Evangeline
Sophie and I had a fun night during our sleepover. We had a movie marathon after playing Just Dance and messing around with make up. The whole night was filled with laughs and smiles. I was happy.
But that changed when I woke up this morning. All I could think of was how Luke left. He left just like everyone else.
I know I should be excited that Luke is coming home today, yet I'm not. I'm angry, partly at Luke, but mainly at myself for believing that he would stay.
I can feel the emotions inside of me swelling in my chest, but I pull anger out on top. I know that if I think of any other emotion then I will cry, and I am tired of crying. All I ever do is cry, and I hate it.
Gray appears in my doorway to tell me that breakfast is ready while I am brushing my hair. I mumble an okay, slightly annoyed at his bubbly, energetic personality. I can't blame him for being happy though, his best friend is coming home today, anyone should be happy for that. His brows furrow confusedly as he detects my upset mood, but he doesn't question me.
I finish getting ready and head downstairs to see Grayson sitting at the table with food. I sit down silently in front of him and begin to pick at my food. I don't have much of an appetite, so I don't eat a lot. Grayson attempts to make conversation with me but eventually gives up when he figures out I don't want to talk. He seems to become slightly annoyed by my sour attitude, but I can't find a care to give at the moment.
I sit on the couch while Gray cleans because I don't feel like being around him at the moment. He stops when his phone rings. I know it's Luke on the other end, which only seems to annoy me further. Grayson hurriedly answers the phone and I begin to hear them talk. Soon Grayson walks into the living room with a wide smile and the phone pressed to his ear.
"What to talk to Luke?" Grayson ask joyfully
A frown etches itself further into my lips, and anger burns in my heart. "No." I say, the word full of bitterness.
Grayson's eyes immediately go wide out of shock. I hear Luke faintly say something into the phone, but I can't understand it. Grayson stutters for a moment before finally finding words.
"Um, she..." Grayson pauses, "she said no."
I get up from the couch and stomp my way to my room. Slamming the door on my way in, I plop down into my chair. I can hear Grayson talking quickly with Luke downstairs. Tears spring to my eyes and I groan to myself.
"No! I'm tired of being sad! Being angry is better than being sad." I scream in my mind
I huff and will myself not to cry, trying to turn my sadness into anger. Grayson comes storming up the stairs quickly, causing my heart to race. Hard and quick knocks are sounded on my door before it swings open.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Grayson yells at me
I scowl at him and turn around. Grayson grips the back of my chair tightly and flings it around so I am facing him.
"Do you know how hurt he is right now? That probably ruined his whole day!" Grayson shouts in my face.
"I don't care." I mumble, even though I feel a pang if guilt in my stomach.
"You don't care!"Grayson bellows
I growl and shoot up from my seat, coming face-to-face with the bent down Grayson in front of me.
"Why do you care? You didn't care how I felt when you made Luke go!" I shout back, kind of surprising myself by talking back, much less shouting back.
"I hate you! It's your fault he left! He's not coming back and it's all your fault!" I scream, beating on Grayson's chest before grabbing my bag and running to the car so he doesn't see the tears welling up in my eyes.
I slam the door with a thud and slump over my bag. I sniffle and wipe furiously at my eyes. A few minutes pass before Grayson comes and gets into the car.
"Even though you didn't want to talk to him, he told me to tell you that he loves you." Grayson sighs.
I shoot him a glare from the back seat, "He left just like everyone else. You don't leave people you love."
After that, neither of us say a word to each other the whole way to the school.
When we arrive I climb hastily out of the car and angrily walk to Sophie's classroom, not even realizing that I pass Sophie in the hallway on the way there. Dropping my stuff next to my seat, I rest my head in my hands, tiredly wishing I was in my bed with my stuffies. Grayson and Sophie stand outside the doorway talking.
"I dont know, Sophie." I hear, only catching part of their conversation. "She's just been so angry this morning. She said she hated me and that it was my fault he left." Grayson says quietly
"But he's coming home today." Sophie says confusedly
"I know, but she is fully convinced that he isn't." Grayson argues
They talk for a while more before separating to get to work. Sophie shoots me a soft smile as she makes her way to her desk.
"Good morni-"She says, only for me to cut her off abruptly.
"If you are going to talk about me then you could at least do it to my face like everyone else. At least they have the decency of that." I grumble
She goes to speak but stops herself.
Sophie sits down at her desk silently, looking slightly guilty. I huff and slip down into my seat, feeling bad that I hurt her feelings when she was only trying to make me feel better.
The day goes by agonizingly slowly. Eventually, I find myself sitting in the back seat of Grayson's car with Sophie in the passenger seat on our way to the air port. Soon, we are making our way through security to get to the airplane gate. More people join us as we wait.
We stand there waiting for a while, and I watch outside the window as the plane is pulled slowly up to the unloading dock. Minutes go by before the door is opened by a flight attendant and passenger begin to file out of the plane.
"See, I knew he wasn't coming home." I tell myself after more and more people come out.
The anger burning in my chest grows with every passing second. I watch as some of the passengers are greeted by people who care about them and then leave. Others just walk by themselves out of the airport. Sophie and Grayson carry on their own conversation while I stand here, silently staring at the floor.
Sophie suddenly gasp and races forward. I look up to see her engulfing Luke in a hug. Grayson is the next to go forward for a hug. Big smiles are on all of their faces as they greet each other. Luke's eyes soon find me standing behind them a few feet away. A huge, joy filled smile spreads across his face when he sees me. Luke immediately stops listening to whatever Grayson was saying and pushes past him to head to me.
His bags drop from his hands and land softly on the carpeted floor. Luke rushes to me we open arms, but I take hurried steps backwards as soon as he gets close. The smile falls, and a look of hurt and confusion comes across his face.
"Love bug," Luke says softly, horrified by my actions.
I shake my head no as I take another step back. I bite my lip and take deep breaths to keep myself from crying. Guilt spreads from my stomach to my whole body as I see Luke's face.
"NO! He left just like everyone else. Don't feel sorry for him." I command myself
I stand straight up and ball my fist at my sides, strengthening my willpower and stance.
"No." I whisper
I turn around and run to the nearest pillar to wait for them and to get away from Luke. Luke, Sophie, and Grayson all stand in their spots, mouths wide open, and worry written on their bodies.
They eventually gather their bearings and walk toward me to get out of the airport. I walk ahead of everyone until we reach the car. Just to my luck, Luke climbs into the back seat with me instead of Sophie or Grayson.
Grayson nor Sophie dare say a word while we ride home. Luke tries to set his hand on top of mine, but I glare at him before pulling my hand close to my body. I look out the window to avoid his gaze. I can't help but steal a glance at Luke when I hear a quiet sniffle come from his side. He rubs his face with his hands as he sniffles again, trying to hold back the tears in his eyes. I make myself look out of the window to keep from feeling bad about hurting his feelings.
We ride home in silence. The air is filled with tension and awkwardness from everyone. Grayson helps Luke get his luggage while Sophie unlocks the front door. I waste no time in going to my room. I grab my sketchbook and begin to color in a design I made yesterday. My colored pencils keep breaking due to me bearing down so hard because of my anger. I let out a muffled shriek and throw down the deep blue I was using after it breaks for the second time. Standing up, I stomp the three steps to my bed and bang on my pillows in frustration.
After letting out a long sigh, my eyes land on Elie. I pick up my favorite stuffed animal and hold it close to my body, curling around it and into a ball on my bed. I close my eyes, welcoming the comfort of the small, soft object in my hands.
A soft knock echoes throughout my room, causing me to look up at the door. It slowly opens and Sophie peeks her head into my room.
"Dinner is ready." Sophie says cautiously, as if she is scared of upsetting me further.
I nod solemnly.
I watch as she hesitantly moves out of my doorway and down the stairs. I rise up from the comfort of my bed and trudge my way downstairs to the kitchen table. I internally groan when I realize I have to sit across from Luke in our normal spots.
I avoid Luke's gaze throughout the whole dinner. I don't say anything to anyone, even though they are all talking about Luke's trip. I barely listen, but I catch them making plans to come over for breakfast tomorrow. I push around my food mindlessly instead of eating.
"Please, eat," Luke begs me, his voice sounding as if he spoke any louder then it might crack.
I roll my eyes and begrudgingly stab a piece of chicken onto my fork before shoving it into my mouth. No one else says anything to me during dinner.
Sophie ends up going home to take care of Sugar after we finish dinner. Grayson gathers his things to take back to his house as Luke and I clean up dinner. Luke opens the fridge and lets out a huff.
"I have to go get milk." He mumbles
Suddenly, it's like all of my walls fall and every emotion I've had these pass few days comes rushing at me. Those six words broke me. All of my anger is replaced by sadness, and guilt spreads through my whole body.
The towel I was holding drops from my hands and tears blur my vision. My chest begins to heave up and down as I stand there trying to to hold my breath so I don't start to cry. Seconds pass and I have to suck in a breath which let out my sobs.
Luke and Grayson immediately turn to me in concern.
My eyes meet Luke's and I stifle a sob, "Please, don't go." I cry out.
Luke takes a step forward to me and I take that as my cue to continue.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I choke out.
Luke rushes to me and picks me up in a hug. He nestles his face in my neck as I cry on his shoulder. I cling to his shirt harder than someone dangling over a cliff.
"Don't leave again, please," I beg. I feel warm drops of water roll down my neck from Luke's cheeks.
We sink down to the cold kitchen floor, still not letting go of our hug. I hear Grayson sigh from the front door. "I guess I'll go get the milk." He leaves to go get the milk, and Luke and I are left alone to cry in the kitchen floor. I wait until I am calmed down enough so that I'm not gasping to get my words out before I look at him.
"I'm sorry I was so mean. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you this morning. I'm sorry-" I say trying to get it out all at once, only to be cut off by Luke.
"Shh," Luke sounds, moving hair from in front of my face, "it's okay." He says repeatedly as he strokes my cheek.
"Please don't ever leave again." I beg.
"Love bug, I can't promise that I won't have to leave again," Luke starts, making more tears come from my eyes, "but I promise I will always come back to you." He assures me.
We sit there as I try desperately to stop crying. I lay my head on Luke's shoulder as he rocks us in an attempt to calm me.
"Are you mad at me?" I whimper, sitting up from his shoulder.
He shakes his head no, "No,"
I sniffle and wipe my nose, "D-Do, do..." I stutter, struggling to get my question out.
"Breathe, Evangeline." Luke interrupts.
I do as he says and take a deep breath. "Do you still want to keep me?" I ask, breaking down again
His eyes go wide with worry. "Of course I do, Evangeline."
His eyes crinkle with distress, "Evangeline, you are the best daughter in the whole world. I will always to keep you because I love you so, so much." Luke takes my hand and kisses my knuckles as I wipe my face with the other. His nice words bring happiness to my heart, and finally breaks down my last wall.
"I-I love you, too." I whisper down to my hands, really meaning the words I hadn't ever said to anyone.
I can't bring myself to look at him. All of the good things Luke has done for me runs through my mind, causing me to feel worse about how badly I have treated him.
Luke instantaneously engulf me in a tight hug. I am smothered against his chest, and I slowly relax until I am able to convince myself to hug him back.
A wave of emotions hits me like a truck. I had finally found a family that actually cared about me, and I had finally allowed myself to give love back to them without the fear of them lying about it.
"Thank you, for everything," I blubber
Minutes pass with us just holding onto each other before we separate to look at one another. There is no doubt in my mind that my eyes are red and my face is blotchy from the amount of crying I have done. Luke's cheeks are red and wet from crying too. I pull down my shirt sleeve and wipe at his cheeks with my thumb to dry them.
Luke sniffs and wipes his eyes harshly in an attempt to stop the tears. "It's okay, boys can cry too." I tell him.
He chuckles at me, "Sweetheart, I wasn't trying to stop because I don't think men shouldn't cry. You just don't know how much it means to me to hear you say that back after all this time." He explains.
"I'm sorry it's taken me this long." I mumble ashamedly.
Luke lifts up my chin to make me look at him. "Hey, no, don't apologize for that. Some things take time, and that's okay. That's a really big step to take." He assures me.
I nod to show Luke that I understand.
"I missed my bubbly, little designer so much. I don't know what I would ever do without you." Luke says, tickling my sides to make me giggle.
"I'm really happy you are home." I say with a small smile.
I give him a quick hug before the both of us climb off the floor. I grad Luke's hand and drag him to the living room to sit on the couch. I grab two blankets and hand him the remote to find us a movie to watch. Just as I go to sit down, Grayson walks through the door.
I run over to him and hug him tightly. "I'm really sorry for everything I did. Do you forgive me?" I ask hopefully.
Grayson chuckles, "Yes, I forgive you, and I am very glad to see that angry Evangeline is gone and happy Evangeline is back." He jokes
"I got the milk." Grayson says to Luke as he walks to the kitchen.
"Thanks, put it in the fridge." Luke's says back
"No, I was going to put it in the bathtub. Of course I'm going to put it in the fridge." Grayson says sarcastically, making us laugh and Luke roll his eyes.
Grayson goes home after dropping off the milk, and Luke and I sit on the couch to watch a movie. He stroked my hair as I lie with my head in his lap. Soon enough, the comfort of the blanket and the security I feel by Luke being home is enough to allow me to drift to sleep. Luke carries me to my room and wakes me up so I can change and brush my teeth. He tucks me in with Ellie and Nugget, and I fall asleep almost as soon as he turns off my light, allowing me to have the most peaceful night of sleep I have had all week.
*************
I'M SORRY. It's been so long. I haven't updated since before my last semester, and I'm so sorry everyone. I was so overwhelmed with school that I couldn't find the time or motivation to write. I will post the next chapter sometime next week, but after that then I dont know when my next update will be. This book is definitely not over, and it won't be for a really long time probably.
Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me for this long. I really appreciate all of you so much!
Updated 7/27/2018 (I'm starting this so I will know how long it has been between updates)
-Have fun reading my lovelies