Earl Fairbloom took a deep breath and tried to rein in his emotions as he looked his daughter whom was unconcernedly swinging her short little legs back and forth on the edge of her chair, directly in the eyes and asked for the third time, "What exactly did you give them, Marysol?"
"This again?" Desmia sighed as she gave a small shrug. "Like I said before, all that was in that pitcher was a purifying tonic."
"A purifying tonic? Tonic?!" The earl had to restrain the urge to grab her by her narrow shoulders and shake her back and forth like a rag doll. "They've been unable to stop relieving themselves for nearly two whole hours! Tell me, dear daughter, what kind of purifying tonic does that?!!"Since when did the words "purifying tonic" become synonymous with the word "poison"?!
"The kind that's doing its job," Desmia answered as she riffled through her research notebook. "This particular tonic was designed to cleanse one's body of toxins and other potentially harmful maladies in one fell swoop."
She closed her notebook and motioned Earl Fairbloom to step closer and gave him a reassuring pat on the arm. "In other words, esteemed father, there is no need for you to worry about the men from the ducal house; they're not in any critical danger or anything. Once the tonic finishes with its task, their hyperactive bowel movements should cease. Not only that, their bodies will feel lighter, cleaner and more energized than ever before. That's why the note I left read, "Drink this for improved health."
She made a faint humming sound as she casually added, "At least in theory anyways."
"In theory?" The earl's countenance darkened. "You mean, you aren't completely sure? There's no guarantee that they'll be entirely fine after this ordeal?"
Desmia widened her eyes innocently as she hopped off the chair. "Why, can anyone ever be completely sure when it comes to this type of thing? Any given substance can react differently depending on the person taking it and furthermore, this formula is untested!"
"Why would you give them something that was untested?!" Seeing Desmia saunter towards the door unaffectedly, he hurriedly shouted, "Wait! Where are you going?!!"
"Town," she replied as she increased her speed. "We're running behind schedule with the business plans because of that little detour you made me make this morning. Since you'll probably need some people to stay behind to monitor the situation here, I'm not wrong to assume that it'll just be Kale and I? No matter, I reckon the two of us will be more than sufficient for the first step in the plan anyways. Please be a dear and write down any other notable reactions from my precious test-ahem I mean the precious guests, in the time that I'm gone, would you?"
"You can't just leave!" he voiced in distress.
"Oh, but you see, father, I must!" Without halting in her steps, Desmia crooked her head towards the earl and feigned a troubled expression. "Opportunity waits for no one! Poverty too for that matter! If you're not prepared, you'll be at a complete loss! It's a race against time! Is life not too short for us not act on our ambitions? What are humans if not ambitious?"
The earl grew increasingly bewildered in the face of his daughter's blathering. She's clearly very young, only seven years old, but why does her manner of speech oftentimes resemble that of someone who has lived a long life and weathered countless tribulations? Now that I think about it, isn't her breadth of knowledge unheard of for a child as well? Is it because she's a self-proclaimed prodigy? Are all prodigies supposed to be this eccentric?!
The longer he dwelled on this matter, the further he spiraled into confusion.
When Earl Fairbloom finally gathered his thoughts, he suddenly realized that he was now the only one left in the room. It was only then that it dawned on him that his crafty daughter had successfully used drivel as a means to escape from his interrogation.
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Two hours later, Desmia walked through the streets of Elkan with a wrinkle embedded between her brows.
In the end, despite how easily she evaded the earl, she understood that it would not have been right for her and Kale to actually venture outside the estate without the earl's explicit approval; thus, after she had finished making the necessary preparations to head out, she materialized before the earl to negotiate. At the conclusion of their negotiations, they were granted permission to leave but on one condition—they would have to take a certain person with them.
Desmia turned to the small silver haired boy who was walking between her and Kale and glowered when she recalled how Earl Fairbloom had cornered her into taking him along.
"You caused Lord Ferris' servants to become ill so now there's no one to look after him, which means he's now your responsibility," the earl had declared. "If you're insistent on going to Elkan today then you must let him accompany you. If you don't want to attend to him, then you must stay at the manor and watch over the three gentlemen that are out of commission until they're well enough to care for the young lord."
At this point, he had unfurled a wide smile that Desmia could only view as hateful as he added, "By all means, if you are against these options then Tarragon said he's still very much willing to recite the thirty volumes of The Complete and Unabridged History of the Kreston Kingdom from Founding to Present Day to you, in addition to the ten volumes of Agricultural Practices for the Fledgling Farmer, and the five volumes of Everything You Need to Know About Damasks and Other Weaving Techniques."
Her eyes flashed darkly. I should've brought my guard up when I saw Tarragon! Must one person be able to come up with some many schemes? What's with his fixation with recitation anyways? Is he a steward or a schoolteacher?! And for the love of gods, which idle and bland a**hole thought it'd be a good idea to sit down and write five whole books on weaving techniques?!!
Just as she was beginning to entertain a daydream about summoning the author of the weaving books, just so she could shove a temperament altering potion down his throat to make him less boring, Kale, whom had remained quiet due to nervousness, spoke up. "L-let's stop here."
Desmia directed a questioning look at him. "Why?"
"B-b-because we're really close. Once we turn the corner, Sherry's shop will be visible." Kale moved himself away from the open road and plastered himself close to the side of the nearest building for support. "I-I-If we're really going to do this, I'll need some time to calm my heart."
Desmia noted his clammy hands. "You're still this shaken even though we've reached this point huh?"
She passed him her handkerchief– the one that Saffron had washed free of blood–so that he could wipe his hands. Then she coolly leaned back against the wall next to him and crossed her arms. "This is why you're always losing out to other people at the critical moments, my hopeless uncle."
As usual, as a precaution against those who harboured unsavoury intentions, they had disguised themselves before their departure; thus, Desmia was once again masquerading as Kale's nephew and dressed in commoner's clothing.
Not to be left out, Ferris too was dressed in commoner's garbs. Initially, Desmia had thought that it would have been amusing to see him dressed as a country bumpkin, so she had given him an old straw hat; a loose beige shirt that had to be secured with a piece of rope; a pair of brown pants that had many unraveled seams; and worn brown boots to wear. Yet, after seeing him in the entire ensemble, she could only purse her lips.
So ridiculously incongruous was his shabby clothing to his gossamery appearance that instead of blending in, he actually became more eye-catching. It was to the point that Desmia could see the words "Please rob me for I am a wealthy aristocratic child in disguise" written all over his face.
Following this, she decided that the younger boy would be dressed in an unembellished white shirt; black shorts and suspenders; white socks and black shoes; to resemble a servant from a well-to-do household.
"Someone who's already happily engaged wouldn't understand how I feel," responded Kale in a mopey tone.
Desmia tilted her chin up angrily while simultaneously lifting her knee, ready to strike. "You want to say that again? Who did you say was happily engaged?"
Kale immediately shrank back. "N-no one, young mistress."
"Hm?" Desmia gave Kale a sharp nudge with her well-positioned knee. "What was that, Uncle Kale?"
"Sorry, I-I meant R-Rhys!"
At the side, Ferris whom wasn't familiar with the way that the members of the Fairbloom household interacted with one another, was blinking frantically. The poor boy was unsure of whether he needed to interfere and also how he'd be able to deescalate the conflict if he did so.
Desmia clicked her tongue in distaste as she gave him a few more nudges. "Hmph. You better hurry and pull yourself together."
"U-understood."
"That means speaking without a stutter!"
"Yes!"
Anxious to diffuse the tension between the two, Ferris tugged at Desmia's sleeve to divert her attention and carefully inquired, "Um...big brother Rhys, what...what exactly are we pulling ourselves together for?"
This question gave Desmia pause.
Because the younger boy had been so well-behaved, from the time he found out that they were going to town to the time to the present, he had obediently agreed to do everything she told him to do. Not only that, not even once did he think to even question her arrangements. Even when she had given the him who was a pure-blooded aristocrat whom grew up in the lap of luxury, a piece of rope for a belt, he hadn't even muttered a word of protest. Instead, he had earnestly asked how the rope should be tied and asked for help affixing it to his waist. As a result of these actions, she had assumed that he did not care to know the purpose behind their trip and hadn't bothered to explain the details.
"We're matchmaking," replied Desmia after a moment.
"Matchmaking?" echoed Ferris slowly.
"Yeah. We're going to be matchmaking two people." Thinking that perhaps Ferris wouldn't know what the term meant, she elaborated, "It's when you arrange for two people to get together."
"Get together?" Ferris repeated these two words in his head for while before his eyes started to shine with excitement. "...You mean we're...we're going to help people throw parties?"
"No. What? I didn't mean "get together" in that sense, idiot." Desmia reached out and pulled at Ferris' left cheek. "I meant "get together" as in become a couple. A loving couple. Like your mother and father, for example."
Ferris blinked slowly, seemingly not caring that the delicate and fair skin on his face had turned noticeably pink from her cheek pulling. "Oh....a loving couple...would that be like me and you too, big sister?"
"No!" Desmia scowled as she reached for his other cheek and gave him a succession of fierce pinches on both cheeks. "Get those awful thoughts out of your little head, will you!" The only "couple" we are is a couple of mortal enemies! We're destined to be antagonistic towards one another until the end of time!
"Both you and Kale need to focus!" she sternly lectured. "Don't forget what I told you earlier!"
"I won't."
Desmia switched from pinching his cheeks to squishing them inwards with her palms. "Recite it back to me. What exactly did I say?"
"No matter what happens...don't contradict you...don't speak out of line...and don't act suspiciously...even if what you end up saying isn't true," he solemnly recited back.
"So it seems you were listening properly." Despite Ferris' perfect response, Desmia enjoyed the feeling of squishing the boy's cheeks and making it so he would be forced to make a funny face, so she did not remove her hands.
"Rhys!" At last, Kale had remembered that the earl had specifically instructed him to keep the young mistress from being disrespectful to Lord Ferris. "You mustn't bully him! If you keep touching him like that his face will hurt! Especially since he just lost that baby tooth!"
Desmia shot Kale an annoyed look but still released the younger boy. "Tch. Why are there only a bunch of useless guys around me?"
"You know, sometimes your words can be really hurtful, nephew," commented Kale gloomily.
"Well, I'm sorry for saying the truth, uncle," retorted Desmia in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "In any case, if you're relaxed enough to lodge a complaint with me, you should be ready, am I right?"
Kale's pupils trembled but before he could formulate a reply, Desmia was already sprinting ahead of him.
Left with no choice, Kale apologized before grabbing Ferris' hand and dashing after her. "Young mis-! Rhys! WAIT!"
After turning the corner, Desmia spotted a small bookstore named "Deshemer's Books" towards her right and speedily advanced.
Upon entering the store, Desmia was surprised to find that despite the size of Deshemer's Books, they were not lacking in merchandise as not only were there books densely but neatly packed into each of store's three large floor to ceiling bookshelves that rested against its walls, but also books lining every shelf on the five rows of tall bookshelves in the center of the store as well.
Walking further into the store, her attention was swiftly captured by the pleasing floral scent that lingered in the air. With her keen interest in herbology, she accurately identified the scent to be of lavenders.
Out of habit she closed her eyes and deeply inhaled a few times to appreciate the uniquely soothing smell. When she opened her eyes, she was startled to find a smiling young woman with immaculately combed hair arranged in a side bun standing in front of her.
F***! My senses are so dull as mortal! I didn't even realize that someone had gotten this close to me!
"Greetings, esteemed customer," the young woman opened cordially. "Welcome to Deshemer's Books. My name is Sherry. How may I assist you?"
Ah! She's the one!
Just as Desmia opened her mouth to speak, the front door furiously shook as Kale burst inside with Ferris in tow. "STOOOOOOP!"
Desmia narrowed her eyes as she shifted to face Kale who was hunched over and trying to catch his breath and Ferris who appeared to be rattled but unharmed after being pulled along. Smooth, Kale. Real smooth. "You doing okay there, Uncle Kale?"
Kale held up a hand to indicate that he needed a moment. When he was at last able to return to an upright position, his eyes happened to meet Sherry's chestnut coloured eyes. Immediately, he froze in place.
For a moment, all he could do was awkwardly produce some incoherent sounds with a florid face. Although a simple "hi" would've sufficed, not one word of greeting could pass through his lips. It was as if every single normal human greeting he knew was somehow erased from his vocabulary.
Eventually, he managed to regain control of his mental facilities and slapped on a stiff smile. "Sherry, my nephews, whom are very much blood related to me, have you met?...Them! Have you met them?"
He rigidly stuck his arms out towards Desmia and Ferris and took a step forward, nearly tripping in the process. "T-this fellow here, the son of my eldest sister, and that fellow there, the son of my eldest brother? I'd like to introduce them to you. My genuine kin. My actual relatives. Here."
Having to bear witness to this pitiful attempt at communication made Desmia want to cover her face and groan. I assumed that he would've been a clumsy mess but I didn't think he'd be this disappointing.
She shook her head. Is it too late to find a way to make party planning profitable instead?
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Ultimately, in spite of her misgivings, Desmia chose to not abandon their original plan.
Thus, after spending some more time observing Kale and secretly criticizing his frustrating performance in her heart, she adjusted her expression and proceeded to salvage the situation with one of her most polished talents–shamelessly acting cute.
Even though Desmia was admittedly both hundreds of years old and a deity from another realm, she was not above feigning cuteness to get what she wanted. In fact, it was her centuries of existence that helped her realize that even the most formidable opponents could be highly susceptible to acts overflowing with cuteness.
And she was right, as Sherry seemed to instantly take to her after she began to unveil her adorableness.
Desmia held up the tea cup that Sherry had generously provided for each of them and flashed an obsequious smile at her. "Thanks again for the tea, big sister Sherry. This lavender tea tastes just as nice as it smells."
Sherry who had been meticulously wiping at a spot on the table, looked up briefly to gently smile. "I am glad you enjoy it. Please feel free to have as much as you would like."
"Sherry planted and dried the lavender buds used for the tea herself so it's a given that it'd taste exceptional!" informed Kale with immense pride.
By now, he had somewhat managed to pull himself together and was now behaving in a less panicked manner. "She uses buds to make essential oil too. She usually diffuses some in the shop, that's why it always smells so nice!"
Desmia nodded approvingly. "Lavender plants are great additions to any garden. Every part of the plant, from the buds to the roots to the leaves to the flowers, is packed with nutrients, As such, it can be used in the treatment of a range of minor and major health concerns such as headaches, insomnia, indigestion, scalp irritation, respiratory issues, and muscle pains. It's also been shown to help alleviate anxiety, reduce stress, help ease skin conditions, and reverse signs of aging. Truly a versatile flower."
A look of surprise flashed by Sherry's eyes before she recomposed herself and continued wiping. "Yes, that is all true. Your knowledge on the subject is very impressive!"
Whoops. I went too far. It's really hard to remember how to speak like a seven year old sometimes.
Desmia placed her cup down and scratched the back of her head. "I read about it in a book recently. It just kind of stuck with me because I thought it was interesting."
She fidgeted in her seat. "To be honest with you, big sister Sherry, me and Ferris weren't really into reading before. We thought books were super boring but then Uncle Kale told us about these stories with these super awesome heroes who kick all the bad guys' butts! So we got our parents to read us a few and it turns out books are actually kind of really fun!"
She clasped her hands together for effect. "Once we got into it, we made our parents read and re-read all of the books we had at home to us. After a while, some of the books started to fall apart because of how many times we had read them."
"We tried to sew some of the pages back together but it made turning the pages kind of hard." She pouted as she mimicked the action of sewing pages together. "That's why we had to come here for new books."
As he had listened to Desmia's entirely fabricated story, Ferris remained placid. Taking nearly soundless sips of his tea, he thought to himself that since big sister had essentially told him to be neither an interference nor a disturbance, he only needed to keep to himself.
In fact, Desmia was not wrong to assume that Ferris had not really cared for the specific details regarding their outing because he honestly didn't care. The where, when, why, what, and how of it all were of no concern for him because simply being able to accompany big sister Marysol was enough to make him happy. As for everything she had asked him to do, because he trusted her, to such an extreme degree that the person herself wouldn't be able to fathom it, he would do them all without question.
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[Small Interlude: Flashback]
*Before they left the estate*
Earl Fairbloom: ('･Д･lll)ゞ So are you sure that we shouldn't be calling a doctor for these men? Maybe some medicine could help them.
Desmia: Absolutely sure. A regular doctor wouldn't be able to help them. If they take the wrong medicine it could interact harmfully with the substances that are already in their body so I wouldn't recommend it. It's better for their bodies to expel the remainder of the tonic on their own. ┐(￣ヮ￣)┌ Plus, getting a doctor involved would mess with the results of my experiment.
Earl: ...That should be the least of your concerns! (｡+･'ω･')
Desmia: └(・-・)┘ Hey, this wouldn't have happened if you guys had just let me continue experimenting on you instead. I told you I needed test subjects!
Earl: ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )
Desmia: In any case, everything will most likely turn out fiiiiiine. Just give it a day or two.
Earl: Will it be though?
Ferris: *eyes full of trust and hope* Don't worry...Earl Fairbloom. If big sister says...everything will be fine...then it will be! ヾ|๑╹◡╹๑|ﾉ I'm not sure...what a "test subject" is...but if you need some...I could do-
Earl: *hurriedly blocks his mouth and whisks him off to save his life* (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ㅂ˂̣̣̥)੭ु Oh, Lord Ferris, you sweet sweet child you! I'm so sorry that someone like you was tricked by my daughter!