Chapter 5
A few weeks have passed since my first shift. A few weeks since we celebrated my change. A few weeks since I met Jonathan.
While those weeks crawled along, I was up at the crack of dawn training with Jonathan. He taught me how to shoot, how to kill, how to track, how to hide and what not. We built up my muscle and stamina to help me for when I'm out in the field.
But during those few weeks, I made a new friend. A very specific friend. My wolf. I discovered that I was able to talk to my wolf and she is very kind and gentle like me. She understands how I feel and due to her being a wolf, she gives me advice during my training.
However, during those weeks, I felt lost. I felt alone. I felt incomplete. My wolf felt the same way, and we had no idea what it could be. Of course, I did not mention any of this information to the hunters. I did not want them to think I was having doubts about my position to be one of them.
"Hey princess," Jonathan smiled as he saw me exiting the house. "Want to go for breakfast?"
I nodded my head as my stomach growled in agreement. We both laughed. As he opened the car door for me, I slid into the passenger seat. He raced around the car and climbed into the driver's seat and we took off.
"So," Jonathan began. "I've been thinking about us."
"Us?" I echo, confused.
"Yeah. Well, I know I'm your trainer and everything so I've gotten to know you pretty well. Now that you're finally able to go out into the field, I've come to a realization." He says.
My heart pounds in my chest at his words. Where is this even going? When he did not continue, I spoke up. "You realized...?"
"I realized that I have fallen for you." He says hurriedly. My heart stops and I stare blankly at him. I will admit that I do feel attracted to him, but I just simply do not have any feelings for him of that sort.
"Jonathan... I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way." I told him honestly.
"I figured you'd say that. I guessed that you didn't reciprocate my feelings because you never respond to the way I touch you, the way I treat you differently to others."
"I thought it was because I'm a girl and everyone else is just a middle-aged man?"
"Yes, but even in public. I never look at any other girl when the most beautiful girl in the world is sitting with me. I don't want to talk to any other girl because I only want to talk to you." He says.
I suddenly feel awkward and guilty sitting in the car with him. All this time, Jonathan has had feelings for me and I did not even know. I did not see the way he looked at me, the way he talked to me, the way he touched me. But now when I think back about it, I can not help but scold myself for being so blind to his feelings.
"I want you, Amy." He says, his gaze frozen on me. I feel the blood drain from my face.
But we don't want you. My wolf sneered.
"Jonathan, I can't," I told him sincerely. "I can't be with you when I don't have those kinds of feelings towards you. It just doesn't feel right. I don't want to ruin this friendship that we have, we work well together and being in a relationship together could ruin that."
"But what if it doesn't?"
"What if it does? If we get into a relationship and break up for some reason, then things are going to be very awkward and complicated for not just us, but for the rest of the hunters."
"I understand. Anyways, I just wanted you to know how I feel." He says sadly. I berate myself for hurting him, but I know it is for the best.
The rest of the journey was just silence. Awkward, tense silence. Even when we reached my favorite cafe, silence consumed the both of us. We ate in silence and went back in silence.
Silence.
It was torturous. I knew that he was heartbroken and hurt over my rejecting him but I had nothing to say to help make him feel better about the situation.
When we reached my home, I hurriedly jumped out the car and raced the house. I was trying to unlock the door when Jonathan suddenly appeared before me and leaned against the door. Panic rose within me.
"So, do you want to do anything tomorrow night?" He asked warily.
"Tomorrow is the full moon," I tell him.
"How about tonight?" He asks.
"My dad and I are reviewing this thing together."
"How about the day after tomorrow?"
"Recovering from the full moon," I informed flatly.
Sighing, he combed his hand through his golden blonde hair. His brown eyes were losing hope within them and I did not know what to say to help him out, yet again. When nothing was said any further, I unlocked the door and went inside and closed it behind me; letting him know the conversation is over and I do not wish to continue it.
I trudged my way through the living room to the kitchen. Walking to the back door, I pulled out a cigarette from the box on the counter and joined my father on the patio. Lighting it up, I felt the cautious gaze of my father on me.
Leaning my arms on spread legs, I raised an eyebrow at him as I exhaled the smoke from my lungs.
"What's up?" He asked.
Taking another drag of my cigarette, I hung my head. "Jonathan said he's fallen for me." I said, exhaling the smoke.
"Ah. Your response?" He asked as he looked down at his book with that 'I know all' look on his face. Leaning back against the wall, I looked up at the sky and took another drag.
"I tried to let him down easy."
"He's heartbroken and tried to ask you out on a date but you're too busy to date anyone. Am I right?" He asks, smirking at me.
"As per usual, papa," I tell him with a sigh.
He patted my head as I flicked the ash off my cigarette. I hate smoking, but whenever I get stressed out I always have just the one to feel it take the weight off my shoulders.
Flicking the butt into the garden, I stuffed my hands into my pockets as I made my way inside. It was quite chilly outside today and my purple camisole with black leggings was not doing me any favors.
Stomping my way upstairs, I threw myself onto my bed and screamed angrily into the pillows.
Why are guys so damn frustrating? They admit how they feel and they give you this crap about how they understand when you say you do not feel the same way, and yet they still try to go out with you. It is as though they do not understand what 'I don't understand' looks like until it is written down on a piece of paper and thrown in their faces.
But worse than that, why do they do this at the worst possible time ever? I was so excited to go eat at my favorite cafe but ruins it by admitting he has feelings for me! My whole morning has been absolutely ruined.
I lifted my head, an idea occurs to me. I raced to my closet and quickly changed into my work out clothes. Jogging downstairs, I see my father sitting at his computer, a thoughtful expression on his face.
I bounded up to him and kissed his cheek. "Going for a run and to punch some trees. Be back soon pappa." I tell him.
"Not so fast. Come here, I need you to see this." He says. I jog back over and look at the screen. It's the recording of me when I shifted.
I watched as the girl on the screen sits and taps away in irritation. Watching this, made me relive the moment over again. But then the shifting happens and I felt amazing in the shifting process.
I was finally able to see my wolf. Pure white fur, like snow. Eyes the color of the clearest skies. It was beautiful. But what I found even more captivating, was that my wolf just sat there and looked around curiously. She sniffed a few things and began jumping around playfully.
I was shocked.
"Your wolf's not violent." He said to me with pride. "To me, that looks like you're in control but the playfulness of the wolf suggests that you had no idea what was going on. The expression on your face confirms my suspicions. You behaved perfectly. I think you'll be able to shift in the woods if this you losing control."
I gape at him in shock. "Shift? In the woods? Alone? On a full moon?" I ask him, flabbergasted. He nodded his head in response. I slapped his back, laughing. "Oh dad, you're funny. I'll see you in a bit, I'm gonna go blow off some steam."
"Be back for dinner." He says and I mumble a bye before I race out the house and into the woods.
The crunching of the leaves beneath feet, and the wind slapping me in the face feels exhilarating as whizzed through the trees. I came to a halting stop and grabbed onto a tree for support as I collect my breaths. This is the furthest I have ever ran, and it feels amazing.
I slumped to the floor and laughed darkly to myself. "Shift in the woods he says. Yeah right, dad. I'll end up dead or lost knowing my luck." I laugh to myself. "It's one thing after another today, isn't it?"
"I don't know, is it?" A deep voice says. I quickly stand up and turn to find the owner of the voice.
A guy, looks to me a few years older than me steps out from behind the tree I was leaning against. His aura screamed power. He adorned a pair of black sweats and a grey muscle shirt with black sneakers.
His dark, chocolate hair was cut short as flowed elegantly in the wind. His bright emerald eyes glittered as they looked me up and down, analyzing me. His jawline was strong and sharp that I even the movement of him gritting his teeth-
He is gritting teeth. Why is he gritting his teeth?
"What." He hissed. "Are. You. Doing. On. My. Land?"
"Your land? Last I checked buddy, the woods didn't belong to anybody and every time I have been in here, I have never seen you." I argued.
"Get out of my territory." He growled.
"What if I refuse-" I began. But the wind picked up and carried his scent towards me. My eyes widened in realization as I jumped on him.
"WOLF!" I barked as I pinned him down. His eyes widened in shock as he tried to wriggle out from underneath me.
"GET OFF YOU ROGUE!" He ordered. I tilted my head as I looked at him, confused.
"Rogue?" I asked, tasting the word on my tongue. "What's a rogue?"
"You! You're a rogue! Now get off me!"
"I still don't understand."
"Will you get off already?"
"Will you tell me what a rogue is if I get off?" I asked him. He looked at me as though I had grown two heads. I just shrugged in response.
"You really have no idea?" He asks me. I look at him sheepishly.
"A rogue is a wolf who doesn't belong to a pack." He said. For some reason, my heart fluttered at the mention of a pack but then felt more broken.
I scrambled off him and began walking away from him.
"Wait! Where are you going?" He asks suddenly, grabbing my wrist and spinning me around.
"Home. You told me to go away." I said as sadness filled my heart. I got so excited about finding another wolf that I lost all control. I have been trained to hunt werewolves down, but when I met him, I got so happy and I felt a little less alone.
"Come with me." He says, outstretching his hand. Uncertainty plagued my mind, but my heart told me to go with him. I slid my hand into his and he began tugging me after him and we broke out into a run.
I am so sorry I didn't upload this chapter last week. I was too exhausted and ended up forgetting. So today, I have decided to give you a double feature. Again, really sorry. It was an accident. I'm still getting used to this whole schedule thing.
Anyways, thank you guys for supporting this story so far, I know it only just started but I'm really happy to see the positive feedback so please keep it coming!
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Thanks ;)