When I got a call the next day, from the hotel manager letting me know that there was a visitor waiting for me, I knew that it was one of the boys.
I requested to have him sent up to the room.
It took forever, but when I did fall asleep last night, I was still in my hospital gown; mostly because it was so hard to get changed while wearing this sling. I fell asleep clinging to the wedding dress, unable to let it go.
What remained of my makeup was an absolute mess, while my hair was in tangled knots.
Just like my appearance, the room was a disaster.
There was no denying the panic attack that took over me last night.
The evidence was on the walls and floor.
Once I got off the phone, I rolled onto my side, curled up.
I had barely slept last night and when I did, I was forced to go through nightmares of Liam wandering around, crying out for me.
It was horrible and I'm unsure of whether or not the events have been processed in my head.
I was in two different lives.
In one, he was here, he wasn't missing.
In the other, I couldn't move, because it hurt too much to think of what could and might have already happened.
There was a knock on the hotel room door, but I didn't even move
I heard the door open and footsteps approached.
"Gracie?" I glanced up and saw Niall standing over the bed.
"Hi" I said, my voice raspy and breaking.
I felt the bed dip in and saw him sitting beside me.
"I know this isn't the trip you had planned" he said, shaking his head.
I felt my eyes water "No one knew why we were here"
"What do you mean?" he asked.
I took a deep breath and held my hand up, showing the rings on my hand.
"You two got married?" he asked, shock in his voice.
"We were leaving the ceremony when the accident happened"
"Everything will be alright. I know you're feeling hopeless right now, but there is no way your story with Liam ends here"
I started crying "He might be dead, Niall"
He reached over and pulled me to him "He's not; He can't be dead"
I could tell by his tone that the idea of Liam being dead wasn't just an idea.
He knew that there was a chance that Liam could be gone forever without any chance of changing it.
"I just know that deep down, Liam is alive" he said, rubbing my shoulder.
I sniffled, knowing that my tears were running through his shirt.
"Come on, you need to get cleaned up" he said, helping me up "What happened to your shoulder?"
"I dislocated it in the accident" I turned my head so he could see the left side of my face "I got banged up pretty bad"
"Is there anything I can help with?"
I shook my head "I think I shower with one arm"
He nodded "I'll clean up the room" He leaned against the wall "Take you time; I'll also call around and see if any progress has been made"
I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, really seeing my appearance for the first time.
My hair was tattered and my makeup was smeared on my face.
I looked like death.
I cringed at that thought.
No, not death.
Just not death.
I got out of the hospital gown and laid it across the counter.
I stood in my underwear, waiting for the water in the shower to get to a good temperature.
I stepped in the shower, feeling the warm water hit my skin.
I could hear Niall talking from the other room.
"Well I just want to know that people are taking this seriously and not just sitting on their asses!" he yelled.
I shook my head and washed my hair, carefully, wanting to just scrub the problems away.
After washing my body, I went to rinse the soap off and stood under the shower head, turning the heat on.
I kept my head down, feeling the water burn against my upper back.
I kept turning the heat up, feeling it hurt my back.
It was a bad substitute, but at least it distracted me from the pain of Liam.
When I did finish, I carefully wrapped a towel around my body and noticed that my back was rather red, as I looked in the mirror.
"Niall" I called.
He walked in "Yeah?"
"Can you get me something to change into?"
He nodded and hurried back to me, handing me some pajama shorts and one of Liam's shirts "What?"
I pulled myself away "That's Liam's shirt"
"I can get a different one"
"No" I held the shirt close to me "It smells like him"
After Niall left, I struggled to get changed into the clothes and it took far too long just to do something this basic.
I walked out into the bedroom and saw Niall on the phone again.
He groaned and hung up, tossing his phone on the bed. He cleared his throat when he saw me "Sorry, they're just um, being frustrating"
"I get it"
He sighed "They have your number from last night and one of the officers said he'd call if anything was heard"
"I was told that last night"
He sat down on the bed and ran his hand through his hair "This is ridiculous! They should be out finding Liam, not waiting for something"
I looked down, feeling upset.
He noticed and took a deep breath "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that"
I sat down beside him "I understand. When they tried escorting me here, I put up a fight and was mad that they weren't doing anything"
He wrapped an arm around me "Everything will be alright. He's alright, nothing bad has happened, nothing bad will happen"
I looked down "Then where is he?"
"Please don't think like that" he pleaded.
"I'm trying not to, but I'm also looking at the facts."
"There are no facts, just stupid, ignorant theories that will be proved wrong" he said, taking my hand and squeezing it.
I nodded, feeling numb.
He shook his head "Don't do that"
"Do what?" I asked.
He looked at me "Don't pull into that shell, just to get by. You can't be emotionless"
"I can try" I muttered.
He nodded.
I groaned "Something just isn't right!"
I stood up and ran my hand through my hair.
"What?" he asked.
"Give me the phone" I said.
He handed me the phone and I took the cop's number from the bed.
I quickly dialed it and in and let it ring, putting it on speaker.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Yes, this is Gracie Dixon; I mean Gracie Payne" I said, shaking my head.
Niall put his hand on my shoulder.
"Mrs. Payne, as we told your friend, we are doing everything we can to get this situated" he said.
I sighed "But how hard can to be to find him?"
"Harder than you know" he said, annoyance filling his voice "Since you were trapped in the car, we have no idea which way he actually meant. You were in an area that was surrounded by forests"
"He's practically missing though" I said, shaking my head "There should be search parties"
"We are trying as hard as we can" he said.
Niall shook his head "Really that's it?"
"Yes, we're working" he said.
"Yeah, but you're not working hard enough" Niall said, annoyed.
"I really don't like your tone" he said.
Niall rolled his eyes "Yeah, well I'm really don't like cops that are lazy"
I looked at Niall "Don't make it worse"
Niall took the phone "Give me a moment, he said to me.
I nodded and put my head in my hands.
"Look, Gracie is an amazing girl; she deserves the world. And her world happens to include Liam Payne, alive. People are going to eventually find out about this, and if something happens to him, then it will be pointed at you" he sighed "I do not want her going through anymore grief than she already has"
"I'll do what I can. We have more people out there and we'll call you when we get word from one of them" he said.
"Thank you" I said.
Niall hung up and looked at me "Liam will be found."
I sat in bed, while Niall finished cleaning up the mess I had made. After what felt like hours, my phone rang.
"Yes?"
"Mrs. Payne?"
My hands shook "Is everything alright?"
Niall stood, watching me.
"Mrs. Payne, we found a body" he said, sorrow filling his voice.
"Mrs. Payne, we found a body" he said, with sorrow in his voice.
I was silent, I couldn't move.
"We need you to come identify it, at the coroner's office, near the station" he said.
I hung up and Niall looked at me concerned.
My heart sank and I dropped the phone.
Niall quickly picked up the phone "What's going on?"
I couldn't think.
I couldn't move.
I couldn't breathe.
Niall held me tight.
I just stared ahead, unable to process everything.