3 weeks later, I requested Newt to help me build a wooden shelf that I would place in my room at the guild house since Gally was too busy to make me one. But he did help us collect several pieces of wood and planks during the morning. Newt didn't have to work today so he went to the guild house to help me construct the furniture.
We were now on my room, trying to assemble and hammer the pieces together. Beau was kind enough to lend us his tool box as long as we didn't destroy it. Papa told me to leave the door to my room open for some reason and he kept dropping by every minute.
"You kiddos doing 'aight?" Papa asked as he stood by the door, "If you need....you need more tools, just tell me." I smiled at him and nodded my head before he left us two alone. I locked the door since he was getting on my nerves.
After a couple hours, the 4-layered wooden shelf was finally done and Newt gave it a few wobbles to test its sturdiness.
"Well-" Newt dusted his pants-"now it's finished, what do you want to do next?"
I looked at him cluelessly and shrugged my shoulders. Chuckling softly, Newt pulled me to his chest, encircling his arms around my waist. His hand reached under my hair below my ear, his thumb caressing my cheek. He drew me to his lips, breaths mingling, hearts fluttering. My arms then reached up and tangled around his neck. Carelessly, Newt carried and placed me on my nightstand, knocking off some of my stuff in the process.
We froze for a moment as the noise of the clutters were louder than we expected. I pursed my lips while glancing at the door nervously.
"I don't think anyone heard it." Newt whispered. I smiled and cupped his face, running my lips up his jaw till I finally land a loving and intense kiss on his warm lips.
As our make-out session became more heated, Newt's touch was starting to turn fiercer; harshly nipping my neck and groping my chest or stroking my thighs. I bit my lips to stop the moans from escaping my mouth. In a frenzy, he tore off my flimsy shirt and tossed it on the floor.
"(Y/N)?!" I heard papa call from downstairs and I quickly motioned for Newt to stop, covering his mouth while staring anxiously at the door.
"Why do I hear a rip?" Papa shouted, "You b-b-better not be hammering anything that's not a damn shelf."
"Ooooh they doin' nasty frickle frackle!" I recognized Edwin yelling this time.
"Ed! Shut the fuck up!" Papa yelled back.
"My sleeves got caught on a nail!" I reasoned while trying to hold in my laughter. Newt laughed softly as he slowly undid my bra. "Newt!" I whispered angrily. "Are you jacked? What if....what if someone knocks?"
"You're right," He smiled awkwardly, "Sorry about your shirt."
I pecked a kiss on his nose before clasping my bra back and getting off the nightstand. I went to my wooden locker and took out a new shirt. Newt watched as I slipped it on and I let him be. This boy has already seen everything so why bother hiding? We've been doing the deed every night ever since we first did it at the shower.
We had lunch at the guild house that day since Major Lonn insisted on Newt joining us in our meal. Finn cooked since Mrs. Tram was still busy at the main kitchen and Gus was still pruning the orchard. Major Lonn, Papa, Beau, Edwin, Finn, Newt and I were now eating and happily chatting with each other.
"You kids better be careful when you venture the highlands," Major Lonn warned, "Yesterday, I found several bear tracks in the western part of the island."
"Bear tracks?" Finn asked worriedly.
"Yes Finn. Bear tracks." Beau rolled his eyes.
"We also found shedded snakeskins." Major Lonn added.
I continued eating my food quietly as I listened to them. They occasionally asked Newt several questions about his life and the blond boy kindly answered them. They were practically impressed especially when he told them about how they rescued Minho from the last city.
"You have no idea how relieved I am that WCKD is over. Those shitlings deserved to rot in hell." Edwin stated.
The room fell silent for a few seconds before Finn decided to change the topic. "So are we serious about moving up to the mountains then?"
I glared at Finn and wished he'd just shut up. I was trying as much as I could to dodge that topic since the thought of relocating to a place far from my friends annoyed the living klunk out of me.
"Maybe. Maybe not." Papa finally answered.
I gulped silently while trying not to get distracted by my thoughts. This was one of the downsides of Quantum. They just prefer being isolated from people. It's like they have their own way of living and the rest couldn't qualify with their lifestyle.
~
That night, after dinner, I decided to visit the rock with the carved names of the people who never made it to the Safe Haven. It was still weird seeing my own name there although I told them not to remove or slash a line on it since I was practically dead inside. I traced my fingers on Chuck's name. He was still so young and vulnerable. Yet no one was able to save him.
"Maya."
I froze for a second before looking at the side. Thomas was standing there, a hatchet on his hand. He probably just finished with whatever he was helping at the construction. I returned my gaze on Chuck's name.
"You miss 'em?"
"I thought you wanted to stop talking about them?" I questioned.
"Well I ugh.... I didn't re-"
"Thomas, make up your mind!"
"Look, it's hard, ok? I want to forget. I'm trying. But I don't think it's fair. For them."
"I also try to not think about them," I admitted, a bit ashamed, "But it's hard. They were a big part of us. Still are."
"What if we were given the chance tonight, to have all our memories erased, would you do it?"
"I don't think anyone here has the right equipment to e-"
"Maya you know what I mean."
I exhaled heavily, unsure on what to respond. Of course there were so many moments in my entire life that I wish never existed. The painful ones, those that kept me up during the night. I truly wanted them forgotten.
If possible, and we somehow could pick which memories to erase and which ones to retain, then I would most likely do it. Now that I've thought about it, it wasn't all misery back at the glade. The gladers made life less depressing. If only all of us made it out in the end.
It fell silent for a while. Only the faint howlings of the evening breeze could be heard around the peaceful surroundings.
"Did Teresa....did she know that I uuhhm...." I couldn't even bring myself to say what was on my mind. "Did she think....y'know...."
"Teresa didn't see you in the Berg," He muttered sadly, "She didn't need anyone to tell her. She knew."
"I just couldn't help it. I had to ask Newt. He told me that....he told me that she hesitated. She could've made it."
"Maybe she just realized her betrayal just to find a damn cure wasn't worth it."
I stared at Teresa's name. I wasn't being delusional or anything, but Thomas could be right. Afterall, Teresa did tell me that she'd do everything so she could fix me even if I never asked her too. She and Thomas were my only friends back at WCKD's lab and no matter how grouchy or antisocial I was, they were always there for me, even giving me the opportunity to meet Newt and the other subjects. When she betrayed us, I kept telling her to stop using me as an alibi but deep inside, I was also hoping that she'd find a cure. When they told me about how she never made it, I felt guilty.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's not your fault," Thomas replied as he patted my back once, "You came back. You got cured. She didn't die in vain."
"B-but you love her. And she's not here because of me."
"And blaming yourself is not gonna bring her back."
I pursed my lips and clenched my fists, shifting my gaze on Alby's name. Thomas was right. No matter how hard I blamed myself for the loss of my friends, they're never coming back. They were gone but that didn't mean we also had to stop living.
Thomas spoke again. "Remember when I kissed you before you entered the maze?"
"Remember when I slapped you because of it?"
He scratched his head. "Hell, that still didn't stop you though."
"Why don't you go kiss Brenda or Minho?"
"Maya, I'm not gay."
"I didn't say you were," I responded dryly, "What I meant was that you're open to, to both parties." Thomas made a sour face and shook his head widly.
I knew Thomas loved Brenda. But right now, he was just confused. Maybe because he still misses Teresa? Love is weird. But then again, so was Thomas.