Passing the 'Welcome to Llandudno' sign, waves of yellow light wash over us as we drive through the streetlamps guiding us along the otherwise dark roads.
Driving when it's dark has always been when of my favourite things. It's especially good in the summer when the air is still a little warm from the lingering heat of the sun and you can open the windows and feel the wind roaring through your hair as your favourite music plays and you feel nothing short of invincible. Alas, being cramped into the backseat of my auntie's mini with a cousin who might possibly hit me if I dared to open a window and allow the billowing wind to mess up a single strand of hair on her head, it's fair to say tonight's road trip is not one of the better ones I've had.
I don't mind too much though, it's just nice to not have to get the train. Means I can relax a little more and have some company during the journey.
Not too long after arriving in town, we reach my house and after popping inside for a few minutes to drop off our things and greet my family, Kate and I disappear into the night again to finally quell our hunger.
''Shit man, this place hasn't changed at all," Kate says looking around nostalgically at our surroundings as we walk side by side along the seafront.
''Oh yeah, it's definitely consistent. You remember when your lot visited years ago and we all went down the beach? Us two carved our names into that bench?''
''Oh shit yeah! I do remember that! Was one of the first times I came here.''
''It's still there, y'know. The bench and our names. I check every so often when I'm down that way.''
''You're kidding! Haha that's class. Hey, we should go back there and update it while I'm here.''
''Oh my God, yes!''
Stepping inside the brightly lit fish and chips shop, the familiar greasy smell instantly whacks my nostrils and elevates my hunger. We order a sausage and cone of chips each and, after paying, take them out into the open air to sit on the wall overlooking the beach. For miles all across the town, lights pepper the darkness like little torches amongst the black, meanwhile, on the promenade, streetlamps and solar lights keep the area well-lit as well the artificial lights various shops and eateries that still currently remain open provide.
''So, about tomorrow.. what's the plan?" Kate inquires before stuffing a trio of salty chips into her mouth.
''I don't know, really. All I know is we're all meeting at Spoons at 7, then we'll just see what happens from there. I've got to warn you, Llandudno still only has like 2 decent places so don't get your hopes up.''
''Oh, I know. I remember from last time I was here but it was still a great night. I remember that mad mate you've got - Ellie - she was fucking crazy, she was climbing up the DJ booth and all sorts. Made my night that," Kate recalls, causing me to picture in my mind the state we all got into that night, particularly Ellie.
''Yeah. I don't think Ellie's going to be coming this time around, though.''
The sadness in my voice is evident.
''How come?" Kate asks with a frown.
''She's.. I don't know.. she's just been a bit weird recently. She and the gang aren't really speaking at the moment.''
''Really? Why's that?''
I probably should have filled Kate in about all this before bringing her amongst it but, in fairness, I had other shit on my mind. Instead, I explain now how Ellie's been getting increasingly more distant from us and basically cutting us out of her life for reasons unknown to us. With not having seen much of Nao or Alana since all this has been going on, I haven't had the opportunity to discuss things with them like we all definitely should do. Talking with Kate will have to suffice until I can steal my best friends from their busy lives and sort it out properly. Besides, I've been thinking it over loads myself and it's starting to mess with my head. I know how brilliant Kate is with listening to my problems so it can't hurt to talk about it with her, especially if she's going to be around the gang for a bit, she needs to know the score.
''What, even Alana? I thought they were like.. dead close, did everything to together and shit.''
''Yeah they were, we all were but, I don't know, I guess because we've all had a lot going on these last few months with sorting out our futures and trying to get into the universities we want, we've just not had time to spend with each other. I've been thinking, maybe Ellie felt left out because she's not planning on leaving Llandudno and all of us are. You know what she gets like.''
''What, so she's like protecting herself by distancing herself from the gang so when you all leave town it won't be as much of a big deal for her when she's the only one left behind?''
''Yeah! Yes, exactly!" I knew Kate would understand, "like maybe this is her way of preparing for that. Like you said, she's gonna be the only one left here after the summer and it's probably gonna be hard for her so maybe she's like decided to beat us to it and break out of it all now. It'll give her chance to get used to it before it actually happens. That way she's the one in control, which definitely makes sense when it comes to Ellie.''
''Mmm, maybe. What do your other mates think?''
''That's the thing, we haven't really spoken about it. Nao and I got to talking about Ellie the other day but we didn't get very far. She's pretty pissed off over it and I didn't wanna cause a big 'thing' so I just changed the subject. I haven't seen much of Ally because of her exams so I have no idea what she's thinking about it all.''
''Right, yeah. Yous should talk about it though, as a group. All organise a time and place and get together - with Ellie as well – and see what's going on, get all the issues resolved. But if you ask me, she seems proper bitter. Like, she's resenting the fact yous are all trying to move on and better yourselves and you're leaving her behind. It's dumb because as your mate she should be happy for you, not being a little brat because she has no drive to make something of herself and yous do.''
There's the classic no-bullshit-no-sugarcoated opinion that I adore about my cousin. Still, as much as I appreciate Kate sticking up for us, I feel we sudden assume anything until we've heard it from the horse's mouth. After all, there could be a whole other explanation for Ellie's actions.
I sigh deeply and swallow down my mouthful of food before speaking again.
''I just really want to speak to her face to face about it all in case I've got it all wrong but she's impossible to reach. She doesn't answer anyone's calls and whenever I've phoned her house or gone 'round her Mum says she's not home. It's got to the point where the only way I'll get to talk to her is if I conveniently bump into her somewhere.''
''That's fucked, man. Not that it surprises me with Ellie; that girl's a loose cannon. I just hope yous can get things sorted before yous all leave town," she says and I hum in response.
''So other than that, everything's good?''
''Yeah, I think so. Like I said, the gang haven't really hung out and talked in a while so I don't really know about the other girls' lives but I'm good, Van's good so..''
''Oh yeah, Van! God, I can't believe I'm finally going to meet him tomorrow. Like, I'm actually so excited.''
I laugh at her genuinely cheery expression and excitable tone. It's evident she's happy for me that I'm finally with a lad I can - and am willing to - show off.
''Good, I'm glad you're excited. He's really class, you know, I reckon you're gonna love him.''
''I hope so, anything's gotta be a step up from the last one you had.''
''Trust me, Van is more than a step up," I say whilst bunching up the scraps of my food in the fish and chip paper and standing from the wall to discard it into a nearby bin.
Kate instinctively follows my actions and we again slowly start walking along the seafront although in the opposite direction of my house.
''So how about you? You seeing anyone at the moment?''
''Nope," Kate reveals popping the 'P', "this guy asked me out at work a while ago but he was like 30 and was wearing sandals so..''
''So when's the date?" I jest, sarcastically.
''Shut the fuck up, Chez. I'm not that desperate," she says after successfully taking the bate.
''Yet," I finish, bursting into explosive giggles when Kate shoves me and soon begins to laugh herself.
After around 10 minutes of walking and chatting, we approach the far end of the seafront, where it begins to close off and form jagged rock pools and pebbles rather than silky sand and sea. This is an indication we are close to the target of our mission.
''Eeyare look! There it is!" I call, pointing over to the deserted bench that's seen better days.
Kate and I head over and scan it quickly to find our signature markings.
'Cherry and Kate 2k3' is proudly emblazoned in the dirty wood of the seat.
''Oh. My. God. I can't believe it's still here after 8 years.''
''Honestly, how this bench hasn't rotted away or been removed by the council I will never know. No one even uses it, people just vandalise it.''
''You up for vandalising it again?" Kate asks with a smirk on her lips and a sparkle in her eyes.
''Abso-fuckin-lutely.''
We spring up and search for a jagged enough rock that we can use to carve our names with and once one has been successfully located, we take it back to the bench and get to work.
Scraping the surface in purposeful strokes, it doesn't take long until our masterpiece is finished. As soon as we're done we step back and look down at our handy work. There, next to our now 8-year-old scribing, reads 'still Cherry and Kate 2k11'.
''Beautiful," Kate states with mischief lacing her words.
We both begin to giggle at our own ridiculousness before slumping down on the bench - minding not to cover our work - and having a moment of rest before we have to walk all the way back home.
It's at this precise moment while watching the moon in the sky and listening to the choppy waves in the distance, I remember the packet of cigarettes Van gave me that I've since secreted in the inside pocket of my jacket. During alone times out and about in Liverpool, I smoked one or two but it has been difficult enjoy it as I've been constantly dodging people I know so they won't catch me out. Plus, smoking simply isn't as fun when Van isn't around. Realising now is the perfect opportunity to get a smoke in before I go home, I pull out the box and lighter and spark it up. It takes Kate a moment to figure out what I'm doing but she soon clocks onto what's happening, evident by her sudden lack of placidity.
''What? Hold on, when the fuck did you start smoking?''
''Ages ago," I reply nonchalantly, blowing out my first cloud of smoke.
''You never told me! You always tell me everything. Why didn't you ever say?" she shifts in her seat so she's facing me dead on.
''Don't be offended, I don't make a habit of telling people. The only people that know are my mates, Van, and Mel. And that's only because she worked it out," I explain, softening the small betrayal she probably feels at my lack of keeping her in the loop.
''Cherry, your Dad would kill you if he knew," Kate says with a knowing look and wisdom in her voice.
''Yeah, exactly," I say with a chuckle to lighten the humourless fact of the matter, "that's why the fewer people who know, the better.''
Once I've finished up my cigarette and tossed it out of sight, we start the long walk homeward.