MY FIRST STORY EVER :) - its mainly fiction with a few real experiences thrown in for good measure; hope you enjoy it :)
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It's a hard knock life - Taylor's Story..
In the beginning there was me. And my life was pretty decent. Not too much stress, well, none that I couldn't handle, I had a ridiculously sexy hubby and my best friends were exactly that - the mothafcukin best!
Little did I know, one night would change EVERYTHING.
It would flip my life upside-down, back to front, 360 degrees. And things would never be the same again.
Chapter 1 - In The Beginning..
"MI TEK WEH YUH VIRRRGINITYY! MI TEK WEH YUH VIRRRGINITYY!" I swear that song is LIVEE!! It was definitely my summer club banger because let's just say, I kinda obeyed the lyrics in the song, if you get what I mean. Me, the love of my life Nathan, and my two besties, Ria and Keziah, were all on the train going home back from Tinsletown. I was in a great mood because Nate paid for everything, including the alcohol we downed afterwards, so I was a little tipsy as well, which made me feel mad horny.
"HAAAAAAA! Your life got exposssed on public transport Tay! Mr Nathan over here took that a while back hahaha!" Ria was like my sister but even though I was tipsy, I managed to dash my umbrella at her head.
"OWWW! It hit me instead you bludclart, pussyclart, kwasiasem, foooool!" I love Keziah with all my heart but damn, she was confused about her life. She was half Jamo, half Ghanaian and switched from patwa to Twi to English at the worst times! She chucked my umbrella back at me, but like always, Nathan had my back, and caught it before it hit me. Jheeeeze, how I love that boy, craaaaa! While Ria cracked up hard at Keziah tryna move to some man who was bout 28 and sitting next to his chick, I pulled down my already short bodycon lace dress and put my legs up on Nathan and wrapped my arms around his neck. I started whispering random shit into his ear and biting on his neck, knowing that that was one of his weaknesses and would get him as horny as me. I felt him snaking his muscular arms around my waist and I felt heat rising in my stomach. The way I would do this boy on this train if Ria and Keziah weren't here, it was actually emotional!! Nathan knew he had me on lock since the day we met but since I learnt his weaknesses, I slyly had him on lock even if he was too damn stubborn to admit it. He pulled me closer to him so that he could kiss my neck but before he could we heard,
"The next station is Stonebridge Park, please mind the gap between the train and the platform." I whipped my legs off Nathan and quickly stood up just as the train decided to move again, so I fell backwards on top of Kez and Ria and we burst out laughing.
"Ayyy, you lots come on before the doors close." Nathan had left the train and we quickly ran after him, pushing and shoving each other while singing more Vybz Kartel and getting looks from scared on-looking passengers also leaving the train. Once we had reached the bus stop, me and the girls went to cross the road to get the bus going the opposite way to Nathan but I had to kiss him before he left otherwise I wouldn't be able to sleep easy.
"I'm coming yeah, just got to keep my hubby on lock." I said to the girls and before I realised what was happening, he had me in his arms and his lips pressed hard on mine and I can't lie, the boy made me feel weak!
"Text me when you get home, and make sure no brehs try move to you otherwise I'll go mad I swear!" He was extremely paro when it came to other guys watching me, but that just proved he loved me so I didn't mind.
I whispered in his ear, "Fool, you got me on lock and you are still worrying about other brehs?! Did I ever tell you that I kinda like you?" He just laughed and replied,
"Maybe once or twice." He was the only guy I have ever said I love you to and he would never let me live it down. I gave him another kiss and I ran, well jogged in my 6 inch heels, across the road to the chuckle sisters and luckily the 18 bus came just in time.
It was about 2am and I had just got off the bus and was walking up to my house when I saw one guy I used to do a ting with on his bike with his bredrins, sitting on the gate of my house as per flipping usual. Normally, I wouldn't really care, but as I walked up and I started hearing, "JHEEEZUSSS! Look at her backoff doe, shit. Man needs that in his bed now boi. NAHHH, did man clock her chest doe, fuckin hell!! Ayyy, my sizeeee!" That pissed me off BIGG TIMEE cause 1, I was tipsy/drunk and 2, I was EXTREMELY tired so I was not in the mood to even pretend to ignore them so I kissed my teeth haaard and opened my front slowly, forgetting that the stupid door squeaks so immediately I heard,
"TAYLOR ASHLEIGH NANA YAW OWUSU-MACINTOSH, WAT TIME DO YOU CALL THIS?!" Shit, my mum clocked me. It had to be her every single time, and it pissed me off cause if it was my dad, he would of just left it alone but NO, my mum had to be a African, worse still Ghanaian so I was definitely gonna get it.
"Mum, allow shouting and exposing my name like you can't see people outside the front door!" She was always doing that, exposing my life, in the house or in public, wherever, she wouldn't care!
"Kwasia like you, don't you know what the time is? I have been calling that phone of yours since midnight and you had the ORDACITY to switch it off?! You think you are grown and my age mate so you can disrespect me like that? If that is so, get out of my house, do you hear me?! Foolish goat, after everyting I have done for you. Nonsense.." And she carried on and on, but this happens all the time so I was able to block her noise out and get up the stairs to my room, leaving her standing there at the top of the stairs. This woman will never get tired of hearing her own voice, I swear! I quickly got out of my dress, put on a t-shirt I got from Nathan a while back that I wear to sleep to keep me thinking of him, and got into bed. Usually I would wrap my hair but tbh, it was nearly 3:30 and I was DEADOUT. I switched on ma BB and saw baaaare missed calls from my mum, and even a couple of texts from her, which made me laugh cause I never knew she could use her phone let alone text! Then I saw missed calls from Nathan and clocked that I was meant to text him when I got home.
Me: Hey baby, soz I didn't call. Mum was acting raggo and was chatting shit. Miss u doe, wish u was ere :(. Loveyoulongtime, Tay xxxx
Nathan: Tis ite sexy ;). LOL your mum gives me jokes. Shit, I miss you too. Don't worry, ima be der 2morro :p. Ima make it worth the wait. LY2. Nate xxxx
I knew this boy was mad horny and I would have belled him but I conked out soon after I read his text and had some mad dream about a club in an alley..
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOO YOOUUUUUUUUU!" I woke up to sum next tuneless African singing by my dad, mum and my twin younger brother and sister. they were all bare standing over me like I didn't just wake up, bare rubbing my eyes and shit but it felt good to see them all there and happy. Tia and Trey both jumped on me and basically strangled me instead of hugging me, screaming and laughing as I tickled them. They were actually my life and I felt like I was there mother at times seeing as I basically did everything for them since they were born. When my mum had them, my dad was really ill and in hospital a lot so to save both of them the stress, I basically ran the house. Aint gonna lie and say it was easy, cause it nearly cost me losing Ria and Kez through unecessary arguements that left us not talking for a good couple of months. But if it hadn't have happened, I would have never met Nathan and I couldn't imagine life without him.
"Happy birthday baby girl, you alright?" My dad was from Grenada and his accent was the one! I actually wished I spoke like him sometimes.
"Yeah Dad, am bless. Where my presents at though?!" He laughed, bent down and kissed my forehead. It was a beautiful moment until,
"This girl craaa, she is too rude!" and all of us buss out laughing. After I finally got the mad lot to exit my room, I plugged my iPod into my speakers and cranked up the volume. I felt flipping great and I wasn't gonna jam my hype for no one!!
*AYY GYAL, ME NO WANN NO BORING FUCK, ME NO WANN NO BORING WINE..(8)*
Ahh Vybz Kartel truly made me happy! I got out of the shower, creamed, and was attempting to look for something to wear when I finally looked at my BB since the day before. Usually I would I stay up till midnight and then read all my texts and shit but I fought as ima older now, can't be doing them tings, u zimmie!! Nah, but for real, I was deadout from babysitting the twins the whole day and couldn't be arsed to keep awake. I had bare texts, some hilarious ones from Ria and Keziah and some unexpected ones from heads that I aint spoken to or even knew had my number! I was about to read Nathans one when I got a phone call on withheld. No one ever calls me on withheld because they know it pisses me off so I picked up out of curiosity.
Me: Who is this?
Private Caller: You alright sexy?
Me: Once again, who is this?
P/C:What, you can't remember mans voices now, yeah? It's Rakeem.
SHIT. Let me tell you a little bit about Rakeem. Before I met Nathan, I wasn't into commitment and having relationships with guys, I was more into having them there to look at and get with if and when I wanted to. But I was still a good girl, not giving head and shit but a quick lips was never out of the question cause gyal was on a lipsing ting u get me! But anyways, I met Rakeem at a house party my cousin had for her birthday and I swear I fell in love with the boy as soon as I saw him. He was the epitome of chocolate coloured, beautiful long, braided hair, tall and sexy with brown/green eyes. For the whole night, if I wasn't watching him, he was watching me and at the end of the night we finally started talking and swapped numbers. I was hooked on this boy differently and he knew it as well but one night when I went to his house and we had sex even though I knew I wasn't ready, I knew I had to get myself off of him. I had to tell myself I wasn't falling in love with him but I was and that night, whether he had meant it or not, he told me he loved me. That's when I realised he had become my drug, lethal but addictive and when he got sent to pen, I cried for days but after going cold turkey for so long, I forgot about ever being addicted to him, or maybe I had just pushed to the back of my mind. So for him to be calling me 2 years later, with that sexy voice of his, all of these emotions and pain came flooding back and I was extremely confused.
Me: Rakeem?
P/C: Yes Tay, it's me. Happy birthday baby. You grown now, yeah?
Me: Why are you on my line?
P/C: Huh? What, aint you happy to hear from me?
Me: You went pen, never called me ONCE, I wasn't even sure you were ever gonna come out. Then you have the flipping cheek to be calling me how many flipping years later and you think ima be fine with it?! Are you out of your flipping mind?! Get off my line.
I had to cut him off ASAP, because if I didn't, I swear I would have broken down crying. I wasn't being unreasonable, was I? I mean, I had moved on, found Nathan and was happy. I didn't need or want him back in my life - did I? I decided to remove those thoughts from my head cause it was my birthday and NOTHING was gonna spoil it. I wasn't sure what my family where planning for me, but I knew it was gonna be a casual thing so I wore my favourite black skinny jeans, black Supra's & purple Adidas zip up hoodie cause it was looking kinda grim outside. I looked at myself in the mirror and screwed my hair. It was long and afro-ish but if I ever wanted to leave it down I would have to straighten it and I couldn't be arsed. I just tied it all back and smiled to myself, remembering how Rakeem used to say that it looked like a lion's mane when it was all tied back. Oh Rakeem.. No, I thought to myself, I can't let him ruin today.
"Ooo Tay, we all wearing the same thing! You catted us!" Tia and Trey had bopped into my room like they own the place and true say, we all looked flyyyy. Tia was wearing a yellow Nike hoodie with yellow and black Pastry's and Trey was wearing a green Ralph Lauren t-shirt with black Air Force Ones and a black Criminal Damage varsity jacket. Not gonna lie, I was very proud to say that I was related to these ragamuffin 8 years and I wondered how time had passed so quickly and stared in awe at the speed at which they had grown.
"Haha Tay, you don't know where we are going! Everyone knows the secret except youuuu!"
"Oh is it Trey, well I guess ima have to tickle the secret out of someone.."
"Nooooooooooo! Allow it!" I wasn't allowing him for nothing!! I loved tickling him cause he tried acting hard like he was a big man at the age of 8, but when he got tickled, you cud see his innocence and vulnerability which I found so cute. So I'm tickling Trey and Tia gets involved by jumping on both of us so we all ended up on the floor when we heard,
"IF YOU VALUE LIFE CRAAA, YOU SHUD MAKE YOUR WAY DOWN THOSE STAIRS APAS, OR WATEVAH YOU LOTS SAY!!" I clocked ma mum meant as soon as possible and so did the twins so to stop them from laughing out loud, I quickly put my hands over their mouths.
"We're coming ma! Chill!" I know she could hear in my voice that I wanted to laugh but I didn't really care. Trey ran downstairs still giggling whilst I quickly re-did my hair cause most of it had come out when we was on the floor, and did Tia's hair the same way cause she was like my little mini me and I thought it would be sweet. When we finally got downstairs, I saw my mum and dad both jamming in front of the plasma, in their pj's like they hadn't just been shouting at me to hurry up and get ready so we could leave!
"Erm excuse YOU LOTS but I sweaaaaaar diddy-down that we was on our way out?!" I said, screwing them hard as well just to emphasis my point.
"Baby, who fi tell you we were going witchu? We doesn't always mean all of us yuh nuh!" Dad had the cheek to say this whilst not once taking his eyes off the Ghanaian film they was watching and ma mum didn't help by laughing and saying 'AMEN!" after he had finished!
"Come onnnnnn, Tay lets gooooo!" Tia pulled my hand towards the front door like I was meant to know where we was going.
"Sooo, why is no one telling me where I'm going or telling me anything for that matter?!" I didn't like not knowing shizz, it made me feel vulnerable and I HATED that feeling - reminded me too much of Rakeem and his foolish, mind-fucking ways.
"Nana Yaa, just let your brother and sister take you out chale - is it too much to ask?!" Okay maybe I was being a little bit too paranoid but can you blame me after all that happened with Rakeem? So after much deliberation, I allowed the munchkins so take me on this journey as we hopped onto the 18 bus. I hadn't checked my bb in time and it was on silent for the first time in FOREVER and I had baaaare bbm messages and texts and missed calls - especially from withheld. What exactly did Rakeem want from me? My mind was full of so many unanswered questions that I was completely zoned out when Trey called my name and told me we had reached our stop. I looked out of the window and we were at the bus stop for Westfield.
"We're going to Westfieldddd! And Mum said we can buy you whatever you want!" I loooooved the sound of that! We hopped on the bus towards Westfield and ran up to the top floor and guess who just HAPPENED to be sitting at the back of the bus with his mandem..
Trey and Tia both held ma hands and whispered,
"Tay, is that Keem?" I couldn't believe they remembered him, but they were smart and they used to love him when he came around to the house - but they were 5/6 years old at the time so it still shocked me that they would remember him.
"Yeah, it is but don't say anything to him yeah because remember me and him aint friends no more yeah?" I couldn't have him coming back into their lives. He was unreliable and they had Nathan now - they didn't need a thuggish wasteman like Rakeem. I got the twins to sit in the middle seats nearer the front and I sat behind them and their fidgety selves kept turning round in their seats to crack jokes with me or to say something they thought was funny but sounded so dumb to me, but I love it. They are my world, everything I live for and without them in my life I don't know what I would have done. They are the reason I got over Rakeem and they would be the reason why I wouldn't go back to what I was; who I'd been.
"Ayyy birthday girl, you can't say hello nah? After I bare called you all this morning.."
I tried my best not to even flinch or turn around, but that voice made me want to see the face of the guy I guess, I had once.. kinda.. loved.
"Are you going to speak to him Tay? He is smiling at me Tay, should I screw him?" I love Tia, she was always tryna either be like me or make me happy.
"I don't know baby, I think I want to though.. Yeah, give him that mean screw face you give mum when she try tell us to cut our hair." Tia screwed up her face sooo hard anyone would have fought she was constipated or something lol.
"Tay if he don't stop looking at us, ima baaaaang him up faaaam!" Trey thought he was my age like jheeeeze! Giggs was his role model and he had met Scorcher and Ghetts on his eighth birthday so he thought he was the 'arddest! As I was laughing at them and they were cursing Rakeem, I heard footsteps behind me but ignored them thinking it was a passenger just tryna get off the bus.
"Can I sit next to you please?"
I look up, fully expecting some random person so I get ready to use my fake apologetic voice to tell them fuck no, these seats are taken and who do I see?
'Rakeem, I don't wanna talk to you. Anything you want to say, rewind about 2 years and tell it to the me that would have probably given a shit.' The twins mouths dropped and I clocked that I had just sworn in front of them for the first time ever and I felt like shit. 2 seconds of being back in my life and Keem is already managing to ruin things.
'The next stop is... White City Station.' I didn't want to stay on the bus any longer so I got up and attempted to push past him to get down the stairs. The twins hurried ahead, laughing and pushing each other like nothing had happened but Keem grabbed my arm and stopped me.
'Baby I know you still love me and ima get you back. Don't fuck about cause you know what I'm capable of and I don't wanna have to hurt you to get what I want.' The way he said it, harsh and whispering sent chills down my spine and I felt tears rising to my eyes but I refused to cry.
'Let go of me you fuckin dickhead.' He let go of my arm and grinned at me. Shit I used to love that smile cause I'd clock he was horny.
'There's the Taylor I know and love.' About love, if he loved me he wouldn't have left me. If he loved me, he would have told me why he went pen, he would have called me and let me know he was fine and that he loved me and missed me and wanted to see me. If he loved me, he wouldn't have gone pen and we would have stayed together and.. Wait why was I thinking all this? As I walked out of the bus, I could feel his eyes watching me from the top deck, staring right at my heart and soul. How is it possible that after 2 years he could still have my heart on lock like that without me realising?
'Come onnnnnn Tay, leggooooooo!' I snapped back to reality and allowed myself to be dragged in Westfield by the twins and forced all thoughts of Keem to the back of my mind...for now.
We walked up the escalator and I realised we was going towards the cinema.
'So we're watching a film for my 18th birthday? Is this a joke?!' I actually couldn't believe my family had bumped me like this! Watching some next PG film with the twins?! I was fuming!
'Just follow us man, you complain too much Tay goooooshhhhh!' I loved when Tia tried act rude and serious because it just didn't work and she ended up looking even cuter. I was dragged into one of the screens and it was proper dark and the twins had gone ahead.
'Hello? What the flip is going on? Tee? Trey?' My heart was racing - me and the dark have never been the best of friends ever since.. I didn't even want to think about it.
'SURPRISE!' Nathan, Keziah, Ria and the twins jumped out of a row of seats at the front and the screen came up with a group picture of all of us in the summer when we were on a float in carnival last year with the words 'Happy 18th Birthday Tay! We Love You!' I aint one for emotional shit and surprises (I HATE surprises) but I was bare touched that they'd do that for me and I felt a couple tears in my eyes but I held it together like the don that I am hehe. After cussing them all for getting me ever so slightly shook for a couple milliseconds, they told me that my mum and dad had bought the whole screen for us 6 and we had unlimited popcorn, drinks and hotdogs for the duration of the film. The twins went mad arguing over which seat to get and us lot watched them baffled - there were about 100 seats and they were arguing over 1! Once they finally got tired and conked out in a couple seats near the front, Kez and Ria took two seats in the middle in order to, in their own words 'leave the lovebirds alone'. I loved these two but at times they made me cringe! I hate emotional shit especially the word 'LOVE' in the romantic sense which is why I was so happy to be with Nathan cause he was the first guy I ever said it to. But as I thought more about it, I remembered saying it to Rakeem the night he said it to me; the same night before he disappeared out of my life forever - till now.
Nah I was not letting him ruin my day, it was just nice, just us, all laughing at the same points during the film and having the maddest game of hide-and-seek while attacking each other with the popcorn we had gotten sick of. Just cause I turned 18 doesn't mean I can't still have fun right?! After getting clocked making waaay too much noise and picking out popcorn out of hair and clothes (one got stuck down Ria's bra and Trey kindly offered to help her take it out!) we headed out of the cinema. I had got kinda hot during the film and had taken off my hoodie, showing off the white vest top I was wearing underneath. Now I can't deny that I may have been blessed significantly on the chest area and I wasn't ashamed of it - if you got it, flaunt it! A group of guys who looked a couple years older than Nathan, by the way Nathan just turned 20 a couple months ago, were looking at me whilst I was waiting for the twins and the buffoons I call my friends to get the hell out of the bathroom and as per usual Nate got immediately jealous.
"I hate guys looking at you man. Shit, it actually makes me want to kill them all and gladly go prison I swear." I love this boy with all the bones in my body but when he got jealous, it pissed me off big time - I just didn't understand why he didn't find it funny; yeah they were looking at me but at the end of the day I only want him so let them look, they can want what they can't have. Boys annoyed and confused me when it came to stuff like this but I was slowly making sense of it as the years went on.
"Erm, excuse me ma'am but I was wondering if y'all know a Taylor McIntosh?" Even though I heard an American accent I knew straight away who that was.
"OMFG, THEO!!" Theo has been my best friend since the day we were born (cliché, I know) and his mum took him to live with her in America halfway through primary school after they got divorced and since then I've only seen and spoken to him through Skype at mad times of the nights cause of the time zones. Thank the good Lord for Skype because without it, I'm sure we would have grown so apart we probably wouldn't still be in each other's lives. We'd never forgotten each other's birthdays or went a day without speaking to each other (we'd both seen each other looking drunk, rough, upset - you name it, we saw it) but it's just not same not being able to see other face to face. He was still as beautiful as the day he left, swagger on point but on an American boy flex - never thought I'd see the day when this boy was in a pair of chinos and TOMS but damn the boy could rock it. He had played down the American flex, wearing a BBC (Billionaire Boys Club) jumper, straight jeans and black and blue Air Force Ones. He had flipped his black New Era to the back showing those gray eyes and tight cainrows and for a second all other thoughts escaped my mind and was bombarded instead with everything Theo.
"Shawty you looking hella fine, damn! What's a brother gotta do to get some love his way ma?"
"Tay, who is this dumb arse fake American guy and why do you know him?"
"Nate chill, this is Theo my best friend I told you about." I couldn't believe he was here right in front of me like for the first time in 9 years and he was here on my 18th birthday - life couldn't get any better for me right about now.
"Excuse me if I'm disturbing y'all but I just wanted to surprise you Taylor and it seems like I have so ima leave y'all to do what y'all was doing and make a move."
"NOOOO. Theo are serious about life?! I haven't seen you in like light years and you're gonna leave me?! You're even dumber than I remember then!" As I said this, Theo gave me a look that felt so familiar but I completely mistook it as acceptance of this par and all of a sudden I had been lifted up on to his shoulder and was screaming the cinema down and laughing hard whilst doing so.
"Umm, ima just take the trash out and ima be with y'all in a minute, that cool with you?" Theo was even struggling to speak because he was laughing and Ria, Kez and the twins had come out and were laughing and stirring things up, not even trying to help a sister out! I couldn't hear Nate laughing, and when I looked over to him he had a sort of fake smile that I know he uses when he feels uncomfortable with a situation or is pissed off but to be perfectly honest, I didn't give a shit - Theo was my best friend and I don't get to crack jokes and be stupid with him everyday like I do with Nate so I was gonna savour every split second I had with Nate till he had to leave.
Theo carried me out of the cinema on his shoulder all the wayto the bus stop, the twins running behind him pulling on his jeans, and tugging on my arms as I attempted to scramble my way of this boys shoulders.
"Ayyy Taylor! D'you want a drink? We're going to the corner shop, but don't get greedy cause there is a price limit and we are NOT made of money - even if it is your birthday!" Awww, ain't my friends the best? So caring and stingy, that's why I love 'em! The twins, hearing there was an opportunity for free food, stopped in their tracks and headed back to follow Ri and Kez. Theo finally put me down on a bench and sat down next to me. I flipped my legs on to his lap and he started tickling me. I was a sucker for being tickled. I would do anything to stop being tickled and Theo had always used this to his full advantage in order for me to do various tedious things for him in the past. That was the thing about me and Theo, we didn't even have to say a thing to each other but we knew what the other was thinking, how they were feeling and I wouldn't change that for anything.
"Took you a while to turn 18 Tay, been waiting for like what, a year for you catch up!" He was only two months older than me but the boy acted like it was like 10.
"Oh shallap Grandad, you'll die before me and go grey and have a wrinkly face before I do so go ahead and be older." At this point he went to tickle me again as revenge but I quickly begged for mercy before his hands reached my stomach.
"You were lucky this time, but the next? Ima get you girl!" He grinned at me, the sun hitting his eyes, making the shade of grey more distinctive and apparent. I thought about the summers before he left for America, me and him, tag teaming in Hyde Park and me secretly getting jealous when girls would come up to him and move to him. I never made it known that I was jealous, I either stood there on my phone, pretending to be consumed with something or looked around for a guy, any guy to distract me from watching the guy I loved but didnt know it.
"Tay? You aight? You didn't hear a word I said did ya?"Ahhh snap, I really hoped he didn't ask me what I was thinking about cause I was not feeling to tell him the truth so I'd have to come up with something quick.
"Of course not, you're boring so why would I?" He stuck out his bottom lip and made a sad face but still managed to look mad cute. I wondered if he realised that I was taking in every detail, from the shadow of the beard he was clearly tryna grow to the way his hands seemed so much larger than I'd remembered them and more used, experienced. I wondered if he noticed that I hadn't grown at all since he left or that I'd started wearing mascara or clocked on to the tension that was choking me from the inside, causing me to have butterflies in my stomach whenever he shifted underneath my legs or smiled and looked at me and bit his lip like he used to do when he was nervous. Or maybe I was just reading into things cause half of me hoped it was true and half of me wanted things to just stay the same exactly how I remembered it.
"Taaay they ran outta KA Fruit Punch so I got you grape instead and Tay's friend, hi my name is Keziah, I'm Taylor's best friend, ridiculously single and we should get to know each other better." Kez didn't care at all - if she liked a guy and she wanted him to know, without a doubt she would straight up let him know, girlfriend or no girlfriend. 8 times out of 10 she got the guys number/bb pin and never called them again unless they were particularly nice but to be honest she could get any guy she wanted cause she was a stunner and a half! She was 5"10, chocolate brown skin and bright hazel eyes and her bum was something to be proud of. Not gonna lie I envied that backoff cause mine was not doing anything but hers - lord god have mercy!
"Please excuse our friend, she's got issues that cause her to say dumb stuff. I'm Ria by the way, nice to meet you." Now Ria being this polite to a guy meant that she was really feeling him cause if a guy approached Ria and didn't know her, he would not expect what would happen. Ria is 5"6 with caramel skin and grey/green eyes and a head full of long curly hair which had always challenged mine. She was just as stunning as Kez but in a completely different way. Whereas Kez's curves, flawless skin and voice attracted attention, Ria's calm and mysterious nature in addition to her athletic body and piercing eyes attracted a different kind of attention. I guess that's why we are such good and close friends - they're at either end of the beautifully stunning spectrum and I'm comfortably in the middle.
"Taylor, I'm gain home so I'll bell you later when you're less busy." I'd forgotten Nate was there to be honest and he was clearly pissed off at me cause he never calls me by my full name and if he has to tell me he's gonna call me then he won't. But I figured I'd call him later and talk it out and everything would be cool. But then he just walked off, got into his car and drove off, no hug, kiss or even a second glance or a chance for me to say anything. That's when I got pissed off and everyone clearly clocked and they stayed silent. I took my legs off Theo and crossed them on the bench, staring aimlessly at my phone, completely oblivious to Theo getting up to talk to Ria and Kez. The twins came to sit on either side of me and gave me a three way hug which made me smile a little bit cause they started tryna see who could squeeze me the tightest.
"We love you Tay." That's all I needed to hear to force a smile for the twins to convince them I was fine. I hated them seeing me upset and if I'd been able to fake being fine for two years, another day wouldn't hurt them or me.
"Oi , gruesome twosome get your bums here now, we need to go!" The twins immediately loosened their grip and ran to meet Kez was standing next to a cab with Ria and I realised they were leaving me and Theo.
"Howa bout we go do what we used to do and kick it in Hyde Park? Or are you too cool for that these days?" I turned to see Theo was back sitting next to me.
"Where are they going and why is everyone leaving me? This was meant to be the biggest birthday of my life so far and yet already I've been basically dumped by my boyfriend and my two best friends have just fled in a cab with my brother and sister - what, do I smell or something?"
"Yeah you do a bit." I didn't want to laugh but I couldn't help it. Just the fact that Theo was here with me made me slightly better. I leaned over to and put my head on his shoulder and then felt him wrap his arms around me. I couldn't help but think Nate should be doing this. Nate should be the one making me feel better but instead he's the problem. This really upset me for some reason and I didn't realise I was crying until Theo sat me upright.
"Tay why you crying girl? I aint gonna stand for you crying on your birthday. You'd better fix up or I'll take the next flight back to NY!" Even though I knew he was joking, my heart skipped a beat and I quickly attempted to stop myself from crying more at the thought of him leaving me already. He wiped my face with his hands and kept them there for a while, looking at me with those beautiful eyes of his, and for some reason I had the chorus of Killing Me Softly on repeat in my head which made those few moments of him touching my face in such a caring way even more poignant.
"Ite you know what we gonna do? Ima drive you to where I'm crashing while I'm in London and Ima cook you up a lil something." I burst out laughing at this and didn't even try to contain it.
"And since when could you cook?! Last time you tried to cook, I distinctly remember two fire engines having to intervene and save your house from burning down!" can you imagine he was only trying to boil an egg?! Don't ask me how he managed it, it has and will remain a mystery that only God can answer!
"I'll have you know that I went out with a Latino chick out in NY and she taught me how to cook. She also said it was the only way I was getting any from her, so I had to learn fast!"
"I should have known it was all for a girl. Well it had better taste good, I aint really looking to get food poisoning on my birthday." We stood up and started walking round the corner to where Theo had parked his car when I felt my phone vibrating then heard the familiar chime of my text message tone. I dug my Blackberry out from my pocket and saw that I had 3 new texts, one from my cousin in Ghana, one from my Granddad (that took me by surprise - didn't know he even had a phone) and one from a number I didn't recognise. After reading out the broken English text from my cousin and the essay structured text from my Granddad, I opened the unknown number's text:
Unknown Number: Hey beautiful, sorry about earlier.
Now at this point I thought it was Nate, but then clocked it couldn't be him cause why would he be texting me off a different number? So, intrigued, I read on.
U/N: It's just been so long since I've seen you, been close to you like the old days and I've missed you and I guess I went the wrong way about it but I understand that now and I want to start over. You know I aint good with emotions and that shit but I thought I should just let you know that I love you and always have. I thought bout you every day that I was inside and you're the reason I didn't go crazy in that place. I sound like a fucking sweet boy atm but you know when it comes to you I don't give a shit. Anyways, I just needed to tell you init. Hope you been having a good birthday. I got you a present btw but I doubt you'd want it. But if you do, you know how to find me init and I'll always be here. Love you T, remember that. R. x
My jaw must have dropped, hit the floor and bounced back cause I could hear Theo talking, asking me if I was alright but I couldn't speak, I was frozen. Was this guy ACTUALLY serious? Yeah, this text sounded genuine and mature - two characteristics that I couldn't remember him having. Maybe prison actually did change him, but that shouldn't bother me cause I now have Nate. The love of my life. The same love of my life who got paranoid over my best friend vying for my attention. What made it worse was that I was actually considering going to collect this present from Rakeem - utter madness! But for some reason, it seemed like the right thing to do. Today of all days, meant to be a joyous occasion for me was turning into one of the worst days of my life.
I got into Theo's car, sat back and breathed in heavily. I could feel his eyes on me, full of concern and worry and I felt bad keeping him in suspense but I couldn't help it - I genuinely had not been so confused in my lifetime.
"Wow, this has got to be the first time, since I've known you that you've been speechless - damn girl, it's like you done saw a ghost or something!"
"I might as well have seen a ghost mate - do you remember Rakeem?" I turned over to look at Theo and the smirk he had on his face dropped and he looked pissed - he definitely remembered him then.
"Y'all still talking? Thought he done gone to jail for life.. well I hoped so anyway. Y'all better not be talking Taylor, after all he put you through? After he nearly got you killed? Us killed? Damn Taylor, just thinking about his bitch ass is making my blood boil. Just please promise me, y'all aint talking or shit, please." I hadn't seen him this angry in years and it scared me quite a bit. I didn't want to tell him how I was feeling about the whole Rakeem situation and how I was considering going to see him and speaking to him but I didn't want to lie to him either. But for my own peace of mind and for closure, I needed to see Rakeem and end all of this for good. Theo didn't need to know, I'd be fine by myself.
"Nah not even, I just saw him on the bus today when I was with the twins and it shook me up a little bit because it's been so long, you know." I knew this didn't explain why I was struggling to breathe after looking at my phone and Theo probably didn't believe a word of it but I was praying he dropped it and changed the subject.
"If you say so, just remember I'm your best friend for a reason ya heard? Tell me whatever, aint a thing changed except I lost my north London accent and now I talk like a ghetto kid from the Bronx." That made me smile cause it was true, he was still my Theo, my best friend who I loved with my whole heart but couldn't bear to tell him about Rakeem.
Theo pressed play on the CD player and the sound of the love of my life (at this moment in time Nate had been knocked down to second place) J Cole suddenly filled the car and I felt more relaxed.
'What you know bout my nigga Cole girl? You wasn't with him shooting in the gym!' I laughed at his foolishness, knowing that he knew something was wrong and that I'd let him know in my own time but for now he would do what he was good at; being the fool that was my best friend. We drove to Theo's studio flat in Kensington and I was in awe. He parked in front of what looked like a hotel but was in fact a block of flats.
'So whilst I'm living in a dead house with my entire family, you're chilling in this posh people area like a cast member of Made In Chelsea! What drugs are you selling that you're able to afford to live here cause you need to bring me in asap!'. Huge ceiling to floor windows in the living room looking out onto the busy world below on from the top floor, making me fall in love with London all over again, dark brown leather sofas and chairs with a ridiculously soft chocolate brown rug, so plush your feet sunk into it if you dared dip a toe in. The flat was open plan and I looked over at the full furnished silver equipment and frosted glass cupboards and laughed knowing full well Theo would have no use for the kitchen except for packing the massive American style fridge freezer with alcohol. The 60 inch plasma mounted on the main wall of the living area looked almost too good to be true and I dared not go near it in case it fell off and it was my fault cause as much as I loved Theo, gyal like me nuh make money easy! Theo had disappeared and left me in this palace so I wondered about trying to find him, finding more and more to stare at with awe and wish I could live the kind of life he lived and imagined how great my life would be. I found the bedroom area and saw a King sized leather bed with about a million pillows of different shapes and sizes in varying shades of brown. I thought to myself, Theo is such a girl with his organised bed but then corrected myself when I realised he must have a cleaning lady or something but still didn't excuse the anal bedroom decor. I sat down on his bed and looked down at my odd socks clashing with his perfectly co-ordinated room and laughed to myself and as I looked up, Theo emerged from a door in the wall which scared the hell out of me cause I thought it was just a wall covered in a huuuuuuge mirror.
'Your house is too damn advanced for me T, you appearing from out of walls was last straw after seeing your girly bedroom' I threw a pillow at him and suddenly realised he wasn't wearing the jumper he had been wearing, he was now topless and wearing a pair of dark blue Levis. I hadn't seen Theo's body like this in like.. ever. He had a perfectly sculpted torso that looked like it'd been made by Greek Gods for my eyes to encounter and arms that you knew could crush you so easily yet hold you like you were being wrapped by clouds. I had to remind myself that this was Theo, my best friend and I had a had a boyfriend who was just as God like in milk chocolate form but it was hard with this fine caramel specimen was standing in front of me.
'Tay, you straight? You looked like you was in another world, what's on your mind girl?' If I told you, I'd have to kill you, I thought to myself, better yet, I'd have to jump you and cop a feel of those abs cause the way they were taunting me just was not right..
'Tay I think you'd better lay down, you ain't hearing a word I be saying and that ain't cool!' Theo came up to me and pulled back the duvet on his bed and got in, motioning me to do the same. I looked at him as if he was telling me to jump off a cliff.
'You want me to get in bed with you? Seriously?' Could Theo read my mind? Did I accidently say what I was thinking whilst I was in my little daydream. I started to feel hot and dizzy, the embarrassment of the possible situation taking its toll on my body and making me feel faint. I sat down quickly on the bed and felt Theo pull me towards him. There was no reason for me to be feeling this way, before Theo left for America with his mum, we would fall asleep on each other in our houses so this was the norm for us and yet I felt weak, the energy had been drained from my body so I couldn't even fight him plus it would have been pointless anyway with his huge arms so I lay on his chest, wrapped in his duvet, listening to the steady beat of his heart as I fell asleep.
When I woke up, I was surrounded by pillows but Theo was nowhere to be found and felt my heart skip a beat at thought of him leaving me in this big flat alone. I searched for a hoodie or jumper after looking for the entrance to Theo's ridiculous wardrobe and found one that I made for him on his 17th birthday with a cartoon figure of him on the front and his tag from back in the day on the back 'Mr De La Romeo'. It was extremely ridiculous back then and still to this day he cringed at the sound of it but hadn't thrown the hoodie away which made me smile. I went downstairs to see Theo coming through the front door with a huge black box with royal blue ribbon and a two smaller boxes of the same colours and when he realised I was standing there, he looked up at me and grinned.
'Evening sleepy head, you sleep aiight?' I nodded and walked over to where he was sitting on the sofa and curled up next to him. I don't know why I did it, but I felt like it was necessary, like I wasn't complete without being by his side. I hadn't felt this way about anyone since I'd been with Nate so to feel this way about Theo scared me but at the same time felt so right, I didn't want to question it so I pushed it to the back of my mind as Theo wrapped his arms round me asked me if I had heard what he just said.
'That those boxes are all for me?' I replied hopefully, praying that was the answer to his question. He laughed at me and shook his head.
'Nah, I asked if you was hungry but now you mention it, yeah they're for you. Y'all London girls are all the same, always wanting something'. He handed me the boxes and my heart raced with anxiety as I slowly pulled the ribbon off the biggest box. I lifted the lid and underneath blue wrapping paper was the sexiest dress I'd ever seen in my entire life. It was a metallic black bodycon bandeau dress with sleeves, high cut at the front and low cut just above my bum with gold chains at the back. I sat there speechless and in awe at the epic beauty of the dress in my hands until Theo shook me out of my trance.
'I'm guessing you like it then' he chuckled and gave me that beautiful smug smile of his. Damn, I loved that smile.. I snapped out of thinking about Theo and went back to opening the two remaining smaller boxes. The first had a pair of black snake print Christian Louboutins and the other had a simple black Chanel bag with a black and gold strap. I couldn't believe Theo had gone to such effort just for me when he really didn't have to, it's not like he was my boyfriend or something. Speaking of boyfriends, mine had not called me since he went off in a strop and I felt my expression swiftly switch from ultimate happiness to one of deep concern. I didn't want to give Theo the impression I wasn't happy with my amazing gifts so I quickly fixed my face and bowled him over with the biggest hug I could manage.
'I friggin love them all, thank you so much.' I gave him another hug and then a kiss on the cheek which very nearly was on the lips but I hoped he would ignore it just like I had and thankfully, he did and went into the kitchen and came back with a bottle of champagne and two tall glasses.
'Here is to long life, prosperity, and a friendship lasting eternity. Happy birthday boo, now drink up, shower and get that dress on, we got somewhere to be!' I laughed, drank my glass and was fireman lifted up on Theo's shoulder upstairs to his room whilst screaming and laughing like a mad woman. Theo put me on his bed, and left so I got changed, went into his bathroom and got in the shower. That bathroom was on a hotel tip, gold taps and all sorts - I was still confused as to how Theo got the money for all this but at that moment in time, I wasn't really that concerned. I got out of the shower, found Theo's cocoa butter and creamed well - it was not about having ashy ankles in a pair of Louboutins and a thigh skimming dress on my birthday! I slipped the dress over my hair I'd straightened - that in itself was a mean feat but it was my birthday, I had to look sophisticated as opposed to ghetto - ,placed my feet in my new shoes and stood in front of the mirrored wardrobe. Damn I looked good! I am not usually this vain but the dress emphasised my small waist, big bum and made my chest look even bigger and I liked what I saw.
'Wow shawty, where my best friend at, cause you looking too hella fine to be her!' I saw Theo standing in the doorway and threw a pillow at him for being slyly rude but still complimenting me. He didn't look half bad himself in a black polo, black leather VANS and he'd taken out his braids so his hair was like mine before I'd straightened it. He looked so damn FINE. Surely it wasn't normal to be this attracted to your best friend, right? I felt my body get hot and forced myself to think of Rakeem and my face must have dropped because he stopped grinning at me and came over and hugged me, lightly kissing cheek and tilting my face up towards him.
' Whatever it is that be bothering you and shit, let it go for tonight - it's your birthday, you gon' do you, have a mad time in the VIP with me, and wake up with a sweet hangover thinking 'damn, my best friend is truly the best'' He was so damn right all the time and always knew what to say. I smiled up at him and kissed his cheek.
'Thank you boo boo. You know I luh you right?' Theo bussed out laughing hard and lead me out of the house.
'Never EVER in yo life try and do an American accent, ya hear?' He was still spluttering and trying to control his laughter - I'm sure it wasn't THAT bad but I laughed to, glad I had changed up the mood. I looked way too fine to be upset! We got into his slick black convertible and I turned in my seat towards him.
'So where you taking me?' I asked, knowing full well he'd be ambiguous and shit but still testing my luck.
'You'll see boo boo, just know it's gonna be a MUAD TING, YOU GET ME!' I burst out laughing and turned back and leant back into the soft leather of the seat. Little did we know how right that statement Theo said was...