sometimes the best relationships have the worst moments, where you just want to fucking kill everyone including your lover- but you'd give up your heart for them as soon as they need one. that's when you know your in so fucking deep that it's truly sad, but you don't give a shit.
― my cousins drunk boyfriend last christmas right after she had to move to america for a dance program.
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UNEDITED
"Chanbean you look like shit."
"Right back at you squirrel." I said throwing a pencil at him.
Jisung dodged the pencil dramatically as if it was a bullet, smiling widely afterwards.
"You know you love me~"
I grimanced at the boy, "you know there are a lot of things I love in this world and you are not one of them."
Jisung gasped loudly, Minho giggling behind him.
"Ya sure I can name a few." Minho said pushing Jisung out the way as he pulled a chair to my table (with Jisung dramatically flinging bimself onto the ground) dropping his bag beside mine; staring fondly at me.
"What?" I asked mildly creeped out.
Minho fluttered his eyelashes, "oh nothing, loverboy! So...what are you getting Felix?"
"What am I getting him? His birthdays ages away." I replied confused, tryung to recall any important dates he had mentioned before.
Minho blinked in surprise, looking at Jisung questioning. Jisung stared back just as confused.
"Dude, what are you actually getting for Felix?" Jisung said sitting on the table opposite me, a playful grin now on his face.
I was getting a bit irritated the duo and their continuous pestering,"what do you mean-"
Minho sighed loudly cutting me off as slumped onto the table, "Fine! Don't tell us! Keep your gross couple things to yourself and don't tell your bestfriends! A boyfriend does really change a man."
I grided my jaw together in annoyance, Minho's vague questions not helping my sleep deprived mentality "You guys are pissing me off, what am I supposed to get him?"
Minho leaned back in his chair confused. "For his leaving party, come on you can think of something!"
Leaving...party?
"W-what? What the fuck are you saying?" I said standing up quickly, leaning over to Minho.
Minho stood up as well at the sudden change in aura, taking a step away from me, which made me angrier.
"What are you so angry? Did Chan not tell you?"
"Chan?! Why is he leaving?" I shouted at him hands balled into a fist.
Minho's eyes were shaking as he looked over to Jisung, who was protectivly standing beside him, staring at me coldly.
"Dude what's gotton into you? Felix is leaving for Australia in like a week, you know this."
"What the fuck no he-" I froze.
"Hi! My name's Lee Felix. I'm an exchange student from Australia and I'll be here for 6 months! Please look after me!"
This can't be happening.
We've been dating for 5 months, it's nearly been 6.
He's leaving?
"You can't be serious." I whispered quietly, looking down at my feet.
I felt Jisung push Minho behind him and he moved closer towards me, a hand on my back.
"Changbin, what's gotton into you?"
My head was filled with questions, filled with Felix's laugh and his wide smile, his freckles, his horrible Korean, the way he looks when he's eating, the way his hands feel in mine.
"What's gotton into me? I'll tell you what's gotton into me!" I said pushing him back, my chest feeling tight.
Jisung stumbled back surprised as Minho grabbed his arm.
"What's gotton into me is that he didn't even fucking say a thing to me! When we were laughing, going out, being happy he didn't once mention that he was going to have to fucking leave thousands of miles away! Ya sure the thought was at the back of my head; but do I not get a say in our relationship? Do I not get to discuss it with him? What? Did he think I would just suddenly be alright with waking up to find out he's on a fucking plane across an ocean? Ya sure Felix don't talk to me about the important shit but you can go on and on about useless things you want to do- when he knew he would have to leave!" I said kicking my chair harder than anticipated, it falling loudly onto it's side, grabbing the attention of Hyunjin who was peacefully chatting away with another student.
Jisung looked even more confused-angry even, "what are you on about? It's been 6 months! We all knew this was going to happen, don't get mad at us for you not being prepared for it."
My stomach dropped as I took a step forward, right infront of Jisung- hands dangerously moving up towards him.
"What the fuck did you just say? So now your telling me this is my fault?" I said quietly, staring him coldly in the eyes.
"What?! I never said that! I just thought maybe you should have said something instead-"
"Yo- um what's going on?" A familiar voice said, a voice which made my head spin.
I slowly turned my head over to the door to see a constellation of stars scattered on a pale face, the same unnatural blonde hair, a few strands hanging infront of brown eyes.
Have you ever heard the expression; blood boiled, but you could never imagine it.
When his smile faltered and he saw the scowl on my face, my blood burned.
I took a step away from Jisung, Minho following my every move. Hyunjin had disappeared probably to find Chan.
My skin felt scratchy and my throat was tight.
"You-" a cold, distant voice said. I only realised it was mine when Felix flinched.
"Changbin what's wrong?" He said quietly.
The therapists words of 'walk away from a situation you know you can't handel, walk away from a dilemma where you can't stay calm'
"Remember when you said, let's go watch the cherry blossoms bloom again next year- you didn't mean it."
Felix face seemed to sink in.
"Remember when you asked me if I could show you a really big amusement park we could go to in the holidays next month, you were lying weren't you."
Felix's eyes lost their shine; but a layer of gloss showed me he was about to cry.
Walk away.
"When you said let's be together forever! When you said let's never let go of eachothers hands! When you fucking said you'd be here for me if I'd be here for you- I'm still here so why the fuck are you leaving me?!"
"C-Changbin I- I was going to talk to you..."
Walk away.
I looked at my feet, counting the lines on the wooden floor, studying the small scratches on my old trainers.
Seeing Felix's tears fall straight the ground infront of me.
I looked up, staring deep into the others eyes. Hoping his dark iris would somehow engulf me in darkness to then just wake up from a bad dream.
My cheeks felt wet.
And as the teacher walked in to start first period maths, I walked away.
I walked away.
First update in weeks and it's angst.
we all knew this was coming..
sorry :)
Also in case I haven't mentioned it before; this story is kinda based on a true on. Between my cousin and her boyfriend.
Pretty much the same argument happened between them; and I used some things that were directly said.
How it ended? We'll have to see.
it's exam month for me!! sorry if my replies are late or if i just like disappear day for a day or two.
I love you all!! Thank you so much for 15k+ like wOw
yall are the reasons im so much happier this year, so genuinely thank you.
01/04/18
it's the first day of the month!
make a wish, don't be a dunce!
wish for money and wish for luck,
but all i'll wish for is your happiness for once.
💖