Three Idiots and a Ghost

By salkim03

393K 30.9K 14.6K

3 + 1 = 3 ... idiots and a ghost! Cooper Smith, the clueless one. Archer Lee, the awkward one. Skyler Rose, t... More

3I1G (3D1P #1) - Idiotic Introduction
When an idiot showered
When three idiots attacked
When a ghost said hi and received a f**k you
When a cat gave a piece of his mind and a ghost got a name
When a ghost fell asleep
When a ghost possessed an idiot
When an idiot danced
When an idiot got passionate about bananas
When a ghost imagined a creepy idiot
When an idiot turned dumb
When a ghost snuck around and pissed off an idiot
When a ghost dreamed of an idiot
When two idiots were in class
When an idiot cried Ringu!
When someone never got a reply
When an idiot worried too much
When an idiot got violated
When an idiot and a ghost had a nice time
When an idiot kept himself busy in his room
When an idiot was utterly clueless and another idiot lost his manhood
When a ghost went undercover
When someone passed by
When an idiot went to a gay bar
When a ghost felt sorry
When a ghost finally learned something about herself
When an idiot failed again to remember a girl's name
When a ghost couldn't look in the mirror
When a ghost got two bad pictures and a passible one
When three idiots and a ghost celebrated
Miniseries: A Cat's Chagrin (Part 1 of 2)
When a ghost ran away
When an idiot didn't like someone
When three idiots got into character
When a ghost watched the news
When two idiots skipped class
When a ghost got a friend she could relate to
When a ghost couldn't do anything
When a ghost knew this was farewell
When an idiot couldn't be awkward
When a ghost didn't know
When an idiot's grandma came to visit
When an idiot was possessed by evil spirits
When a ghost went on a trip
When a ghost remembered
When a ghost found acceptance
When three idiots sort of kidnapped someone
When a ghost found forgiveness
When a ghost reached her last day
When three idiots and a ghost said goodbye
Miniseries: A Cat's Chagrin (Part 2 of 2)
When three idiots spent a day without a ghost
When three idiots, a ghost, and a cat got interviewed
When an idiot wrote a Pattwad story
3W1Z (3D1P #2) - Introduction (Because I've decided to move everything here)
Because breathing is pretty cool (Part 01)
Because breathing is pretty cool (Part 02)
Because breathing is pretty cool (Part 03)
Because there are no second chances in death (part 01)
Because there are no second chances in death (part 02)
Because there are no second chances in death (part 03)
Because you can let yourself be heard (Part 01)
Because you can let yourself be heard (Part 02)
Because you can let yourself be heard (Part 03)
Because you can better yourself (Part 01)
Because you can better yourself (Part 02)
Because you can better yourself (Part 03)
Because you will get to places (Part 01)
Because you will get to places (Part 02)
Because you will get to places (Part 03)
Because it opens you up to new things (Part 01)
Because it opens you up to new things (Part 02)
Because it opens you up to new things (Part 03)
sgniht oder nac uoy esuaceB
Because only live bodies feel warm (Part 01)
Because only live bodies feel warm (Part 02)
Because only live bodies feel warm (Part 03)
Because there's always another chance (Part 01)
Because there's always another chance (Part 02)
Because there's always another chance (Part 03)
Because ghosts don't have friends (Part 01)

When a ghost said sorry and received a fart

8.2K 632 386
By salkim03

"You're sure you want me to do this?" Rags asked Archer, standing right in front of him.

He nodded. "I'm positive. Take over my body, Rags."

After Cooper's banana tantrum, the house had gone quiet for a few minutes. Archer had taken that time to really think about Rags's possession ability. He eventually hypothesized that the front door had something to do with it. Not only was Rags able to possess Cooper's body while passing through the door, but she also was able to leave it while doing the same. Archer saw some significance in that and wanted to test his theory out himself. Sure, he didn't exactly feel easy about a ghost using his body, or a girl touching him at that, but he was the only person willing to play guinea pig. Cooper was too upset about his involuntary breakfast choice at the moment and had locked himself in his room. On the other hand, Skyler had made it clear he didn't want anything to do with the ghost.

"I'm going to walk through the door now," Archer informed, taking a deep breath. "We have to time this just right."

"Yeah." Rags waited until half of Archer's body was out the door just like Cooper's had been before she took over him. And just like then, she suddenly felt a strong force pulling her towards her tall roommate. In the blink of an eye, her perspective of the world suddenly rose by half a foot. She made it out of the apartment once more.

Skyler, who had been watching television on the living room couch, briefly turned his head around to see if the experiment had worked. Even though on the outside he looked completely indifferent to everything that was going on, on the inside he was still curious to learn a few things about the ghost. That way, he would know when, where, and what to be cautious of around her. And he'd now have to add the front door to that list.

All of Archer's theory was proven to be correct when Rags came back into the apartment and into her ghost form. Though no one knew the explanation behind it, it was now confirmed that the entrance acted as some sort of supernatural aid for ghostly body possession.

The apartment was quiet for the rest of the day as everyone went about their separate business. Archer was back to working on his Pattwad story in his room, while Rags and Skyler went on a marathon of TV shows. Although Rags tried to strike up a conversation every now and then, Skyler wasn't all that responsive.

Soon, it was time for dinner, and Skyler was once again busy in the kitchen. When the food was nearly all prepared, both Archer and Rags waited at the table. However, Cooper had yet to show up. He hadn't left his room once all day, except one time when he came out to grab a bag of chips for lunch. While doing so, he didn't make eye contact with anyone, especially Rags.

"Hey, you should go talk to Coops," Archer said. "He's a simpleminded guy. If you apologize, he'll get over being mad at you right away."

"You think so?" Rags asked.

Archer nodded reassuringly.

Although the issue was a bit ridiculous, Rags did feel sorry about eating something Cooper hated so much. She didn't like this tension she was feeling between him and her at all, especially knowing that she was stuck living with him. She wanted to be on good terms with him—with everyone. Thus, the faster she resolved this conflict, the better.

Rags walked over to Cooper's bedroom. The door was left slightly ajar, but it didn't matter since her ghostly body could easily pass through it. She saw Cooper lying on his bed in the middle of playing a game on his phone. Mr. Sprinkles was snoozing by his feet, muttering a few unheard death threats between breaths.

"Coops?" Rags called out to finally grab his attention.

Cooper's green eyes briefly moved toward her before returning to his phone screen. "What do you want?" he asked in a low voice that felt so out of place compared to his usual cheery high tone.

"I want to say sorry for breakfast. I'm sorry I had to take over your body without permission, although I didn't know that would happen. But above that, I'm sorry for eating that banana bread. I didn't mean to upset you because of it. Oh, and I'm also sorry for acting a bit like a lunatic in your body by twirling around on the sidewalk."

"You did what—"

"Never mind," Rags quickly cut in, thinking it'd be better if Cooper didn't know about the last part. "Anyways, do you accept my apology?"

Cooper paused his game and sat up cross-legged on his bed. He stared blankly at Rags's sincere face for a few seconds before his lips rose into a smile. And just like that, gloomy Coops was gone. "Yeah, apology accepted, Rags. So, should we like hug now?"

Rags smiled back. "I'd like to, but we probably can't. I'd just go straight through you."

"Well, we can still try." Cooper stood up and approached the ghost. He wrapped his arms around her like a rigid hula hoop, not being able to touch any of her. He was practically hugging the air. "See? We can do it...sort of."

"Thanks, Coops." Although Rags couldn't physically feel the warmth of Cooper's body, she felt something equally nice somewhere in her heart. She was glad to be back on friendly terms with him.

Just then, Mr. Sprinkles grumpily awoke for his nap. "Ugh, there's too much love in the air. It makes me want to fucking puke." He jumped off the bed and sauntered toward the door with a big yawn. "I'm going somewhere more miserable. Perhaps the gay one's closet will suffice. We all know he sure as hell spent most of his angsty teen years inside of it."

Rags knew she shouldn't laugh but couldn't hold back her giggle hearing all of this come from a cat.

"What?" Cooper asked, totally oblivious to his furry friend's foul mouth. "Did you like fart or something?"

Rags passed him an odd look. "Why is that the first thing to come to your mind? And I don't think ghosts can fart."

"Really?!" he replied with more shock than was probably necessary. "Man, you're missing out. There's nothing more refreshing than letting a big one rip." To Rags's surprise, Cooper then proceeded to show her said "big one," and yes, it was quite the big one.

"Oh my god, Coops! I am so glad I can't smell anything!" She headed out of the room, having lost her already nonexistent appetite.

"Hey, the loud ones don't smell!" he defended in the middle of laughing. Cooper was definitely back to his normal, playful self now.

"I don't really care to know about that! Just come to the dinner table already. Everyone's waiting for you."


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