him, I felt tears well up in my eyes again. I would do anything to get him back. I thought of his note again. I owed it to Cost to find some sort of vengeance for a situation that drove him to want to end his own life.
“Hey,” I heard a soft British accent behind me. I looked up and saw Harry in all his bedhead glory, attempting to smooth down his hair. He was dressed in his clothes from yesterday and his eyes were still glazed over. He yawned and tried to cover the fact that he was still tired.
“Hi,” I smiled, thankful the tears had dried.
He came and sat down next to me. “Niall left,” I said. “I don’t know what your plans are for the rest of the day but he said that they’re leaving the hotel around noon to go to the airport.”
He nodded. “I don’t really have any set plans, I can leave if you want to be alone.”
“I do want to be alone, but then I don’t. Will you stay with me today?”
“Of course, Annaleise.”
My aunt had made some sandwiches for us and we ate them. Lizzy left shortly afterwards, promising to be in touch if she heard anything. My aunt had disconnected the house phone and the main gate buzzer since the paparazzi had now decided to be set up around my house and Cost’s as well.
“I’ll leave you to it, Annaleise. I love you. I’m here if you need anything. Thank you, Harry, for being here for her.” She hugged us both before walking away.
“Let’s go for a drive, I want to show you something.”
We headed out to my car, with me getting in the driver’s seat.
“Er, Annaleise, do you mind if we stop at my hotel quickly so I can shower and change? Sorry, I just haven’t since before the show yesterday.”
“Yes, of course, I was wondering what that smell was anyway,” I glanced over at him, cracking the first smile I had all day.
“That would be me,” he admitted.
Thirty minutes later after Harry had showered and changed and I had all the boys offer me their condolences, we were back on the road. I drove back from LA and past the hills and up a few back roads. The roads turned from pavement to gravel and eventually to dirt before I turned off the car.
“We’ll have to walk the rest of the way,” I said as we exited the car.
I was glad I had only a pair of jeans and a t-shirt on and some old tennis shoes. Harry’s hair was slightly damp still and he was in dark jeans and a dark shirt with a plaid button down over top. I shivered slightly wishing I had brought a jacket.
We must have hiked for around forty-five minutes, climbing up the mountainside, silent most of the time. I stopped finally when I took in the view. “I really want to hop that fence,” I said.
Harry looked up and we were a few hundred yards away from the Hollywood sign.