Note: The tiniest of time skips.
Warning: Slight mention of previous sexual assault.
Will's POV:
A frown had begun to weave its way into my facial features as I watched my sister neatly folding some of her clothes and putting them into an overnight bag. "So you're not going to be here tonight either?" I questioned.
"I'm really sorry, Will. Lucas' family invited me on this little weekend trip months ago, before I'd even moved in here." Max replied, with guilt evident in her voice.
It had been just over a week since Max had begun to stay with us permanently and tonight she was leaving for the first time since then to go for a weekend break in the city with Lucas and his family meaning I was going to be left all alone. Jonathan was spending the night over at the Wheelers' and my mom had taken an extra shift so she would be working late.
"Do you think you'll be okay?" My sister enquired, laying her hand gently on my shoulder and looking deeply into my eyes with concern. "If not, I can cancel. Lucas will understand." I gazed back into the ocean-blue eyes of the girl standing before me and I understood that she was telling me the whole truth and, if I had asked her to stay, she would have done so without question.
Shaking my head, I replied. "No, not at all. Go, Max. You'll have a great time and I'll be fine, I promise." My heart sank at the prospect of being alone and my stomach began to swirl with anxiety but it wouldn't be my place to stop Max from enjoying herself so I lied.
"Only if you're sure..." She said, looking at me utterly unconvinced.
"Totally, 100,000% sure...and I like this one."
"What?"
"This dress." I told her, holding up a pale pink just shorter than knee-length dress that I thought would compliment her fair skin tone perfectly.
"You're right!" Max squealed as I gently packed the dress into her bag. "I'm honestly so glad I have a brother like you who can help me out with these kinds of decisions. I had no clue what to take."
"Any time, MADMAX." I pronounced, throwing my arms around my sister in a tight embrace and feeling her hold me back just before she had to head to the door as Lucas arrived to pick her up.
With one last look, Max's fiery mane swung around her shoulders as she turned her head to face me. "I'll see ya soon, Will...I love you."
"I love you too." I returned, a warm feeling coursing through my blood and sending a smile to my face. Max was a better sister than I ever could have hoped for in a million years and I knew I'd thank god everyday from that day forward that she had found her way into our lives.
I remained standing in the doorway until the Sinclairs' car had pulled around the corner and out of sight. As they disappeared, I wormed my way back inside and went straight to my room where I searched for one of the many mixtapes Jonathan had made me over the years. My longtime favourite song was first on the tape and, as the opening guitar riff to 'Should I Stay or Should I Go' encased and filled my bedroom, I climbed up onto my bed and shut my eyes hoping to get a little bit of rest. Though I had been healing ever since Mike had come back into my life, I was by no means mentally healthy and my nights were still filled with the torture of insomnia so I hoped against hope that I could find some reprieve in that moment and, as I drifted off to sleep, I finally did.
Furious pounding on the front door soared down the hallway and into my room, invading my sleep and startling me awake. "Who the fuck..?" I groggily moaned aloud as I slipped off my bed and sauntered through my house after turning off the tape that had lulled me to sleep. As I opened the door, all hints of drowsiness vanished into nonexistence when I saw the face of the person who'd woken me up.
Without hesitation, I attempted the slam the door shut in the boy's face but Alex threw his hand out and held the door open for himself. "What the hell are you doing?" I hissed. "Get away from me."
My bastard of an ex-boyfriend ignored my question but pushed the door open, easily overpowering me and slipped inside my house. Alex walked down the hall and straight into my room, evidently remembering exactly where it was from the many of times he'd been inside it when we were together.
Sprinting, I followed the taller boy, the one who had caused me so much pain, into my bedroom and repeated my earlier question to him, "What are you doing here, Alex? You need to get the fuck on out of my house."
Alex gazed back at me, chuckling. "You sure got feistier over these past few months, didn't you?"
"Maybe I did." I replied, glaring at him but standing a little bit straighter with pride at the same time.
"I needed to speak to you."
Now it was my turn to laugh, I let out one exasperated, mirthless cackle. "Oh, and you thought forcing your way into my home was the best way to get me to talk to you? God, you're so fucking dumb. Get out before...before I call the cops."
"Please, I know you wouldn't do that. Now calm down, Jesus Christ, I just wanna talk. I'm not going to hurt you." Alex said rolling his eyes and lifting his arms up in surrender, as if he were totally innocent.
I narrowed my eyes at the boy standing before me, "Because you've never done that before, right? Alexander Rodgers couldn't possibly be capable of hurting another human being, especially not me." I spat, every word laced with sarcasm and pure hatred.
"Look, Will. I'm sorry about all that, okay? That's what I'm here to say."
"That you're sorry? Well, thanks for that and now if you'd kindly get the fuck out of my home then that would be great."
"I get that you're mad, of course I do. What I did, it was terrible and if I could, I'd take it back. I never should have lied to you, I never should have forced you to have sex with me when you weren't ready-"
"You can say that again." I scoffed, cutting him off as I folded my arms across my chest.
"Will you please let me finish?"
"Oh, so there's more to this? I honestly don't care and I really don't want to hear it."
Alex didn't listen to a word I had to say and ploughed on through his lengthy apology but I gave up listening halfway through him listing all the things he was sorry for, as if I didn't already know what he'd done to me, as if it didn't still haunt my nightmares. My mind drifted to thoughts of Mike and I could picture him singing our song in my head and warmth settled in within my heart.
I wondered whether or not he was about done when Alex said something which dragged me back into the conversation against my will. "So, if you're willing to give us another shot...?"
"I'm sorry, what?" I asked him, dumbfounded.
"Will, I know what I did to you was wrong but do you think we could maybe get back together?"
"I don't understand..."
"I know how you feel about me and I know that you love me. If I'm being totally honest, I fell for you too. How could I not have? How could anyone spend time with you and not fall madly in love with you? I tried to deny it for so long, I told myself that the feelings were me getting too deep into the bet but as time has gone on, I've finally been able to admit it to myself: I love you. I always did. All those things I've said to you over the last few months were lies I told so my friends wouldn't hate me." Alex blurted out, looking at me with what appeared to be hope glistening in his eyes but my heartbeat quickened in anxiety and I wanted him gone.
"If this is some kind of a sick joke, then it's not funny, okay?" I hissed, feeling incredibly uncomfortable and nearing a state of panic.
"It's not a joke, Will. I swear it. I love you and I know you love me too so how about we try again? I'll be so much better for you than I was last time."
"I-I'm sorry." I stammered, sweat beginning to dampen my forehead, "I don't...I don't feel that way about you anymore. That's in the p-past."
"Come on, you don't have to lie to me." The much taller boy said, reaching out his arm to caress my cheek but I flinched and jumped backwards out of his grasp.
"I'm not lying."
"Your stupid friend isn't around, what's his name Martin? You don't have to pretend when he's not here."
"His name is Mike!" I almost shouted, fury boiling within my stomach at this boy for insulting my best friend. "And he's not stupid! He's the best person I've ever met and you have no right to talk about him that way."
"What? Why not?" Alex asked, bewildered before a look of understanding dawned on his face and his mouth dropped open. "Oh my god, I've seen the way he looks at you. That was never hard to notice when we were together, you'd think he'd make it less obvious when you were with your boyfriend but oh no. You've fucked him, haven't you?"
"That's none of your business."
"You have, you dirty little slut! You just can't keep your dick to yourself, can you? I should know."
"Like I had a fucking choice with you!" I screamed, adrenaline urging me on as I stepped towards Alex despite the huge height difference. "Get the hell out of my house, you piece of shit!"
"You're mine, Will. I made that clear to you a long time ago. Do I have to make it clear to you again?"
Drawing my arm back, I summoned all the power I could muster before slamming my fist into his smug face and I was rewarded with a sharp sting in my wrist and Alex's head flying backwards, blood pooling on his lip. "I said get out! And if you ever say anything to me, about me or about Mike ever again, I'll tell the whole school what you've said to me today. All your stupid fucking friends will know your little secret."
"They'd never believe you." He glared at me menacingly but I glowered right back with even more danger laced in my stare.
"Are you willing to take that chance? If so I'll tell them all first thing on Monday."
The boy I loathed with all of my being was silent for a moment. He then opened his mouth as if to come up with some clever retort before turning on his heel and storming out of my house and into the dark world beyond, slamming the door as he did so. As the crash of the door echoed through my empty home, the adrenaline in my bones evaporated and was replaced with crushing terror.
I slid down the wall of my bedroom and put my face in my hands as the hyperventilating and hysteria began.
I hate him...
I hate him...
I hate me.
*
NO BABY, NO! I mean, I can relate BUT NO!
Can Alex die pls?
And yep, I put this in because how could you spend so much time with my angel son and not love him? So Alex always loved him but HE'S STILL A PRICK!
That's all, folks!
Well, for this chapter, anyway.
- Niamh.