i opened the door to my california apartment, my lungs heavy like lead and by heart pumping blood faster than it should.
"where have you been? no calls, no texts, nothing." she appeared immediately.
"i went to jake's, then i went home to kansas for a little while."
"why did you run out?" her voice caught in her throat, tears threatening to fall.
"are you kidding?"
"you can't blame me for anything."
if you've ever seen a volcano erupt, it's happening in human form.
"YOU KISSED ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS." i shouted, my anger echoing off the white walls.
"I DID IT BECAUSE I WAS SCARED!"
scared?
"HOW DOES KISSING BRENNEN HELP WITH FEAR? WHAT, WERE YOU AFRAID YOU'D NEVER BE KISSED?"
"I WAS SCARED BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!"
i'm in love with you.
time felt frozen, and i realized what i truly had done.
i really fucked up, didn't i?
"i- uh, i didn't know."
"you can't just run off and not tell me where you are! i was terrified you were somewhere unsafe, you idiot!"
"i saw you kissing brennen and i... i don't know. i needed to get away from it."
"but why?" she stared back blankly, very clearly trying to forget she let the big secret slip.
my stomach was flipping and i wiped away a wave of tears i didn't notice were falling and soaking my blue t-shirt until now.
"because i'm in love with you too," i mumbled, "i thought you knew."
"well, i didn't," you could feel the anger radiating off of her like heat from a raging fire. "i can't believe you'd just run off like that. why didn't you tell me? we could have talked about it. but instead you dramatically escaped."
she has a point.
"i was overwhelmed and i didn't know how to handle myself, so i ran from the problem."
"mhm." she crossed her arms as i left the door and walked closer to her.
"i'm sorry i ran out and left you and sam behind."
"i'm sorry the mutual message got lost in communication."
"what do we do now?" i questioned, the only thing on my mind being the fact she loved me back.
"i don't know, colby. how can i really trust you after your stupid stunt?"
"i'll just have to gain your trust back."
"i guess you will."
"i'm so sorry, steph. i never meant to hurt you."
"i get it, colby." she walked away, her sobs silent and small, to her bedroom, leaving me behind to take in the leftover smell of mint and pain she left behind.
this is going to be really difficult.