The primary emotion that ran through me when I first woke up was fear.
It was way too bright outside to be morning time, so I hastily glanced at my phone to check the time. When 1:15 p.m. glowed on my screen, my trepidation heightened.
I noticed that Bailee had texted me.
Bailee: I let Lillia know that you didn't get much sleep last night and would be taking the day off. Call if you need anything.
Emily: Can't even begin to express my appreciation. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!
It then that I realized that my head was resting on Joey's chest. I closed my eyes and inhaled his inviting, minty scent. I felt a deep chuckle vibrate through his body, and when I realized I'd been caught, my cheeks turned crimson.
"Good morning to you, too," he said in his raspy morning voice. "Seeing as we practically slept through school, do you want to get breakfast?"
I nodded and struggled to get out of the hammock. I felt his hot breath on the back of my neck as he laughed at my fail, before he lifted me up bridal style. I was grateful that the hoodie and sweatpants hid the abrupt goose bumps that coated my body. He kissed my temple before placing me on the ground.
"Stay put," he instructed. I was too tired to disobey, so I stood there. He grabbed my blanket, wrapped it around me, and then swooped me up in his arms again.
"I can walk, you know," I told him.
"I don't want you to trip over your blanket," he responded plainly. Despite his crappy justification, I didn't argue with him. Instead, I snuggled into his chest until we arrived to his car.
During the drive to the Waffle House, I managed to get my hair into a messy bun and rub the sleepy expression from my face.
We ignored the strange looks that were shot our way in the restaurant, and focused our ravenous thoughts on our waffles. Mine were topped with strawberries, while Joey's were smothered with blueberries.
"Do you think we should go to Penelope's party this weekend?" I hesitantly asked.
"Yeah, I think it'll be fun. We haven't been to a party in forever."
"Yeah, you're right. I'm kind of excited for it," I gushed.
"Are we staying at a hotel or at Penelope's?"
"She's going to have so many people there. I say we're better off just going to a hotel," I replied honestly.
"I was thinking the same thing," he laughed.
We spent the rest of the time shoving waffles in our mouths and teasing each other about being messy eaters. Despite my previous hatred for blueberries, he insisted that I tried his waffles. Eventually, I complied, and to my surprise, they were actually pretty good.
"You're just too stubborn to try new things," he casually declared.
"I am not."
In an amused tone, he shot back, "Are too."
On the drive home, I was so lost in thought that I hadn't even noticed when we were parked.
"Is something on your mind?" Joey wondered aloud.
"No."
"Emily..."
"Joseph..." I mocked.
He frowned, and at the moment, I made my decision: I would show him.
"Fine," I sighed. We got out of the car and I grabbed his hand and practically ran towards my house with Joey trailing closely behind me.
I led him into my room and sat on my bed. "Go in my closet," I ordered.
"Uh, Em, I--"
I cut off the stammering boy in front of me. "Just do it."
He mumbled something incoherent under his breath and awkwardly walked straight into my closet. "Um, nice clothes?"
I laughed. "Push the clothes to the side." He followed my instructions, still unsure of my intention, which only humored me further.
He was shocked to see a door concealed by my clothes and looked at me, silently asking for my approval to open it. I grinned and nodded, hopping off my bed to follow him inside.
We were met with a short hallway that had a door in the middle. The door was bright pink and had "Princess Station" written on it. We went inside, and I heard him gasp.
Lined around the perimeter of the square room were my dresses in a color coordinated manner. Beneath them were all of my shoes, which were also color coordinated. In the center of the room was a full length mirror and a structure that held all of my accessories: gloves, purses, and jewelry. The floor was masked by white carpet, and the walls were painted a pale pink color.
The room was basically an explosion of glitter, ruffles, and lace.
I loved it.
"Wow, I...wow," he gaped. "It's very you."
I chuckled lightly, "Yeah, this is where Lillia and I get ready for all of the formal events."
He nodded in understanding. "It's like a volcano of girly junk erupted," he snickered.
I stuck out my tongue at him playfully. "This actually wasn't the room I was going to show you, though. Follow me."
He did as he was told and watched as I went to the very end of the secret hallway. I pulled on a rope, which caused a ladder to slowly descend to the ground.
I gestured for him to ascend the steps into the attic. He eyed me curiously before stepping onto the ladder.
When we both reached the top, he took in his surroundings.
The small room was not glamorous at all. The plain hardwood floor complimented the soft, yellow walls. The only furniture was a small bed in the corner draped in simple bedding, some knick-knacks, and a crate.
Joey gave me a look, and I nodded. He opened the crate and his eyes bulged as he took in the various alcoholic drinks inside. Some were full, others were empty, and there were numerous cups littered in and around the box.
"If I knew you'd be up here, I would have cleaned up a bit," I mumbled, marginally abashed at the mess.
"Is this your safe haven?"
I nodded numbly. "Only my mom knows this room exists. She might've told Ana, but she's never mentioned it. But that's all. I convinced Lillia that it was used for storage."
"Thank you," he responded, scanning the area once again.
"For what?"
"For showing me...for trusting me," he responded thoughtfully.
"Thank you for trusting me with yours."
His eyes landed on my alcohol stash, and I felt an involuntary shiver run through my body. "When was the last time you drank up here?"
"It's been a while," I admitted, rubbing my arms. "I made myself stop. It was selfish of me--relying on alcohol to numb my pain. After all, I caused the pain myself. It's only fair that I faced it. It was cowardly of me to shy away from it and hide. I needed to be strong and to own up to what I've done. After all, acceptance is the first step to forgiveness."
He shuffled over to me and ran his hands up my arms, sending shivers uncontrollably through my body. "I don't think that was selfish of you. I mean, as humans, our first instinct is to protect ourselves. And for you, drinking away the pain was a form of protection." His response surprised me. I never looked at it that way. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you stopped," he added with a small smile.
I wrapped my arms and waited as he followed suit.
Neither of us said anything, and we didn't have to. We stood there, and we just hugged.
After I pulled away from our embrace, I looked up and studied his face. He stared back at me with soft features, his eyebrows crinkled in confusion, as his deep, blue eyes boring into mine. I noticed a faint, jagged scar hidden behind his right eyebrow.
I traced over it with the pad of my thumb. "What's this from?" I asked with a frown.
He shifted his weight under my prominent stare. "I fell when I was younger."
I didn't believe him for a second, but I chose to let it go. "Oh, okay." I mumbled.
If he noticed my lack of belief in his lie, he didn't show it. Instead, he started smiling in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Do you want to go back down before your sister and Lillia get home from school? You know they'll come looking for you."
He was right, and I wasn't ready to answer Lillia's endless questions.
I nodded and followed him down the ladder. I tugged on the string again, and this time the ladder folded up into the attic, fully concealed. We went back through my closet and into my bedroom.
Minutes later, Lillia arrived with all of my homework.
Yay.
She bounced up the stairs to my room and stopped short in the doorway when she saw Joey.
"Hey Lillia," he greeted.
"So the two of you decided to play hooky today?" she asked with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
"Of course not. I barely got any sleep last night," I explained.
"What about you?" she asked, staring Joey down.
"I wasn't feeling good this morning, but I'm fine now."
Lillia eyed us suspiciously, but I knew she bought it. "Well I brought you your homework."
I thanked Lillia, and she stayed over for a while. For the first time in a while, the three of us hung out without Jake.
When Jake called me after they left, we talked briefly until I had to cut him off. Apparently I had a math quiz to study for.
For dinner, my dad grilled hamburgers and hotdogs, and we ate a meal as a family for the first time in months.
"I didn't go to school today," I disclosed, taking a huge bite of my hotdog.
"Why not?" My mom asked half-heartedly.
"I barely got any sleep last night," I shrugged.
Silence.
My mother didn't even respond to me.
I cleared my throat and repeated myself, "I said that I barely slept last night."
"I heard you the first time," she replied, clearly annoyed.
I forced myself to look at Ana. She was the only thing keeping me sane.
I almost worked up the nerve to ask my mom why she cared more for Ana than me.
But the answer was pretty obvious.
Anastasia was the epitome of a perfect child: smart, kind, funny. She was such a good kid--I've never even heard her raise her voice before.
Then there was me, her polar opposite.
I was a lost cause, and my mom knew it.
But sometimes I tried to imagine what it was like to have rules and curfews. In reality, I would probably hate it, but at the end of the day, a mom that punished me was better than one who gave up on me.
But I'm a lost cause, and I don't blame her for choosing Ana.
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Poor Emily! :(
Who do we like more.....Joey or Jake???!
I'm already at 400 reads!! :) thank you sosososo much!!!