Aiden told himself he was glad it had happened. Glad that he'd seen first-hand why he and Lucas couldn't be friends. Why they couldn't be anything else, either. He wished the reminder had come sooner. When he hadn't felt what he'd felt. Before he'd decided that it was okay to feel what he had.
Aiden didn't think it was fine anymore.
Regret plagued him more than anything in the next few days. Not about turning in Hugh, but regret for indulging his fantasies about Lucas. He didn't want to forget them, he wanted to undo them. To unexpose himself.
"The swelling hasn't gone down." Tom frowned at his wrist. "It may be fractured after all."
Aiden flinched. No. His summer here couldn't end yet. He couldn't go back to that town. Not now. He wasn't ready. "Would playing the violin cause it to swell?"
Tom gave him an exasperated look. He put the ice pack down on the table. "Yes, Aiden."
Aiden watched him expertly rewrap it.
"No more violin." Tom warned, "And you aren't icing it. I can tell. Do it every night. More often if you can. Understood?"
"Yes sir." Aiden left his room. He wondered around the cabins, before slowly going to his own. Lucas and Kal had taken to avoiding it. Completely. Connor sometimes went with them, he sometimes made Aiden hang out with him. Not often though. Aiden wasn't much fun.
All it left Aiden with was his violin.
He played as soon as he got back to his room. He did the interview tunes. He did a few others. He mashed them into each other. He stared at the ceiling. He closed his eyes. Time passed weirdly like this. Minutes could feel like hours, or hours could feel like seconds.
His door banged.
"I'm trying to sleep." Kal called in.
Aiden stopped playing. His room was dark. Clouds hid even the moon from sight. He waited until he heard Kal's door closed and went out into the kitchen. His wrist was burning. He got out peas, the same ones that Hugh had used. He sat where Hugh had sat. Lay out where he had and put the ice on his arm.
It felt good.
Aiden lay motionless for a while, but now that he wasn't playing the violin anymore he couldn't stand the unease.
He'd turned Hugh in because he was different from before.
So, he may as well be different, and stop worrying about it.
Aiden knocked on Lucas's door. He only checked the time after he did. It was two in the morning. The door opened after only a few seconds. There was no sleepiness in Lucas's gaze. He was alert.
"What?" Lucas asked.
"Hugh threatened me when we first came to the cabins." Aiden said, "And when he made good on the threat I reported him. That's it. That's why he was sent away."
Lucas didn't say anything.
Aiden wondered if he already knew. He wondered if he just didn't care. Aiden stopped himself from feeling regret this time. He wasn't wrong to tell him. "Sorry if I woke you." He turned away.
"What did he do?" Lucas asked.
"Hit me." Aiden said. He kept his eyes trained ahead. He knew from Lucas's cold voice that he wasn't about to do another 180 in his behaviour towards Aiden.
"And what was the threat about?"
Aiden sighed. He met Lucas's closed off expression. "I'm sure you can guess that one."
Lucas crossed his arms. "You managed to hit him back."
"I'm not one for fighting." Aiden replied with a wry smile. "I guess Hugh wasn't expecting me to even try to protect myself."
Lucas was quiet for a few moments. Aiden turned to the kitchen again. Don't regret it. He told himself. Don't regret it. He was telling the truth. He was putting it out there. He was doing what he stopped himself from doing when they were kids.
Part of him wanted Lucas to apologise. The other part told him it didn't matter. This would just happen again. Aiden would be miserable, again. This was Lucas. Aiden had to stop expecting him to be perfect.
"Sorry it turned out like this." Aiden went down the hall when Lucas didn't speak.
He propped himself up on the chair again and put the peas back onto his arm.
Did he feel any better?
No.
He'd been expecting something. Aiden rubbed his eyes. Even though he'd told himself not to, he'd been holding out a small ray of hope for ... something.
*
Evie came in a few hours later. Aiden was sitting with a cup of coffee and a fresh, cold bag of vegetables on his arm. Evie had sprung on him and examined his wrist with a worried crease in her brow.
"Is it broken?" Evie asked.
"Sprained." Aiden dumped the cold vegetables back on it, blocking her view.
She glanced past him to the hallway and smiled. "Morning."
"Welcome back." Connor greeted with a yawn.
Aiden slipped his arm into his pocket.
"When did you get in?" Connor sat down next to Aiden.
"Just now." Evie tugged at her hair, splattering droplets onto the counter. "The rain just about caught us."
"Did you enjoy it?" Aiden questioned.
"It was good." Evie nodded, "I got sick of my dad by the end, but still good. How did you sprain it?"
Aiden leaned against his good arm.
"I knew he'd done something." Connor muttered.
"He?" Evie repeated. Her expression dropped. "Lucas did that?"
"No!" Aiden jolted. "Why would you think he meant Lucas?"
"No reason." Evie said quickly. "Hugh?"
"Yeah. Hugh." Connor confirmed.
Evie's eyes narrowed. Her jaw tensing. "That – can't you report him or something?"
"I did." Aiden said, "And he's gone."
"Good." Evie said, "What a prick."
"Agreed."
"You don't even know what happened." Aiden said mildly. The conversation was making him uncomfortable. But it seemed everything was making him uncomfortable recently.
"You didn't report him because he hurt you 'by accident'" Evie scoffed, "And that dude was always giving you dirty looks."
Evie must have caught on to his discomfort. "It's been dealt with, so I'm letting it go." She let out a long breath for emphasis. "So. When do we head out? Tomorrow? Rain is meant to let up by the evening."
Aiden cringed. Right. Camping trip. Lucas wouldn't want to go with him. Aiden only had to think about it for a moment. Lucas and Connor were here to get along. Aiden was the guide. If him going meant Lucas wouldn't, then it was obvious what should happen.
"I think I'm going to stay here." Aiden interrupted Evie's excited chatter awkwardly.
"No!" Evie squealed. "You have to come. Connor, tell him."
"You have to come." Connor told him.
"I'm injured." Aiden said.
"Not so injured you can't play violin all night." Connor pointed out.
Aiden glanced at him. He was sure Connor knew how tense it was between him and Lucas. It would be horrible if they had to go camping together.
"I'm leaving in a few days." Evie came around the counter and hugged Aiden from behind. "Please?"
Connor chuckled. "How can you say no to that?"
Aiden wanted to say no. He really, really wanted to. But he couldn't. "Fine."
"Woo!" Evie clapped. "I need to take a shower, lend me a change of clothes."
*
"Aiden, I'm sorry but I'll need to drive you to the doctors." Tom sighed. "It's been three days and your wrist is even more swollen than it was."
Evie and Connor both cast idle glances towards him and Tom, while Lucas stared. He wasn't being subtle. Aiden found it hard not to squirm.
"I'm sure it's not broken." Aiden said, "It doesn't hurt."
"That could be a sign that there's worse damage than we think."
"Actually, it hurts a bit."
Tom gave him a look. "Have you been icing it?"
"Yes."
"And you haven't played violin."
"Yes."
Kal snorted.
Tom glanced over and looked frustrated when he turned to Aiden. "I told you-"
"It was just a bit" Aiden lied, "I have the interview coming up and I need to practice. I won't do it again. Promise."
They stared off, and Tom gave an irritated shake of his head. "One day." He said, "If the swelling isn't gone down we're going back. Got it?"
"Got it." Aiden nodded.
Tom wrapped his wrist up and left the cabin.
Aiden let out a long breath. He'd have to endure doing nothing for a while. He couldn't stand that right now. If he had to stay in here, he'd go crazy.
"Are any of you planning anything for today?" Aiden asked staring out at the rain.
"Nothing in mind." Evie answered. Aiden took Lucas and Kal's silence as a 'no'.
"If you need anything, pop over to cabin two and ask for Tom." Aiden hopped down from the counter and went to his room. He changed into waterproofs and wore his bad boots.
"Whoa" Evie called from the coach, "You're going out in that?"
"I'll see you later." Aiden left before anyone tried to tag along.
He took the paths that were the safest in bad weather. He was drenched after not too long, but after he was completely soaked it was fine. He didn't have to huddle since there were no dry spots to protect.
He let himself think about how this summer was going to end. Worst case, his arm was broken. He'd have no more forest, stuck in town and wouldn't be able to play violin. Alternative was just a sprain, in which case Mandy wouldn't want him back until it was healed, which meant stuck in town.
No matter what, if he left to go the doctor now he wouldn't be coming back for a while.
The prospect was even worse than before.
Aiden wished he hadn't said anything. He'd just made everything so much harder for himself by reporting Hugh. It would have been easier to just endure it.
*
"Have you been outside this whole time?" Connor asked disapprovingly.
Aiden stripped down. his clothes were dripping out into a giant puddle at his feet. "I was icing my wrist." His skin was cold enough to be numb.
He felt a bit better. Tired. Tired enough that he could curl up in bed and just sleep, which was exactly what he wanted. His dread could leave him alone for a couple hours then.
"Take a shower before you go to bed." Connor told him.
"Will do." Aiden walked down the hall shivering hard.
His ten minutes of hot water in the shower felt good. When he got out, it was if his anxiety had been melted away. He knocked on Connor's door.
"What's up?" Connor looked surprised.
"Want to watch a movie?" Aiden asked.
Connor looked even more surprised. "Sure."
Aiden got the blankets this time. Connor made the popcorn. They put on newest Mummy movie. One without Evie's crush in it. One with Tom Cruise.
Aiden's head was heavy, and his nose blocked. He bet he had a fever too, if the chill in his body was anything to go by.
"I'm cold." Aiden said, while staring at the actors on screen. He paid special attention to the men. But he didn't need to keep testing himself. He already knew.
"You brought that on yourself" Connor left. He came back with another set of blankets, making it three duvets now lying on top of Aiden. Connor joined him and put a hot water bottle onto Aiden's lap.
Aiden stared at Cruise.
"Are you gay?" Aiden asked. He didn't have a coherent reason for it. He was certain that Connor had said he wasn't already.
"No" Connor turned towards Aiden, "I may be moved to dabble at some point. Maybe. But otherwise, no."
Aiden didn't look at him. It wasn't what he wanted to hear. He didn't think there was an answer that would have made him happy. Why was he even asking?
Connor's hand found Aiden's under the blanket, and he gave a gentle squeeze. "It's okay."
Aiden frowned. What was okay? He tried to ask, but the words couldn't get past his throat.