"No," I tilt my chin in defiance. He looks over at me, clearly shocked that I haven't turned away crying yet. I know I'm sensitive, but this doesn't necessarily make me want to cry and run away. I want to cry and yell at him for treating me like shit.
"What?" He asks, narrowing his eyes at me.
"I'm not getting out of your fricken car," I repeat, the emotion building behind my voice. I'm torn between screaming at him for treating me so bad to crying. Maybe I can do both. "I am so tired of this."
He runs a hand through his hair once again, frustration and stress making an appearance. He's screwing this all up and he knows it. I can tell that he knows this, but he doesn't make a move to say anything so I go on.
"Of all the secrets and the lies and how you always treat me like shit," I bite out, shaking my head. "You say you want me, you say that I make you feel like no one ever has and yet you do this. Why? Why hurt me? Don't you agree I've already been through enough?"
"You knew before we even started doing this that I was fucked up," is what he says when he finally comes out of silent mode. He stares at me with a mixture of sadness and anger, which makes the situation all the more real. "So don't try to act like you're surprised by it now."
Unbelievable.
"That's your excuse?" I'm I'm disbelief. I can't believe how shallow he is being at the moment because I've never really seen it like this - so far in depth.
"Don't try to act like you're so perfect, Nina," he spits.
I scoff. "I am not perfect."
"Really?" He laughs bitterly. "Your consistent need to control everything and know everything?"
"I do not try to control everything," I defend myself. Yeah I am a little OCD, but I don't try to control everything. Only when it concerns me personally do I try to make sure everything is in order and done.
"Always becoming defensive when someone states something negative about you," he points out and my face heats up. "Constantly needing to be ahead of everyone else."
My chest is heaving up and down at a fast rate, my face is hot and a tear trickles down to accompany one. I wipe it away furiously because that's what I am; furious.
"You're a dick," I spit, gathering enough courage to do so, glaring at him the best I can with tears in my eyes.
"Yeah?" He scoffs, the sarcastic smirk on his face makes me want to slap him "I am. At least I can admit to that. You on the other hand."
He whistles and I raise my voice even louder. "You don't deserve my compassion or my kindness. You don't deserve anything because you're a self entitled asshole who thinks he can do whatever the hell he wants and no one will be effected!"
"Then why are you still here?" He shouts. "Why do you try so fucking hard when you know I don't give a fuck?"
"Because I love you, you prick!" I scream, tears falling on to my lips. I let out a sob and viciously wipe at the water droplets on my face until I feel my cheeks are red from it all.
Not a single noise is heard now, besides from the occasional huffing of my sobs. I'm an idiot. Such a freaking idiot it's insane. I don't blame him for thinking I'm crazy or psychotic or any other name in the book. Who the hell loves a man that treats them like shit? Who the hell loves a man after only two months of knowing them?
Me; that's who.
I should've just got out of the car when I had the chance and never looked back. Now I'm stuck with what slipped out of my mouth and knowing him, he'll never let me live it down.
Why are you just sitting there crying? Get out of the fricken car!
I hiccup once before grabbing my bag from the ground and opening the car door. It's hard to believe that Jace hasn't said anything at all even if it were just to make fun of me.
The cold air enters the car when I hear a pained, "Nina."
For the second time tonight, I'm pulled away from the door where it's shut, but this time I lifted right into Jace's lap. I begin to sob all over again, and he grips my hair as we embrace. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't have to. Being in his arms is enough, it provides me the comfort I need as of now. I don't need him to say the three words back, because I never expected them to begin with. Frankly, I probably wouldn't believe him even if he did.
Jace tugs on my hair gently, pulling my face to his where our mouths meet. My own hands grip his hair and I push myself as much against him as I possibly can because even if he doesn't love me, I know this feeling is real. He's the one who deepens the kiss, tongue sliding my lips open before tasting my mouth.
It's him who pulls away, pressing his lips to my tear stand cheeks before moving back just enough to look into my eyes. I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear and shyly peer up at him through my eyelashes.
"You shouldn't be wasting your tears on someone like me," he quietly exclaims, wiping the rest of - said subjects - away.
"Don't say that," I beg, placing a hand over his beating heart and looking down at it. He may never love me, may never even think about it enough for it to happen, but I'll take him as he is. Does that make me stupid? For taking this damaged boy whose done nothing, but hurt me? Possibly, but you miss one-hundred percent of the shots you don't take.
"It's true," he pushes, a hint of sorrow behind his words. "I'll never be who you need me to be. I'll only let you down - just like I've been doing."
I furrow my eyebrows and try not to cry again. "I don't need perfect."
"But you deserve it." There's self loathing in his tone and I hate it. If I wanted someone who was perfect or like me, I wouldn't be trying so hard with Jace.
"So, what does that mean?" I quietly question, my voice nearly a whisper. "You don't want to be with me?"
"I shouldn't," he tells me and my stomach drops, but when he brings his lips closer to mine that falls away. "But I'm a selfish bastard and I don't want anyone else to have you."
I whimper in the smallest form of the action, clutching the fabric of shirt that lies over his heart with one hand.
"You have no reason to give me another chance," he goes on, the purest of sincerity in his words. "But I'm going to ask you anyway and this time I want the real thing."
Not sure if I'm hearing him correctly, my eyes snap up to meet his and sure enough they're raw with emotion.
"The real thing?" I question, biting my lip. Butterflies are fluttering in my stomach and I feel like I could throw up.
"Rainbows and flowers shit," he rolls his eyes and I giggle. "I hope you know where I'm going with this because I really don't want to ask you to be my girlfriend. That would be cheesy."
I shake my head with laughs spurting out of my mouth. He chuckles and squeezes my backside which should ruin the moment, but makes me laugh harder.
"Okay," I agree to his proposition. "Rainbows and flowers shit."
"Jesus," he blows out a breath. "I'm going to need to wash your mouth out with soap."
I snort and press my lips to his. And for the first time in the few weeks we've been spending together, I finally feel complete.
•••
Jace holds a finger to his lips in signal to be quiet as he opens the front door of the Beets household. All of the lights are off expect for the tiny nightlight in the kitchen, but Jace knows where he's going. Hand in hand, he leads me up the steps and to his room, both of us being as quiet as we can.
My boyfriend - god it feels so good to say that - turns on the light when we make it into his temporary bedroom and he locks the door behind him. It's late, nearly two A.M. by now and the effects have yet to be felt. I'm giddy with love and excitement, and I can even sense the change in Jace as well.
If him almost falling over while taking his shoes off is any indication.
I burst out laughing and have to cover my mouth to keep from waking the entire house. He glares at me playfully and turns off the light, only the moon being our source.
"Get undressed," he demands, stripping off his jeans and revealing his boxers.
"Whoa, there, pal," I snort. "At least take me to dinner first."
"Shut up," he tries not to laugh, but I can hear it in his voice. I do as I'm told and he hands me a t-shirt to sleep in for the night. I'm hardly able to get it over my body before his lips are on mine and he's pressed against me.
Our lips are frantic and deprived. As if they haven't felt each other in years when it was only a few minutes ago in the car. I moan in relief and he groans, leading me back on to the bed. I hook my legs around his waist while he uses his hands to hold his body off of me.
With a hot mouth, Jace presses kisses down my jawline to my neck where he spends the most time. My eyes fall shut in bliss and I bite my lip.
"Jace..." I breathe, his mouth intoxicating. It's hard to even form a coherent sentence when he's inflicting such sweet things on me. "I want to do something for you."
He lifts his head and with furrowed eyebrows, questions, "What?"
"Let me do something for you tonight," I say, feeling oddly confident. "Please."
He seems almost hesitant, like last time, but he doesn't reject me.
"And what would you like to do, baby," he smirks slightly, breath fanning against my lips. "Hmm?"
His mouth meets mine in a short, savory kiss. I lick my lips when he pulls away, tasting him.
"Give me some options," I breathe, heart out of control as usual.
"Well," He shifts slightly and I get a good feel of his length. "I'd really love to feel your hands around my cock."
I nearly choke on my spit, but can't deny the heat that shoots straight to the apex of my thighs. Biting my bottom lip, I nod.
"You want to?" He asks, sliding down my body and pressing a kiss to my neck.
"Yes," I gasp. "I want to."
He brings his face above mine once again. "Positive?"
Done with the teasing, I move my hand to cup his member through his boxers and our eyes widen at the same time. For two completely different reasons that is. I can only speak for myself and my shock is due to the size of his member.
Holy snake.
"Fuck," is his gruff response and he furrows his eyebrows.
Immediately I move my hand away as if I've burned him. "I'm sorry, did I hurt you?"
He snorts, but he's not amused. "You just grabbed my cock and you're asking if I'm okay?"
I'm speechless.
"You're so innocent," he grunts and I swallow. "I'm going to ruin you."
I smile slightly.
"Do it again, baby," he instructs and I do, another guttural groan and he drops his head to the crook of my neck. "You have no idea how many nights I've sat awake thinking of your hand around my cock."
I have to switch to open mouth breathing because apparently my nose is not providing enough oxygen for the effects of Jace's dirty talk.
My eyes lower and his hand guides mine up and down his shaft. I can feel his stomach tightening against my own, and the labored breaths of his on my shoulder.
"Holy shit," he curses, groaning. He lifts his head and through hooded eyes, gazes at me. The crease in his forehead deepens which turns me on further.
I boldly slide my hand past the waist band of his boxers and keep my eyes on his as I touch him bare.
Oh my god. I can't believe I'm doing this. Is it normal to be so big?
I do what nature tells me to and begin moving my hand up and down, but he's too large for only one so I have to use both for the activity. Jace looks down at my hand through our bodies and grunts out a curse, our foreheads coming together.
"I'm going to come, babygirl," he warns, raspy and broken. "Fuck, you're good at this."
Pride breaks through his window and hits me straight in the face. I move my hands faster and his groans become louder so I press my lips to his.
"Fucking hell, baby," he encourages. "Just like that."
And with one final warning he's coming. I feel the warm liquid land against my lower stomach, but don't care for a second. Seeing him come is such a different experience that I could never care. I stroke him until he's fulfilled and he breathes out with a large gust of air.
"You're something else," he mutters before pressing his lips to mine. "Your turn."
And he continues to make me feel like a million dollars with his fingers.
____________________
I know I know - I'm fucking amazing!! Just kidding but honestly, I started writing and could not stop so this chapter is extra long :) thank you for all the down and dirty ideas also I really appreciate them and hopefully we'll get there soon!! Ahhhhhhh
What do you think? Are you glad Nina didn't get out of the car? Was Jace out of line? Were you expecting Nina to spill the beans? Are you glad they're OFFICIALLY a couple now?!!
Don't be a silent reader!!
Enjoy. Love you all <3
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