"As long as the baby is healthy! That is what is important!"
The lie most of the parents say whenever their baby is born. Health.. Really? Is that really the most important thing? You've got to be kidding me. If that is, then explain why my mom started beating the shit out of me when I came out to her? On top of that, blaming me for my father's death who I haven't known since I was born. Great. Where's the health? Maybe mental health? Maybe she's thinking that I have a mental disorder because I'm gay, like woah. Maybe?
No.
You've got to be kidding me.
She's crazy, I don't know if the woman in this house is really my mother. I can't even recognize who she is at all! One thing is certain though, I still care for her even if she beats the living shit out of me.
"Melissa! Get up and clean the whole house!" My so called mom shouted from the living room. "Oh dear lord, if you're real, send one of your angels to save me please.. I haven't done anything wrong and I didn't kill my father.." I mumbled and grumpily stood up from my attractive bed. "Coming mom!" I shouted back but soon regretted it as I heard footsteps coming closer to my room.
"What did I hear?!" The monster hissed through her gritted teeth after she had opened the goddamn door. "I'm.. c-coming P-Pa-Patricia.." I tried to speak with confidence but my voice came out frightened and afraid. "That's not what I think I heard.." She slowly walked closer to me while I backed up until my back kissed the wall.
"What. Is. It? Be honest." I gulped while she grabbed my jaws to look at her. "I'm... c-coming...
M-m-mom.." Not so long after I spoke, I felt something cold and hard collided with the left side of my face. It was like her heart; stone cold.
"What did I tell you to call me? Huh? You disobedient piece of abomination!" She raised her hand, about to slap me again.
"P-patricia.." I managed to say while rubbing my cheek that is now stained with her hand mark.
"Yeah, it's Patricia, not mom, okay? I don't have a disgusting and a murderer daughter. Understood?" She left but not after giving me a punch on my stomach. I still can't understand why I'm the one she blames for my father's death, I could barely open my eyes that time.
Anyways, I still fixed myself and prepared to clean the house. I started cleaning in the hallway. I cleaned like nothing has happened. This is how it goes, this is how my life goes as long as I'm not yet eighteen.. How I wish for that day to come closer. I just want to get out of this living hell.
"Melissa! Get me a water," I hastily ran to the sink to get her a water. I approached her in the living room and gave her what she wanted. I was on my way to return to cleaning when suddenly, she held my hair tightly. "Did you get this from the fucking sink?! Are you crazy?! You're gonna make me drink this?!"she said after she's done spatting the water on my face. Fuck this shit I'm out.
"I.. I'm sorry... let me just get another one.." I tried getting the glass from her but she threw it behind me. "Never mind. Clean up that mess, you useless wench." I did as told.
Sometimes I wonder, is she really my mother? If she is, then why on earth is she treating me like this? Like she just conceived me to serve her? Attend to her needs and everything?
Although she always tells me horrible things, I never become used to it. Never. Even if she told me that I'm disgusting and horrible, over and over, I still wouldn't be used to it.
Words hurt more than the physical abuse that my body is bearing with everyday. Both hurt.. but the words hurt me more..
She's my mother, she's not supposed to say anything familiar to what she's saying right now. And even if she always hurts me, physically and mentally, I can't help but to continue loving her.
After all, she is my mother.
××××
I quickly got up after I snoozed my alarm. Finally! School is back! And I'll be spending less time in this house! I call it house because it's not a home, never a home. I'll be able to avoid my mom! I'll be playing volleyball, and going to be part of the student council.. So much fun in school...
I know that most people hate coming to school, but I'm the opposite; I love everything about school.
I went to the bathroom to do my morning routine, careful with my movements to not wake my mom up. After I'm done, I looked for the new blouse and skirt given by my sponsor in my closet.
"There you go, Mel! I'm off to go!" I picked up my bag and tiptoed my way out. "God, finally, no bruises this morning." I whispered to myself as I walked my way to school. Luckily, my school is just a walking distance. I don't have money to pay the bus, and I have to save up to buy my own foods and school supplies.
Kraus Academy
At last, I'm home. Is it rude to call my school, home? It makes sense right? School is your second home is what other people say, and I might just believe strongly in that statement.
I didn't waste any second as I quickly ran inside like a bunny hopping freely in the meadow. This school is my safe haven. I feel really included in this environment and I can be just who I am in this place. Almost everyone is just so nice and accepting. I'm glad that I get to study in this all-girls school. Everyone is so kind and the headmistress is too that even some transwomen youth transfer here.
This is what I can call a home.
I saw a body about to collide with mine so I quickly retreated but it was too late. Somebody behind her accidentally pushed her and I'm too fast to stop myself, and therefore, both of our asses kissed the floor.
I rubbed my ass and stood up. I helped her up and picked her belongings. She opened her eyes and then looked at me which soon turned into glare. What a beautiful pair of green eyes. A brunette with green eyes.. I'm sure this belongs to-
"Madison.. What a great way to see you.." Any train of my thoughts was quickly cut off by the cold voice of the student council's president known as the ice queen.
"Indeed, Carroll.." I shot her a sheepish smile as I was speaking and I did my best to make it sound friendly, but she didn't encourage it. She just continued to give me her signature glare which she gives to everyone in school, even to her circle of friends who are somehow responsible of why she's mad at me right now. It's actually cute and adorable for me, but at the same time funny..
"Tell me you're sorry, Madison." She demanded.
Wait what? Tell her I'm sorry? What the hell? Seriously.
"As far as I know Carroll, you weren't looking and your friend pushed you while I was running and attempting to stop myself. Therefore, my conclusion is, it's our fault,"
Carroll clenched her fists while her friends, or must I say followers or something rather, behind her looked so amused watching us.
"And so, nobody will say sorry. We're even.." I told her firmly while giving off the most victorious smirk I could muster up.
Pride and victory continued to wash over me upon seeing both the surprise and shock clearly expressed on her face. It's rare to see Carroll feeling anything at all, so seeing her dumbfounded is really phenomenal and refreshing to watch.
After composing herself, Carroll spoke again. "Well, if you think I'll let this slide Madison, you're absolutely wrong. So I suggest you apologize," she demanded once more.
If it were any other person, I would've given to their desire already. But this person is Carroll Coleman, the ice Queen, and my middle name is piss her off at every possible times. I wouldn't waste any opportunity to mess with her.
I slowly leaned closer to her, which made her take steps away from me. I just continued moving closer to her until I am invading her personal space. I know, asshole move. I just really want to push her buttons and make her snap.
I leaned closer to her ear. "No way in hell that would happen, Carroll." I whispered, making sure to let her feel my breath on her neck.
I heard gasps and whistles coming from behind us. Well, I couldn't care less. What's important is that I get to piss Carroll off. It took minutes for Carroll to actually be composed after the little trick I pulled on her, which was again unusual for her. She's always so composed like the queen she is. She just had her eyes wide and eyebrows furrowed.
"Well fuck you Madison, you'll regret this day." She dryly said then scoffed. I just chuckle at her threatening tone. Mind you, Carroll never curses and never tolerates it under her watch but she just did curse. One might even think she despises it.
Hearing her curse feels really good. Why am I even thinking of this? I sound like some creepy old dude, geez.
"Mind your language president! The election for new officers is near, and you might lose!" I pat her shoulder and walked away, leaving her yet dumbfounded again and hopefully confused.
I went to my first class, which is homeroom with Mrs. Miller. I took my seat on the second to the back row, not wanting to socialize with the other girls in this room.
Well, this is an all girl school so what do I expect? Boys?
Fortunately, there's none of that in here. Don't get me wrong, I just don't like the way they look at girls like we're some kind of meat and they always think that women are inferior to men.
I took my notebook and wrote my advocacies for this year. I felt someone pulled their chair beside me.
"Hey, do you mind if I take this seat?" The familiar voice of my best friend echoed through my ears. "No, not at all, Skye" I replied without looking in her way.
"Whatcha doing? Something related to presidency?" I still didn't look her way, I'm way too busy thinking of a possible approach that could possibly beat my lovely competitor, Carroll Coleman.
"You're really determined to beat that brunette, aren't you Melissa?" This time, I glanced at her. "You know, you always want to beat her at everything. You're always competing with her as the top one in this class, as the class president, student council president.." She paused to look at me in the eyes.
"You know, you don't have to do those.. Let her be, people trust her more.. People think she's the best.." I frowned at her statement. "So what? You're the best for me and that is what matters!" I hugged her while she kept pushing me off.
"That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard babe," I pulled away and feigned crying.
"Oh shut it" she nudged my stomach, which made me wince. My bruises are still under the process of healing.
"Crap," Skye muttered. "Did she.. do it again?" I just nodded, not able to speak because of the lingering pain I feel on my stomach.
"I'm sorry I can't get you out of that hell.. But you know, you can always sleepover.. My parents will understand.. That's all I can do for you.."
"I don't wanna be a burden.. Also, you listening to my problems, believing me and being there for me is enough." I looked up at her and shot her a genuine smile as I hug her.
"Too much PDA," the ice queen scoffed as she pushed past me, causing me to stumble on my best friend. Skye just shrugged while I furrowed my brows. 'Why is she sitting on the back row?' Skye whispered but failed as the ice queen, herself, spoke.
"Because I want to." I shook my head and focused on writing my advocacies that was disturbed by my best friend.
×××××
Lunch came at the speed of lightning. I queued up to buy my meal, with Skye behind me. Skye paid for my sandwich and orange juice before searching for seats in the crowded cafeteria.
"Hey, I wonder, why are you looking at Carroll as a competition?" She spoke while chewing her burger. "Manners babe, and to answer your question.. I just love teasing her.."
Is that really the reason Melissa? I don't even know why I'm still continuing to fight in a war that I would only be able to win when the pigs fly.
"Why?" She asked as she took a sip on my orange juice. "It's fun.. And she pisses me off too, sometimes.." I replied while looking down on my sandwich.
"That's just fair, Mel." Skye commented after she swallowed her food. "After all, you pissed her off first, like always." She accused me while pointing a finger at me.
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever,"
"In what ways does she piss you off anyways?"
I thought of every possible ways Carroll can piss me off after hearing that query leave Skye's mouth.
"She's so intimidating.. her face shows no emotion.. She does everything perfectly.. She has this outer shell that keeps her thoughts, emotions, problems to herself.. She shuts people out.. She looks so strong and independent... Everybody's like I'll make her mine.. She's beautiful.." Skye choked on her food and I immediately handed her the orange juice.
"You say you hate her but in reality, you like her! You're crushing on her! You like Carroll Cole-" I covered her mouth.
"Shut up Skye! Somebody might hear you and spread that fake news!" I looked around but nobody seemed to notice us, thankfully.
"Mo foum mmike mer?! Mfili?!" What the hell? My best friend speaks devil. I thought of letting go of her mouth to let her speak, but I know this person all too well. She would just blurt out fake information about me liking Carroll, which is never gonna happen. Not even when the pigs start to fly.
"No, Skye," I told her as she looked at me with her puppy eyes. She really looks like an adorable mutt right now but no. "Promise me that you'll never speak of anything if I let you go. If you break your promise, yesterday would be the last time you see your 3ds."
Her blue eyes widened in utter disbelief.
"Well?"
Skye nodded and after that I let go of her.
"You're so mean, Melissa!" She whined. I just chuckled at her. "Well, I've learned from the best." I winked at her before leaving to go to the restroom.
I went to a cubicle and locked it.
Fuck, do I like Carroll? There's no way that'd happen. She's my competition. The ice queen. She hates me and so do I. But why does that not convince me? Could it possibly be..? I like her..?
The thought made me chuckle. It's impossible. Carroll is a beauty, yes, and a genius, yes, but she hates me and that's the only reason why I don't like her.. I can't like her or I don't like her? The first seems to fit my mind better than the second one..
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the door abruptly open while heavy footsteps came into this room.
"No dad! I'll never talk to her! How can you still be in contact with her, after what she's done to you?!" I heard the familiar voice of Carroll, weak and vulnerable.
This is so not her. Why did her tone of voice change so sudden? She has never done this before, she has never shown so much emotions in her voice to anyone.
I've never heard this voice coming from her and that's why I couldn't believe that this voice, is indeed, Carroll's...
But why? Why does she sound so hurt?
"I got to go dad," after that, she became quiet.
I wanted to leave, and I know that eavesdropping is bad but, I couldn't move my hands nor my feet, I am curious to why her voice was weak and vulnerable, I wanna know the reason behind that hurt voice so I opened the door and peaked.
But what I saw surprised and made my heart sank in my stomach. I felt hurt and guilty.
This is not Carroll Coleman.
°°°
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Thank you for reading!