"The stars are shining bright tonight, don't you think?"
The young man hummed in agreement. "Yes, it's a nice spectacle."
It was a peaceful night for two people. Under the ocean of silvery stars, they were laying on a soft cotton blanket a bit too small for the both of them to fit, so a part of the boy's back is laying on the grassy plain. They were talking on hushed tones, for they just sneaked out in the middle of the night to spend quality time with each other in a field near the Han River; the boy's favorite place.
No one knew about their relationship. Their company would go berserk if they found out that two of their trainees were dating. Not even their family or close relatives know. Their parents assumed that they were just "close" because they are training under the same entertainment. Besides, the girl's parents won't allow her to date until she was past twenty, anyway; and they were both minors, so they decided to keep it private.
Comfortable silence passed between the two of them. The atmosphere was light and they both felt warm despite the freezing wind that was continuously blowing.
"Look. It's a shooting star. Make a wish! Make a wish!" she scooted closer to the young man as she pointed to the twinkling streak of light in the sky.
They both looked at the sky in wonder and silently wished for their own desires.
"So, what did you wish for?," she asked in curiosity.
The boy just gave her a cheeky grin and he earned a low "Yah!" and a smack in the forehead from from the girl.
"Ouch," he said but he was chuckling.
"Tell me!!," she demanded with a pout.
"Ah, but if I tell you, it won't come true."
She snorted, "Those are just beliefs by old people. Anything will come true if you strive for it."
"How about you tell me yours first?"He lay on his side to face her and tucked a loose strand of hair into her ear. Maybe she blushed so hard, because he noticed this in the barely lit night.
"I.. I.."
He laughed lightly.
"Aigooo..." he said and pinched her cheeks, the texture of his fingers rough on her smooth, white skin.
She wanted to stay like this forever; him by her side, and her by his. Both sharing sentiments to each other, being carefree and happy. It was all she wished for. She sighed contentedly as she cuddled into his embrace.
She already had a clue of his wish in her mind. The way he looked at her lovingly as he held her hand, she could easily read his mind. She just wanted to hear it from his mouth to confirm that she wasn't just assuming.
"You still won't tell me, huh?"
"You still won't tell me, huh?" he answered in a mocking way and earned another playful slap.
"Please?", she gave her best shot at aegyo, using her signature pout and puppy eyes. Maybe he'd give in.
"Ugh. Stop doing that." He covered her face with his palm and she whined, trying to be as adorable as she can. "Okay, fine. I'll give you a clue."
She held her breath, anticipating what he's about to say.
He removed his palm from her face and caressed her cheeks. She looked into his eyes and smiled; and he returned it.
Suddenly, he stopped caressing and sighed. It wasn't a happy one and she furrowed her brows.
"Why? What's wrong?"
"You see the stars?" He smiled again but there was a hint of sadness in his voice.
"Yes," she answered as she saw him pulling a small box from his pocket.
"You said they shine brightly."
"Yes.", that was the only word she can say as he rose and sat. He pulled her to sit up and face him.
"I want to be one of them."
"We both want to, that's our dream. That's why we train." she said, now confused with his clue.
"And I've been training for almost six years now, Hyunja." She eased up at the endearment he used but still remained confused.
"What do you mean?"
"Thank you for being my inspiration these for the past three years. When you joined the training, everything was less stressful. I...", he opened the box, revealing a silver necklace with intricate details and the word 'Promise' at the middle, "want to show my gratitude."
She gasped and hugged him. "Thank you, Myeon. It's beautiful.. I..."
"Hey, I'm supposed to be the one thanking you here." He said and chuckled. Then, he turned her around to lace the accessory around her neck. She heard him sigh again.
Silence passed. It wasn't a comfortable one like before so she hesitantly faced him and said, "I don't understand the clue."
"Thank you." He just said again.
"For what?"
Another silence.
"Myeon, something is bothering you. Tell me."
"Ah, it's not bothering me. I'm just overwhelmed."
"By what?" She was too inquisitive at the moment. But she didn't care. Something felt off about him; about the necklace; about this night after she persuaded him to tell his wish.
Was his wish not what she was expecting?
He noticed her uneasiness and touched her necklace. "This is a Promise necklace. So I want you to make a promise."
"Okay..", she said, still unsure of where his words are going to.
"Promise me that you won't lose faith in me. I'll try my best, I'll find a way... I'll---"
"Wait. I don't understand. Will we not see each other? Where are you going?"
"Just promise." He breathed out "It won't be easy for the both of us after tonight. I told you to meet me here, because I wanted to spend time with you before we... we part ways." He said, looking down.
"What?" She felt warm tears form in her eyes. " I- I don't get it, Myeon."
"Promise me. Please. Don't... don't hate me after this." He was holding her hand now.
"Thank you for being my inspiration. " He repeated his words again and pulled her into a tight embrace, his face nuzzling into her hair. "I want to send you a proper goodbye before I...."
"--- before you debut." She finished his sentence.
He sucked in a breath, "I'm sorry."
"I'm so sorry." He said with sincerity as he felt her tears falling on his shoulder and hugged her tighter.
"So that means....", she started, trying not to choke on her tears, "we're over, right?"
"I don't want this to be over." He was stopping his own tears from falling but he was not able to stop his voice from breaking.
The atmosphere was no longer light and they could feel the cold breeze of the wind.
"But this has to be," she said and slid off his arms, though her feelings were telling her to not let go just yet.
It was an unspoken rule that the trainees should not be in a relationship. Most of them do get into these so-called commitments but made sure that anyone from the company doesn't know. Otherwise, their dreams of being idols would be left to rot.
However, debuting was another story. One is always in front of the spotlight. The public's sharp eyes would be all on you, criticizing every move. It is impossible to hide things for long. Sooner or later, they'd be discovered.... and only bad things lie ahead to those who pursue to continue something prohibited.
In a crossroad, you can only choose one path. You'll follow one and you'd give up the other. In this case, they have to give up their love inorder to follow their dream.
The girl made up her mind. It was too much to bear but she figured that they'd both move on. Plus, she doesn't want her boyfriend to choose her and regret it afterwards. It would give her guilt that will last for a lifetime.
As she stood up to leave, the boy stopped her on her tracks pressed their foreheads together.
"I'm proud of you." she said trying to shove him away because she doesn't want him to see her vulnerable state. She was crying badly.
He doesn't budge, though. Instead, he clasped their hands together and said, "Don't end it like this."
"No, Myeon. Stop risking your career for me."
"Let the public be." He wasn't crying like she was, but his voice.. his voice was that of a broken man.
"Stop."
"I promise, we'll get this through together without separating. We'll try. I'll –"
"Stop it! I don't want you to get in a scandal just right after you debuted. It'd end your career. You will despise me and I will hate myself if that happens, too. We can't continue this." She doesn't want to leave him. Heck, she could only care less about him officially being an idol. But she was trying to see the bigger picture. This decision would break the both of them, but it was for the better.
"Then.." he started, "let me just make my own promise."
She nodded, realizing that she doesn't have any other choice but to let him.
"I promise continue to support you in your training from afar. I'll always be there ready to be your number one fan once you debut," he tried lift the mood up.
"Will you keep in touch, at the very least?"
"Of course. I'll make time for you, I promise."
"Really?"
"Really. I won't let you down. Trust me."
And she believed him.
But after that night, she never saw him again. She didn't receive any calls, or letters, or anything to remind her that he was still there.
She tried to understand his situation. Maybe he's preparing hard; his debut stage was nearing.
But she has always heard news about him from his other friends. How could he contact them but not her?
As time passed, his presence slowly faded.
One day, she saw him in a morning broadcast on television smiling brightly, introducing his new name to the world, and she scoffed. How could he look so happy inspite of everything? His promise to her was left unkept and while he was enjoying and preparing for the life of a star, she was crying herself to sleep every night, waiting for him to call or send a message.
He promised.
Things are different now. She thought and reached for the remote to close the television during her ex's interview. All men do is lie.
——
e p i g r a p h
' your heart was as fragile
as the mirror i held in my hands
yet in the end
the mirror was perfectly intact
and your heart was in pieces.'
——
offcam.
a surene fanfiction.