True to his word, Kai stayed out of the woods. He busied himself with the construction of new platforms. "For the babe," he claimed. He worked like a man possessed, stopping only for food and sleep. Questions needed to be repeated almost three times over before his concentration broke to answer them. He kept a close physical proximity, but Liesel wasn't sure he was much more present than when he'd been off in the forest. By the time the leaves turned amber and gold, the pair's little house grew to expand out in every direction. Liesel's rail thin body had started to round with signs of carrying a little life within her.
She climbed down the ladder carefully, clutching a cup of water and the plate containing Kai's midday meal. He put down his saw and stopped to wipe the sweat from his brow before taking it. "Aren't you eating?" he asked.
"I did already. Got hungry when I was preparing yours." She glanced at the grid of sticks he'd bound with lengths of rope fashioned from stringy dried leaves. "What are you working on?"
Kai's face contorted in mock injury. "Aw, you can't tell? I'm hurt."
"With you? Could be anything."
"That's true." He took a big bite of the dried rabbit meat leftover from their dinner the night before. Chewing heartily, he held up the structure and mumbled, "It's a cradle. For the babe."
Lately, he'd cited everything as being "for the babe," but the reveal of this particular piece caused tears to well in Liesel's eyes. "It'll do fine," she assured him and turned away, embarrassed by her sudden rush of emotion. Her eye caught something amongst the trees that seemed out of place. A slash of white. A gleam of ruddy red. Months ago, when she first thought she'd seen something in the forest, she shoved aside her assumptions and convinced herself that it was an animal or at best, a trick of her mind. On second sight, she found it far too human-shaped to be either. She narrowed her eyes and took a step toward the trees to confirm her suspicion. "I was right," fell from her lips as a whisper. As though the being could hear her, it swiftly turned and fled.
Liesel plunged into the forest. Kai's voice calling her name rung in her ears, but she didn't stop. This stalker was the only other human they'd seen in Arcadia. A girl, she deemed, by the white dress and long red hair. How many times had she watched them? And why had she not approached to make herself known? These questions circled in her mind as she chased the stranger. "Come back," she called out, but the girl disregarded the request, weaving an erratic path around trees and down steep slopes. Liesel's feet pounded over the undulating terrain, stumbling over tree roots and loose earth. Branches stung her skin, but she could not slow for fear that never discover the girl's intentions. Liesel watched her scramble up an incline and disappear over the top of the ridge. She clawed her way up in pursuit, but when she reached the top, she found herself completely alone.
The land extended out flat from the ridge. She could see far into the distance ahead, and the path she'd taken below, but there was no sign of the girl anywhere. No sign of Kai either. He'd remained in her wake for the entire pursuit, his boots crunching leaves and sticks underfoot as he called out to her to wait. But now the forest had gone still. No footsteps, no heaving breaths, no crack of branches. Only the low whistle of faraway birdsong.
Odd. Kai would have never abandoned her. Perhaps he got distracted by some marvelous find or had lost track of her and returned to the treehouse to await her return. Even worse was that she seemed to have gotten herself hopelessly lost. She wished she had paid more attention on all of the excursions into the forest instead of following blindly where Kai led. She cursed before beginning the difficult business of discerning where she was. Eventually, she ambled upon the stream and followed it back into familiar territory, stubborn hope quickening her pace. Dark was shrouding the landscape in hazy violets by the time the treehouse was in sight. "Kai?" she called out, but no answer came.
A chill shot through her veins. "Kai?" she ventured again. "Kai!" She sped toward the tree and scaled the ladder as fast as her feet could manage. Her eyes desperately scanned the tree boughs, but found nothing of him. She ran from platform to platform, searching. Still no Kai. "Don't panic," she said, dropping down on the bed with her arms wound tightly around her midsection. "He's bound to come back. He always comes back. Just wait here for him."
When the first rays of sunlight pierced the endless night, Kai had still not returned. Liesel packed a bag with provisions, laced up her boots, wrapped her cloak tight around her, and went after him, shouting his name into the trees. She went as far as she could go until hunger pangs and her throbbing feet forced her to turn back. She cried only a moment. There was work to be done. With her stomach full and her feet bandaged, she fell asleep to her mind's chorus of, "He'll come back."
The next morning, she rose and set off in a different direction, determined to scour every inch of the forest. Once again, her search yielded nothing. She trudged back home and went to bed without dinner. The worry gnawing at her gut made sleep impossible. Something terrible had happened to him, she was sure of it. That's why he couldn't come back. Because nothing could stop Kai from coming back to her. He loved her. He'd sworn it. Tears swelled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks and shaking her voice as ran to the edge of the platform and shouted into the sky. "Kai! Where are you? Answer me! Please answer me!" The only response was the flap of birds' wings as a nearby flock rose into the air.
Doggedly she continued her searches, pushing farther into the terrain. Standing in the tall golden grasses of a meadow, she glimpsed mountains in the distance. They were beyond a day's trek, but then everything she'd not yet explored fell into that category. Pushing farther would have been a mistake with the quickly approaching darkness. She'd need time and supplies to prepare to camp overnight in the forest. On her way back, she spotted a patch of the delicate white flowers that had once bloomed red at Kai's touch. She made sure to crush them under her boot as she walked past.
She'd made it almost to the clearing when a cramp twinged in her gut. Overexertion, she thought as she rubbed the spot. A little rest, she was sure, was all that she needed. Between her legs felt wet. She passed a hand beneath her skirts, expecting to find sweat, but gasped in shock when her fingers were covered in thick, red blood. The memory came back violently. She'd seen this before. In a dream. The one she couldn't remember in whole. The pain was the same, as was the intense red.
A frightening realization took hold. Wracked with fear, she stumbled up the ladder and into her bed. The pain grew, coming in waves and spreading until everything below her waist was afire. "It's too soon, too soon," she murmured, coiling her body into a clenched ball. She thought if she could just relax, the hurt would ease. Yet, it refused to relent. She stuffed all the cloth she could find between her legs to staunch the blood, but it flowed out freely.
In her village, it was no rare thing to lose a baby. Her own mum had lost five and lived to tell of it. But the pain was greater than Liesel had imagined. Perhaps too great. Was she dying? And if she did die - it would be no great tragedy. Kai was gone. The baby was lost. If she lived, she'd be alone in Arcadia, save for the stranger who possessed no desire to make friends.
After a day, the bleeding slowed and the pain reduced to a dull ache. Fever came in its place. She drifted in and out of consciousness, calling Kai's name in her most desperate times. In lucid moments, she remembered how her mother had nursed her back to health as a child. She had none of the herbal remedies or teas, but she did have water. It had healed her scrapes and cuts. Perhaps drinking it could cure her insides.
The nightmares came frequently, but only as fragments. At her worst moments, she prayed to die, asking God to let her go with her baby to the safety of the heavens. Her prayers were never answered, and her suffering continued. For how long, she could not tell. There was no difference between days. Only the sickness that gripped her and the dreams.
When the fever at last broke, she felt empty and alone, too weak to set out into the forest after Kai. Perhaps he was gone forever. No, she wouldn't give into that thought. He was out there. As soon as she felt better, she'd look for him and she'd find him, no matter how long it took.
One hazy and cold morning, she woke without pain. The sky foretold of rain, but she paid it no mind, so relieved was she that the pain was gone. Her limbs, at first, were weak, but after a few stretches and laps around the floor, they felt much like they used to. Slowly, but resolutely, she stripped the sheet from her bed, wrapping the tiny, bloody discharge from her womb inside of it. She'd bury it later, beneath the grandest tree she could find. She dressed in clean clothes and went down the ladder. Goldfruit grew not far from the treehouse and would make a decent breakfast.
She rejoiced when she saw that the cold had not prevented the bush from bearing fruit and devoured two upon sight. Eating drastically improved her spirits. With her arms full of the fruit bounty, she made her way back. As she approached, she spotted a corner of Kai's last project peeking out from behind the tree trunk. All the breath went out of her. Her arms fell slack at her side, and the goldfruit tumbled to the ground.
The intense grief she felt at the sight of the cradle soon spawned a sister emotion: rage. She rushed toward it, grasping the half-finished bed for a baby that never truly lived. Lifting it above her head, she slammed it down with all of the force she could muster. It made a satisfying crack as several spindles flew off. She continued smashing it against the ground until all no trace that it was a cradle remained. She slumped down amongst the splintered wood and sobbed. So much had been taken from her. It didn't seem fair. It was punishment, she decided. For defying her father and running away. She'd been too willful. She vowed to be better behaved. "I'll go back to Cornwall," she whispered to the heavens. "Just, please, give him back. Give me Kai and we'll go back and atone for our sins."
But once again, God did not hear her. Or if he did, he did not answer.
When the tears dried, all that was left was a fierce determination to find Kai, no matter what it might take.
~***~
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