a / n :
hi! sorry about the sporadic updates. as much as i'd hate to admit it, i'm actually having a lot of trouble writing this story. i don't really know why, but i'm guessing it's probably because i need to plan it out more elaborately before attempting to write it.
in any case, things are still a bit slow for now (story-wise), but i promise they'll pick up soon. :)
s i x
COLIN'S SURPRISED AT HOW much living with Sadie feels like living with a girl.
The atmosphere in their apartment has changed. He can't pinpoint why, exactly, but there were little changes that did stand out. For one, the place became somewhat neater.
It's not because Sadie was cleaning or anything. It's just that Perry and Drew actually pick up after themselves now.
After two years of living with them, Colin has grown used to seeing Perry's underwear lying haphazardly on the floor, or Drew's dirty clothes strewn all over the place, but Sadie's presence seems to have eliminated all that.
The whole apartment also started smelling less like sweat. Sadie brought this dehumidifier thing—a weird, semi-globe like thing that swished liquid around when plugged in—and placed it in the common area, making the place smell mildly of green tea.
The bathroom started smelling differently too. The fruity scent of Sadie's shampoo replaced the lingering smell of aftershave, or of Axe, which Drew used not because he liked it, but because he won, like, thirty cans of it during some Frat event he'd attended a few weeks back.
It has only been one week since Sadie moved in, but the changes are already so evident.
What annoys Colin the most is that they're not necessarily bad changes. In fact, it makes the apartment feel more like a home and less like a gym locker room. Which is a good thing. But that doesn't mean he's happy with the idea of Sadie living there.
"She's never moving out," Perry said Tuesday night, his mouth full of the spaghetti Sadie had cooked for them. "I won't let her."
Drew nods in agreement, too busy chewing to talk.
Colin glowers at his two friends and Sadie just laughs when she sees the look on his face.
"Don't worry," she told him. "I'll be out of your hair soon."
This was naturally met with Perry's indignant protests. Sadie just laughed it off, and in moments like that, he could almost see a semblance of her old self.
Later that night, though, he found himself waking up at three o'clock, his throat parched and begging for some water. He was just about to get out of bed when he heard her.
She was trying her best to be quiet, but Colin could hear loud and clear.
He tried his best to fall back asleep, but it was difficult, and he ended up staring silently at the dark ceiling until her quiet sobbing dissipated and her breathing finally evened out.
◇
The days went by excruciatingly slow, battered with deadlines and hours of cramming months of work into frantic all-nighters. By the time Friday rolled around, they were all itching to get out of the apartment and take a breather.
"Aw, come on, Sade. It'll be fun. Colin's paying!"
"I am not paying jack shit," Colin responds almost automatically, casting a glare at Drew's direction.
Drew gives him a pleading look. "But we need to bond."
Colin rolls his eyes, grabbing a glass to pour himself some water.
"It's fine," Sadie says. "I'd really rather finish up on my Econ readings."
"Fuck Econ," Perry says from across the room, where he's standing in front of the small mirror they hung up next to their bedroom. door He's fixing his hair with some kind of product, looking this way and that to examine it.
"Fuck Econ," Drew echoes. He gives Sadie an easy smile. "I stopped reading that shit by the third meeting."
"That's because you're with Anderson." Sadie rolls her eyes. "Finney's always getting on our backs about taking the reading assignments seriously."
Drew nudges her with an elbow. "Come on. We need to at least celebrate your first week with us."
Colin keeps out of the conversation, knowing full well it was out of his hands. Whether Sadie agrees to join them or not is entirely up to her. He can't help but glower though. Why did his friends want her around in the first place? It's not like she's particularly fun to be with. She's just sort of... there, eating half her food and pushing the rest around her plate till it's time to leave.
His eyes narrow further at the thought, but then Sadie looks up to catch him glaring. He immediately turns away.
"What do you say, Sade?" Perry prompts.
Sadie pauses for a moment. Drew nudges her with an elbow again, and finally she relents.
"I guess a drink or two won't hurt."
◇
The thing about drinks, however, is that people rarely ever stick to just one or two.
They grabbed dinner from Erlinda's, a small eatery that serves Filipino food. It doesn't seem much from the outside, and the place is as unassuming as it can get. Not a lot of people knew about it. Colin found it when he moved in, and when he'd introduced it to his friends, it immediately became one of their favorites.
"Wow," Sadie said when she scanned the one-page menu, a laminated printout with a list of dishes that have grown familiar to Colin by now. "This reminds me of Hadley so much."
Hadley's half-Filipino, and her mother and grandmother always cooked Filipino food at their household. Dinner with them was always something Colin looked forward to.
They all agreed to sharing an order of bulalo and a platter of white rice, and for the first time since she'd moved in with them, Sadie seemed to actually enjoy the food.
They left Erlinda's after having had enough of the delicious beef broth. They head for Barrels Up, one of the lesser known bars in the area when they see that Jeremy's is brimming with the people. They make their way through the busy sidewalk, with Colin opting to walk beside Drew while Perry and Sadie walk ahead of them.
"Can I ask you something?"
Colin's eyebrows rise. He eyes Drew for a moment before nodding uncertainly. "What's up?"
"Do you think Sadie's all right?"
The question surprises him. Drew has always been easily the sweetest among the three of them, but he doesn't really strike Colin (or anyone, for that matter) as the observant type. His happy-go-lucky demeanor makes it seem like he doesn't really worry too much about the negative things, and him wondering about Sadie's well-being takes Colin by surprise.
"I dunno," he replies, looking at the back of Sadie's head.
"Daniel talked to me the other day. He seems pretty worried about her."
"What did he say?"
Drew shrugs. "Just asked me how she was doing. He knows she's living with us now, so she must've told him when she moved out of their place."
Colin doesn't say anything.
"Does she talk to you?" he asks. "Did she tell you anything about their breakup?"
"Not really."
"Daniel seems to really care about her, though. I wonder what went wrong." Drew shrugs. "Maybe it's just a short break, yeah? It would be nice if they worked things out and got back together."
Thankfully, they reach Barrels Up before he's forced to reply to this. The conversation goes unforgotten as Drew sees the sign up front and raves about the band playing. Apparently, he knows the lead singer from one of his past classes or some shit, and he proceeds to tell them in great detail about this kid's sob story.
The band is still setting up on the small podium when they file into the bar. It's a pretty small bar, but there's a good crowd. It's not as packed as Jeremy's, but it's not dead empty either.
"I'll get the first round. You guys find us a good spot." Perry turns to Sadie. "Beer okay with you?"
"Yeah," she replies. "Thanks, Per."
Perry winks in reply and Colin just rolls his eyes.
"I'll go say hi to Kurt," Drew tells them before heading to the podium.
"I'd never been here before," Sadie tells Colin, looking around the bar's interior.
He doesn't respond. His eyes zero in on an unoccupied booth and he wordlessly heads for it. Sadie follows behind him. He takes a seat as soon as they reach the table, but he soon regrets this because Sadie takes it as an opportunity to slide right next to him.
He scowls at her. "Can you, like, not sit next to me?"
"Oh. Sorry."
Colin can't believe it. He blinks, surprised, as Sadie stands up obediently. He watches her as she makes her way to the opposite seat, a strange feeling of shame creeping over his shoulder. The guilt trickles past his throat, sour and unwanted, but it's immediately replaced by irritation.
"Okay, that's it," he says as she sits across him. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
The old Sadie would have scooted closer to him. She would have blinked innocently and said some annoying dumb shit like, "I don't know, can I?" before giving him a faux innocent smile. She would have stayed there until Colin stood up and squeezed past her to sit elsewhere, and then she'd laugh at his face because she'd once again successfully riled him up.
Now she sits there, looking surprised at his sudden outburst.
Colin seethes in frustration. It's like she's perpetually dazed. Like she's just going through the motions of her life. Sometimes, he'd see a glimpse of the Sadie he knows, the Sadie he'd had to deal with for most of his life, but then she'd disappear so quickly it's like his eyes were just fooling him.
He stares her down with his nostrils flaring, half-expecting her to fight back. He pushes down the overwhelming sense of disappointment rising up his throat when she says nothing. She just looks at him in confusion, and Colin's irritation intensifies.
Perry returns with four bottles of beer, expertly holding them in both hands. He seems oblivious of the strained atmosphere as he sits next to Sadie, placing the bottles on the table. They're already opened. Condensation runs down the surface. Colin reaches for one and immediately takes a swig.
"So, Sadie." One corner of Perry's lips lifts in half a smile. "How have you been liking the apartment so far?"
Sadie starts at the question, like she's still reeling from Colin's sudden outburst. She recovers in time to answer without raising much suspicion. "It's really comfy," she says, reaching for her bottle. "Thank you for taking me in."
"It's no problem," Perry replies just as Drew rejoins them, sitting next to Colin and automatically reaching for the unclaimed beer on the table. "Why'd you move out of your old apartment anyway?"
Drew catches Colin's eyes, panicked.
Unlike the two of them, Perry has no idea about Sadie's current situation. Drew knows about Sadie and Daniel's relationship. Since Daniel's part of the student council (not to mention his naturally amiable personality), most business majors who know him probably know about their breakup.
Perry's completely oblivious though. He waits for Sadie's answer with a nonchalant smile on his face. If Colin wasn't pissed off, he would have been cringing from the awkwardness. Now he almost welcomes the question, daring Sadie to own up to whatever shit she's going through.
"I used to share a flat with my boyfriend," she replies, her eyes pinned on the bottle in her hands. "We broke up, so I moved out."
"Whoa, there, Sade, you didn't have to break up with him to get it on with me. I wouldn't have minded sharing." Perry put up his hands in a wait-a-minute gesture.
This makes a laugh bubble past Sadie's lips. "You're disgusting. Get away from me."
"I'm sorry," he says with an apologetic smile. "I shouldn't have asked."
"It's okay." Sadie shrugs. "You took me in and all. I think it's just fair you know why I'm suddenly bunking up with you."
"Well, you're not technically bunking up with me," Perry says, eyeing Colin, "but I'd be happy to make arrangements."
Sadie scrunches her nose. "You're impossible."
She doesn't seem to mind too much though. Colin thinks Perry's actually on the right track by making light of the conversation.
"Breakups suck," Drew says with a sigh.
Sadie takes a long swig of her beer. Then, "Yeah," she says, "they really do."
"Are you okay though?" Perry looks genuinely concerned. Colin can't actually tell if the concern is real or if this is still him trying to get into Sadie's pants.
"I'm all right," she replies.
Colin can't help but scoff. Sadie looks at him and Drew kicks him under the table.
"You can talk to us." Drew speaks up. His stare is earnest, his smile sweet. "If you want to, I mean."
Sadie offers him a weary smile. "Thank you."
"Who's the prick anyway?" Perry tries his best to sound intimidating, pushing back his shirtsleeves to accentuate muscles that unfortunately weren't there. "Do you need me to teach him a lesson?"
The idea of Perry taking on Daniel is so ridiculous even Drew snorts at the thought. Daniel is, after all, part of the soccer team, which means he has pretty gotten through all sorts of physical conditioning and shit like that. Perry doesn't even go to the gym.
To be honest, Perry's kind of a big dork who just happens to have a really nice smile and probably a shitload of pheromones that females somehow find him attractive to a degree.
Even so, no amount of charm or wit would help him take on a pretty good athlete.
Even so, it coaxes a genuine smile out of Sadie. "I'd rather we keep the casualties of our breakup to a minimum, but I appreciate the offer."
Drew takes this as opportunity to ruffle Perry's hair (which took him half an hour to style). "You wouldn't stand a chance, Per, but props to you."
Perry swats him away. "Dude, what the fuck."
Colin doesn't know what to make of this conversation. It doesn't really reveal much of what went down between Sadie and Daniel. His friends are surprisingly good at diffusing the tension though. Even Sadie seems more relaxed somehow, less tense than she'd originally been when they headed out. It could be the beer, though.
"I'll get you another one," Perry says when Sadie chugs the last of her drink.
She raises an eyebrow. "Don't tell me you're just trying to get the girl drunk."
"Sadie, sweetheart"—Perry stands up with a flourish—"that has always been the plan."
◇
Two hours later, she's swaying on the stage, slurring the lyrics of A Million Reasons into the mic while an equally wasted Drew cheered her on. The crowd was loving it, more for her liquor-boosted confidence than her actual skill, which was, to Colin, pretty nonexistent. The girl couldn't sing to save the world.
They left Barrels Up when Sadie began to make a scene, promptly relocating to one of the open mic karaoke bars around the area. It was all very embarrassing. Colin wished somebody would shoot him when Sadie went up the podium, drunk off her ass, and tried to get the mic from Kurt the lead singer.
Drew and Perry had to haul her off of him.
"But I really want to sing," Sadie complained when they got back to the table. Eyes followed them on their way back. "Why won't you let me sing?"
So Colin suggested they leave and go home (and escape the commotion before anyone could recognize them), but then Drew said they should go to karaoke instead.
"God, she's so fucking cute."
Colin's expression soured. "Cute? She's crazy."
Perry shook his head. "Crazy cute," he replied, a dreamy smile appearing on his face.
Ugh. No use talking to this shithead when he's already this drunk. From where he's seated, Colin watches Drew, who's cheering for Sadie right there in front of the stage, clapping and hollering like some proud parent.
Colin lets out an aggravated sigh and stands up, heading for the stage. Sadie sings at the top of her lungs, completely off-key. The crowd claps when she finishes the song and giggles into the mic before wishing everyone a good night.
"We're going home," Colin tells Drew when he's near enough.
Drew protests, whimpering about not having his turn to sing yet (even though he already sang three songs). Colin gives him a stern look, which effectively silences him, before turning back to the stage. Sadie walks toward the stairs, unsteady, and Colin instinctively moves closer to the steps.
Sadie's eyes fall on Colin. She smiles. "Did you hear me?"
"I'm pretty sure half the city heard you."
She's too drunk to notice—or care about—the irritation in his voice. She smiles and takes another step. When she stumbles forward, Colin isn't even surprised. He moves forward to steady her, his hands landing on her waist.
She grips his shoulders. She can feel how cold her hands are through the thin cloth of his shirt. She looks confused for a moment, blinking, and it takes a moment for her gaze to refocus on him.
"Are we dancing?" she asks him.
"We're going home."
"Home? I'll get to see mom?"
Colin all but hauls her off the stage. He lets go of her when she seems steady enough
"What did mom cook for dinner?"
"Believe me, I'd love to send you back to Rivermount right now, but that's not where we're going."
It takes a lot of effort and patience to get them all in a cab. On the way home, the cab had to pull over thrice: once, to let Perry pee, then the other two times to let Drew vomit. Sadie fell asleep as soon as they'd gotten in, her head resting on the window.
By the time they reach home, Colin's downright exhausted. He slips of out the car, longing for his bed. He didn't really drink much, but he can almost feel a headache setting in. When he gets to the sidewalk, he finds Perry and Drew arguing.
"I'll carry her," Perry is saying. "You're too drunk."
Drew pushes him aside. "I'm not drunk. I barely even had a drink."
"Dude, you drank, like—is ten bottles a lot? You're the one who's drunk."
"No, you."
Colin growls. "I'll carry her. You're both drunk and stupid as fuck."
"Here comes loverboy," Perry coos mockingly. He steps closer to Colin, trying to look menacing, but he sways to the left, and Colin just rolls his eyes.
"I'm gonna hurl," Drew announces and barely misses Perry's shoes.
Colin ignores them—and the argument that inevitably follows—and instead opens the backseat door. Sadie nearly falls out, but Colin catches her.
"Wake up," he tells her, holding her by the shoulder. "We're home."
She stirs, but she only snuggles into the car seat in a more comfortable position.
"I'm sorry," Colin apologizes to the driver. His friends are too drunk to be embarrassed, but Colin feels the shame prickling at the base of his skull. He takes out his wallet and pays extra. "Here. Keep the change."
He plucks Sadie out of the car, deciding that carrying her would be faster than trying to wake her up. They'd taken too much of the driver's time already.
Perry and Drew somehow find their way inside, stumbling and heading straight to their room once they got in. Colin carries Sadie into their bedroom, not bothering to turn on the lights. She usually sleeps on the floor, but her makeshift bed hasn't been prepared, so he sets her down on his bed first.
Colin begins to prepare her bed. He spreads a thick comforter on the carpet and layers another one on top of it.
"Daniel?"
He stops, eyes flicking to Sadie's direction. He can't see too clearly in the dark and neither, he thinks, does she.
"Daniel, I'm sorry," she says. "I should've told you."
Colin stills. He doesn't say anything, and Sadie repeats the apology.
"I should've told you."
She says this through a yawn and then mumbles something else he doesn't quite catch, her voice lulling into sleep.
His curiosity begins to build up once again as he stares at Sadie's sleeping face.
Told Daniel what?