Everybody's been stared down by the enemy
Fallen for the fear
And done some disappearing,
Bow down to the mighty
Don't run, just stop holding your tongue
Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
Innocence, your history of silence
Won't do you any good,
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don't you tell them the truth?
Sara Bareilles : Brave
Chapter Twenty-Six – Liam
I saw her stiffen when he came in and I glared at him as he just stared at her but she was refusing to look at him. They opened up with the charges and stuff and then Nathan stood up to talk about the case to the jury. He talked about what happened to her and how she suffered through the years and then her parents started.
They talked about how she was always a problem child and how she never listened. She was rebellious and snuck out to party from a young age. They said how she had issues with attention and would cut herself to try to gain theirs and then say it was Than.
They said she was into sleeping around and that was how she got the bruises and said that everything between them sex wise was consensual.
I was proud of her when she held her tongue and stayed quiet but with not being too far away I could see her digging her hands into her palms and I wished I could just take both her hands in mine so she wouldn't hurt herself.
Nathan grabbed her wrist and rubbed circles to try to get her to relax a little and thankfully she did.
Addie was called up first to the stand swearing to tell the truth.
I hated that, in every case someone put their hand on that bible and swore to tell the truth and someone was always lying when they did it.
They were starting with the case against the three men.
"Addison how old were you when you first started dating Than Jackson?" he asked her
"I was fifteen." She replied calmly
"And how old was he?" he asked though he already knew
"He was nineteen; almost twenty." She told him and I closed my eyes and took a breath, he was that old dating someone that young? That wasn't right.
"Would you say you had a good relationship?" he asked
"Yes, at first things were great. He was charming and sweet."
"Would you say that you loved him?" he asked her and she swallowed hard
"Yes, I loved him." she looked like she wanted to say something else but she held her tongue
"When did things change?"
"After we were together for six months."
"Would you tell us what happened?" he asked her and she nodded
"We were at his apartment and the cup slipped from my hand and it broke. He yelled at me and slapped me and then he apologized and said he loved me, which was the first time he ever said it and I believed it and then let it go."
He used her innocence and the lack of love from her family to manipulate her from the start. I looked over at him and he looked comfortable leaning back in his seat which was very unprofessional.
"When was the next time?" he asked her
"About two months later. I was texting a guy from school about a project we were working on for science. It was about genetics and we made our fake baby based on dominate and recessive traits and then our grandchildren with another pair. My partner made a comment about how we needed to make out baby and Than called me a whore and slapped me and then when I tried to tell him it was for a project he called me a slut and hit me again."
"What did he do next?" he asked
"I showed him the paper and he told me he was sorry and didn't mean to hurt me and I said it was okay and I understood. I thought it was my fault."
"What about the third time?"
"I had to stay late at Kyle's house to finish the project because we were behind and he followed me and then accused me of cheating again. I yelled at him because I thought it was creepy and asked if he was a stalker and would make a habit of following me. He told me to stop yelling and I didn't so he hit me in the stomach."
"What did he say after he hit you?"
"That it was my fault because he told me to stop yelling at him and he was sorry and he loved me. I told him I was sorry and he put ice on it and we curled up."
"Why didn't you leave?" he asked her and she wiped a tear
"I though he loved me, no one had ever told me they loved me before and he would take care of me after he hurt me."
"When did things get worse?"
"We were together for almost a year when he thought we should sleep together but I was only sixteen and I wasn't ready. I told him I wanted to wait until we got married first and he said okay but the more I said no the more he pushed it." her voice got a little lower and this was where things were going to get harder.
I would have to sit here and hear the details and not be able to hold her or help her, she would have to do this on her own but I knew she was strong enough to do it.
"How long did he resist?"
"On our one year we went into the city and he got wine, I told him I was too young to drink but he insisted it was okay and that we should take a bath together in the tub. I was unsure because I'd never been naked in front of someone before."
Lalan gripped my hand as I closed my eyes and took another deep breath. This was killing me to hear so I couldn't imagine how she was feeling.
"What happened after?"
"I was drunk and he brought me to the bed and laid me down. He kissed me and he touched me for the first time and I told him no and I could feel him against me." her voice broke
"Where did he touch you that you said no to" he asked and he looked a little pained too
"He touched my breasts and applied pressure at my." She trailed off and looked down
"Addison what did he do next?" he asked her and she closed her eyes tight and her lip trembled
"He put pressure against my entrance and I told him no and I wasn't ready but he just kept saying how he had been waiting to be with me and he loved me and it would only hurt for a little bit he wouldn't listen when I told him no." she stopped to take a deep breath and wipe the tears away and tried to compose herself.
This was so raw to her and it was hurting her and I didn't like to see her hurting.
"Addison." Nathan said and she nodded
"He had sex with me anyway after I told him no a bunch of times and I cried while he looked happy. The next day I went and got a morning after pill and birth control so I hopefully wouldn't get pregnant. He didn't care if there was a baby but I was sixteen and definitely didn't want one."
"You were sixteen the first time he raped you, a minor?" he asked
"Objection, my client will argue it wasn't rape and legal age of consent is sixteen." Her parents said and she refused to look at them
He waited until she turned sixteen for a reason.
"What happened on your next birthday?" he asked
"My parents told me I would be moving in with him and then he would make me cook a clean and hit me when I didn't do it. For over a year it was like that and I thought we would get married one day he kept telling me it wasn't rape and that he loved me and it was okay and I believed him and each time I would feel sick but say nothing."
"What happened after a year?" Nathan asked and she opened her mouth and shut it before adverting her eyes from everyone
"Do I have to?" she mumbled
"Addison what happened?" Nathan asked and she looked up willing herself not to cry.
"He came home drunk with his friends and I went to leave so he didn't hit me and he slammed my head against the wall making me need stitches. His friends came in and I thought they would help me." she bit her lip and looked over at them and quickly looked away
"Who were his friends?" Nathan asked
"Lucas Kraft and Jason Wells."
"Do you see them in here." She nodded and pointed at them. "What did they do?" he asked her and she sighed and ran her hands over her face and she looked over at me and I nodded for her to keep going but she looked so broken.
She didn't want to do this, she didn't want to talk about it and I wished I could take her away from it all and she didn't have to.
"Addison answer the question."
"He pushed me on the bed and one of his friends gave him a knife." She started
"What next?" he asked
"He told me to be good and shut up before he cut my shirt off with the knife and took off my bra. Jason called dibs and removed his clothes and they pulled the rest of mine off. Than put the knife to my thigh and I begged for them not to and he cut my leg. I kept trying to get away even though he was cutting me but Lucas held me down and." Her voice broke and she wasn't the only one with tears in her eyes
We were all feeling for her.
"What happened Addison?" Nathan's voice strained slightly
"Jason raped me and then Lucas and then Than." She looked away from the three men who didn't look bothered by her accusation.
"And then?"
"They laughed at me and said thanks for the fuck and left. I threw up and I look pictures and went to the hospital to get a rape kit done under a different name."
"Why a different name?"
"After what they did to me I was too afraid to give my real one." There were pictures that flashed on a screen of her with her leg cut and blood dripping down her leg
"Was that from that night?" Nathan asked and she nodded
"Yes. He came home alone that night and curled up with me and asked how I was before he passed out drunk and after that he didn't say sorry like before. He just did what he wanted."
"Did you tell anyone?" he asked
"Yes. After he had hit me and the first time he raped me and then I told my parents. Each time they beat me and told me to keep my mouth shut. They reopened my stitches and I had to redo them myself." And with the mention of her parents all sorts of objections seemed to be made.
They looked at her distastefully and she continued on and I heard in detail about all the times they hurt her and how he stabbed her, how he was forcing her to marry him and then the baby and she had finally got it out for everyone to hear and she looked exhausted and heartbroken.