I pace around the waiting room nervously as I wait for the doctor to leave dad's ward and tell us what's wrong.
"Paige, take a seat, calm down. Your dad will be fine. "
Calm down? How can I calm down when my nerves are on fire ? When I don't even understand what's going on anymore.
"Why are we even here, Aunt Hilda? Why didn't we just take him to the hospital mum works at? It would have been better there. Why isn't mum here? Where is she? "
Right now in my head, little monsters are piercing needles all over it.
"Sweetheart. You need to calm
down, " she says, pulling me into an embrace.
Tears start spilling from my eyes. What if something bad happens to dad? I'm tired, I'm just tired.
"Are you the family of Mr. Benson?" A
voice asks behind us.
"Yes we are. What's the situation with him, doctor?" Aunt Hilda asks.
"Please come with me, "he says.
My leg trembles as we follow him to his office.
"Have a seat, " he says.
We both seat down and he smiles. He's smiling? That's a good thing, right?
"Mr. Benson is fine. We just have to keep him under our care for a while. What he suffered was a case of high blood pressure. It's a good thing he arrived here when he did. "
The doctor is talking but I can't really make out what he's saying. Something about high blood pressure, stress, diet, slight injury to the head it's all jumbled. The only thing ringing in my brain brain is that my dad is okay.
"Paige Benson? " The doctor calls.
I nod because I don't even know how to speak right now.
"He requested to see you first. "
I nod again. My dad is okay. Nothing bad will happen to him.
"Now Paige, remember not to bring up anything strenuous. Your dad need maximum rest and care right now. "
I nod and start heading for the ward. Dad is lying on the bed, a bandage wrapped around his head.
"Sweetheart, you're here. "
The tears start spilling again, I sit on his bed and hug him slightly because I'm afraid it will hurt if I hug him the way I want to.
"Dad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I screamed at you. I'm so sorry, I just lost it. I don't want to lose you. Are you hurt? Does your head hurt."
He pulls me into a tighter embrace, the one I was scared of giving him. His hands slightly run through my hair and he says, "I'll be fine. Why did you do that, sweetheart? "
I'm not mad anymore that he's pretending not to know what I was talking about. I'm not mad at him, I just want him to be okay. I want my dad to be away from this hospital ward.
I shake my head, "I don't want to talk about it."
I don't want to put him under stress.
He cleans my eyes with his hands, " Sweetheart, stop crying. I'm not in pain. "
"Why were you taking pills, dad? " I ask feeling guilty that I didn't ask earlier.
"I thought you've grown so big and didn't care about your old man anymore. I'm happy you're proving me wrong. "
Tears of guilt start spilling again.
"Dad. I love you, " I say.
"I know. I love you too, sweetheart. Sweetheart, I didn't just return home because I wanted to spend time with you guys. I mean that's a reason but that's not the only reason. "
Is this it? The part where he tells me about the other woman that he brought here. Was she the blonde I found him with in the living room? Those needles In my head are also in my heart now.
"What other reason? " I barely hear my voice as I speak.
He let's out a breath and holds my hands. He's about to break my heart, isn't he? It's okay, my heart should be getting used to all the hurt by now.
"I have been having cases of severe headaches and chest aches for a while. But I over looked it, I thought I was just stressed. One day, I passed out during a business conference and I was taken to the hospital. I was informed that my blood pressure was very high. I was there for a while, it was a critical case. Your aunt, Hilda was there with me. I urged her not to inform you guys because I didn't want you guys to worry. " He stops speaking and squeezes my hands.
"My business associates tried to make me take a break from work but I refused it, " he continues speaking, " It happened again, I passed out again. The doctor said I was going through too much stress. My business associates as well as your aunt, Hilda made it compulsory for me to go home for a few months and regain my composure. Your aunt came along to make sure I wasn't doing anything strenuous while at home. So I just decided to use the opportunity to get to spend time with my family more. "
There's a heavy weight in my chest now. My dad was meant to avoid stress and yet I triggered his stress.
"Dad, I'm so sorry. I really didn't know. "
"Sweetheart, please don't cry anymore. I'm just stressed, I'm not dead. "
We embrace each other again. I sob while he soothes me.
"You should have told us, dad. "
"I know and I'm sorry. You guys worry too much especially your mum, I don't want you guys to over worry. "
What if I had lost him? My chest.I don't even want to think about that.
"Paige, why have you been so mad at me? Why are you storing up anger in your heart for your old man?"
"I found out about her, dad. "
"Found out about who? " That look is on his face again, the one where his forehead wrinkles and his eyebrows meet.
"You can stop pretending, dad. I found out about your lover," my eyes hurt from the tears, my throat burns from the sobs.
"Baby. What in the world are you talking about? "
"Dad, please stop. I know you love another woman. I read your text messages. "
His eyes meet mine without wavering. I can't quite point my finger on what they are portraying as absolute silence engulfs us. Say something, I plead with my eyes, say something that will lessen this ache in my heart. I know he knows what my eyes are saying, he responds with his eyes but I don't know what they're saying.
"Call me your aunt, Hilda, " he finally says.
A change of subject? Really? I nod anyway and return with her.
"David. I'm so glad you're okay, " Aunt Hilda says, pulling him into an embrace.
"Hilda. Can you please show Paige the text messages we've been exchanging?"
The look on Aunt Hilda's face is same with mine, why is dad asking her to show me their messages?
I receive the phone from her.
Dad- That's one of the reasons I'm working from home now. I brought you here because I really want to make up on the times we've spent apart. I love you and I'm really glad that you're around me right now.
Aunt Hilda - I love you too so much, You know that. But what about your family? What will happen when they find out your main reason for coming home?Have you told them already?
Dad - Dad - No. I haven't told them anything but it's nothing to worry about. Don't worry, with time I'll let them know. No matter what happens, always remember that I love you.
Stupid is an understatement for how I feel right now.
I look from the phone to dad and to Aunt Hilda.
"What's going on here? " Aunt Hilda asks.
"Paige thinks I'm cheating on her mum with you, " dad says, hurt clearly lacing his voice.
There was never another woman. I've just been a very silly judgemental daughter.
"Paige love , why would you think that? " aunt Hilda asks.
"At least, I understand why she's been so cold towards me, " dad says.
I'm glad that this was all a misunderstanding but I'm hurt by the way I handled the situation. I'm hurt for saying all those things to dad, accusing him of something he never did. If I had just calmed down and talked to him about it, he probably wouldn't have been in the hospital right now.
"Paige, I love your mum so much. I value my family too much to do anything that would tear us apart. I love you guys, I could never cheat on your mum. She's more than enough of me. You guys are my life, without you guys I'd be lifeless. Why would I want to do something that will keep you guys away from me? Why would I want to cause my own death? "
"Dad. Please forgive me," As I speak I clean the tears away from my eyes and try not to look at him.
He pulls me into an embrace again.
"I love you guys, I'll never do anything like that to hurt you guys. Next time there's a misunderstanding, just talk to me okay? "
I nod in response as I sob against his chest.
The door opens and mum enters the ward with Phoebe. What follows next are explanations and tears. My family is whole again, we were never even on the road to ruin.
Over reaction, quick judgement, those are the things I should have avoided. I should have just talked to dad instead of letting this anger continuously build up in my heart. Now I wonder, if I hadn't acted up and screamed at dad would he be here? Did I put my dad in the hospital ?
I'm so sorry, dad. Please forgive me, I plead again with my eyes. This time I understand his response, his gaze locks with mine and without saying a word he tells me that I'm forgiven, he tells me that he loves us and would never hurt us in that manner.