By the end of the week, I had mapped out the whole ventilation system. I needed to get out of this damned place. I stopped sleeping and choked down on food before going back into the vents. The nagging at my brain only increased, making me grimace and bite my lip every once in a while.
I really was going crazy.
I sat on my bed a few days later, sketching on my map.
I had kept my mouth shut about anything. I know it wasn't who I was to keep my mouth shut, but I figured it wasn't time yet. Nobody would believe me if all the proof I had was "use them."
I was going good, before Jasper recovered, telling us all that we should volunteer to do what he did.
Everyone said no. Nobody wanted to puke for days. Miller was definitely strongly opinionated about the matter.
"What are you doing?" Monty asked, scooting towards Jasper on the bed I sat next to him on.
"What?" Jasper said.
I stood up, Monty following. "When did you start swinging for their team?" I hissed. When he didn't answer, except licking his lips in annoyance, I shook my head. "Whatever. We're not doing any volunteer work, so ready to go after Clarke?"
When Maya came over, Monty sighed, mumbling, "Right on time."
"Hey, guys," she smiled. "Jasper, I'm so glad to see you're feeling better."
When she held up a paper to her chest, my heartbeat raced in shock, fear, confusion, etc.
ACT NORMAL, THEY'RE LISTENING!!!
I gaped at the sign, immediately looking up to Jasper for help.
"Thanks, I am," Jasper answered weakly.
She flipped to a different page.
THE BREACH WASN'T AN ACCIDENT. FOLLOW ME!
"You look, uh, rested," Jasper laughed.
I face palmed.
She laughed nervously and said, "Its pizza day. Who's hungry?"
I laughed my usual, loud, fake laugh. "I sure am!"
Maya merely turned around and led us down many hallways, where I hadn't seen before. We eventually got into a room, Jasper and Monty following behind me as I followed Maya into it.
When Monty closed the door behind him, Maya said, "We don't have much time, but we can talk freely here."
"What the hells going on?" Jasper asked shakily.
Maya looked down, tears pricking her eyes. "Maya?" Jasper mumbled.
"Im sorry," she breathed, barely speaking from her crying body.
"About what? What do you mean, it wasn't an accident?" Jasper said softly.
"They're using us," I blurted. "I've been using the vents. I heard." When Monty looked at me to explain, I did. "They exposed you to use Jasper, right? To test it?" I asked Maya.
She nodded, a tear falling guiltily from her eye.
"Did you know about this?" Jasper asked.
"No."
"Why would they do that to you?"
"Because the standard treatment sucks compared to you."
"That's what Dante said."
"What's the standard treatment?" Monty voiced my thoughts.
"Through there," Maya said, gesturing towards the small space behind her.
I led the way, the first one to make it to the large vent that showed another space. I leaned closer to it, squinting to see what she was talking about.
As I peered into the room, I saw a huge, circular opening, cages hanging all over the walls. Moaning and groaning was faint from our distance, but I could easily tell they were humans inside of the cages.
I quickly stepped away, feeling like I was going to get sick. "Grounders," was all I could say to Monty and Jasper, who were still looking through the slits in the wall. I turned to Maya. "What is this?"
I felt so sick, so horrified of this place suddenly.
"Standard treatment," she shakily said.
Suddenly, the feeling nagging at me had burst. Everywhere, it was just horror, anger, insanity.
I need to get the fuck out of here.
"Why are you showing us this?" Monty asked, standing up from the wall and turning towards us.
"Because I'm afraid," she said, her lips quivering violently.
"Of what?" I asked.
"That you're next."
"Oh, shit," I drew out, placing a hand on the wall next to me to steady myself.
I should've risked my arm to get out with Clarke.
"Who else knows about this?" Jasper asked.
"Everyone," Maya said. "Nobody talks about it. We learn not to ask questions." She stepped towards Jasper. "Look, without the treatments, we'd die. What else are we supposed to do?"
"Die?" I suggested, an eyebrow raising in a gesture that said, 'duh.'
"I'm getting the hell out of here. Dante said we could leave, so—"
"He was lying," Jasper scoffed. "He knew I'd be too scared to leave. Just like he knew I'd do what had to be done to save Maya."
"Clarke got out through medical, I'm sure we can, too," I said, crossing my arms.
"You won't make it," Maya said. "Ever since Clarke disappeared, security all around has been increased."
I played with my sling. I had barely noticed it was even on, anymore. "I can take down a couple of guards," I shrugged.
"We're not leaving the others behind," Jasper said.
"What other choice do we have?" Monty asked.
"We volunteer," Jasper swallowed.
—
I spent days throwing up.
I had told the others I wouldn't fake volunteer so that I could search the vents, but Miller had convinced me that, who was I kidding? I was just scared.
It was terrible.
I laid in Miller's lap with my eyes half open as they spoke around me.
They all had to play Rock Paper Scissors to decide who I would lay on, since I was so weak I couldn't sit up straight. Miller lost.
I felt like I was hit by a train. When Murphy got us all sick? That was almost better compared to how I felt now.
At least then, I had him.
I couldn't let thoughts about him invade my thoughts. If I did, even the slightest bit, I knew I would go on a rampage.
Like Clarke said, she couldn't have me falling apart.
So, I learned to shove him out of my head. It was torturous.
Hanging out with Miller kept me sane. He was kind of a bitch, so it kept my mind away from the shaky fear I had grown for this place and replaced it with annoyance at him.
I could barely hear their talking as I sweat my ass off, but I had eventually reached my hand up and slapped Miller across the face.
"What the hell do you want?" He asked me.
I smiled. "We make good friends, Miller." I then put my hand down. "I think you guys are missing one very important fact. You know why we're down here, right? It's 'cause we broke the law, excluding me. We literally survived Earth alone because we worked together. Don't you guys think we can get out of here, too?"
"I feel like she's, like, ten times smarter when she's half dead," Miller chuckled.
I smiled.
—
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uhhh currently posting this to distract myself from the election hope y'all are feeling safe and aren't as anxious as i am <33