Where Alfie Solomons loses a battle of wills with his dog...
"You're going out again Alfie?""I got to take care of somefink ain't I? I won't be late though love, yeah?""Heard that one before, good job I've got Cyril for company...""Yeah, about that, keep him off my fuckin bed, right?"You roll your eyes, knowing full well that will never happen.Cyril doesn't leave your side when Alfie isn't home; curling up on your feet when you sit on the sofa and sitting expectantly like a statue when you eat your meal in the kitchen.It starts to get dark, you decide to read in bed. Feeling particularly cold, you snuggle under the covers.You figure Alfie won't be home until the small hours, so you pat the bed beside you and Cyril clambers up.You scratch behind his ears as you read, enjoying the large dog's warmth.Alfie returns, flinging the door open;"I thought I said he weren't allowed on the fuckin bed!""Cyril, get down."He tries to move him but the dog will not budge"You've got him fuckin spoilt love,""Come on Cyril, fuck off will ya?"Cyril lifts his head, huffs at Alfie and settles back down on your knee.Alfie makes to get into bed. Cyril stretches out to block him.Alfie leans over to kiss you and the dog growls."Fuckin ell I've lost my fucking bed and my fucking wife to my fucking dog eh? Fine!"You can't help chuckling."I'll sleep on the damn sofa,"Moody Alfie walks out. Cyril jumps down and trots after him, tail wagging.From the living room; "No, you can just fuck right off, can't ya.""Alfie, come to bed, love,""OK but the dog stays out here...he's claimed the goddamn sofa now ain't he!"You sit Alfie down and massage his broad shoulders to relax him and help him unwind.He snuggles into bed with you and mutters "an you can stop smirkin too,"You can't though-the thought of the great Alfie Solomons being bested by his own dog is too funny!
HisMissHarley13 I loved this too much not to repost