It’s very cold when I walk back into my room, fully collapsing on the bed with my clothes on. I climb out of them and settle beneath my cover, in my usual T-shirt and just underwear. I try to sleep all the worry off, but I stay to stare at the ceiling, remembering everything that happened and how Zayn said Liam used me. Is it true? Did he really use me?
I also think about Frankie and how she said she has seen Liam before. That means, she actually has seen Zayn before, as ‘Brad’, and Liam must’ve been with him. But I am still so confused because, according to Tommo, ‘Brad’ was the reason he got on the dating site, and how much of a coincidence was it to for Zayn and I to actually meet? Does Veronica have anything to do with this? How does Niall know Zayn?
It’s really late, somewhere around 4 o’clock in the morning, when I hear a knock on the door. Ignoring it, I turn to my side and tell myself it’s all in my head, that it’s totally impossible for someone to be knocking on my door by this time. My neighbors will never do that and the only person who’d be here is Liam, which is the last person I expect to see. I get to my feet and rush to the door, peeking through the hole and realizing it is Zayn. I immediately pull the door open and gasp, covering my mouth when I see how bloody he is.
“Oh my God!” I tug him in, wounded and astonished by his appearance. Several deep bruises surround his cheek, chin and eyes, I almost don’t recognize him. “What are you doing here?! You should be at the hospital! Why aren’t you there?” With his arm over my shoulder, he can’t even walk but I get him to my bathroom and make him sit on the toilet seat with the lid closed, while my hands tremble as I try to find the first aid kit from the cabinet and get the cotton board, band aids and Ibuprofen out of the box.
I am like a mad person, rooting for a frozen packet of vegetables in my fridge, a flannel over my shoulder. I never really expected him to come. I put everything in the sink and look down at him. “Remove your shirt.” My voice trips.
He seems a bit unsure, but does it anyway, peeling it off, showing his skin. I kneel down to touch his ribs, making him wince from pain. “I think I should take you to the hospital.”
“No…no hospital,” he waves his hand at me, too tired to even speak.
“Why did you come to me, Zayn?”
“You were the only person I thought of.” Only those words that fell from his lips were enough to ignite a spark in me, but that was not the deal right now, his injuries were.
I don’t say anything towards that, instead I try to clean his face up, and after several minutes of yelling, it’s over and he has a frozen packet on his face as I lead him out of my bathroom.
“I am so, so sorry for coming here like this, I should go.”
“Don’t be silly, look at you!” I pull him back to stop him from leaving. “And you can’t drive in such state.”
He gives up with a low groan and sighs, looking at me. “I am sorry.”
“For?”
“For getting in between you and Liam.”
“I—“
“I know, it’s none of my concern but I couldn’t just watch you being like that. I wouldn’t leave you the way I left you that time at the pub, not in another life time.”
“I just… I just never imagined him being with Elle, you know?” My lower lip trembles. I look down at my hands, how helpless they become when I begin to speak about my feelings. My nail polish is peeling off; imagine how I could have felt if I saw this many months back. “I mean-“I just break into tears again. It’s so painful.
“It’s okay, Nora…” he walks to me, putting his arms over and hugging me as I cry onto his bare chest. “He doesn’t deserve you.”
________________________
I insisted Zayn staying with me in the same bed because it’s nothing new but he decided to stay on the couch, because he was already too much of a bother. He was just in his briefs, since his clothes were being washed and dried by the machine. I gently get out of bed, clean myself up, at least not wanting to look too bad under the broad daylight. When I get to the living room, I realized it’s cleaned up. Everything is arranged, the floor is spotless, the dust has been removed from the furniture and the couch is empty. I call out his name, but realize he left a note on the table underneath a tray with food and coffee, which is still warm, telling me hasn’t been gone for too long.
Thanks for letting me stay – z :-) xx
I laugh because this reminds me of the time he left a note for me then, the first time he brought me home when I had too many margaritas to drink. I remember Veronica which makes me fetch my phone and dial up her number. After several dials, she picks up and we briefly speak because we were resuming our work at Harvey’s tomorrow. I also tell her that we have a bunch to speak about when we meet. When the call ends, all I go back to doing is thinking about Elle and Liam. How long will I torture myself? It has happened, so I guess I should let it be, isn’t it? Things weren’t supposed to end this way. I arrange my closet and decide what to wear for tomorrow.
________________________
The morning is dark; London is still a massive contrast to Italy. The skies are grey, and it is quite cold, I forget it’s soon going to be October and more of the bipolar weather is to come. I use the bus 789 as always and finally get to my destination, somewhere not too far away from the coffee shop Marcel and I always went to. I wonder how he is after this short break. I wonder how Monica is. I slightly smile as I remember how much I disliked her, but I came to adjust to her with time. It’s too nostalgic when I walk through the glass doors of this building. It’s as though I just watched myself falling with my briefcase tearing open and several papers spreading round me, only to be rescued by Veronica. This time, I don’t fall.
“You look amazing!” I see Monica get up behind the desk, bending over it to hug, which I accept. “How have you been? I see the sun has done you well!” She cheerfully comments, her bouncy blonde her falling to her shoulder as pushes out the book for me to sign. Just like old times. Everything seems so unusual after this break; I wonder how I’d ever go back to being this way. In fact, my life has been so different since I’ve walked into this place.
“I was in Italy for my sister’s wedding,” I inform her and chat a bit before I’m up the elevator with a bunch of people which leaves me smiling as I walk out into the twentieth floor and see Veronica standing right by her desk which opposes mine. I run to her and hug her hard, not even listening to her telling me to take it easy.
“You might want to take it a bit easy on me, darling: my body slightly hurts.”
“Ooh, I am sorry,” I slightly pull away and give a funny face, laughing. “What happened?”
“I went sky diving with my boyfriend, it didn’t go so well,” I widen my eyes. Veronica, going sky diving? We burst into laughter.
“He said he wanted to see us both once we both were present,” she points to Mr. Harvey’s door. She leads me there and we walk in, to see the usual Harvey sitting in his chair, drinking coffee.
“How was your break?” He sounds jolly. We politely reply, but he asks for me to stay and for Veronica to leave. She gives me a look saying it might not be anything big. When the door closes, Harvey speaks.
“Sit.” And I do sit by one of the chairs in front of his mahogany desk. The view is still as beautiful as it was the first time I came into his office.
“I guess you know who I am now, don’t you?” His sudden change of topic surprises me that I don’t really know how to reply.
“That my boss is my uncle, yes…” I unsurely say. It felt very strange saying it.
“It wasn’t in my hands to tell you,” he takes a long sip from his cup of coffee.
“How come I never saw you when I was little?”
“Your father and I weren’t in touch by then. I was starting up my business and he was starting up a family, we both had different things to do.”
“And, did you know I was your niece?”
“Of course I knew, Eleanora. As soon as you sent that video, I recognized who you were. You look so much like your mother,” he warmly smiles at me, setting his hands together and pushing his chair forwards. “I had also known all along about what happened when you left and it was a great opportunity for your parents and me to take care of you.”
All this time when I said my parents hated my guts, they were actually looking out for me…
“Since all is known now, we no more have to pretend we are not family,” He briefly tells me about how happy my parents were when I got covered under his wing, “but that doesn’t stop you from working.”
“I know,” I laugh, “I guess there is a lot to do.” I get up and thank him for everything he has done.
“We have always cared about you,” Is the last thing I hear before I shut the door and stare at Veronica.
________________________
Once it is lunch time (which we decide to go over to the Italian’s) we take our typical order and talk over food. I tell her everything that happened from the moment the break started to yesterday. I tell her about Zayn and Liam and all the drama that has been going on.
“Do you think I should personally visit Elle and ask her why she decided to do that?”
“No,” she rushes, “Don’t want to start a fight now, do you?”
“I don’t want to start a fight, but… I am just very curious.”
“There are something’s that aren’t meant to be known,” I would never forget this look she gives me. It is very familiar, but I don’t get to point it out; maybe I had all this pressure affecting my senses. After work, I realize Marcel didn’t come, so I text him and wonder where he could be. Another thing I worry about is my decision about Elle. I take it into my own hands and call Esmée, because she’d probably know where Elle lives.
“Are you sure you want to go over to her place?”
“Trust me, I just want to talk.” And with a little more talking, she tells me Elle’s address, which takes me forever to get there, but once I do, I give the cab driver a £20 note and get out of the car, plenty trees surrounding the building she lived in. The corridors and stairs weren’t as neat, but once I get to her door, I knock several times.
“Who is it?” She calls.
“Nora.” I awkwardly say, and for a moment, I think she wouldn’t let me in, but she opens the door and gives me a sorry look, looking down at her feet as she quietly tells me to come in. Her walls are painted pale orange and her living room is the first I see. It’s very small, you could literally jump from the couch to the kitchen and to the T.V but she clears it up by saying “The dance room takes up all the space.” And I nod.
“Want something to drink?” She politely asks when I sit.
“No, thank you. I actually came here to speak.” She sits by my side, elbow on the armrest, and hand on her forehead.
“I know what I did was wrong—“
“How could you do this to me, Elle? I am sorry if you didn’t really like me but how? Do you know how bad that feels? That the person I am clearly with is having sex with you?!”
“Look—“
“No, you look. What the hell did I ever do to you to deserve this?” I say loudly, pointing at her.
“Would you let me speak for a moment, please?” She collects herself and breathes hard. “You never did anything wrong.”
“Then why the hell did I get photos of you and him together?”
“Because it was planned.”
“What?”
“I am not even supposed to be talking about this, Nora. He’d have me by my throat if you knew.”
“He?” I narrow my eyes at her.
“My job is on the line, I-I really wish I could tell you…” she begins to tap her fingers on her knees, looking at the blank T.V screen.
“I wouldn’t do anything about it, I swear. I just want to know… Please…”
“But hasn’t he told you?”
“Hasn’t who told me?” I am nearly about to pull my hair out.
“Zayn?”
“What? I don’t get it. Told me what?”
“How the hell am I ever going to live my life…” she mutters. “He promised to promote my dancing skills if I got to ruin yours and Liam’s relationship.
My mind gets dizzy.
“How-how would he promote it?”
“He’s a journalist, Nora. He’d put me up.” She hides her face in her hands and mumbles how sorry she is and that she didn’t mean to cause me so much pain.
I really don’t know who hurt me most.