“The best is yet to come…”
“Jealous… ha!” Drei muttered to herself while she sat on the edge of her bed wiping the tears away from her face. Then she grabbed several pieces of tissue beside her and blew her nose. “Like as if I should believe that!”
She allowed herself to shed a few buckets of tears right after Alex walked out on her. A good cry and a never-ending monologue, that’s what she needs. In fact, it’s becoming a habit already. There was no one to blame for her over sensitivity but her hormones and the asshole, Greek god father of her unborn child. She hated them both. But she hated Alex the most. She hated him for the gimmicks he’s been doing to make it up to her. It annoyed her. She hated him for the efforts he’s been doing just to get her attention. And she hated him even more tonight when he told her that he was jealous.
‘I’m jealous because you’d rather be with him than be with me…’
His words were still clinging unto her mind, playing over and over again like a broken record. She scowled at the thought and then her hand caressed the bulging bump.
“He expects me to believe that… ganoon lang ba ka dali yun, Zooey?” she addressed the question to the person inside her tummy. “After being an asshole, your father thinks I could let him get away with that that easy… Jealous… yeah right?!”
But underneath the cold façade that she’s been putting on for the past few days, there was a part of her who believed it. Her heart. That tricky organ on her chest believed him. Every single one of his gimmicks, every single one of his efforts. Her heart bought it all.
Yet tonight was the highlight of it all because her heart believed every single bit of his words. She cringed at the memory. The fierce expression on his face and how he said it with so much conviction just nailed it right through her chest. It was real and Alex was telling the truth. And now she hates herself, which is why she chose to shut him out before she finds herself vulnerable around him. She’s already on the right track but his words were now holding her back. Goddamn it!
Drei gave out a heavy sigh. She stood up, stared at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were swollen from crying, her nose was red. She looked awful. She was done crying for tonight and she didn’t want Matty to see her like this. So she walked out of the room and into the bathroom to wash her face. Then she headed into the kitchen to fix herself a sandwich and a glass of milk for dinner. It was already quarter to eight, she was still all by herself and Manang Pilar wasn’t home yet. Matty arrived a few minutes later; Tope bought him home after having dinner with the Soriano’s at Greenbelt. The boy took a bath and changed into his pajamas.
“Mom, can I ask you something?” Matty said. The both of them were inside his room already and getting ready for bed.
“Go ahead,” she smiled at him.
“Nag-usap na po ba kayo ni Daddy Alex?” his face was serious. Now, Drei didn’t see this coming.
She arched a brow at him feigning ignorance. “Nag-usap? Tungkol saan?”
“About sa inyong dalawa…” he said casually.
“Ano naman pag-uusapan namin? At bakit kami dapat mag-usap?”
“Because you and Daddy Alex need to talk… you don’t talk to each other anymore… is there something wrong?” She was silent. “Nag away po ba kayong dalawa?”
For a minute there, Drei forgot that Matty was a very observant kid and that lying to him won’t do her any good. It was like he had some sixth sense or something.
“We… we haven’t talked yet, Matt,” she replied. “Kami ng Daddy Alex mo, we kind of decided to go on a time out muna… you know… cool off for a bit…”
“Nag sorry na ba siya?” Drei nodded. “Yun naman po pala, Mom eh,… Did you forgive him na?” She shook her head. And Matty frowned. “Why?”
“Because it seemed to me that…” She sighed and scratched her head while she scanned her thoughts for the right answer. “That he didn’t mean it when he said that he was sorry…”
Of course, Alex meant it. But her stubborn self just wouldn’t concede.
“I think he means it, Mom,” Matty stated and all she could do was to give him a skeptical look. Her son sounded like he was on Alex’s side. “Kasi… he’s been giving you flowers almost every day…”
And it was true. Drei felt her chest tightening a bit. Alex’s been leaving flowers with sorry notes on her bed and even buying her favorite food. But despite that momentous effort coming from him, she didn’t let it get to her. She resisted them all.
“Hind pa ba enough yun, Mom?” Matty asked once more.
“Sometimes kasi, Matt, when you did something to someone para magalit sila, giving them gifts isn’t enough… Minsan dapat you guys should let things cool down muna…”
Matty frowned. “Daddy Alex is sorry naman eh,” he said. Drei saw the concern in his son’s eyes and it didn’t take a genius to make her realize that Matty was affected by their cold war. “Kawawa naman siya, Mom… talk to him na…”
Drei suddenly wished it was that easy. Sure she could just let it slide and pretend that nothing happened. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t allow herself to be vulnerable around him all the time.
“Tell you what, babe,” she told him just to cheer him up. “I’ll think about it okay? I promise you, mag uusap kami, okay?”
“Promise?” he asked, half smiling.
“Promise… now… magpahinga ka na okay? You still have school tomorrow…”
“Good night, Mom…” he said.
She gave her son a kiss on the forehead. And then Matty, kissed her tummy.
“Good night, Zooey… Kuya loves you…” That made her smile and her heart swelled with pride. She was lucky. Lucky to have this amazing boy in her life. She stood up and turned on the night light on Matty’s bedside table.
“Mom?” Matty called out, she was already at the door and just finished switching the lights out.
“O, bakit?”
“I wish na sana maging friends na kayo ulit ni Daddy Alex…” he told her. Drei just swallowed. “I like him, you know… mabait siya… I know he’s going to be a good dad kay Zooey…”
How could she tell her son that the reason why she was doing this was because she needed to help herself move on? That she was doing all this to protect herself from this man whom she knows will never love her back? How could she tell Matty that this was the only way for her to detach herself from Alex because she needed to save herself from the possibility of yet another epic heartbreak? If it’s only that easy to say all this to a seven year old boy, she would.
This was the hardest part now. Matty already liked him. And well, it was something she already saw coming. And there she wanted to tell her son not to like him but of course, she couldn’t. This was her battle. Something that she needed to fight alone.
“Good night, Matt…” was all she could say. She wished that what Matty said was true because maybe, just maybe, she was wrong.
She went back into the kitchen and washed the dishes. Then Drei grabbed an apple from the fruit basket and began to slice it. Drei felt her tummy tightening again causing her to stop. She set down the knife and cringed. Another Braxton Hicks contraction. This wasn’t new to her because she was already feeling it a few weeks back. Then she made her way into the living room. She glanced at the clock and it was already almost nine. She was just a few steps away from the sofa when another Braxton Hicks contraction happened again causing her stride quickly. This one felt more intense than the other one she had back in the kitchen. She cringed again because this one was suddenly a little painful. This was the sixth one she had in the past hour.
She sat herself down at the sofa and breathed out slowly trying to relax herself. She wasn’t due yet, not until next week. When she relaxed, it disappeared. It was normal, she thought to herself. Especially that her due date was already nearing. She got back to reading the book that she left off earlier. And then a few minutes later, her phone buzzed and she got a message from Manang Pilar telling her that she was already on her way home from Marikina.
After finishing the slices of apple on her plate, she got up and that’s when she felt it. Assuming that this was just another Braxton Hicks, Drei sat herself down for a while. But then it didn’t stop, instead it intensified. Her tummy became hard and now she felt a dull ache that was starting in her back and in her lower abdomen. Drei cringed causing her to let out a small cry. It felt like a menstrual cramp but only stronger. She tried to relax, avoiding the possibility of a panic. This was already her second child and what she has read and what she knew from her friends, labor is usually quicker than the first.
“Ooohkay… okay, we need to time this…” she told herself and glanced at the wall clock. She began to take note of her contractions. Her contractions were becoming regular even as she was sitting down, lasting for about seventy seconds. She stood up, clutched her phone and started to distract herself. She paced around the living room. The intervals of her contractions were drastically changing. From 15 minutes apart, the intervals lessened to ten minutes apart.
“Ohhh god, ohhh god,” she cried out softly and started to dial Alex’s number. His phone kept ringing and there was nobody answering. “Goodness Alex, sagotin mo!!!” she scowled after another failed attempt to reach him for the sixth time. Giving up, she dialed Jeannie’s number.
“Hello?”
“Bess…”
“O bakit?” Jeannie sensed the hint of panic in Drei’s voice.
“I think I’m in labor na…” she told her best friend.
It was Jeannie's turn to panic. “Ha?! Teka… sure ka na?”
“Oo… I’ve been having the contractions an hour ago… Ahhh….” She breathed out.
“Drei? Drei? Are you okay?” Jeannie asked.
Drei almost bent over because of the pain. It was getting stronger. “Still here, still here…”
“Hello, Drei?” it was Johan already. “Saan si Alex?”
“I dunno Yo… tinatawagan ko siya… he’s not answering…”
“What?!”
“Hindi ba kayo magkasama? He left kanina… wala pa siya sa bahay…” Drei heard Johan cursing.
“Sino kasama mo? Si Manang Pilar?” It was Jeannie now.
“Kami lang ni Matty, si Manang Pilar pauwi pa lang… galing siya ng Marikina…” she said.
“Okay… wait for us, okay…. Relax ka muna… breathe, Bes… breathe…” Jeannie instructed. “Papunta na kami ni Johan diyan okay… 15 minutes, kaya mo pa?”
“I’ll try… I’ll try…” and then she hung up the phone.
Drei continued to distract herself. She called her Ate Des and Des promised her that she was on her way. After that she called Manang Pilar to ask her where she was. The old lady told her that she was already in EDSA. She could still hold it.
“Zooey, please hold on pa ha…” she spoke to her tummy. “A few minutes darling… a few minutes…”
The intervals of her contractions were still ten minutes apart, which is good because at least she could still wait. If there’s one thing she was glad about now, it’s the fact that her water bag still didn’t break. She still had time to distract herself. She went back inside her room and grabbed a bottle. Then she headed straight into his room while she began to call him again.
“Bwesit ka talaga!!!” she shouted when Alex didn’t answer. “Hindi pa sinasagot ng walang hiya!” she scowled. “Dammit! I hate him!”
She was already inside his bathroom. She gave up and undressed herself.
“Don’t stress yourself, Drei…” she breathed out. “Think happy thoughts… happy thoughts… yes, happy thoughts…”
The water has already filled the tub and she poured the Lavender & Chamomile bath salts to soak herself into. She redialed his number and placed it on loud speaker as she settled her phone on one surface of the tub. Slowly she descended into the tub and let the warm water engulf her. This is what she needs. A warm bath. A warm bath in his bath tub while she waited on the other line for him to answer.
***
Some women experience the distinct signs of labor while others do not. You don’t know what causes it to start or when it will start. There are five signs of labor: lightening, passing of the mucus plug, contractions, water breaking, and the effacement and dilation of the cervix. There is also what you call a “false labor” and a “true labor”.
The information was racing through Alex’s mind while he made his way out of Makati and into the Bonifacio Global City. Labor pains, Johan said Drei was having labor pains.
“Nag fafalse labor ba siya?” he said to himself out loud while he drove. “Kasi kung nag fafalse labor lang siya, irregular yung contractions niya and they don’t get close together. Baka naman false labor lang… baka naman hindi… What if talagang naglalabor na siya?” he wondered again. “Kasi pag yung totoong labor na yun, mas regular yung intervals ng contractions niya.. tapos sunod sunod…”
The image of Drei sprawling on the floor and blood all over her suddenly appeared on his mind. He may be a bad person in her eyes, but he didn’t want something terrible happening to her and Zooey. The mental image lingered causing him to shiver. What if he comes home and sees Drei in that state, like some cut out scene from a blood and gore movie? It caused him to panic knowing that she was alone when he left. Shaking the image out of his head he stepped on the gas.
“Oh God, please…” he heard himself say as he squirmed in his seat. Blood and gore. Blood and gore. It was all he could think about. The worst case scenario that he could ever imagine.
When he reached the parking lot of Two Serendra he didn’t bother to park his car properly. All he could think about was to get out of the car and get to Drei. She was all that mattered to him now and that mental image in his end. He got out of the car and ran as fast as he could to the elevators. The house was empty when he got there. While he stood at the living room panting, he didn’t know if he just missed them or what. He looked around in panic.
“Tangina!” he cursed to himself again for being such an asshole for the nth time. Was he the cause of Drei’s labor? What if something wrong happened to her when he walked out earlier? If something did happen, he will never forgive himself. “Gago! Gago ka talaga!”
“Manang?” Drei’s voice. He was sure it was her voice. “Manang?” It took him a few seconds to realize where the voice came from. He strode quickly towards his room.
“Manang, ikaw ba yan?” she called out again. Alex found her in his tub in the middle of a calming bubble bath. She was covered with froth. Drei was breathing in and out heavily like she was trying to calm herself down. Her eyes were closed and she was rubbing her tummy. A sigh of relief flooded through him as he found her there. He wasn’t too late. And she was okay.
“Drei?” he kneeled down, leveling with her.
Hearing his voice, she opened one eye. “Ikaw na ba yan Alex?” her voice was soft.
“It’s me, bubba, are you okay?” Drei just nodded, closed her eyes again and continued to rub her tummy. “Masakit na ba? Why the heck are you still there? What if lumabas si Zooey bigla diyan sa bath tub?! Bakit kasi nakuha mo pang mag —”
“Shhhhhhh shut it, Alex…”
He ran his fingers through his hair in sheer frustration and panic. “What the hell is wrong with you, getting inside that tub, huh?”
“I’m trying…” she said in between her breaths. “To relax… I’m relaxing, Alex… because this…”
“Soaking yourself on a warm bath can help you cope with the labor pain…” he finished for her. How could he forget what he read?
This caused Drei to open her eyes and stared at him. “Pano mo naman nalaman yan?”
“I…” a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. “I read the book…”
“What book?”
“Eh di yung tinapon mo sa itsura ko!” he told her. “May ibang libro ka pa bang tinapon sa itsura ko? Wala naman na di ba?”
For a minute there, Drei didn’t know how to react but there was a light squeeze on her chest. He read the book. At least he did. “Know it all!” she snorted at him.
“Pwede ba umalis ka na diyan? Baka kung mapano ka pa eh…” he insisted once more. “Bubba, please…”
And then out of the blue, she gave his head a knuckle. “At saan ka nangaling ha?” she shouted at him and then she threw in a slap on his arm. “Alam mo ba ha…” She began to assault him. “Kanina pa kita tinatawagan ha… ha…”
Alex didn’t see that one coming. “Aray! Sorry na nga…” He let her assault him until she had her fill.
She was about to give him another bash when she let out a shrilling cry. “Ahhhh……”
“Yan na nga ba sinasabi ko eh! Tumayo ka na nga diyan!” He was panicking now. He grabbed a towel that was hanging on the bathroom wall. But Drei didn’t get up. She was still cringing and breathing out from her mouth. “Bubba, halika na…”
She shook her head. “Ayaw ko!”
“Bakit ayaw mo?”
“Hello, did you forget that I’m all naked here!!!!” she fired at him. “No way, I’m going to let you see me naked!”
“Ampucha naman o!” he cursed. He almost forgot that part. It slipped his mind that underneath the froth that enveloped her, she was naked as can be. “Nahihiya ka pa sa lagay na yan?”
“Oo naman!!!” she protested even if she had no choice. She needed help.
“I won’t let you… Sa condisyon mo na yan do you think hahayaan kitang tumayo sa bathtub ng mag-isa, Andrea?” he contradicted. “Not a chance, bubba, not a chance. Get up….”
“Ayaw ko, gusto ko lumabas ka!” she pleaded.
“Ayaw mo? Nahihiya ka pa sa akin eh nakita ko na yan lahat!” a sheepish grin came across his face. “Ngayon ka pa mahihiya…”
“Gago!!! The last time you saw me naked, I wasn’t as huge as a whale, stupid!” she pointed out and Alex couldn’t help himself. He snickered over at her remark. “Now you’re laughing at me!!!! Arrrrrgh! Stop laughing!!!”
“Okay, I’m stopping…” he obeyed. “So can you please get out of the tub now…. I promise to close my eyes…”
Drei bit her lip, she had no choice. And besides her contractions are already getting stronger. “Promise?” she asked.
“I swear… I won’t look at your bombang buntis body, bubba…” he agreed although in the back of his mind a flicker of curiosity tickled. He suddenly wondered how Drei looked like naked and pregnant.
“That look on your face, Alex, I swear…” she narrowed her eyes on him. She probably saw the mischievous look on his eyes. He feigned innocent. “Okay, on three… tatayo na ako… close your eyes…”
He did what he was told. He felt Drei grabbing his arms for support. He tried to open them slightly just to see her naked pregnant body. But then she saw him peeking.
“Don’t look!!!!!! You promised!!!”
“All right!” he closed his eyes again. “I need to open my eyes, bubba, baka mabangga ako or what… kahit slight lang..”
“Noooo!!!”
She walked out of the tub in a very slow manner. The pain was intensifying now. Alex didn’t close his eyes as she got out. She was in so much pain to even notice that his eyes were wide open. And there he saw her. Naked and pregnant. He swallowed an imaginary lump on his throat. She didn’t look like a whale. She was beautiful and something in him suddenly burned.
Drei turned her back on him. Alex immediately wrapped her with the towel he was holding. And instinctively he just wrapped himself around her from behind. She lingered on him for a few seconds while he rubbed his hands on her tummy.
“Does this make you feel better, bubba?” he asked settling his chin on the crook of her neck. He cursed to himself because she smelled so good. Lavender. She smelled like Lavender.
“Yeah…” she said softly.
He kissed her shoulder and then her temple. “You’re doing good, bubba… okay? Just breathe…”
Then Alex moved one of his hands to her lower back and began to massage her. She was breathing through her mouth. But no matter how much she calmed herself down, the pain was getting stronger now.
“Ahhhh….” She cried.
Alex moved her out of the bathroom and when they got out of his room, they saw her Ate Des, Manang Pilar, Johan and Jeannie standing in the living room. Jeannie and Ate Des helped Drei change into her clothes inside her room while Alex instructed Manang Pilar to stay behind and watch after Matty.
Alex called Dr. Datu, Drei’s OB and told her that they were going in for admission. Then he called his Dad to tell him the news that Drei was about to give birth tonight. When the women got of Drei’s room, Alex came back in and picked up the baby’s bag from inside Zooey’s little cabinet. Last Monday he did another run down on its content, making sure that everything was there. He was sure of it. They got everything that they needed in there. Then he got another extra bag for Drei’s things. After picking up the baby bag and the other bag, he grabbed Drei’s extra pillow and then headed to his room to get his camera. Of course, he shouldn't forget the camera. They were all set.
The next thing they knew, they were already walking towards his car inside the parking lot.
“You okay?” He checked. Drei just looked at him in alarm. “What? Tell me, bubba, what’s wrong?
Drei glanced at her legs. They were wet. And then she looked at Alex.
“I think my water bag just broke…”
***
Alex placed some towels and a garbage bag over the car seat where Drei was supposed to sit because her water broke already. They arrived at St. Luke’s Global City after a few minutes since it's just around the corner. The intervals of Drei’s contractions were already every 5 minutes. When they got into the hospital, Drei was wheeled directly to the OB Gyne Complex and was changed into the hospital’s patient's gown. One of the OB residents on duty did an Internal Examination. She was already dilated at 5 cm.
“Teka… where’s the baby bag?” Drei checked again as they were being transferred to the High Risk Pregnancy Unit (HRPU).
“It’s with Ate Des, everything is there already…” he assured her.
“Yung camera?” she added. “Don’t tell me you left it! I will kill you if you left it!”
“It’s in the other bag I prepared na may gamit mo… everything we need is there… relax okay?”
The High Risk Pregnancy Unit (HRPU) is a private labor room where there’s a bed, leatherette pillows, fetal monitor, a big flat screen TV and La-Z-Boy sofa. Alex was right beside her, holding her hand and breathing along with her. Inside, the nurses have already placed her on a fetal monitor.
“Ahhhhhh….” Drei cried out. Her contractions were rapidly progressing and just a few minutes after, the pain began to accelerate.
“Okay, bubba, just breathe…” Alex coached.
“I’m breathing… hoooh… hooooh…”
Dr. Datu came in a few minutes later. She did another IE (Internal Examination) to check the progress of her dilation. Dr. Datu found out that she was already at 7cm.
“I hope magtuloy tuloy na Drei,” Dr. Datu told her. “You’re already 7cm.”
“Doc I thought her due's next week, napaaga ata?” He asked.
“There are cases talaga that the labor starts out earlier than usual… and with Drei’s case, since this is the second baby, minsan mas maaga talaga…” Dr. Datu explained. “Your baby is already 38 weeks according to her check up, which was last week, so she’s all set to see you guys… Di ka ba excited?”
“I am. It's just that…” Alex gave out a nervous smile then he glanced over at Drei who is trying to relax herself despite the pain she's currently going through. “We didn’t expect this to come earlier that’s all…”
“That’s fine,” Dr. Datu smiled. “Importante, you guys are here already…” and then she checked the fetal monitor. “The baby’s doing great… so we just have to wait a little more… okay?”
“Puwede ba akong tumayo at maglakad?” Drei asked.
“Sure! If kaya mo, Drei…it wouldn’t be a problem…” Dr. Datu remarked. And then Drei was given the option of having an epidural anesthesia for painless labor.
“Ayaw ko…” she answered. “I can take the pain, Doc.. I can still manage it.”
“Are you sure?” Alex asked and she nodded. But he wasn't convinced. “We’ll keep our options open, Doc… if it's okay?”
Dr. Datu just nodded and then left the room. Ate Des came in after her. She told them that their room was all ready and that their things were there. Then she handed Alex the baby bag, the baby book and the camera. He took it and placed it at the small coffee table beside the La-Z-Boy chair. The Legaspi’s had already left when they got to the hospital so it was just the three of them – Ate Des, Drei and Alex. When Ate Des left, the two are left alone inside the HRPU. Drei couldn’t sit still. She wanted to walk around. She wanted all these to be over. Slowly, Alex assisted her to get up. Her contractions were still at a regular interval and the pain was still bearable. Alex’s phone rang and he was surprised to see Drei’s mom calling him.
“Hello, Tita Judy..” he answered. “Yes, we’ve been admitted… she’s here, she’s okay… Matty’s home kasama niya si Manang Pilar… yes po, okay hold on…” Alex gave the phone to Drei.
“Hey, Ma…” she smiled through the pain. At times like these, Drei suddenly missed her Mom. When she gave birth to Matty, she was around to help her get through it. “Okay naman po… 7cm na, eto nga naglalakad lakad na… the baby’s okay, kakacheck lang ng OB ko awhile ago… Yes, don’t worry… kaya to… okay, I love you too… ha?” then she glanced back at Alex. “Okay, eto siya…” she gave the phone to him.
“Yes, Tita?”
“Alex, ikaw na bahala kay Drei ha…” Judy said. “I know wala kami diyan for her, so she needs you… I know you guys are not, you know, together as a couple, but please just be there for her as a friend… or kung ano man kayong dalawa…”
With that, Alex suddenly felt a tug on his chest upon hearing what Judy said. She was entrusting Drei in his care and earlier he walked out on her. The pang of guilt swamped him.
“Yes, Tita I will…”
“Take care of her for us, okay?” Fred then added. “Balitaan mo kami kaagad kung ano nangyayari… I hope we could Skype tomorrow…”
“Yes , sir…” and then he glanced over at Drei who was now standing by her bedside, remote in hand and browsing through the television for something to watch. He suddenly felt the weight of the responsibility being assigned to him and earlier he was close to messing it up if he didn’t get there on time. "I will..”
“O ano sabi sa’yo nila Mama?” Drei wondered, walking towards him when he hung up the phone. One of her hands were massaging her back.
“They told me na alagaan ko daw kayo…” he said. Then out of the blue, Drei grabbed his ear and twisted it. “Araaayy!” he screamed.
“Akala mo ba nakalimutan ko na yung kasalanan mo sa akin ha?” Drei didn’t let go of his ear. “Kanina pa ako tawag ng tawag sa’yo ha….”
“Aray…”
“Ha… hindi ka sumasagot!” then she let go of his ear and she assaulted him again. “Nakakainis ka talaga!!!!” Kainis!!!” More punches straight to his chest. Alex grabbed a hold of her hands to stop her.
“I’m sorry, okay… sorry na…” he pleaded and there was a hint of affection in his voice. He didn’t want to argue with her, not this time, not anymore. He looked into her eyes and said it again. “Bubba, I’m sorry…”
“You haven’t…” Drei cringed. The pain was increasing but it was still bearable.
“Damn it! Are you okay?" He panicked again, holding her close. "Shit!”
“Hoooooh…” She breathed through her mouth while she closed her eyes for a moment. And then she gave him a sharp look. “You haven’t answered my question yet, Alexander!”
Drei freed herself from his arms and walked away from him. He sighed. Even if Drei didn’t have the right to question him on this one, he gave in. After what’s been happening tonight, Alex felt that he owes her the truth.
“Okay," he resigned. "Pumunta ako kela Johan… and then humabol ako kela Jason sa Republiq… I had a few drinks…”
Drei arched a brow at him, unsatisfied with his explanation. It was like he missed out on something and she could feel it. Deep down, she got the hunch that something more happened to him in that club. But she didn’t rub it in. Despite her current state, she still knows where she stood in his life. He never gave her the right to interfere with his life. She hated him earlier and she still hated him now because he wasn’t answering his phone, she was sticking to her reason.
“So ganoon na lang yun… you’d rather walk out on me whenever we argue about something? Mas pipiliin mo pa na mag good time than to settle our differences, is that it?” she asked him. He didn’t answer instead he just looked at her with a somber expression on his face.
“Sana naman minsan wag ka maging selfish… I know, we’re not a thing, Lex… you made that clear to me and I’m standing by that…” she told him matter-of-factly. This was the talk that they needed and she wasn’t going to stop now. “But all these were your idea and I agreed because you told me that you wanted to be my person… for Zooey, we were doing all this for Zooey… and look what’s been happening, we end up arguing lang… And nakakapagod alam mo yun…”
After letting it all out Drei turned her back at him and paced inside the room. She no longer expected to hear his reasons why. She just felt exhausted. What’s important now to her is that she spoke her mind. She was now burying the hatchet. Alex kept his distance from her. He still didn’t say a word because she was right. Right again. And again, for the nth time, he was at fault here. Instead of fixing things, he ruined it.
They both remained quiet for the rest of the hour. Drei settled herself already in bed watching the series Dexter on the flat screen TV while Alex was lounging on the La-Z-Boy chair that was inside their room busying himself with his phone. It was already 11:25 in the evening and that’s when Drei felt the sudden urge to push. Her contractions were much stronger now that caused her to cry out in distress. The pain on her lower back was beginning to seize up.
“What’s wrong??!” Alex asked as he leapt out from his seat. “Tell me…”
“Ang sakit na…” Drei felt like her muscles inside were being twisted harder and harder. She never thought that this labor would be much painful than her last. Seeing the expression on Drei’s face, Alex pressed the button for the nurse’s station that was above Drei’s bed. Dr. Datu came in just a few seconds later and another internal examination was done.
“Looks like its time…” she smiled at the two. Drei was already dilated to 9cm. “This baby is ready to rock n’ roll… I can feel the head already…”
Everything was suddenly in a hurry when the nurses came in to assist Drei. Alex was already in panic. He grabbed the camera on his chair along with his phone. One nurse asked for the baby bag and then he handed it to her along with the baby book. Dr. Datu had already ordered what was to be done. With that said, Drei was quickly wheeled into the long hallway, Alex held on her hand until they reached the doors of the delivery room. A male nurse stopped him at the entrace. He was asked to change into a scrub suit so he could come inside the delivery room with Drei. When he was done, the male nurse gave him the mask and the cap for his head.
The delivery room looked like some spaceship from an X-Files series. It was bright and white and cold. And it smelled like Lysol. Drei was placed in a lithotomy position on the delivery table, with her back slightly elevated. Her legs were up in stirrups and her buttocks close to the edge of the table. She was then draped hurriedly and the nurses had to keep her legs closed while they waited for Dr. Datu and Dr. Miranda, a resident OB on duty, to finish scrubbing. Alex appeared by her side a few seconds later, all dressed in scrubs. He held on to her hand as soon as he stood beside her.
“Hey bubba, I’m here okay…” he smiled and then he bent over and kissed her forehead. Alex could see the pain in her eyes as she breathed through her mouth. “Just a few more minutes… unti na lang…”
The pain was heightening and so is the discomfort that she was feeling. She really wanted to push and she could feel the baby slowly descending on her birth canal. With each wave of contraction she breathed. This will soon be over, she thought to herself. Zooey was already on her way out to the world.
“Saan ka nangaling?” She asked grumpily, almost shouting. “I had to change into scrubs…”
“Saan yung camera? Is it there?”
“Oo binigay ko na sa nurse, sabi niya siya na daw bahala…”
Dr. Datu was ready after less than a minute and she was just in time for the next big contraction that was coming. Alex could feel the grip of Drei’s hand on his. He felt helpless seeing her in so much pain.
“Okay guys this is it….” Dr. Datu said. “Give me a good one, Drei… push…”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh….” She did what she was told. She grabbed Alex’s hand and gripped it. “I hate you Alex… I really hate you…” she told him.
“I can see the head already, Drei…” the doctor said. “I want you to push a little harder now…okay… go…”
“Come on, bubba… one more…” Alex cheered on. “Isa na lang daw…”
Drei breathed in and then she grabbed his hand tighter as she screamed while she did her biggest push. It was a long and painful one that left her sobbing. Relief swept over Drei’s body as soon as she heard her baby cry. Zooey was out. She was finally here.
“Baby out!” the doctor said. It was all over. “Time is 12:15 AM.” Then Dr. Datu turned to Alex. "Do you want to cut the cord?"
"I could?" he asked her, a little confused.
"Of course! Its something that dads never miss out on..." Dr. Miranda added. "O, halika ka na daddy..."
Alex took a few steps closer and Dr. Miranda handed him the surgical scissors. Then the doctor instructed him which part to cut and Alex did what he was told. He returned to Drei's side after that. The baby was immediately placed on Drei’s tummy where she was suctioned, wiped clean and dry. After that, the baby was directed immediately to Drei’s breast and the latch was initiated as part of their newborn protocol. Their first mother and daughter bond.
“Hi, Zooey…” she whispered. "Hi, princess..."
Drei felt an inexplicable bliss, peace, relief and joy the moment she held her baby in her arms. Despite the exhaustion and the grogginess she was feeling, her maternal instinct kicked in. The first thing she did was to check and see her baby’s tiny hands, tiny fingers, tiny feet and tiny toes. They were complete. Next, she ran her hands through her tiny body feeling every inch of her new bundle of joy, checking for scars and all the whatnots. Nothing was wrong.
She was okay. Zooey was okay.
Alex stared at his daughter for a few minutes. He was still in awe because there she was, his little girl. It was just a magical moment for him seeing his little girl for the first time. He couldn’t believe that the little life that was kicking inside Drei’s tummy was finally right before his eyes. He marveled at the sight of her because he has never seen such a beautiful thing in his entire life until today.
She is perfect.
His Zooey.
Then he turned to the woman beside him. Drei, the mother of his child. This amazing woman who endured all the pain just to bring his daughter out to the world. He stood there looking at her with all this mixture of emotions running through him. And out of all those unexplainable emotions he was having, happiness filled him the most at this very moment.
“Hey…” he said teary eyed. Drei met his gaze. “You did it, bubba…”
When she heard him call her ‘bubba’… somehow despite of everything else, it made her smile. It made her smile because he was there beside her, with her… in one of the most important time of her and their daughter’s life. And all the hate she had known for this cold, heartless man just faded. He was here beside her and it was all that mattered to her now.
Drei continued to sob and Alex wiped the tears away from her eyes. He stared right into her eyes. And without knowing how or why, he cupped her face and his lips met hers in a tender kiss. It was gentle and sweet. They broke apart and he looked at her again.
“I’m sorry for being…” his voice quivered and then a tear fell from his eye. Drei bit her lip at the sight of him. With her free hand, she wiped it away. “…the number one asshole you’ve ever known…” he told her. “I know I’ve been so immature and selfish and irresponsible, and I’m sorry, bubba… I’m saying this because I mean it… and I want to be your person… not because I need to but because I want to be… And I’ll understand if you won’t forgive me… and that—”
“Sshhhh…” she placed a finger on his lips. Seeing that look on his face, Drei didn't know whether to laugh or cry. But this was something she knew she'll never forget in her lifetime. “Enough…”
“Hindi pa ako tapos eh…” and she raised an eyebrow at him. “I promise you that things are going to be better…”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep…” Drei reminded him. She didn’t know what was going on inside his mind. But her gut seemed to tell her that it's going to be a good one. She found herself asking if she could trust him again. He kissed her forehead.
“I’m keeping this one, I swear…” he told her. He brushed his nose on hers. “You’ll see…”
***
“You’re sure that you don’t need anything, bubba?” Alex checked for the nth time as he stood beside Drei’s bed. His face was creased into an expression of honest concern. She just finished breastfeeding and now she was letting their bundle of joy burp on her shoulder. They both heard a burp a few moments later.
An hour has already passed since Drei was transferred into her room after spending almost two hours inside the Recovery Room. Zooey followed a few minutes later. Dr. Datu did a last check on Drei and gave her some instructions before she left. Ate Des went home a few minutes after, she couldn’t stay longer since she had work the next day but before she left, she made sure that Drei and Zooey were all settled inside the room. Drei smiled at him.
“I’m fine, bubba… really…” she assured him. He gave her a skeptical look. “I swear, I’m okay… I’m just really tired…” The exhaustion was slowly kicking into her now. She felt as if her whole body was limp, all her energy was drained after undergoing the labor process earlier. All she wanted to do right now was sleep.
“Okay…” he answered softly, then he took a strand of hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. He gazed at her for a moment while she held Zooey for a few more minutes. “Bubba…”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you…” he began. “Thank you for letting me know that Sunday afternoon that Zooey was mine… Thank you for giving me a chance to be a part of all these…” She didn’t answer because she didn’t know what to say. Deep inside her, she was grateful that Alex realized all these and the same time she hoped that he'll realize something more. Then he kissed her forehead. “Thank you because this happened to us.”
Then Drei handed Zooey over to him. He looked so funny as he was lifting her off of Drei’s arms very slowly like he's holding the most precious thing in the world. After all, Zooey is the most precious thing in his world. Drei watched him as he stared at his daughter with absolute fondness that she has never seen from Alex before. She watched them with her heart’s content until she slowly drifted off to sleep.
“Hello, baby girl…” he greeted his daughter when he placed himself on the chair beside Drei’s bed. Excitement and apprehension was running through him because Zooey looked so tiny in his hands. He just couldn’t get enough of her. “Daddy’s here…”
Zooey must have recognized his voice. Slowly she opened her tiny eyes, yawned as if to shake the sleep off of her. The moment their eyes locked, he knew that she was his. His big hands cradled her little body. A love struck look appeared on his face, the same look he had when he first saw her on the Ultrasound room. He still couldn’t believe that he just created this tiny human being that he held in his arms. He took in a few minutes to let this entire moment sink in. He's still stuck in the love struck state, he traced over her itty-bitty nose, her small lips, her chin. He was memorizing his daughter’s face with all his heart. Then his index finger held her tiny hand and Zooey held it with all her little might.
A part of him and Drei in a physical form.
She is just beautiful. She's perfect.
“Mommy did a great job today with you, princess,” he told her as he continued to be fascinated by the little creature in his arms. Zooey looked him in the eye and cooed in response like she agreed. Alex smiled with delight. And then he sneaked a glance over at Drei who was sleeping peacefully not far from him. He suddenly remembered the last time he watched her while she slept, the day they came home to his old unit after the ultrasound.
He looked at Drei for a moment and his gaze suddenly shifted to her lips. And just like that, the memory of the kiss they shared earlier back inside the Delivery Room suddenly flashed in his mind. But Alex surprised himself by coming back to the feel of that kiss. An odd, scary, entirely new but vaguely familiar kind of feeling swirled inside him. It felt strange because that kiss reminded him exactly how he felt the first time they ever kissed.
But this kiss was different. It was brief and simple and the innocence of it suddenly annoyed him. It’s been years since he felt like that over a kiss. Or maybe it’s been so long that he’d forgotten how this kind of kiss felt like. And Drei changed that because the moment his lips met hers, she reminded him of a familiar emotion that he felt a long time ago. At the thought, his chest tightened and something in there suddenly cracked open. It wasn’t just something physical, it was more than that.
For unknown reasons he found himself rationalizing over the fact why he kissed her. It was because of her strength, that spunk she has in her. It was her smile. It was her courage. It was the way she gets into his nerves whenever they fight. It was the way she cares for everyone, like the way she cared for him. It was her fierceness to let him know how much of an asshole he was becoming, her fierceness to defy him. And she could drive him to the edge. He admired her, but he admired her greatly today for bringing his daughter out into this world.
“Mommy’s the bravest woman I’ve ever met, Princess…” he went on. “I hope that you’ll be like her when you grow up…”
Alex knew that Drei’s always been an exception and she could change everything in his life. She’s amazing like that. In fact she’s already started and he’s learning to get used to it. And he knows pretty damn well that she could do more than that if he’d let her. He could love her. He could if he’d let her warmth get into that organ in his chest that’s been so cold and barren for so long.
For a brief moment, he entertained the ‘what ifs’ that are popping in his thoughts. What if he opens up his heart to her? What if he fell for her? What if he gives them a shot? But something in him suddenly stirred this early morning musings. Is he worthy of her? Is he ready to love again? Is he ready to get his heart broken? Does he deserve someone like Drei? Because he was sure enough that Drei doesn’t deserve someone like him…
But then his thoughts shifted to this beautiful person in his arms who looked at him straight in the eye and cooed at him… Zooey begged to disagree, like she was telling him to look at the other side… the much positive side.
“We’ve been waiting for you, princess… me and mommy and Kuya Matty… we’re so happy to see you…” he said and then Zooey smiled at him. She smiled at him, her first smile and he was bursting with happiness.
“Well let’s see… Daddy wants you to know a few things… your name means life… because you are my life now… you and Kuya Matty… but you’re my princess and you’re the most beautiful thing that I’ve ever seen… actually you and mommy, you’re both the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen… And you have a really cool Kuya Matty, who loves you very much… No dating until your 18th birthday… and I promise to kill the boy who will break your heart…” he went on.
And there he felt it… that he deserves all of these... And for the first time in his entire life, he felt complete.
“And I want you to know that Daddy is not a pro at this… I’m still a work in progress and all but I want you to know that I’m gonna do better next time.. I will try my best, princess… for you, Kuya Matty and Mommy, I will do my best… I want to be the best…” he heard himself say.
Alex glanced over at Drei for the last time. All he knew now is that he didn’t want to fail her again. He didn’t want to lose her. He didn’t know what kind of barrier he could possibly put between her and his damn heart because she was making her way in. And he was letting her.
This was new to him. New seemed nice. And this is just beginning...
He kissed Zooey’s little hand. “Daddy will figure it out… I promise…”
Music: Do You Realize by The Flaming Lip
Playing For Keeps © 2013 Cassie Albes. All Rights Reserved