Yuri knew that if he had to sit in his rock hard, wooden disappointment of a chair for one more god damn second........
A second that took a year to pass by as he listened to the deafening tick of the clock......
That he'd either have to drown himself in the firstfloor pool, or he'd just bring himself to death with boredom right there in the middle of the classroom.
And hell, either option sounded a lot better than having to listen to Ms. Fontaine's lecture on how Pride and Prejudice was the most beautiful piece of literature to ever grace the earth.
LookI
All hail Jane fucking Austen Yuri bitterly cursed up in his head, his thoughts swirling as his eyes rolled in resentment. For Christ's sake.....how can you spend a whole class period talking about how it was so perfect and fateful that Elizabeth had fallen for a moody asshole like Darcy?
If I had been Elizabeth, I would've gone into the marriage for the money that he so obviously had, and then left without a single kiss on the cheek or a solemn goodbye.
Because fuck, I would never fall for someone like Darcy.
But of course, Yuri knew that the only reason Ms. Fontaine was so fascinated in this classic love story was because her life didn't really involve a story quite like this one.
Hell, not even anything close.
He knew all about how her husband had divorced her early on in the marriage and left for some other woman, probably the first one who threw herself at him since married men are such a commodity.
Don't ask how or why he had figured that out.
Yuri was either wickedly observant or way too curious, both traits having a close to similar meaning.
Hell, maybe he was just so god damn bored of his own life that he had now resulted to entertaining himself with the boring, yet endlessly dramatic lives of his fellow teachers and students.
No one would ever know.
But it didn't matter.
He couldn't help but pity Ms. Fontaine anyways.
And not only because she was unfortunate in love, but because she had chosen to put a Jane Austen novel at the top of her standards as to what her life should be like.
Life was not according to Austen.
In his opinion, it was according to Stephen King, seeming as it is a hell hole.
Plus, god knows living and breathing in this school was enough of a nightmare to testify to that fact.
"And so students, I simply want you to think about the theme of Pride and Prejudice. What do you believe it corresponds to? Love? Status? Family?
Look beneath the surface.
Look deeper than what meets the eye, and that's when the theme really and truly comes to you.
Isn't that right Mr. Katsuki?"
Fuck......
Yuri jolted our of his coma and stopped scribbling meaningless doodles on his worn notebook, a notebook that was navy blue and filled to the brim with anything but the notes he was supposed to be taking.
"Uh....yes! Yes, of course," he said as he gave Ms. Fontaine a sorry smile, feeling uneasy at the sensation of every single pair of his peer's eyes on him with judgement and irritation, since that's all they were pathetically capable of.
Judgement.
He prayed to god that she wouldn't take the time to comment on his short attention span that had failed to pay attention to her stupid lecture.
Of course, it wasn't his fault that he was so easily distracted away from an ill-persuaded, meaningless education and monotone teacher voices.
He was a daydreamer.
Not to mention, dreamy himself.
And so all Ms. Fontaine could do in response to those innocent, smiling brown eyes was give him a tired glare and a disappointed shake of the head as she circled back around her desk and sunk into the comfort of her black, leather chair.
God knows she didn't have enough energy to deal with the stubborn bombshell that always sat in the back of the room with his pen twirling in his fingers...........
And his eyes looking out the window as if he were begging for the world to send him anything else to watch or listen to.
But Yuri Katsuki was not the only student Ms. Fontaine had given up on.
They were all hopeless in her humble, quiet opinion.
So, much to her liking and every one else's, the silver bell outside of the classroom door finally rang out with a blaring sound as the signal for the end of the day.
"Thank god," Yuri openly murmured to himself as he stood up abruptly, his chair scratching against the dusty classroom floor beneath him with friction.
A sigh of relief escaped his pink lips naturally as he packed up his stuff in a scarily fast manner and dashed out of the classroom like his life depended on it.
And god, it really did.
"See you all tomorrow. Don't forget the assignment boys!" Ms. Fontaine said with an exasperated sigh, her pleading voice becoming distant to Yuri as he skipped out into the hallway without a second glance. "Oh, and don't mess around in the halls! End of the day means end of the day!"
God, did Yuri love the sound of that.
"The end of the day."
It was liberating to step out of his trap of a chair and run into the humid hallways, with his leather book bag banging up against the side of his knees as he walked around campus to find his solace......
That solace being the dorm room that was meant for him, and only for him.
It was his safe place.
With his navy, untouched sheets and his striped pillowcases that he relished laying down in, his feet entangled within them lazily and ebony hair swimming in the pair of cotton clouds.........
As he pretended to dream and live in a world that didn't involve responsibilities, ones that needed to be wiped away.
One of those obvious responsibilities being homework of course, something that every school kid could vouch for.
Yuri's idea of responsibility, however, was picking up one of his collected pieces of literature that he had stationed side by side on his bookshelf and reading it without fail.
Books that were along the lines of poetical, classical, or historical........
With their worn out spirals, folded page corners, and washed out covers, the titles scratched out and showing signs of being worshipped by the boy.
And he loved reading these with the company of his illuminating salt lamp that sat on the bright window sill to the left side of his bed.......
He had stolen it from one of the art teacher's rooms (he really couldn't recall which one), since none of them seemed to take the time to turn it on and appreciate the light.
So instead of a classroom, it now lit up the room with a soft, amber glow that took him into a state of euphoria when those late, insomnia filled nights begged him to keep his eyes only open.
During which he couldn't help but press play on his antique, scratched up, platinum radio that always echoed the sounds of The Beatles and Bobby Vinton quietly, during the hours of 3 a.m and beyond.
His room was always quiet and yet......loud at the same time.
And so like many afternoons before, the glow from the lamp would be soft, the melody of the music sweet and contained, and the routinely timed turn of his book page would barely be making a sound.
The only thing that would be making a sound were the constant thoughts and attention seeking problems that never failed to be heard by his teenage brain.
And god, did Yuri Katsuki have a lot on his mind.
But that was beside the point.
Because his room would be empty, regardless of whether it was quiet or loud.
And his room was something he could call his own.
His home.
And he was shaking in excitement at the thought of jumping into his haven of a bed the second after his creaky, wooden door would open wide with a twist of his golden key.
But sadly..........
That excitement would be delayed.
Simply because Phicit Chulanont was running towards Yuri with a different plan for the afternoon in his eyes.
And this plan didn't look like it involved hanging around the dorms.
"Yuri! Hey, wait up!" he yelled as he chased Yuri down the front steps of the school, the sky grey and cloudy above them as they ignored the fact that rain was in the forecast for the late afternoon.
"You gonna head to the dorms with me or not Chulanont?" and Yuri could hear the adolescent footsteps of Phicit's shiny shoes catching up to him as he kept his eyes on what was ahead.
"Oh no you don't. I've scheduled us a date with destiny Mr. heartbreaker!"
God......Yuri thought.......please make me deaf before I have to hear about this so-called date and before I have to hear him call me "heartbreaker" one more god damn time.
The only heart I've broken is Ms. Fontaine's.
And all of my other teacher's poor hearts for not living up to their expectations.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean? Don't tell me you've finally worked up enough courage to go ask out that artist boy you always run into in the park," Yuri said as he looked beside himself to find Phicit comfortably walking at the same pace, a cheeky smile on his lips.
"Hey, you know my rules. The boys come to me, not the other way around. We mustn't upset the balance. As I always say.....wine me, dine me, and then sixty-nine me."
Ugh, gross.
Yuri rolled his eyes with the slim amount of juvenile energy and attitude he had left in his worn out body. "Oh, and how's that.....balance.....workin' out for ya Cupid?"
"Shut the fuck up, smart mouth."
Katsuki couldn't help but laugh at the childish pout on his friend's face and the cliché nickname he had been given as a result of his teasing.
"Alright, Alright. Please enlighten me as to what this date might be," Yuri said as he skipped ahead and faced Phicit, walking backwards with a confident smirk and comfortably crossed arms.
"Well, when I say a date with destiny, I mean a date with me. We haven't chilled out in a hot minute!" and Phicit lightly shoved Yuri's chest as he stumbled backwards with a laugh.
"Yeah, and that's probably because you say shit like "chill out" and "in a hot minute."
"What can I say? I'm cultured."
"More like culturally insulting."
"Awe come on, to what culture?"
"All of them."
"You are too much," and now Phicit was the one rolling his eyes in resentment. "So, can I get a "yes Phicit, I'd love to hangout with you. You are, indeed, my best friend in the whole wide world and I'd want nothing more but to accept your kind offer."
Yuri had his back turned on Phicit at this point.
Make no mistake though, he still had a smiling smirk stuck on his lips at the sound of the Thai boy's tone.
"How about I just give you a yes?"
"That's good enough for me Katsuki."
And so both boys made their way from one campus sidewalk to the other as they listened to their complimenting footsteps and to the sounds of each other's storytelling voices........
Their goal being to get to the nearby coffee shop before they got rained on, and before they would get bogged down by some administrative asshole or excitable underclassmen.
Yuri never understood how those itty bitty freshman had enough decency in themselves to walk with an elephant sized smile and a perfectly ironed tie.
Not even he had possessed such a decency when he was a freshman.
And to this day, he still had obtained nothing of the sort.
"Hey, before we get off campus, I have an idea....." Phicit taunted with as he looked at Yuri with a shit eating grin and an unbuttoned collar.
"Oh god, please enlighten me..."
"How about we invite new boy Nikiforov on our little date? The poor thing is still so unfamiliar to town after all...." and he didn't even finish his sentence before Yuri let out a deafening groan and a quiet murmur of "jesus."
"Yeah, and I hope he gets the fuck out of town."
"You've gotta be shitting me, what is your damage Katsuki?" Phicit was utterly confused as to what made Yuri so hateful and loathing towards Victor Nikiforov.
He was also utterly confused as to the reason why, since the first pop of Nikiforov's bubblegum, this vivid tension had grown between the two within a single class, and in a single day.
He could only assume it was because of the fact that boys were so prided on their high levels of testosterone and low tolerance of patience.
Not to mention the fact that they were both stubborn as fuck.
Or maybe they just wanted to fuck.
The second thought was a much more entertaining one Phicit thought to himself, as he made sure to keep a thought like that to himself.
"What's my damage?! Seriously, you're asking me that question?" Yuri spat out with fire as he quickened his pace across the quad with a scowl. "That fucking asshole is the one with damage! You can pick up his southern privilege from a mile away!"
"Technically, he's not even southern. He was born in Russia."
"Oh, well Ra-Ra-Rasputin, that just changes everything doesn't it?"
"Don't tell me this hatred stemmed from the fact that he stole your damn pen," Phicit said with a head held high as his black shoes kicked and played with a pebble on the pavement. "I mean, I know you loved that pen but dear god, I'd let that boy steal a lot more than just a pen from me."
"Can't let him steal your virginity. You already lost that Lolita."
"I'll let him steal yours instead then."
So much for the keeping the fucking thought to himself.
Immediately, Yuri's pale cheeks flushed a deep red as he tried to play off that virginity wasn't an embarrassing, not to mention, very sensitive subject for him........
As it was for many other teenagers who desired to be loved by another in a way that demanded a lustful touch and lingering kisses to drunken lips.
"I can assure you that Mr. bad boy will not be stealing a single fucking thing from me. Especially not my god damn virginity," and Yuri whispered the last word as if other people were close enough to hear. "I'd rather lose my virginity to the guy who works behind the corn dog truck down the street."
"So I'm guessing that's your way of saying you don't want me to invite Victor?" Phicit asked with an innocent smile as he laughed at his friend's comedic words.
"He comes along, and I'm gone baby."
"God, you're such a drama queen."
"At least I'm not a Russian prick."
"Yeah, thank god you're a Japanese prick instead. You dodged a bullet."
And Phicit seemed to be incapable of dodging a bullet too as he stumbled into the perfectly trimmed bushes from a slight push that was a courtesy of the ravenette.....
A ravenette who was already long gone as he ran down the cracked, paved sidewalks of Westview to avoid the wrath of Phicit Chulanont, practically laughing his ass off.
And eventually, both boys found themselves sliding through the door, out of breath as they made their way into the smokey, cozy coffee shop that always smelled like rich dark chocolate and cherries.
Both smiled as the red velvet couch pushed up against the brick wall in the corner by the window came into view, that being Yuri's favorite spot to sit down in and never leave.
And he planned to do just that.
Never leave.
Because he could no longer care enough to deal with anything else.
He could no longer care about demanding teachers, homework, or the new platinum-haired asshole that he couldn't stand in the slightest.
Yuri Katsuki only desired one thing.......
And that was a hot cup of coffee.
With a dash of cream and only a single pinch of sugar.
Just the way he liked it.
✣
"Fuck no. You're out of your mind if you think I'm gonna run out in that fucking monsoon of a rainstorm, all the way back to campus," Phicit said, leaning up against the front door of the coffee shop as he looked outside with wide eyes. "I'd rather be caught dead."
"You're gonna be caught dead anyways if you don't make it back to the dorms before Mr. Callaghan goes out on strike for your ass," and that was the only statement Yuri Katsuki's lips had graced that made him sound like he was somewhat of a dedicated student.
Which he, obviously, wasn't.
And Mr. Callaghan, who was the strict hall monitor for building A of the dorms, was fully aware of this.
Yuri couldn't remember how many times, whether he had done something wrong or not, he'd heard that old man yelling "Mr. Katsuki!" loudly down the hallway with a tone that screamed "you're busted."
And he knew that the second he'd step foot in the dorms he could count on hearing it again, because Callaghan's favorite part of the job, and his favorite word, was most definitely......
Discipline.
"Can I at least use your jacket then Yu Yu?" Phicit gave Yuri a childish pout to which he replied with a facial expression that matched "unimpressed."
"Absolutely not, you know how much I love my denim jacket. Jesus, you are such a pussy."
"Ah ah ah......language."
"Chulanont, I swear. If you don't step out in that rain and dial down the snarky comments within the next ten seconds, I'm gonna push you out there myself," Yuri said as he pointed towards the doorway sternly.
"Oh, I'm quivering in fear."
"Actually, I changed my mind. I'm just gonna push you anyways."
Without even a second to waste, Yuri had pushed open the coffee shop door and shoved Phicit out into the pouring rain against his will.........
The cold, harsh rainfall immediately seeping through both of the boy's perfectly bleached collared shirts, and the fabric sticking against their goosebump covered skin..........
Phicit's screams and statements of protest complimenting the loud crash of thunder and lighting flawlessly as Yuri laughed at the sound.
"Oh, you god damn wanker!" the Thai boy yelled after his friend wearing a ripped denim jacket as he lingered behind, with his shoes smacking down on the pavement and his blazer above his head like a desperate replica of an umbrella.
"Careful, you're starting to sound like Luca sweetie!"
And Phicit could think of nothing clever to say in return.
They continued down the soaked, Nottingham streets and chalky sidewalks as they gradually made their way back to campus........
Puddles splashing under their feet and adolescent laughter coming from their lips as they finally stumbled through the front door of their building loudly, and in a not so discrete way.....
Which made it just a tad bit easier for Mr. Callaghan to pick up on the "smell of trouble" all the way from the second floor as he marched down the stairs with a scowl.
"Look at me, I'm soaked! And I spent all night ironing and bleaching my shirt too!" Phicit complained as he stood in the middle of the lobby area, Yuri laughing at him shamelessly as he leaned up against the wall with a devilish smile.
"God, you're so gay."
"Hey mister, let's not bring my sexuality into my school uniform routine, m'kay?"
"You're the boss."
"Actually, Mr. Katsuki," and both boys sharply turned towards the staircase revealing the one person they were trying to avoid, not that they had tried too hard to do so in the first place.
"I am the boss."
Yuri muttered "fuck" under his breath as Phicit tried not to groan out in disappointment, knowing he should've seen this coming.
But lucky enough for the duo, Phicit could kiss up to a teacher and dish out flattery like it was no one's business.
"Mr. Callaghan? What a nice surprise!" he said as he walked over to the fuming teacher with perfect posture and a brilliant smile.
Yuri just rolled his eyes at the scene before him as he stayed glued to the wall with a drenched denim jacket in his hands and ebony, dripping bangs stuck to his forehead.
He basically screamed "I don't give a shit."
"Yes, well I could say the same for both of you, considering that I was expecting you to be back in the dorms in time for the second semester building meeting," and Mr. Callaghan relished in the well-known feeling of being in charge as he stood there, wearing his immaculate suit and trademark poker face.
Yuri had always seen him as a Professor Snape type of authority figure...minus the jet black, stick straight, shoulder-length hairdo.
I mean, they could be the same person.
And if that were true, then Yuri would easily take the role of Harry Potter, considering he was (against his will) the "chosen one" of Callaghan's resentment.
"Oh no, we completely forgot about the meeting! I guess it didn't cross our minds since we were so busy studying in The Commons!" Phicit said innocently as he patted himself on the back for coming up with such a faultless excuse.
But of course, Mr. Callaghan didn't buy into the manicured bullshit, and stayed quiet as his dark eyes darted between both of the boy's soaked and pleading faces, a deep sigh leaving his lips as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.
"Wow, studying on the first day back? My, your teachers must be stretching you a bit too thin," he said, with a sort of fake, sympathetic tone. "But I mean, the chance of me ever catching Katsuki actually studying for once is already thin to begin with."
Yuri bit down on his lip to suppress the urge to claw both of the middle-aged man's eyes out and away from his thick fucking skull.
A crime he reluctantly decided against since just retaliating with a snarky comment, something he was more than comfortable with, would do the job.
"Probably not as thin as the chance of your ex-wife ever deciding to come crawling back to you. When's the last time you left her a desperate voicemail? Five minutes ago?"
Callaghan's smirk dropped (faster than his ex-wife had hung up on him this morning) and his face morphed into a villainous death glare they had seen many times before.
Phicit glanced back at Yuri with a fuming gaze, knowing they would have been way better off without his trademark sass.
And well, Yuri......for the god knows what time today, didn't give a shit.
"My personal life doesn't concern you Katsuki, and I suggest you keep that attitude inside of you at all times before I decide to finally use it as an excuse to get your entitled ass expelled," and Callaghan spat these words out as if they were Yuri's biggest fear, coming alive (which it wasn't). "Have I made myself CLEAR?!"
Yuri just laughed in the poor man's face, which looked as if it were to explode at any moment, his skin red and irritated, veins practically popping out at every angle.
"Crystal. You really are a bundle of joy, Mr. Callaghan," Yuri muttered, his words smooth and confident as he strutted past a speechless Phicit and his favorite critic. "Next time you call Susan, let me know and I'll be sure to put in a good word. She really doesn't know what she's missing."
And as if all amenities in the world were at the service of Yuri Katsuki, all the boy had to do was press the 3rd floor button and the doors opened up wide and welcoming for him, as he stepped inside and disappeared.......
His sarcasm being the only thing lingering in the lobby.
Considering Phicit took off (yes, quicker than Susan) towards the staircase, running for his life.
Luckily, his saving grace was waiting for him at the other end of the ascending staircase as he fell into Chris Giacometti's arms more than willingly.
"Oh, your timing couldn't be any better," Phicit gasped, relaxing into the well-known muscles as he felt Chris wrap around him.
"Jesus, you came out of nowhere," was all those green eyes had to say.
"Actually, I came up from the lobby, where Yuri nearly sentenced us to death via Callaghan's frustrated fists of authority!" and, as you can imagine, Phicit said this as dramatically as he could possibly manage to.
"Again?"
"Oh, will the both of you man up? I'd rather just kill myself than having to die at the hands of Callaghan," Yuri said, a little too casually as he strolled out of the elevator doors, which Chris and Phicit were conveniently in front of.
I swear he has powers Phicit thought to himself as observed Yuri, in all of his eerie perfection.
"Well, try to keep my one source of sex and entertainment out of your martyr mission next time," Chris said, giving Phicit something in between a smirk and a smile as they looked at each other.
"God, I love you."
And as Yuri, very much against his will, watched as both boy's crashed into each other's lips like it was their last night on earth, he figured he'd have to kill himself anyways.
But he stopped the lip lock session by simply clearing his throat, the couple finally settling back into reality as they tore away from each other and Chris let Phicit go.
"Anyways," Chris taunted with as he turned away from Phicit to face Yuri with sparkling green eyes. "Guess who's got a new roommate?"
Yuri could already tell that he was going to hate the rest of this conversation at the sound of "new roommate."
"No way!" Phicit said excitedly as he looked at Yuri with high hopes, both of them waiting for the answer as to who this was. "Who is it?"
"I think you met him earlier today. Victor Nikiforov?"
And it was in that moment that Yuri Katsuki vowed to himself that death really was the only option, and he would have to act as soon as possible.
He took a deep breath in, already thinking about what exactly he'd say in the opening sentence of his suicide note....
Probably something along the lines of..........
"YOU'VE GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" he practically yelled as to be heard all the way down the hallway, as he groaned out in frustration, his fist tightening around his room key and his back leaning against his own door in defeat. "First, I lose my pen, then, I get called out by Ms Fontaine, followed by a snarky comment, the first of many might I add, from Callaghan?! And now I have to live across the hall from HIM?!
I fucking quit."
And Mr. Katsuki shut his bedroom door faster than he shut the door on his patience for the platinum haired, blue eyed troublemaker who was nowhere to be seen.
"The hell is his damage?" Chris asked Phicit as he turned towards the Thai boy again, the edge of his lips curving into a concerned, lopsided grin as they stayed in the quiet hallway together.
"I think our little Yu Yu has a crush on a certain somebody."
"That's how you interpreted that? I think he wants to murder my roommate."
"Trust me on this one Giacometti. Trust me."
"Sure thing darlin'."
And Phicit was known for never being wrong when it came to these things.
✣
Yuri was driving his blue Toyota down the winding streets of Nottingham, England at 11 p.m....with his radio turned up a couple of notches and leftover raindrops tattooed on every window of his car.
He let out a small yawn as soon as he turned left onto Elmtree Avenue, his eyes scanning as the familiar houses and looming, glimmering streetlamps lighting up the dark, moonlit streets came into view.
He had driven down this street thousands of times in the same car, with the same motive, and with the same attitude....
To visit the same one story, pale blue, white-shuttered house that held vivid feelings of nostalgia and countless memories.
Most of these memories being painful to reminisce in as he finally watched the house come into view, still built at the end of the sad cul-de-sac and having no differences whatsoever.
Still the same cracked steps, the same yard that was only patches of dead grass and dirt, and the same broken flower pots sitting at the entrance of the house...........
With the antique lantern lighting up the front porch that Yuri's eyes latched on to as he stayed stuck to the driver's seat of his car.
It was always hard, no matter how many times he brought himself to come here, to swing open his door and walk up those damn stairs, with the silver key in his fingers and plastic bag of groceries in his hand.
It was so damn hard.
And this was probably because he'd walk in to see the same things, in the same places, and with the same people....
Or should he say person.
That person being none other than Yuri's dear mother, Valerie.
A mother that, to be quite honest, didn't really deserve the title of one.
Considering that she was black out drunk for all 24 hours of the day, and stuck to the couch like a fly caught up in a spider web.
That being the reason as to why Yuri felt that it was his responsibility to come over every other night to make sure she was, at the very least, alive and drunk instead of dead and drunk.
But that wasn't the only reason he came by to make a pity stop.
Time and time again, when he walked through that front door..............
He did it with the hopes that when he'd walk in, that he'd see his mom running around the kitchen, with the radio on and a smile on her face........
Cooking up chocolate chip cookies that smelled like brown sugar and comfort, with her brunette hair up in a messy bun...........
Welcoming him back home with wide open arms like all mothers were supposed to do, like all mothers did in the movies.
But that was never the case.
And it still wasn't the case when Yuri walked up the sidewalk and opened the front door to see the living room lit up by the lamp behind the couch, the couch his pathetic mother was spread out on, her hair scattered over the leather pillows and a glossy, half empty glass of rich red wine in her hand.
Make no mistake though, there was still a full bottle at the foot of the couch, ready for whenever she needed a ridiculous refill.
She drank at least a bottle-full every night in a desperate attempt to forget about anything and everything, including her 17 year old son....
Who watched her silently in the doorway as he observed every detail of her face...........
From her closed, sleeping eyes........
And pale, freckled skin........
To the washed out cherry red color of her lipstick that she was wearing, her lips stained with the leftover smells of nicotine and subpar grilled cheese.
And Yuri listened to her soft breathing as she fell deeper into a state of sleep by the second, her ears no longer listening to the rerun episode of The Simpson's that was playing on the grainy TV....
And she certainly wasn't listening, or waiting for Yuri's arrival as he gently shut the door behind himself, a sound to which she didn't move a muscle, and picked up the nearby green, crocheted blanket and walked over to her without making a sound.
He laid it over her smoothly and put a pillow behind her head, wanting to at least make it comfortable for her if she was going to make the decision to sleep on the couch all night.
"Night, Mom," he whispered delicately as he shut off the TV, no longer being able to stand the annoying background noice it created.
And before he walked away, he made sure to distinguish her lit cigarette that she had left in the ash tray on top of the coffee table..........
Along with taking the sticky wine glass from her hand and dumping it in the sink with sullen eyes and a sigh that was something along the lines of disappointed and exhausted.
Hell, maybe it was both.
He set the groceries he had brought in from the trunk of his car down on the counter, unloading one after the other lazily, not caring where they went or if they even had a place to go.
He knew damn well that each and every item was a waste of his time and limited money....
God knows that his fucking mom would just have a cig or two for breakfast, a rolled joint with Todd (who lived down the street) for lunch, and a strong ass bottle of wine for dinner.
She sure as hell wouldn't be making chocolate chip cookies for him, that's for sure.
But as Yuri got caught up in his wishful thoughts, he couldn't help but notice the jet black, elegant cat strutting across the moonlit window sill above the sink.....
It's paws patting up against the wood and its ears rubbing against the edge in excitement at the fact that his favorite person was back home.
Yuri couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face as he met with those brilliant green eyes and peachy nose, walking over to the window and ditching the groceries without a second thought.
"Hey Mav," he said as he let his fingers scratch the fluffy, black fur on the back of his ears, a warm-hearted laugh escaping his lips as he picked the cat up and cradled him in his arms.
He had named the cat Maverick after his all time favorite character from the movie Top Gun, the reckless hot shot pilot that he had worshipped as a kid, and still did to this day.....
The poster he had on the inside of his closet door back at the school dorms being proof of that.
Yuri would die before the day he'd confess to anyone, but Maverick was most definitely considered to be his sexual awakening, thus the downward (or upward) spiral into homosexuality.
He remembered being glued to the couch as a clueless 7 year old when the movie came on the TV screen and Tom Cruise's face appeared........
His big, brown eyes transfixed to the fighter jets and badass cargo outfits, smiling and laughing at every single word and every character.
It was only fate that he'd find a stray, neglected, black cat on the side of the busy road a week later....with a scratch on his nose and a desperate need for a home....
And it was only fate that the cat would be his best friend and only source of company during the rainy days and lonely nights, while his mother was out drinking at night and working during the day, without a minute to spare.
So, those depressing years of Yuri spending time alone and independent in were the years in which he had learned to fend and speak for himself.
That's why he was so stubborn, so strong, and so effortlessly invested in the well-being of himself instead of others.
It was why he took no shit from people who didn't give a shit.....
But it was also why Yuri had no idea what love was, or what family was, or what true happiness was.
Because he had never received any of those things, so how the fuck was he supposed to then learn to give?
He had only been given a stray cat, a radio, and a job at the downtown car wash at the age of 13.......
Which had given him enough money save up for being able to attend fucking boarding school at Westview.
Even though, for him, it was just school.
And at the very least, it was now his real home.
God knows he never had one of those in the first place.
So that's why, after cuddling Maverick in his arms for a good five minutes, unpacking groceries, and cleaning the house as best he could..........
He decided to grab his keys and leave with a hopeless heart and a note he left on the fridge that read........
Hey mom........
I put new groceries in the fridge and gave Maverick more cat food, make sure to feed him when I'm not here.
I also bought you hot tamales and roasted chicken, your favorites.
Make sure to put the chicken in the stove instead of the microwave, it's more safe to eat that way.
I also had a great first day back at school, should be a good semester.....
Mr. Callaghan still hates me though, and no, I still don't have a boyfriend.
Call me or come see me if you need anything.
I love you ~ Yuri ♡
And he left his run down, childhood home at the end of the cul-de-sac with a meow from Maverick and no hello or goodbye from his passed out mom.
Not that he expected one anyways.
But for some reason.......
When Yuri sat down in the front, leather seat of his car once again and slammed the door, without even bothering to turn the radio on.......
He felt destroyed.
He felt as if, no matter what he did and no matter how much he cared for his mom........
No matter how many times he pushed his cart through the supermarket aisles and dumped her wine glasses down the sink.........
That he would never, in his failure of a life, get what he had given, too many times, in return.
He'd never get homemade chocolate chip cookies, or welcoming hugs, or conversations on the couch about his day.
He'd never get anything.
And so the only thing he could do was let himself go..........
And cry.
Cry because he cared.
Because he gave since he knew what it felt like to want....
And because he really did love, even though he had never been loved in return.
And he cried against the steering wheel as his forehead leaned against it uncomfortably, just letting the tears fall down his smooth, perfect skin for once..........
His fists banging up against the dashboard in frustration as he tried to understand whether he was really fucking angry, or just sad......
And why he had put himself through hell for 17 years, along with the whole world deciding to put him through it anyways.
But he'd have to go through god knows how many more years of hell to find happiness.........
And he was more than just angry, not to mention as sad as a teenage boy could get.
Because the only thing he'd ever wanted..........
Was to be wanted.
But not all wishes can be granted.
And it seemed that his never would be, since it was too much of a fucking request.
So he endlessly continued to stay trapped in his little blue car, and in his own thoughts.........
As tears never stopped or failed to run down like a waterfall, the pain and the emotion being trapped inside of every single one of them as he wiped them off with the sleeve of his denim jacket........
And eventually leaned his head up against the back of the seat so his brown eyes could look up at the stars above, stars that were visible through the sunroof of his car.
And he wished on one of those very same stars.....
Just one more time..........
At 1 a.m. in the morning..............
That he'd, one day, be wanted.
✣
I am so sorry that my word count is literally 6,000.
HOW DID YOU MAKE IT THROUGH THIS DAMN CHAPTER!?!
And why did I make it so angsty??
In all seriousness though, I really struggled to write this chapter.
It sucked to hurt my little Yuri, my cinnamon roll.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I promise it gets better though.
But let me know what you guys think of this story so far!!
And let me know if you guys are excited for victuri, the action, and the mystery shit that's coming.
I swear you'll love it.
See ya later loves..........
~audrey