Innocence lost

for the life of me i can't escape
this memory
a memory of playing (alone?)
so little & looking up at him (so big)
before he led me into that room to lie down
before he touched me & i lay ruined
or to say things
opening my mouth was bad
(little girl)
we had a secret
back in her nightgown
a child lover
before he reaches into my soul
and began to turn me inside out with his dirty claws
those painful little hooks that (almost) ripped out the best of me
a little child ....alone....playing