"What? Since when?" Adeline questioned. "What happened?"
"Adeline, calm down," Bucky said, holding her shoulders. "She's alright for now, but I don't know how long she's gonna hold on. She's real sick, Adi."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Adeline accused.
"I just found out this morning and I wanted you to hear it from Steve," Bucky said. "Plus, I didn't want you to worry."
"Well, I'm worried now," Adeline said.
"I know, I know," Bucky said, running a hand through his hair.
"Can we visit her?" Adeline questioned. "We should go."
"Adeline, no, I tried," Bucky said, gripping her wrist. "They're only letting family in."
"We are family, Buck," Adeline said.
"I know, but the doctors don't see it that way," Bucky responded, his calm blue eyes boring into her chocolate ones. "The best thing we can do right now is support Steve." Adeline huffed, nodding numbly.
"What happens if she doesn't make it?" Adeline whispered. Bucky pulled Adeline in for a hug, rubbing her back.
"We just have to be there for Steve no matter what happens, alright?" Bucky said. Adeline nodded her head against Bucky's chest. His scent enveloped her, making her feel at home and safe.
|Thursday, October 15, 1936|
Steve came home to find Adeline and Bucky asleep on his couch, their bodies pressed up against one another. He didn't want to wake them up with the bad news. He was right there when her hand fell from his, her heart finally stopping, giving in. He would've sat there all night if it meant his mother was still alive.
"Steve," Bucky greeted in a soft morning voice.
"Hey, Buck," Steve greeted, hanging up his coat.
"How is she?" Bucky asked, carefully moving Adeline so she wouldn't wake up. Steve didn't want to tell him. In Bucky's world, Sarah was still alive.
"She's gone," Steve's voice broke, his eyes welling up with warm tears.
"Steve, I'm so sorry," Bucky said, wrapping his arms around his small friend who hadn't yet cried for his late mother.
"We can stay if you'd like," Bucky said.
"You don't have to, I can get by," Steve said, wiping tears from his eyes.
"We're your friends, of course we have to," Bucky said. "Go get some sleep. It's been a long day." Steve didn't have the energy to argue. He simply sauntered to his room, crashing on the lumpy bed. His clothes still smelled like the hospital room, sending another wave of grief over him.
Bucky walked back to the couch, bending down next to Adeline as he rubbed her shoulder gently, slowly waking her up. Her eyes fluttered open to meet Bucky's blue eyes.
"Buck? What time is it?" Adeline asked, sitting up slowly.
"Three," Bucky said. "Steve just got back. Sarah's gone." Adeline gasped, tears filling her eyes, pulling Bucky in for a tight hug. He rubbed her back in comforting circles as she cried quietly into his shoulder.
|Sunday, October 18, 1936|
It was the day of the funeral and Adeline wore a black dress while Bucky and Steve wore their best suits. Adeline sat between Bucky and Steve, holding onto their hands, swallowing the rising lump in her throat. She stared at the ground as the pastor went on with his eulogy. She soon canceled out the pastor's voice and Adeline sat in a saddened silence. Bucky began rubbing circles against the back of Adeline's hand as quiet tears rolled down her rosy cheeks.
It was a cloudy day as they took Sarah's casket out of the small church. Adeline stayed in the chapel, staring at the empty spot where Sarah's casket once was.
"They both deserved better," Adeline mumbled, sniffling a bit, resting her head on Bucky's shoulder.
"Yeah," Bucky responded. "All we can do now is be there for Steve." Adeline nodded her head numbly against Bucky's shoulder.
"Yeah, that's all we can do," Adeline said. "I hate."
"Me too, doll, but that's the best we can do," Bucky responded "Come on, we should find Steve." Adeline looked up, only to find that Steve was nowhere in sight.
"He probably went to the cemetery," Adeline said in a knowing voice.
"Alright, come on," Bucky said.
They were soon waiting for Steve at the bottom of his apartment stairs, trying to talk about anything other than the funeral. Steve came into view, walking with his hands in his pockets and his head down.
"We looked for you after," Bucky said in a solemn voice when Steve came into hearing range. "My folks wanted to give you a ride to the cemetery."
"I know, I'm sorry," Steve said as they walked up the stairs that were just about falling apart. "It's just..." Steve trailed off, patting his pockets for his apartment key.
"We can put the couch cushions on the floor like when we were kids. It'll be fun. All you gotta do is shine my shoes, maybe take out the trash," Bucky said as Adeline kicked over the stray brick on the ground, picking up Steve's spare key.
"Come on, Steve," Adeline said, handing Steve the key.
"Thank you, guys, but I can get by on my own," Steve responded, glancing between his two friends.
"Thing is, you don't have to," Bucky responded, patting Steve on the shoulder. "We're with you 'till the end of the line, pal." This caused Steve to crack a small smile, though not reaching his eyes, it made Adeline and Bucky feel slightly better. Steve closed the door behind him, leaving Adeline and Bucky alone.
"How 'bout a drink?" Bucky asked as they walked down the stairs.
"That sounds amazing," Adeline responded.
~*~
"You know, I don't even care anymore," Adeline said drunkenly. "He's just being an idiot."
"I think you've had enough, Adeline," Bucky said, trying to take Adeline's half empty glass. However, before he could take it away, Adeline slapped his hand away.
"You're funny," Adeline said, taking another long drink. "I like you."
"That's a relief," Bucky mumbled, taking a sip of his drink.
"What, you don't like me?" Adeline asked.
"Not right now," Bucky said quietly, earning a punch on the shoulder.
"I have a boyfriend, stop flirting with me," Adeline scolded.
"I'm well aware," Bucky responded. Adeline slammed her glass down on the bar, causing Bucky to jump in his seat.
"Another one, bartender," she called, waving her hand up in the air.
"Where's she putting all this stuff?" The bartender asked, taking yet another empty glass, filling her with another. Bucky simply shrugged, knowing he'd be the one to carry her home.
"Dance with me, James," Adeline slurred, standing on unsteady feet, attempting to pull Bucky off his seat.
"It's Bucky," he mumbled.
"Whatever, come on," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his back, pulling him.
"I thought you had a boyfriend," Bucky said, causing her to stop pulling.
"Oh, right," she said. However, she got a mischievous glint in her eyes. "What he doesn't know, won't kill him," she whispered into his ear. This caused Bucky's eyes to widen, not believing the words that were coming out of Adeline's mouth.
"Come on, Adeline. Let's get you home before you do something you'll regret," he said, turning and hooking his arm around her waist, guiding her out of the bar.
"I have a boyfriend, James. He wouldn't like you holdin' me like this," Adeline said. Bucky rolled his eyes, walking out into the crisp October air. Bucky took off his jacket, draping it over Adeline's shoulders.
"Such a gentleman," Adeline slurred.
"Yeah, I get that a lot," Bucky said, deciding to keep the conversation going.
"Wow," Adeline said, looking up at him. "You're really pretty. Are you my boyfriend?"
"No, Adeline, I'm not," Bucky said with a small smile.
"Well, you should be, you're handsome," she said. "And nice. Will you go on a date with me?"
"No, Adeline, I'm not your boyfriend," Bucky said, steering her around the sober couples.
"That's a stupid excuse," Adeline pouted.
"Not really."
"Uh-oh," Adeline said, stopping.
"What?" Bucky asked as Adeline doubled over, throwing up in the alley to her left. Bucky sighed, rubbing her back, blocking her from the pedestrians. "Alright, you're alright."
~*~
The next morning, Adeline woke up with a sharp pain in her head and an aching body. She groaned, rolling over to feel a warm body next to her. She gasped, her eyes flying open to see Bucky. He was in her bed. Shirtless. She sat up quickly, causing her head to spin.
"James?" She questioned loud enough for him to jolt awake. "What the hell are you doing in my bed?" She looked around the room, seeing clothes scattered around the room. Bucky sat up, groaning. "Jesus Christ, put some clothes on! We didn't... oh my God!" Adeline quickly got out of bed, stepping away from him.
"No! No, Adeline," Bucky said, getting up and pulling on his pants. "You were drunk and I got you home."
"That doesn't explain why you're in my bed!" Adeline hissed, trying to tame her hair in the mirror. "Or how I got into my night clothes? James!"
"Your dress was full of vomit! I wasn't going to leave you in that!" Bucky said, buttoning up his shirt. "And you asked me to stay!"
"And did you really think that I meant that?" Adeline asked.
"Ouch, Adeline," Bucky said.
"You know what I mean," Adeline groaned.
"You were crying! I didn't want to say no! There was no right answer in that situation," Bucky said. "I was just looking out for you." Adeline took a deep breath, rubbing her temples.
"Okay, okay, but you're sure we didn't do anything?" Adeline questioned.
"Adeline, I wouldn't do that, you know me," Bucky said, slightly hurt.
"I need something for this headache," Adeline mumbled, searching through her night stand. "Oh my God!"
"What?" Bucky asked, turning to look at her from fixing his hair.
"I need to go! I'm supposed to meet Thomas at the café!" Adeline said, rushing to get ready. "Okay, how do I look?" Her hair was sticking up at every possible angle and her eyes were red with dark circles around them. Bucky opened his mouth then closed it.
"Do you want an honest answer?" He asked with a sheepish smile. Adeline groaned, going to the bathroom to try to freshen up.
Adeline arrived at the coffee shop five minutes late.
"I'm so sorry, Thomas," Adeline breathed, sitting down a cross from him. "I just had a busy day yesterday and I overslept and -"
"Adeline, it's fine," Thomas said with a smile. "I heard about your friend's mom. I'm sorry." Adeline smiled gratefully.
"Thank you," Adeline said, placing her hand on top of his.
"I also heard about you and Bucky," he mumbled after. Adeline sighed, closing her eyes.
"Nothing is going on between James and I," Adeline assured.
"Then why did he get comfortable in your apartment last night?" Thomas asked. This was the last thing Adeline wanted to talk about, but here it was. She knew it would come up sooner rather than later. Her unusually close relationship with both men was always a concern for her boyfriends.
"I was ... drunk," Adeline admitted hesitantly.
"You don't drink, Adeline."
"Things have been a bit stressful if you haven't noticed," Adeline snapped, causing Thomas to sit back in shock. "Sorry. I'm just ... A lot of things have been going on. I figured a drink or two couldn't hurt. That turned into three then four and Bucky brought me home."
"It's fine, I shouldn't have brought it up," Thomas said apologetically.
|Wednesday, June 2, 1937|
"Thomas has been acting weird, Steve," Adeline said, sitting on Steve's floor while he drew on his bed.
"Ask him about it," Steve responded distractedly.
"He asked me out tonight," Adeline said.
"And that's weird, why?" Steve asked.
"I don't know," Adeline admitted. "He's never very crafty when it comes to dates, but he sounded off."
"Maybe he's changed," Steve said.
"Yeah, that's what scares me," Adeline admitted. "Thomas is good at being plain old Thomas."
"Well, go ask him about it," Steve suggested again.
"Why are you so good at relationships?" Adeline said, turning around, resting her chin on the edge of his mattress.
"Because I'm not in one," Steve said. "Gives me an 'outsider's' point of view." Steve chuckled as Adeline threw a pillow at him.
"Thanks, Rogers," Adeline said as she walked out of his room with an eased conscious. Thomas picked her up that night. He was silent the entire car ride, causing Adeline to feel uneasy. Suddenly, she wasn't as sure as she was before.
"Thomas, are you okay?" Adeline asked finally.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Thomas said, scratching the back of his neck, keeping his eyes on the road.
"Are you sure? You've been acting ... not like yourself," Adeline said honestly.
"I said I'm fine, Adeline. Don't worry about it," Thomas said, giving her a half smile. Adeline sighed, sitting back in her seat, knowing that pushing the matter wouldn't do her or Thomas any good.
They arrived at a fancy restaurant and he held open the door for her. The waiter led them to a table at the center of the bustling restaurant. Nothing looked extraordinarily special and Adeline looked at Thomas expectantly.
"Adeline," Thomas began, "I- I just wanted you to know that I love you, so much."
"I love you too," Adeline said hesitantly. This sounded like a break up.
"Which is why I'm doing this," Thomas said. "You have made this past year of my life something special and I wouldn't have made it this far without you."
"Thomas, what are you saying?" Adeline asked, waiting for the line. However, he got down on one knee, pulling out a velvet box and Adeline was frozen.
"Adeline Marie Adams," he began. No, she knew she couldn't marry Thomas. She always knew she couldn't - wouldn't marry him. "Will you be my wife?" She wasn't in love with him. She quickly tried to imagine herself in a white gown, walking down the aisle to find Thomas at the end. She tried to imagine a house, kids and a life with Thomas. But every time, it wasn't him.
"No," she whispered.
"What?" He asked, still holding out the ring to her.
"I'm so sorry," Adeline said, walking out as fast as she could, her hand covering her mouth, pushing down the painful lump in her chest. She heard him calling her name, but she didn't stop.
Adeline let her feet carry her to Goldie's Boxing Center where Bucky worked. The hours listed it as closed, but Adeline knew Bucky would be there. She opened the door to hear a single boxer. Her clicking heels caused the repetitive hits to stop. Bucky came into view. He was sweaty, the only article of clothing were his shorts. His dark hair was stuck to his forehead and his chest glistened with sweat.
"Adeline? What are you doing here?" Bucky asked.
"Give me something to hit," Adeline demanded.
"Adeline, you can't be here, this is a men's boxing center," he said.
"James, give me something to punch or I swear it will be you," Adeline said, losing her patience. Bucky opened then closed his mouth, eventually leading Adeline to the back corner where there was a punching bag hanging from the ceiling.
"Let me get some wraps," he said, turning to grab some wraps from his bag. However, Adeline couldn't wait that long. She punched the bag as hard as she could, finding it relieved some of her anger. She hit it again, and again, and again. She hit it until her hands were bleeding.
"Adi!" Bucky called as she came down from her high. "What has gotten into you?" He grabbed her wrists revealing her cut and bruised knuckles.
"Thomas," Adeline breathed.
"What did he do?" Bucky asked in a dark tone.
"He - he had ..." Adeline couldn't finish as a lump began rising in her throat with oncoming tears.
"Adeline, what did he do?" Bucky asked in an urgent tone.
"He had a ring," Adeline said, barely above a whisper. "He asked me to marry him."
"Oh my God," Bucky said, hanging his head. "I thought he hurt you."
"I said no," Adeline whispered, as tears began streaking down her cheeks.
"You what?" Bucky asked.
"I don't love him, James," Adeline cried. "I couldn't - I couldn't say yes. There's something wrong with me. I tried to love him, Bucky. I really did. But I couldn't - I can't."
"No, nothing's wrong with you, Adeline," Bucky assured. "It's alright." He pulled her in for a hug, her head resting on his bare chest.
"I should've told him before," Adeline cried. "I should've said something. I should've known. I just really liked him, I thought he could be the one. I thought I could just make myself love him."
"Hey, it's alright," Bucky said, rubbing her back.
"I'm such an idiot," Adeline cried.
"You're not an idiot," Bucky assured her.
"You're just saying that to be nice," Adeline mumbled against his chest.
"No, I'm not," Bucky said. "You're smart and amazing and beautiful and the best friend I could've ever asked for." She sniffled, pulling back to look into his blue eyes.
"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me," she said, feeling comforted in his arms and by his words. She pulled away, wiping away her tears that stained her rosy cheeks.
"We are not leaving here until you smile," Bucky said sternly.
"Bucky, I'm exhausted," Adeline said, her voice still thick with tears. "I just want to go home."
"Nope," Bucky said. "You've got to smile. Come on." His hands traveled to Adeline's hips, up to her sides, causing her to laugh.
"No, Bucky!" She was laughing so hard, she fell to the floor, Bucky on top of her. "Stop!" She could hardly breathe as she was laughing so hard. Bucky stopped, his hands resting on either side of her head. His eyes were sparkling with laughter and he had a too big smile for his face, but it was contagious.
"I hate you," Adeline said, a smile still on her face.
"I hate you."
~*~
The rest of the summer was spent at Coney Island or at the dance halls. Adeline soon got over Thomas and she hoped that he got over her too. She found that he had switched schools from NYU to Georgia. She constantly thought of the ring. He deserved someone better than Adeline. He deserved someone who could truly love him. As the days went by, Adeline became more and more convinced that she wouldn't be able to love anyone. She was already 20 years old without a husband let alone a love interest. It was May 21st, 1938, her 21st birthday and she was spending the beautiful spring day in the park alone.
"I hear someone's 21 today," Bucky's voice came from behind and Adeline turned around, a smile painting itself across her face.
"Well, you heard wrong," Adeline teased as Bucky sat next to her on the bench.
"What's a pretty dame like you doing all alone on a day like this?" Bucky asked.
"A fella done me wrong," Adeline decided to play along.
"Oh, yeah?"
"It's not his fault though," Adeline continued. "He's a looker, I don't blame him for going out. He's got the most beautiful eyes and an awful sense of humor."
"You think I don't have a sense of humor?" Bucky asked, looking over at her with a smile.
"Oh, no, you have one, it's just bad," Adeline responded with a smile.
"Thanks, Adams," he said, his smile soon faded, gathering a serious persona. "Have you heard the news in Europe?"
"Germany?" Adeline questioned.
"Yeah," Bucky responded. "My parents are nervous."
"So are mine," Adeline said. "I'm nervous. If no one can keep Germany in check, there's going to be another war."
"Then let's hope that that doesn't happen," Bucky said, a smile returning to his face. "Before I forget. I have a surprise for you." He pulled out two tickets, flashing them to Adeline.
"Carnegie Hall?" Adeline questioned excitedly. "No way."
"Yup," Bucky confirmed with a smile. "Benny Goodman himself is going to be there. These were the last two tickets."
"Oh my God!" Adeline exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Bucky's shoulders. "You're the best!"
"Does this make up for my lack of humor?" Bucky asked jokingly.
"Most definitely," Adeline responded with a smile. "But, what about Steve?"
"He's got something planned for you," Bucky said with a smile.
"You know, don't you," Adeline said.
"Of course I know," Bucky said. "He's really excited about it."
"Well, are you going to tell me?" She asked, pulling on Bucky's hand.
"My lips are sealed," Bucky said with a chuckle. "But, he did help pay for these tickets. So, that's part of it."
"You're impossible," Adeline said, rolling her eyes.
"But you love me," Bucky said with a cocky smirk.
"Stuff it, Barnes," Adeline said with a chuckle.