Kill ME

By cussmemo

152 29 12

Kill Me Isn't it clear ? KILL ME More

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By cussmemo

A/N HEY

 I sat on the bench with Noelle.

We didn't say anything.

For the first time all day, I thought it was best if we didn't talk. If only for those few precious minutes.

She stared at the cement, and I wondered if she was thinking of more ways to kill herself, or if maybe, just maybe, she was thinking of me.

It took a while for her to speak again.

I just watched the passing cars, and glanced at her every few seconds. I didn't dare do anything else.

"Thank you," she said softly.

I smiled.

"It was no problem."

"Where do you live?"

I shrugged.

"About fifteen minutes from here."

"Did you walk all this way?"

She seemed embarrassed, as though she had ruined my night by making me come all the way out there. In fact, it was quite the opposite; seeing her, despite the circumstances, made my night.

I scoffed.

"Walk? I ran."

She stared at me.

"Shut up."

"I did! I run track. Stupid shit finally went into use."

She stared at the ground.

"Why would you run all that way for me?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

She looked up at me and I saw tears well up in her eyes again.

"Because I'm stupid, and ugly, and boring, and suicidal, and-"

"Hey, hey, hey."

I shushed her and she laid her head on my shoulder.

"I'm stupid and ugly too, so don't worry about it.

She laughed quietly. Oh, how I loved her laugh

"You're not stupid or ugly."

"I'm pretty stupid. I mean, I have a pretty girl on my shoulder and I haven't even tried to kiss her."

She looked up at me and blushed.

"We've only talked twice, you know."

"And those two times have been magnificent."

"Since when did you get all bold all of a sudden?"

I smiled and thought about it. I really didn't know; being around Noelle just brought something out in me that made me want to show her that I wasn't just a shy, awkward, suicidal, depressed guy who likes to look at her.

I wanted to show her that I was worth it.

But I couldn't tell her that.

"I get bold around pretty girls, is all."

"I'm not that pretty."

"That's like saying 'The sun isn't that hot.'"

She blushed again and raised her head off my shoulder.

"I just tried to kill myself, you know."

"I know."

"You're pretty flippant about it."

"So are you, but I don't think flippancy is the right word. We're just saying facts: You tried to kill yourself a few minutes ago. The sky is blue. You're pretty."

"You're charming."

"You're adorable."

"Your hair is nice."

"Your bun is always put up really nice."

She laughed.

"Your compliments are really odd."

"Your eyes are really pretty."

"You dress really nice."

"Your sweater is one of the newest fashion statements of the century, truly."

She laughed again, and hit my chest.

"Oh my God, you're so weird sometimes. But anyway... Your face is really cute. It's all pale and it has all those beauty marks."

She reached up and softly touched one.

I grabbed her arm and leaned closer.

"Your lips look really soft."

"So do yours."

"Maybe we should test out our theories."

She smiled softly.

"I'd like that."

-SICKO


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