(Aiden's PoV)
I always had mixed feelings about school. I loved it. I was one of those rare cases, I suppose. I loved everything about school. Loved learning. Loved the prospect of learning, and I loved my teachers, who actually seemed excited about teaching. They were passionate, even though the majority of the students didn't seem to care, or pay attention in class. I loved the environment, too. My school was so beautiful. And it was a great place to people watch. Most of the time I liked to think of the student body as the basis of a... Social experiment. And the school housed it all. I thought that was fun, and it was just one of the many reasons I really did enjoy going. Watching other people my age interact and live their lives was fun. I had many other reasons as to why I loved going to school, too... When I had just begun my high school journey. But now that I was a Junior... Let's just say that over the years, the list had dwindled quite a bit. My high school might have had a deceptive veil draped over it, I suppose. I know it did. It was beautiful, yes, and the teachers were great, yes, and much was to be learned, yes, and students always seemed to get along, yes but... Bullies were prevalent. There was an obvious social ladder, and it was a painful climb to the top. That was one of the reasons why I hated school. The different cliques were so solid in their different 'rules and belief systems' that it was hard to make friends. Rumors ran rampant, and if you took one wrong step, you were done for. Unfortunately for me, every step I took in my freshman year was the wrong one. And here I was, miserable. So miserable in fact, that I woke up every morning feeling sick, tired, anxious, and dreading the day. Every morning seemed to get worse.
This morning was no different. In fact, it did feel worse.
My alarm had gone off a good ten minutes ago, but there I still stayed, laying in my bed and staring up at the ceiling. It was white. Like every other room in the house. I had wanted to paint it a pretty, calming color of purple, but my father refused to give me that pleasure, like he did with most things. I sighed, quietly cursing the blankness of the white in my head.
I was snapped from my thoughts when an aggressive knock shook my door. I nearly jumped out of my skin and the sharp noise. "What?" I croaked, my normally soft, shy voice sounding more rough and 'masculine' from not yet being fully awake. "Come on! You're wasting time! If you don't hurry your ass up I'm going to leave without you!" My brother could never be pleasant, for some reason. I rolled my eyes and listened to him storm off, muttering a "fucking annoying little piece of shit prick son of a bitch..." as he left. I could tell that half way through he wasn't even trying to come up with any sort of insult anymore... He was just angry, and was spewing nonsense. I gently bit my bottom lip, holding in a laugh.
As my brother had wanted, I finally got out of bed and got ready for the day. Grabbing my normal, bland looking clothes, I hurried into the bathroom and started my shower. I was pretty quick with it, as usual, and managed to get out and dry off within ten minutes or so. Quickly I got dressed and, with a damp towel in hand, wiped away the steam from the mirror. And there I was, staring back at myself. I looked away and grabbed a comb, dragging it through my long, jet black hair unforgivingly. It got so tangled...
Once my hair was... Somewhat tidied, I set my comb back in its place and, before leaving the bathroom, gave myself one more glance in the mirror. I don't know why I did it, really... Every time I looked at myself I just began to feel more... Ohh, I never knew what to call it. Depressed? Ashamed? Maybe those, and more. I don't know why I couldn't be handsome like my brother Stephen. Sure, he had a bad attitude, but he was attractive. Somehow I felt that that was a better deal. Maybe it was just because I had felt so ugly for so long. How could one blame me, though? I was small and pale, and unfortunately dainty looking. In fact, quite a few people mistook me for a girl, or young woman. It was embarrassing. I guess it didn't help that I was Asian, either. Most of my family (other than Stephen) were on the shorter side, and our features were always soft. And... Yeah, alright, it probably didn't help that my hair was long, either. It was starting to grow past my shoulders, and my bangs were starting to get into my face a little too much, too. I knew someone was going to comment on that sooner or later. Might as well prepare for it now.
Sighing, I headed down the hall and made it back to my room to put on my red hi-tops, the only color in my entire outfit, and grabbed my backpack. After, I headed down stairs where my mother was waiting with a plate of breakfast I assumed was mine. Stephen was almost done with his. I was glad I got into the kitchen when I did - my brother would have eaten my breakfast, too. Setting my bag on the ground next to my chair, I poked at my food and mushed it around, giving the illusion that I had eaten something. Every once in a while I would take a small bite or two, but I was never really hungry. Moreso in the morning. I was usually too worried about what I'd have to deal with during my day to eat all that much. If I did, I fear that I'd just end up puking. I let an adequate amount of time pass before hopping out of my seat and doing away with my breakfast, which was almost completely still there. I didn't like to waste food, but I didn't like to eat, more, so I got rid of the evidence and quickly bounded back up the stairs to brush my teeth.
With my brother now breathing down my neck to get going, I collected my things once more, shrugged my backpack on and headed outside behind him. He hardly gave me any time to get into the car and get my seatbelt on before peeling out of the driveway and speeding down the street. He wanted to get to school. But... Not for the right reasons. He wanted to chat up the ladies and beat up on his friends.
"Why do you always wear those stupid clothes? They make you look like a pansy." I looked down at my black skinny jeans and over sized white long sleeved shirt in question. I then looked at Stephen and shrugged my shoulders. "They're comfortable," I commented in a hushed tone. "Freak," I could hear him growl to himself. Didn't bother me, really, I was used to his insensitivity. I dealt with bad attitudes a lot, from a lot of different people.
Within a matter of minutes, we were skidding into the front parking lot of my school. The car stopped with a jerk, which made me thankful for seatbelts. Unbuckling my seatbelt and slipping out of the car, I gave Stephen a smile and waved him off. "Bye, thanks for the ride." He grumbled something inaudible to me and sped off once again, this time to the community college that was just down the street. This was his fourth year attending. He had officially given up. His loss.
As soon as I entered the main building of my own school, I could feel my heart begin to race, and my breath became shallow. I was barely in there for two seconds and already I was on the verge of an anxiety attack. This is how bad it was getting. These other teenagers around me were ruining my high school experience with their nastiness, and it was causing me a great amount of anxiety. It was unbearable and sickening, but there was nothing I could do. So, I kept my head down, and tried to be invisible. Something I strived for on a daily basis.
It seemed to me that luck was on my side today. I managed to make it to my locker without incident. I carefully entered the combination into my lock and opened up my locker. I took out the books I was going to need for the morning, and shoved the rest of my books back in, which I'd come back for at lunch. I also grabbed my sketch book from my locker, which I had stupidly left in there the day before. I felt so relieved to have it back, all I wanted to do was find somewhere quiet to sit and sketch, but I couldn't. Someone was approaching me. Someone I knew would hate just sitting still in the quiet while I drew and slowly slipped into my own little world. The only friend I had at this school. Theo.
"Hey, Aiden!" He called, giving me a bright, crooked grin and a lazy wave.
"Hey, Theo. How are you?" I closed my locker and relocked the lock before turning to look up at him. Of course, how could I forget about Theo? He was most definitely my favorite thing about this school of mine. He was my best friend. Which... Was kind of funny, since we made a pretty odd couple.
"Oh! I'm okay! I slept surprisingly well last night. And you won't believe what happened yesterday after class! See, me and my little sister went to the park, right? And we decided that, since the creek had filled up with water again after all that rain, that we'd go and check out--"
Theo always seemed to do this. He liked to talk. He was an excitable person. I didn't really mind it, though. It made up for my own lack of communication. I'm glad that he put up with it, really... It wasn't always easy for me to just... Open up and speak. He really balanced me out, since I was such an introvert. It was nice. Most of the time though I really would listen to his stories. I was interested in what he had to say. But this time... Things were a little different. Something more... Interesting had caught my attention. What it was, exactly... Was the most attractive guy I had ever seen. He was painfully handsome, and, well... The typical high school jock, unfortunately. He was the prized football player, and the lady killer of the school. Guys wanted to be him, and girls wanted to be with him. He was tall and muscular, with amazingly broad shoulders and a confidant walk that made all of his crushes melt. Myself included. His hair was on the shorter side, and such a rich inviting color brown... It looked so soft and touchable, and his skin was a lovely tanned color, probably from being outside so often training and keeping fit. What got me most, though, were his eyes. It sounded cliché, I know, but his eyes were the most amazing color brown, I could just get lost in them. they weren't anything like my own muddy brown orbs. Oh! And then... There was his smile. Which was so dazzling and white... And his lips which were just as perfect and plump... I could definitely stare at those lips all day, and that smile. I quickly came to the conclusion that every bit of him was definitely swoon worthy. He always looked perfect. I didn't understand how someone so perfect could even exist like this. But there he was. Approaching. Coming ever closer. It hadn't even occurred to me that he was actually walking down the hall with his group of friends. They were being loud and rowdy, but that didn't matter. I was just clinging to my messenger bag and shamelessly enjoying the view. Normally I wouldn't even think of doing this sort of thing... Most of the time I didn't dare even look him in the eye, or even glance at him, but today... Today I just wanted to look. it was one of those rare days where I felt brave enough to get an eyefull that would last me weeks, maybe even months. I... I was allowed to look every once in a while, right?
Of course not. I should have known better. I should have known that I'd have to pay a price for my staring.
My love interest, obviously, had noticed my staring. If he hadn't I would have thought he was going blind. I knew he couldn't let me get away with my staring. He couldn't just shrug it off and pass me by. No, he had an image to uphold. And he didn't like being started at by a weirdo!
With an expression of annoyance clouding his face, the male stopped in front of Theo and myself. Theo had stopped talking and shrank away, already suspicious of this entire scene. "Stop. Fucking. Staring at me." His voice. Even though it was sharp and aggressive towards me, it was still music to my ears. Many times before I had heard his tone more playful and friendly when directed towards friends, and it was such a beautiful thing.
"Sorry," I mewed, finally tearing my gaze away and letting it glue to the floor. I could feel my face suddenly get very hot. I was blushing. Profusely. All of that embarrassment I should have felt after staring just a little too long was starting to wash over me. It was horrible. And to make things just that much worse, the object of my affection placed a large, imposing hand on my chest, and shoved me into the lockers behind me with enough force to nearly knock the wind from my lungs. I took a shaky, labored breath before sinking to the floor. My eyes were wide with shock, and for a moment, all I could hear was my own thumping heartbeat, but, that was soon replaced with cheers from male friends and squeals and giggles from girls. "Ew Lukas, you touched it! You know you're not supposed to touch the freaky kids! You might catch their ick!" A female voice jeered. Lukas... The boy my heart ached for, shrugged and smirked. "I had to do it. How else is the kid gonna learn that it's rude to stare?" His friends found that extremely funny, and continued to cackle as they started to make their way down the hall again.
Theo, who had stayed as still as a statue until the group was a good twenty feet away, finally crumbled to the floor next to me. He wrapped a reassuring arm around my shoulders, noticing that I was still visibly shaken. And my face was still bright red. "A... Are you.. Okay?" I nodded. My shaky fingers pulled my thick black rimmed glasses from my face, and I handed them to Theo to hold while I pressed my palms against my eyes. "Please don't cry... He's just a jerk. And... To be honest... We don't need to drag anymore attention to ourselves." Pulling my hands away from my face, I looked over at my friend, who was now a fuzzy, shapeless blob. I gave him an annoyed look. I could hear him chuckle, and knew he was smiling. "Well, it's true! We don't need that jackass coming back!" Now I was smiling, too. "I guess you're right." Taking my glasses back, I set them back onto my face, and once more, my friend had taken the shape of a human. "Come on, let's just go to class. It's safer if we sit in there," I commented, getting to my feet. I held my hand out to Theo and he took it, carefully standing on his own pencil thin legs once more. "So, once we get to class... Can I tell you the rest of my story?" I gave him a sheepish smile. "Of course."
Given the cue to continue, Theo's story picked up where it left off, but, once again, I wasn't listening. No, I was wallowing in my own shame.
How could I be so in... Love... With someone that harassed and abused me on a nearly daily basis? I couldn't help but feel I really was a freak for those very reasons.