I know guys, I suck! I've been utterly lazy and haven't even bothered on updating for you all! I'm sincerely sorry! Honestly! Anyways, enjoy!
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I had no clue on what to wear to my date with Alexander.
A few months ago I wouldn't even dare to go on a date, let alone go on two different dates within a few months!
I knew Alexander would probably be taking me somewhere nice, I had no doubt about that. Alexander had class, just like Christian.
After going through basically my whole entire fucking closet, I settle on a lace black dress that went halfway down my thighs.
Under that, I wore my favorite bra and underwear that I knew would probably be appropriate if this date did end up with me staying the night at Alexander's again. Though I kinda hoped it didn't. I wanted whatever relationship I was about to have with Alexander, to go a bit slower. I wanted to be swept off my feet and feel flattered. Was that a lot to ask of?
I tried feeling confident about this. There is no reason I shouldn't be excited and happy that I'm going out with someone! I should be happy! I shouldn't feel guilty, right?
Christian is marrying my mother, and I'm just doing my thing.
Although it feels like I have to keep reminding myself of it, I'm confident about my decision to be with someone that I know I can be with, someone who I don't feel wrong with.
Though I don't feel wrong with Christian, I just feel like what we're doing is wrong.
But we hadn't done much, so that's a good thing. I stopped it before it can even start.
Besides if my mother knew what happened between Christian and me when she was gone, she'd not only disown me, she'd kill me!
Even though she knows this marriage is completely fake, I knew apart of her planned to seduce Christian somehow. And that seems far fetched but I actually saw her text between her and her best friend where she basically admitted that she (and might I add that I really didn't wanna see this text) wanted to ride him like a "bull"
After I stopped myself from puking my guts out, I realized that my mother was planning on more than just having a scam wedding with this guy.
"You look so good girl. He's gonna wanna take you back to his place." Melissa winks at me through FaceTime.
I roll my eyes at her although I was blushing and smiling.
"So are you good with everything? Do you want to date this guy?" She asks. I shrug, taking a seat on my bed.
"I don't know him yet but from the looks of it- he's charming." I nod. "And how about Ben?" I frown at that. Everything with Ben felt like it wasn't gonna go anywhere. We went on one date that although was good, it felt like it was our last date.
I still felt like we were friends though. Every now and then talking at school and texting whenever we had time.
But it definitely wasn't anything more. Which I was so okay with! Just one less thing to worry about, one less thing to stress about! My life was complicated enough with just Christian, but with Alexander and Ben, no thank you.
So it felt good knowing that I had chosen- somehow as if I had a choice. I would date Alexander and maybe it'd turn into an actual relationship!
I felt confident about that.
"He's just a friend." She nods. "Good for you."
"Okay, thanks for everything Melissa, I need to get outside so that when he picks me up it'll go unnoticed." I was referring to Christian, I really didn't want him knowing that I was going out with his best friend.
I hurried outside as soon as Alexanders car pulled up in the driveway. I felt slightly embarrassed that I was already out here, but it was worth it.
I had no idea what Christian's reaction would be if he knew I was going on a date, let alone with Alexander, his best friend.
"Wow, you look great," Alexander says, getting out of the car and going towards the passenger's side to open the door for me.
"Thanks, you don't look bad yourself." I smile kindly at him before getting in the car.
I felt slightly nervous to be going on an actual date with Alexander.
It was honestly a surprise that he had even asked me out. It made me recall something that my mom use to tell me when I was a child.
"You can't give a man your cherry until he has boughten you dinner and put a ring on your finger."
I shuddered at the thought.
My mom was clearly wrong. I mean I had slept with Alexander and he was willingly taking me out afterward. Although I felt a little uneasy about this. After tonight, would Alexander and I be like actually dating? Would we have to break the news to my mother and Christian? Would I have to pretend like nothing has happened between me and Christian when it so clearly had? And I had loved every second of it. Even if what we had done was considered basically nothing, it was something nonetheless.
It had signaled that I wasn't the only one attracted. And the way I felt the other night with him, I felt vulnerable and I also felt like if he hadn't gotten that call, I would've willingly done a lot more with him.
Was I a horrible person for that? Should I really be so cool about my actions?! I mean for God's sake I'm more than just attracted to the guy that my moms about to marry! Even despite it being a sham marriage, it was a marriage nonetheless.
Not to mention that my mother would most likely disown me if she found out everything.
Maybe it was best that I started dating Alexander. It would tell Christian that we would never happen, and my mom wouldn't suspect anything.
"So, where are you taking me?" I ask Alexander, arching my eyebrows at her. I was kinda excited.
I had never been on a date with a rich guy. I wondered what he considered as a date. Would there be fancy wine? A very expensive dinner? Maybe with a view. "You'll see." He smirks before driving out of Christians driveway.
I felt slightly relieved that I was able to have Alexander pick me up unnoticed.
I would have to ask Alexander to not speak of us to Christian without sounding suspicious. Maybe I'd tell him that I wanted to keep it on a down low from my mother. Maybe he'd understand?