BLUE IS AN OVERRATED COLOR
❝i'll go looking for you to neverland, following tinkerbell sent by the memories❞
ᅳ
as soon as jimin slammed his door shut, he received a text message.
XX:
jungkook gave the diary to me before he chose to part ways with everyone else. he told me to give it to you one day when he does it. i was at the funeral too, but i didn't want to approach you in person so i decided to just mail it to your house. then i found out you left the exact day after the funeral. i couldn't get a hold of you as you went mia for two whole months.
with trembling hands, jimin tried his best to reply.
JIMIN:
but who are you?
XX:
i told you. it doesn't matter who i am. what matters is that i did what i had to do. i fulfilled jungkook's wish. now it's time for you to do your part.
JIMIN:
which is?
XX:
you'll find out when you read it.
JIMIN:
did you?
XX:
no, i did not read the diary. i'm only relaying what jungkook told me. that's all i know. please don't text me anymore.
jimin didn't reply and instead pondered on whether he should actually read the diary or not. he knew that it would be an invasion of privacy, but at the same time, he wanted to know why jungkook would leave him like that.
besides, jungkook wanted him to read it, didn't he?
and that's what he did.
"may 15 2017
i went out with jimin hyung today. he knocked on my window so early and refused to move the curtains away to jump in because he wanted me to do it for him. he's very silly, but that just makes me love him even more.
he jumped out of my window and i came after, falling onto his arms. we couldn't help but laugh and i heard my mom say my name and shuffling inside the first floor of the house. we ran before she could find us.
we ran through the sleeping streets. the sky was still dark and everywhere was quiet. but we ran holding hands. it was us against the world. and once again, i felt alive.
jimin hyung is the only one who ever makes me feel this way and it's scaring me.
am i not supposed to like girls?"
jimin stopped reading. there it was again. the rapid beating of his heart. he wanted to swoon and scream out in joy, knowing jungkook loved him too. but he didn't want to either. after all, his heart beating is only another reminder that he's alive and jungkook isn't.
"we found an alleyway and jimin hyung wanted to go through it with me. i was scared. i've always been terrified of the dark. i became even more scared when i let go of jimin hyung's hand. he was confused and i figured he was hurt too that i didn't trust him."
"no, jungkook," jimin said and shook his head as if jungkook could hear him. "i was terrified of scaring you. i never wanted to hurt you. but i really wanted to show you the view from up there and selfishly too, i wanted to somehow be the first one to help you face your fear. in which case you did."
"so i took his hand and we ran again and climbed through a long set of stairs. the fear i felt the entire time was nothing compared to the warmth i felt from jimin hyung's hand or the butterflies i got in my tummy when i heard him laugh in utter joy.
and the darkness was nothing compared to the sunrise we watched from the rooftop or the brightest smile i had ever seen on jimin hyung's face.
it's as if everything i've ever been through was leading to that point. all the suffering, the crying at night or the constant thoughts of ending my life. all of those were forgotten for a split second when i kissed him.
that was enough for me, but it wasn't for him. as he pulled me in for another one.
and i swear, i wanted to cry.
it's a truth i don't want to share with anyone else. it's more about the feeling than it was the place.
anywhere is neverland when i'm with jimin hyung."
ᅳ
❝there, you and i are smiling at each other, i am your eternal peter pan❞