Later that night, I awoke to my wife's weight settling closer to me in bed. I would have found great comfort in that, if she had not been thrashing and groaning in her sleep.
Sitting up, I grabbed her shoulder and shook her, trying to wake her from her nightmares. She just kept kicking and grunting, the occasional, "Stop it," or "No, please," slipping from between her lips.
"Ylva!" I cried as I tried to rouse her. "Wake up, sweetie! It's a bad dream!"
With a roar, Ylva pushed off the bed and planted her knee into my chest. Her hands flew to my throat, squeezing with desperate strength. Her wild curls created an ebony shadow around her pale face, her eyes burned with ferocity, and her lips bent into a deep snarl. In the faint candlelight across the room, her white lock of hair created a ghastly shape in the rest of her tresses.
I latched around her wrists and pulled them off me. She was still half-asleep and delirious, so overtaking her was no problem. "Ylva, it was a dream," I said as I eased her knee off my sternum. "Just a dream."
Slowly, the wild look drained from her face as her coherence returned to her. Her hands fell limp in mine, and with a shocked expression, she reeled back. She tried to scurry away from me, but the bed was only so big, and, after becoming entangled in the covers, she fell to the floor.
"Are you all right, love?" I asked her as I jumped off the bed to help her get free of her woolen confines. "It's okay. You're okay."
"I hurt you, didn't I?" she asked me as I pulled the blankets away from her legs. "I started choking you."
"You weren't really hurting me." I cupped my hand to her face, thumb tracing over the too-sharp angle of her cheekbone. "Even if you did hurt me, you didn't mean it. It's okay, love. You're safe now, underneath Jorrvaskr."
"I don't feel safe. It's only a matter of time before the Dominion comes here with their war machines and bloodlust."
"They would be foolish to come here, Ylva."
"This city isn't designed to handle a massive attack, Vilkas. The Thalmor will come for us." She closed her eyes and, with some hesitation, leaned into me. I enveloped her and rested my chin on her head. Her lithe fingers grazed my bare chest, her warm breath spreading across my skin as she tried to calm herself down. "Elenwen... while I was there, she was growing desperate. Frustrated. I refused to give her what she wanted, and it was angering her. She's not thinking clearly anymore."
"Ylva, I hate to ask... but did you give anything up?"
She tensed, then shook her head. "No, Vilkas. I... I didn't. By the strength of the gods, I held my tongue."
I held her even closer to myself. "That's my girl. I knew you could do it."
"Please, don't talk about this. I need to meet with Ulfric and Marina in the morning, and they're going to ask me about this. I... I can't talk about it now."
I frowned. "What, they'll know more about it before I know? I'm your husband. You can tell me anything."
"You don't want to know what I've been through, Vilkas. This horror... it goes beyond your worst nightmares." She shook her head once more. "Don't ask me about this."
"I won't ask, but if you're afraid to tell me now, you won't be ready to speak with them in the morning. If you want them to know you're alive, I can send for them, and they can come here, but you shouldn't speak about the war until you're ready to face what happened to you. Does that sound fair?"
Met with silence, I wondered if she was going to defy me, as she normally would. Try to convince me that I was wrong, that she could handle this. But she surprised me when she murmured, "Okay."
"And that's another reason you're not ready to take up this fight again," I said as I lifted her into my arms and deposited her on our bed. "You won't even fight me."
In a small show of her former self, she scowled at me. "I thought you always wanted me to be more submissive."
I chuckled, bending over to retrieve the blankets. "Submissive, no. Less stubborn? Absolutely." Once I spread the covers over her, I crawled into bed next to her. "You are my fiery dragon, Ylva. I would never, ever dream of taking your spark away from you." Then, I kissed her forehead. "I just wish you would be more reasonable at times."
She sighed. "Why haven't you brought this up before?"
"Because, like any good husband, I've learned the value of the words, 'Yes, dear.'" I grinned at her, though she scowled at me again. "Those words are even more important when one is dealing with a hormonal mother-to-be."
"I was not that bad when I was pregnant."
"I wouldn't say you were a saint, though. Those days were rather hard on me." Before she could get angry, I kissed her forehead again. "Yes, I know they were harder on you. I'm not trying to start a fight. I am, however, trying to get your mind off the horrible things you've been through, so that you can relax and go to sleep. You need your rest, Ylva. Does that seem fair?"
Once again, she sighed, then, to my relief, snuggled closer to me. "Yes, Vilkas, that seems fair. Thank you."
I nodded and kissed her, first planting one to her forehead, then on her nose, then finishing on her lips. "I love you, dear one. Never forget that."
"Vilkas, I could never forget your love for me." She smiled before nestling deeper under the covers. "I love you, too."
As we both drifted into sleep once more, I tightened my hold around my wife and brought her closer to myself. It were as though I feared she would vanish again if I loosened my grip for even a second.
I was not about to give someone the chance to steal her away from me again.
If you want to take her, I said to myself as my dreams claimed me, you will have to take me, too.
-------
We awoke the next morning peacefully, without a worry in the world.
I snuggled close to my wife and kissed her temple gently, my nose burying itself in her thick hair. "Good morning, beautiful."
She groaned and held me tighter. "If this is a dream, I don't want to wake up. Can't we just stay here?"
"Well, we can, my love, if that is what you wish." I pulled away from her by a fraction so I could gaze into her eyes, content to lose myself in their cerulean depths. "There is nothing preventing us from lying here, just like this. You deserve a lazy morning in bed, I think."
She lowered her head and pressed the crown of her skull into my chest. "I need to talk about what happened to me."
Just like that, the room's atmosphere shifted. No longer was I joking with her, smiling with her. My body moved on its own accord, instinct taking over as I shielded her from the outside world. I held her to my chest, sitting up and hiding my face in her hair. "Ylva, are you sure? You don't have to tell me anything before you're ready—"
"I have to tell you sometime, Vilkas, and you deserve to know sooner. And... the longer I wait, the harder it will be to tell you. So... I'm going to tell you now." Her arms around me tightened. "Just don't let me go, okay?"
"I will never let you go, dear one. Never."
She nodded, then began her story. She spun a horrifying web of a tale filled with more anguish and torment than the darkest corners of my mind could have ever created. As a Companion, I had lived through many harsh trials, seen terrifying sights, lived through heartache and pain. But my wife... by the gods, she had endured more in the last month than any one person should ever go through in their entire life.
As she spoke, she worked her tunic up her stomach, showing me the marks left behind, the scars that no healing potion or spell could ever remove. I could hardly believe that she had survived all of this. To endure pain was one thing, but to withstand emotional, mental, and physical torment without ever once caving....
All I could do in that moment was kiss her new scars, trace my fingers over them, whisper to her over and over again that she was still so beautiful and strong. I hoped that my words and caresses would calm her after having to relive the horrors she had only just escaped.
As I finished running my hands over the raised mark of a whip's lash, I helped her pull her tunic back down, once again hiding the patchwork of scar tissue that made up her torso. "Every single day, I think to myself, 'There is no way my wife can grow any stronger than she already is. She is amazing and powerful.' And every day, you prove me wrong." While I gazed into her eyes, I pressed my hands to her face and brought her in for a kiss. "There is nothing in this world that you cannot beat. Gods, you stopped the end of the world twice."
She sighed. "You're right, but I don't know if I can do it again."
"Ylva, dear one, if the gods did not believe that you could endure this, they would not have placed this burden on your shoulders. If you have taught me anything over the years, it's that we are to trust that the Divines have a plan for us, that they never give us a challenge that we cannot best." I paused to lean my forehead into hers. "If there is anyone who could take on the Aldmeri Dominion and win, it's you, Ylva."
She hesitated for a moment, and I feared that she would sink deeper into the bed. But she didn't. Instead, she pulled away from me, her eyes so deep and full of adoration. "As long as I have you with me, every step of the way, I can do anything."
"I will be there for you, my love. I'm never letting you out of my sight again."
She opened her mouth to make some retort—a sharp one, no doubt—when the door behind us burst open and two small bodies threw themselves into the bed with us. The children giggled as they tackled us to the bed, shaking our shoulders and crying, "Get up! Get up! We're hungry!"
I caught the slight wince on Ylva's face as Embla pounced on her, and I quickly came to my wife's rescue. I pulled both of our children off the bed and set them on the floor, where they grumbled and groaned. I gave Ylva a glance, making sure she was all right, before turning to the twins.
"You two aren't even dressed yet," I said as I sat on the edge of the bed, arms crossed and face bent into a scowl. "You can't eat breakfast in your nightclothes. Go get changed, now."
"But Papa!" they whined.
"Do as your father says," added Ylva as she sat up behind me. She combed her hair back and away from her face. "Go get dressed. Breakfast will be waiting for you."
The pair of them glanced at me, then got up and scurried out of the room, not bothering to shut the door behind them.
"Thank you," said Ylva as I stood to shut the door so that we could get dressed properly. "For not telling them off."
"They're not ready to know what happened to you. They only know that you were gone away for a long time. I know you want to keep it that way."
"Yes, until they're old enough to know the truth. They won't be for a long time, I fear."
"And that's all right." I stepped back to the bed, pressing my hand to her cheek. "It's all right for them to be children. They don't have to grow up as we did, knowing that death could come at any time, from any place. They deserve to have some of their youth preserved." Then, I moved away from her and towards our shared dresser, grabbing a set of clothes for each of us. "Now, let's get dressed, before those hungry little beasties come back, yes?"
She smiled, even laughed a little. "Yes, let's do that."
I, too, smiled. This easy banter, gentle smiles and laughter, was a good sign. Ylva was going back to normal. In time, she would recover from her trials physically, and perhaps her mind wouldn't be too far behind. Until she fully healed, in every facet of her life, I would pray that she would be granted the strength to face the coming days.
Ylva stirred me from my thoughts when she gave me a curious look. "What are you thinking about?"
I shook my head. "Nothing. I am just happy to have you back with me."
Her gaze softened, and she got up to hug me around my waist. I noted that she only limped a little as she walked. "I'm happy to be back with you, Vilkas. So very happy."
I returned her embrace and held her for a moment. This wouldn't last long; the children would come barging back inside, demanding breakfast once more. But I was determined to enjoy this quiet time while it lasted. "I love you," I whispered into her hair, absently curling her white streak around my finger.
"And I love you." She kissed my chest before pulling away. "Let's go eat. The kids aren't going to wait forever."
"You're right, they're not." I linked my arm with hers, and we left our room, ready to face the day together.