If you're sick of Ella being an idiot then you've come to the right place, no need to thank me. Though I make no apologies for the cliffhanger.
Unsurprisingly, I wake up with a hangover.
The gig was so good last night and we were pretty close to the front of the stage. However, I had a few more drinks and though it probably made me enjoy myself even more last night, I'm not enjoying the banging in my head this morning.
The flat is quiet when I wake because I'm alone. The boys have a gig today, the same one that Brad's family are apparently attending, and they presumably left before I woke up.
When I go into the kitchen, I notice a piece of paper left on the counter and a few twenty-pound notes stacked on top of it. I pick the paper up and recognise my brother's handwriting scrawled across it.
We're having a gathering tonight after the gig, do me a favour and buy some alcohol with the money I've left and get whatever else you want with what's leftover :)
I count the notes and raise my eyebrows. There is no need to spend that much on alcohol.
As I'm sat at the kitchen island. wallowing in self-pity and waiting for the Ibuprofen to kick in, I decide that I need to stop drinking so much when I go out. Or maybe just in general.
In fact, I need to stop being so... Ella. And I need to stop being so selfish.
It's time to change. It's time to grow the fuck up. It's time for Ella Evans to stop moping around like a little bitch and immaturely avoiding her boyfriend.
It's also time for her to stop talking in the third person.
I'm going to apologise to Brad for being a stubborn cow and for being selfish. And Brad and I are going to tell Tris about us. And he's going to have to deal with it in whatever way he sees fit.
I start by heading into town and buying a few things that I need from the supermarket. Alcohol. Plastic cups for the alcohol. Three packets of gummy bears. A bag of oranges. Oh, and ingredients to bake a cake.
I find a shop that develops photographs and the kind lady behind the counter helps me print out a photo from my phone. It's a selfie of Brad and I that he took on our first date to the skate park, with my arms looped around his neck and his lips pressed to my cheek. She helps me pick out a nice frame and places the picture inside for me.
I also walk past a tattoo and piercing shop and spontaneously decide that I'm going to get a nose piercing. Well, not really 'spontaneously' as such; I'd been deliberating about getting one for a while but what better day to do it than the first day of the New Ella. The man at the front desk is really helpful and within a few minutes, I have a silver stud in my right nostril. It's throbbing wildly and the skin surrounding it is flaming red but it's so worth it because it looks sick.
When I get back to our apartment block, I make a stop at the pigeonhole in the lobby to check the mail. There are three items in there, the first I assume is a bill because it's addressed to Tris and the second is a flyer for a nearby Indian takeaway. When I look at the last one and see the University of the Arts London logo in the bottom corner of the envelope, my stomach drops. I don't have to check to know it's quite obviously addressed to me.
When I get inside the flat, I physically place the unopened letter on the coffee table and figuratively push it to the back of my mind. I don't want to think about the contents of that letter. Tonight, I'll enjoy the party and read it tomorrow when I'm already feeling shitty due to the inevitable hangover. If I've got it in, it'll make me feel better and if I haven't, I can't feel any worse.
Firstly, I throw all the gummy bears into a bowl and drown them in a ton of Vodka, hoping that they will soak up enough alcohol in the next few hours to become Vodka gummy bears. Then I make Vodka jellies by cutting the oranges in half, scooping out the orange flesh and pouring the jelly and a measure of vodka into the halves. I leave those in the fridge to set whilst I get to work on baking the cake for Brad. He seems to really like my mum's red velvet cake so I'd bought all the ingredients I would need to recreate it at the supermarket. Whilst it is baking, I make a buttercream which I use to fill the inside and smooth over the top. Then I pipe the words I'm sorry for being a selfish bitch across the top in red icing. I place it on a plate and then leave it on the desk in Brad's room, alongside the photo I'd had framed earlier, ready for him to find when he gets home.
It's late when the boys get back, but they're clearly still up for partying because it sounds like they're not the only people who have entered the flat. I'm sat on the bed with all of my makeup and brushes scattered across the duvet in front of me. I would go and say hello to everyone and tell them about the alcoholic treats available but I'm halfway through blending out my eyeshadow so they can find the drinks themselves.
Shortly after the commotion of the arrival has died down a little, there's a knock on my door.
"Come in" I call, not taking my eyes off the mirror in front of me. I'm very carefully finishing the wing of my liquid eyeliner off and when I look up I see Brad is in my doorway with a smile on his face. It causes a smile on my face.
"Hey" he says softly, stepping into my room and closing the door behind him. He's holding a plate in his hand, "I brought you some cake"
"Does it taste alright?" I ask him as he walks over to my bed. He smiles and nods as he places the plate down on my beside table.
"Tastes amazing, really"
He kneels down next to my bed and slips his hands around the backs of my knees, pulling my legs over the edge of the bed and by either side of his waist. My arms rest around his shoulders and I can't help but smile. We haven't even addressed the fact that we're clearly on good terms again but I already feel a huge sense of relief.
"Did you get that today?" He asks with a smile.
"Get what?"
He clarifies by pointing to my nose with his index finger. I'd temporarily forgotten about the piercing in my nostril - the throbbing had dulled a little but it was definitely still present. His finger gets a little to close for my liking so I bat his hand away playfully.
"Don't touch it" I mumble, "it's still killing me"
"I like it though" he grins.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, it really suits you" he assures me, "I love it"
I bring my hands up to cup Brad's face and lean forward to press my lips to his softly. He kisses me back and I can't help but feel all warm and tingly. It's been days since we've kissed, touched even, and I didn't realise that I'd missed it this much.
The romance is soon lost though when Brad, mid-kiss, tilts his head to the other side and his nose bumps the right side of my nose.
"Ow" I groan as I pull away.
"Shit, sorry" he says quickly, before he chuckles quietly to himself, "I'm sorry"
He leans up to press another sweet kiss to my lips before pulling away, his eyes flitting over my face. I'm so glad that there's no awkwardness between us anymore.
"You know, no one's ever baked an apology cake for me before" he tells me.
"Has anyone ever been this much of a selfish bitch to you before?"
"You're not selfish"
"But I'm a bitch?" I laugh.
"You can be a bitch" he smiles, "when you want to be, but you're not selfish, I was just being a dick"
"I was being selfish"
"You're not a selfish person" he counters, "and I was a right arsehole with you the other day"
"I'm an arsehole with you everyday"
"Well... yeah" he replies, making us both laugh, "but we're used to that, I was... annoyed and making assumptions and saying things I didn't mean"
"It's cool" I shrug nonchalantly, "you had a moment but ultimately, I'm still the dickhead in the relationship"
"Oh, of course, you're much better at it than I am"
"I'm glad we agree" I nod and smile at him. He hums and slips his arms around my waist, nuzzling his face into my neck. I let my hand drift into his hair and run my fingers gently through the soft curls.
"Can we tell him tomorrow?" I mumble, before Brad lifts his head up to look up at me, "because now there's people here and I don't want to cause a big scene"
"We'll tell him tomorrow" he nods in agreement, "together, and he'll have to just deal with it"
I smile and nod, and he leans forward to kiss me. The first kiss is soft and sweet but it quickly leads into another, and another, and then another, each one growing in intensity. I think the few days of avoiding each other are starting to catch up with us. Suddenly, he gets up, pushes me back down on the bed and then lays his body over me.
"Do you think we can fit in a quickie now?" He asks, using one arm to hook my leg around his hip whilst pressing sloppy kisses along my collarbone.
"No" I reply flatly.
He lifts his head up and pouts at me sadly, "please"
"No" I repeat, "there are people here"
"It's been days, babe" he groans, over-dramatically emphasising the word 'days', "the best part of having a fight is the make-up sex"
"Maybe later"
"When?" He whines like a stroppy child.
"When the party's over," I tell him, rolling my eyes, "now get off, I need to finish my makeup"
He groans in frustration but climbs off me anyway.
"You don't need makeup" he grumbles as he sits up.
"Yeah, well, I don't need to be in a relationship with you, do I?" I retort.
"Fair point, go ahead and do your makeup" he sighs, "but please don't put that, erm... that stuff on" he gestures to his face, "that stuff that covers your face..."
"Foundation?"
"Yeah, please don't put that on, it covers up your freckles"
"That's the point, Brad" I reply flatly.
"No, please, I love your freckles"
"I wasn't going to wear foundation anyway," I tell him, "but only because it'll hurt to put foundation on my nose. But if it didn't, then I'd be plastering it on layer-by-layer just to piss you off"
"Of course you would" He titters, as he stands up and makes his way to the door, "but you look beautiful either way and I get to appreciate the view so who's the real winner?" He pretends to think for a moment as he opens up the door, "Oh, I guess I am"
"Bye" I call flatly as he steps out and flashes me a cheeky grin before shutting the door behind him. I just smile to myself and shake my head before turning back to the mirror.
The noise in the flat grows louder as I advance towards the kitchen. There are a few people milling around who I vaguely recognise as being friends or colleagues of the boys and I say a quick hello to Sophie who is on her way to the bathroom. When I reach the kitchen, the four Vamps boys and the three New Hew Club boys are all hanging out in there, chatting and laughing amongst themselves as my brother pours Vodka into shot glasses.
"Ella!" Reece grins at me as I walk in, making the others turn to me.
"For you" Connor smiles, handing me a shot glass filled with a clear liquid that I assume is Vodka.
"Has everyone got one?" Tris asks, before everyone hums in reply. Then we all throw back our shots, which is followed by a murmur of hisses and noises of disgust.
"I guess the party starts now" Connor retorts.
"Wait, have you guys seen the snacks I made?" I ask, noticing that I couldn't see them out on the table.
"You made snacks?" my brother sounds surprised.
"Yeah, I'm shit at most other things but I'm a good hostess" I joke as I walk over to the fridge, "okay, I've got vodka gummy bears" I explain as I retrieve the bowl from the fridge, "and vodka jellies"
As I place the sweet treats on the counter, I'm swarmed by the boys all trying to grab them. They're like bloody wild animals.
"Oh my god, guys, stop fighting over me" I groan, earning a few chuckles.
"In your dreams, Evans" Connor teases, poking my side playfully.
The alcoholic gummy bears and the jellies don't last very long, especially when people nearby notice them and dive in too, so we quickly move on to consuming more of the harder stuff.
Over the course of the night, the music gradually gets louder and the people gradually get more intoxicated. I'm tipsy but I'm not over the edge just yet, though the same can't be said for Blake who has been roped into playing some type of drinking game with some guys that I think are friends with Connor and he clearly isn't very skilled at it. I count him consume six shots within a few minutes and shake my head; if he throws up, I am not being the one to clean it.
"El" I hear my brother's voice as I'm pouring myself another drink, "can you go and sort the music out, please? I'm bored of this"
Normally, I would complain about Tris trying to tell me what to do but when it comes to being in control of the music, I am not going to argue. Good music is my forte.
I follow the volume of the music into the living room where Tris's Macbook is hooked up to the speaker system. Someone has put some Spotify dance party playlist but we've had enough dance and with me in control, it's time for something else. I look through the Alternative and Indie music playlists that Spotify has and start to play one with relatively well-known songs on it. Then my tipsy brain has an even better idea. My tipsy brain thinks that my iPod has far better music than what Spotify is suggesting to me. Normally, I'd probably feel a little bad about forcing people to listen to my favourite songs only but, well, the alcohol kicked in long ago.
I leave the living room and meander through the people to get to my room. As I walk past the bathroom, however, I notice a strange sound coming from inside. I stop and listen for a moment and though the music's fairly loud, I can make out the noise of what sounds like someone retching.
It's barely 2am and someone is vomiting already. Amateur...
The bathroom door is open slightly, beaming light into the hallway so I open it further and peek inside. I instantly recognise Blake with his head over the toilet and groaning. Am I surprised? Not really...
"You alright, Blake?" I ask softly as I step inside and crouch down beside him, rubbing his back soothingly. He groans again in response but at least he isn't retching anymore. The stench of the sick is vile so I flush it away quickly whilst Blake moves back and slumps against the wall.
"Too many vodka gummy bears?" I suggest with a small smile.
"Vodka in general" he grumbles, tilting his head back and resting it on the wall, closing his eyes.
"Maybe we should get you lied down" I propose, thinking that if he passes out here, it's going to be a job to move him somewhere else. I stand up and try to help him up but it's like lifting dead weight.
"Come on, Blake" I sigh, "you've gotta work with me"
He mumbles something unintelligible in response and I sigh in defeat. There's no way I'm moving him on my own. I stand up and leave the bathroom, looking around for someone I recognise to help me out. I spot George a little further down the corridor and call out his name. He gives me a smile as he makes his way over to me.
"Can you give me a hand with Blake?" I ask him as I step back into the bathroom, "I don't want him to pass out here"
He follows me in and sighs at the sight of Blake.
"Come on, mate" he says and with George's help, we manage to get him on his feet and with an arm over each of our shoulders.
"We can put him in Tris's room" I suggest. He's definitely not going in my room, not if he's going to be sick again.
We lay him down on Tris's bed and turn him on his side. George goes to get him a glass of water and in the meantime, I pull the duvet over him.
"You're lovely, Ella" he murmurs, curling his arms around Tris's pillow.
"So I get told all the time" I mutter jokingly to myself.
"Shame you're taken" he mumbles, closing his eyes and nuzzling his face into the blanket.
"Mm" I hum in response and George soon returns with the glass of water. He places it on the chest of drawers and I move Tris's bin closer to the side of the bed in case he needs to throw up again.
"Tris won't mind, will he?" George asks as we leave the room and shut the door quietly behind us.
"No, I'm sure he'll be fine with it" I assure him, "besides, he doesn't really have a choice, does he?"
George laughs, "not unless he wants to carry Blake home himself"
Walking into the living room, I see that my music changes have gone down well. At this point, I've forgotten about retrieving my iPod but it clearly doesn't matter now because Sophie, Brad, Connor and a handful of others have created a dance floor in the middle of the room and are all jamming out to Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis. Before I can question it, a hand curls around mine and pulls me into the crowd of people.
"Where've you been? You're missing the good music" Brad grins at me.
"Blake was throwing up" I tell him, making him pull his face. He slips an arm around my waist and pulls me close to him. I slide my arms around his neck and smile at the content expression on his face. Even though there's a chance that Tris could walk into the room, I think the both of us are too drunk to care. Plus, we know that we're going to tell him tomorrow anyway so caution is less of a concern now.
He leans down and I feel his lips brush against my ear.
"Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight?" He says and I feel my face flush so I hide it in his neck. He chuckles softly in my ear.
The music changes to Want You Back by Haim and I guess the verses are a little too slow because people start dispersing. Brad turns me around in his arms, holding my back flush against his front as we move to the slower music. I can't help but giggle at him as he nuzzles his face into the side of my neck. He's so bloody cute sometimes.
"You know you can get a room, you both live here" I hear Sophie comment but I just laugh, Brad's arms loosen from around me and I glance around. Most people had left the room by now so we probably looked sad just dancing on our own.
"Don't worry, she's already said I can nail her later" Brad grins casually, making me scoff and bat his shoulder playfully but I can't help but laugh.
"I said maybe'" I argue.
"You said 'Brad, I need you so bad, I'm begging you, please, please take me-'"
"That's really not how I remember it" I snort.
"Are you sure, babe?" He says in a playful tone, "I think you're getting confused"
"I think you're remembering one of your dreams"
"Actually, yes, I am" he nods, before lowering his head to my ear and quietly adding, "later, I'll tell you what else you did in that dream"
"Doesn't mean I'll do it in real life" I shoot back, making him pout.
"Ella?" I hear Connor say so I turn my attention to him instead. He's not looking at me but down at an envelope in his hands, "you know this is for you?"
He hands over the envelope and I see it's the letter from UAL.
"You going to open it?"
"No, I'm gonna open it tomorrow," I tell him.
"El, just get it over with and open it" Brad shrugs.
"No, I'll do it tomorrow" I shrug, "then if I haven't got in, I can't feel any worse because I'll already feel shit from the hangover"
"If you open it now and you haven't got in, you can just get drunk and forget about it" Connor suggests.
"And if you have got in, you can get drunk to celebrate" Brad adds. Always the optimist.
"I love that idea" Sophie grins, "I'll go get some shots"
She disappears out of the room before I can even argue, though maybe shots aren't a bad idea right now.
"I drink enough anyway, you really shouldn't be encouraging me to drink more" I mutter to them.
"Oh, give it here" Brad groans, taking the envelope from my hands before I can stop him, "I'll do it"
"No!" I argue, trying to snatch it back but he holds it out of my reach.
"You'll only have anxiety about it all night if you leave it," he tells me. He's got a point. I'd put it out of my mind until Connor saw it and brought it up but now it'll be all I can think about. Oh, and also the looming knowledge that we have to tell my brother about our secret relationship tomorrow.
"Hey, Tris?" I hear Connor call and look over to see that my brother is entering the room with James and another guy in tow, "come here"
"Y'alright?" Tris smiles at us and makes his way over with James. I roll my eyes. They're going to make me open this letter in front of all four of them, and if I haven't got in, it's going to be way more embarrassing.
"Ella's UAL letter came" Brad tells him as he holds it up.
"Wait, what?" He frowns a little, "You didn't say?"
"I'm gonna open it tomorrow" I shrug.
"Aw, no, do it now" Tris whines, "I wanna know if you've got in"
"I'm not opening it in front of you lot"
"So I'll open it then," Brad says casually, before stuffing his finger under the lip of the envelope. He manages to tear it open halfway across before I can snatch it back out of his hands and throw him a dirty look.
"El, it's half open now, you might as well..." Tris shrugs whilst the other three throw me hopeful looks.
"God, fine" I groan, pulling my face but opening up the rest of the envelope anyway. I tug out the piece of paper and shove the used envelope at the nearest person. Before I can think too much about it, I unfold the paper and my eyes scan over the print.
Dear Miss Ella Evans.
Congratulations! Your application has been assessed and you have been awarded a place at University of the Arts London to study BA Honours Art and Design. We hope that you are as excited to study at our university as we are to have you! Your course will begin in September-
"So..."
"It says I got in" I say absentmindedly. I'm still a little shocked and I'm trying to find the error or the part where it says that they're joking.
"Oh my god, El!" Tris exclaims before his arms wrap tightly around me and he spins me around in the air, "you got in!" He gushes as he places my feet back safely on the ground, "Oh my god, I'm so proud"
My mouth can't help but turn into a big smile.
"I'm not a failure," I say before I furrow my brows slightly and revise that statement. "I'm not a complete failure"
The boys chuckle whilst I feel Connor pull me into a hug too.
"Aw, well done" Connor says and James squeezes my shoulder.
"Yeah, congrats, Ella"
"Thanks" I mumble as I pull away and my eyes fall on Bradley. A wide smile is stretched across his face and I feel this rush of pure happiness just wash over me. Is my life finally coming together for the first time ever? Because it damn well feels like it right now, with the acceptance letter from my university of choice in my hands and the boy who means the world to me stood in front of me. Is this even reality? Because things like this never usually happen to me.
"Congratulations" Brad grins as his arm envelop me, crushing me against his body.
"Thank you" I murmur, my arms sliding around his neck and as he squeezes me tightly. I don't think I have ever felt happier than I do right now at this moment. Before I can even consider what I am doing, I lift my head and press my lips against Brad's. He seems a little surprised by my action and I realise a split-second too late that kissing him was a bad decision. The three boys who were animatedly chatting and congratulating me just moments earlier have now gone quiet. Silent, even.
I pull away from Brad quickly but it's quite obviously too late. He's staring at me in shock and then his eyes start flitting between myself and, I assume, my brother who is stood behind me. Me, I'm too scared to look at Tris; I don't want to know what expression is contorting his face right now. My arms quickly drop from Brad's shoulders and my hand clasps over my mouth.
Why the fuck did I just do that? Why the fuck did I just kiss Brad in front of Tris?
Why, Ella, WHY?
"Shit."