Bismillah.
So I couldn't bear not to update quick. The previous chapter shattered me too much. I'm in a net cafe, waiting for my Mom and sister. And I really felt the need to write right now.
Chapter Twenty - Three: Sturdy Heart
Fatima's POV
Three seconds of insanity. Three seconds of abrupt foolishness. Three seconds of wondrous possibility all broken down when RM did not hug me back.
I wallowed my tears and let go of him, all aware of the stares of the other seven, of my family and Isaac's too.
When I was stronger in the past, I would always tell myself, I would not be that girl who cannot control herself and had to hold a non - mahram in public. And yet, there I was on the day that Isaac had proposed.
I wanted to told RM one line that I was dying to tell him.
I wanted to tell him - Ask me again. Ask me again to marry you. But if I would do that, that would make me the most evil of all persons. I cannot do that to Isaac.
"Fatima, I want you to apologize to Isaac," was all what RM said before facing the others.
"Okay guys, I guess we are done here, " he told them.
And then he faced Isaac who seemed to be rooted on the spot.
"We are sorry for the interruptions. We will explain later when time is convenient," RM said to him.
Isaac just nodded at him.
"Fatima, what was that my dear? Who were those men?" Mom asked me.
"They were people forcing us on a work contract we had decline many times Aunty," RM explained.
My parents welcomed RM and introductions were introduced. But I wasn't myself. All I could feel were guilt and rejection. Guilty of hurting Isaac and that ugly feeling of being turned away by RM.
I wanted to go away.
I didn't even care who those men were. All my heart feels right now is a mess. A whole big mess I caused.
Then Isaac came to me and he smiled with understanding. I searched his eyes and saw something I didn't see coming. Scorn.
He scorns me.
Then he leaned on to me and whispered in my ears.
"My parents didn't see you hugging RM. Your Mom was quick enough to take them to the back door, using their safety as an excuse. Now you listen to me baby and listen to me good. You will say yes to my proposal. I will marry you and what you did with RM must never ever be repeated again. Or else I might just do something you and I will both regret? Wanna know what's that?" he asked, head still leaning on my ear.
I wasn't able to move.
"I'll lock you up in a place where they can never see you. I mean it Fatima. I have never been insulted like this," he said.
He then stood up straight.
"I believe Fatima has an answer to my proposal now," I told everyone.
Both our parents were there including Nurina and Ali. Suga was looking down. RM was looking at Isaac. The others were looking at me.
I wanted to say no. I wanted to hold on to RM's sleeve and begged him to want me back but I had caused enough humiliation to Isaac. One of the things I disliked in this entire scenario was the knowledge that Isaac Khalid just settled all our debts. I owe him big time. And I hate owing something to anyone. It was for this reason why RM never tried to pay out anything for me.
Isaac smiled again, with scary eyes filled with scorn and rancour. He went near me again and whispered something any woman would hate any man for.
"I just paid all of your family debts. It would be a shame baby if you would refuse me. I am powerful Fatima. I hope I wouldn't need to use more of my power just to make you my wife. You wanted this right? The soonest time possible you told me last night. If you backed out now, you'd be a hypocrite, a liar, a non - Muslim," he said in disdain.
From the corner of my eye, I saw J - Hope going towards our direction. But Isaac gave him a warning look as if threatening him to stay out of it.
I gulped and cleared my throat, smiled my hardest and then look at Isaac lovingly.
"Yes. My answer is Yes. I accept your proposal Isaac," I uttered very clearly.
Isaac smiled widely and his parents rejoiced. My siblings were clapping. The guys congratulated us but RM and Suga just stood there, staring at me.
"So with all the events, I believe we must take our fill. Fatima and I cooked lasagna," Mom said.
"No, no, no Aunty. We won't stay long. We're going back to Manila," RM countered.
"Nonsense," Dad said.
Hence with that, we all got inside our house and made our way to the kitchen. The seven were in the living room since the dining table was too small. Isaac's parents and mine were eating in the dining room with my siblings. Isaac and I would go back and forth from the dining area to the living room. More likely, he won't let me out of his sight.
"Isaac darling, can you come her for a while?" his Mom said.
"Yes Mom," he said then looked at me as if he wanted me with him.
"I .. I need to get something from my room," I told him.
I did not let him refuse me anymore as I hurriedly dashed towards my room. Once inside, I lay down and closed my eyes. This afternoon is just too much for me to take. Outside my room are people who are changing my life when all I want to do right now is turn it all around.
Just be Isaac's secretary, RM's best friend and an acquaintance of the Handsome Eight. After today, things are going to be tough and changing.
I locked my room just in case Isaac comes in knocking. Isaac, I saw a whole different scary side of him. A side that I don't like. He forces me to marry him. He black mails me and guilt his way for me to say yes. Then he said it's love. Piece of bull.
The memory of RM refusing to hug me kinda stings a little. No, a lot. Isaac did not hug me back for the sake of Allah. RM did not hug me back because he doesn't want me to do anything with him. What happened to his simple dream? What happened to the RM I knew?
Wanting a distraction, I opened my laptop and saw that I have one mail. My eyes bulged when I saw whose it from.
Suga Yoongi.
This email was sent around 11 in the morning. No message, just a voice clip. I got the headphones from my laptop bag and connected it. I sat on the bed and listened.
"Dear Kismet,
I'd rather not confuse your already confused heart.
I'd rather not say words you aren't ready to hear.
I'd rather not turn you away from whomever or whatever your heart is leaning towards.
I just want you to know that soul mates are not always love mates you know.
They can be strangers you can talk with without saying anything, without promising anything.
I can sit next to you in silence and it would be enough.
I can gaze at you from a distance and silently say a prayer to Allah for your happiness and safety.
I can send you this message and not expect anything but for you to feel that you are wonderfully created by Allah Azza Wajal.
Kismet, whatever storms you are passing through, go sail on that boat with a sturdy heart. I can be your mast, your anchor, your paddle, your invisible companion.
We do not need to be companions physically or interactively. I feel you and it is one of the miracles I cannot explain, nor can you. And maybe, just maybe, it is Allah's way of telling you that HE loves you because when no one knows how it feels like, I do.
Stay strong Kismet. And stay smiling."
A happy tear trickle down my face. I composed myself and store away my laptop.
I can do this ya Allah. I trust YOU. And I praise YOU for YOU Alone is Worthy of All Praise.
I unlocked my room and happily entertained my guests. The future belongs to Allah. There is nothing to be afraid of Fatima Maryam.
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"Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest."
- Qur'an 13:28
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My sister has arrived. Got to go. Thank you all for loving this story. I love you all fisabilillah. <3