Listening to Frank Ocean and suddenly had the urge to write. So here I am 💁🏾♀️
****
The bright city lights and the busy lively streets reminded me of why I loved London. The dark midnight sky, the tall building silhouettes and street lights gave me nostalgic vibes as I thought back to my younger days. The days were I would dream of growing up so I could explore the city at night. Vivid flashbacks of me sitting in my dad's car as he would speed through the city and I would stare out the window in awe. Dreaming of what I was doing now. And as much as I scream about how much I hate London, and how I cannot wait to go to uni and go abroad, if there is one thing I cannot deny is that London is a beautiful city. A beautiful city filled with hopes and dreams, and nowhere could give me that nostalgic feeling. Why? Simply because London was home.
As I stepped out the cab I smiled. The crisp night air caught me by surprise but for once in a long time, I felt happy and excited. I had hope. Hope that I could actually be happy again.
"Serayah! Let's go. Hopefully the bar isn't too packed!" My new colleague Janet said.
"Hopefully. I need a fucking drink." Reem another colleague said.
How I ended up here was beyond me. But now wasn't the time to overthink. I wanted to live in the moment.
I smiled. "Let's go."
***
*Couple hours before*
I took a deep breath as I walked into the glass building. I straightened my skirt and walked in as if I owned the place. The building had that effect. I don't know if it's just me but certain places in the city just made me feel boujie, as if I owned the place. And my Aunty's law firm had the same effect.
I walked straight to the reception area in awe of the building. It looked like The Ritz. It was stunning. I had never been anywhere this luxurious, especially considering the fact that this was in fact a corporate law firm. Everything looked polished and expensive. Everybody looked polished and expensive. I could even smell the money in the air.
As I approached the reception desk there were two ladies who were the exact opposite of each other. The first lady was an older woman with deep dark skin. She was beautiful. She appeared to be in her 50s and dressed very old fashioned with her shirt buttoned all the way to her neck. Her black and grey tresses was pulled into an extremely tight low bun, held in place with a butterfly clip. She reminded me of my grandmother on my father's side. Strict and unfriendly. In contrast, the other lady was a mixed race girl with free flowing curly hair. She appeared really young in her mannerisms but also because she had a really innocent baby face. Her face was dolled up and she chewed her gum obnoxiously whilst filing her nails in a carefree manner.
They both looked up as I approached them. The young girl smiled. As I was about to open my mouth the older lady put her hand up signalling for me to stop talking.
"Let me guess. Another lost person. Janet sort this out I haven't got time for this." She said before leaving the desk.
"Wow." I said taken aback. Shocked and upset was an accurate description. I gulped. If everyone was like that here I'd take my ass back home because I don't have time for this.
The Janet girl put her nail file down as she turned to me. She also looked shocked by her behaviour. "I am so sorry sweetheart. She is in such a cranky mood this morning. Mrs Jones is usually so friendly. Anyways how can I help you?"
"I'm looking for Mrs Owusu's office. I'm starting an internship with her today and she told me to ask for her at reception when I got here."
She smiled nodding, she quickly typed into the computer, pulling out my details "Okay there is a note on the system regarding something like that. Can I confirm your name?"
I nodded in confirmation "Serayah Carter."
"Yes that's the name on the system. Okay I'm just going to get you a visitors card. Now there are a bunch of details you must fill out on the induction form. And when you come its imperative that you sign your name on the sign in sheet and vice versa when you're leaving. Ok?" She said bending behind the desk to get me the card and a huge document with 'induction' printed in bold on the front.
"Alright."
"Do you know your way there?"
I squinted trying to remember the one time I had to come here to give her some lace that my mum had got her from Nigeria.
"I can't remember, it's been a while since I've been here."
"That's fine hun." She then went behind the desk and pulled out a huge map of the building. And started to circling and highlighting. "Okay so basically you go along this corridor and you should see some gold lifts. Take the lift to floor 10. Walk along this corridor and you should see a giant vending machine so you know you're going the right way. Turn left at the vending machine and walk along towa.." she paused to look at me. "Ahhhh you're confused init. It's such a confusing building. I'd take you myself but Mrs Jones left the desk so I can't."
Just as she said that Mrs Jones started approaching the desk. Janet smiled. "I guess I can take you after all. Once you go you'll get used to the place. It sounds confusing but getting there isn't as confusing if that makes sense. Ignore me I'm waffling." She said giggling.
She stepped out from her desk and I followed as she went on and on about how boring it was working at reception. We walked towards the giant gold elevators in the marble floored foyer. This place really did scream luxury.
She pressed the button and soon an empty lift came. We both stepped in and the doors closed. Janet let out a deep sigh as she pressed the button for the 10th floor.
"Thank God!" She exclaimed "Lord knows I've been trying to leave, but I couldn't find an excuse. I wish Maria was here today, that old goat is so boring."
I chuckled. I was not expecting that. This girl was not serious.
"Wow is it that bad?" She made it sound like she was writing lines all day. She was a receptionist, the first face of the company, meeting many rich clients. Now if she had common sense she would find a sugar daddy. But no. Here she is complaining instead of traveling the world with a rich oil tycoon. But I digress.
She nodded her head frantically "All my friends are in Leicester right now having the time of their lives and here I am, stuck with a woman who only wants to talk about her prescriptions and how today's generation is such a disappointment. Is this life?"
"Peak."
"It actually is. My mum is so extra."
"Oh she got you the job?"
"Yeah by force. I dropped out of uni and she was so disappointed. Immediately she found me this job because she said I'm wasting my life away since I'm not going uni. But the thing is I'm not ready for uni, especially because I know I don't want to go. So she got me a job here as a receptionist as her best friend is the HR manager here
"Foreal? I can't wait to live the life I deserve. I can't wait to be free and live my best life. I love my mum but I need to leave that damn house."
"That was me last year, it was fun at first. Me and my friends were so gassed that we were free. Parties everyday. But then reality sets in and the buzz of freshers is over. Then it's 9am lectures, empty bank accounts and stress. Thinking about it is even making me sick."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yeah. Reality hits you real fast. It can be overwhelming, especially when you don't have a support system. Life comes at you fast. But the worst thing about uni is the loneliness that comes with it. You're alone more than you think. And if you don't know how to enjoy your own company. Boy depression, reckless impulsive actions and toxic coping mechanisms come knocking on your door. And all of a sudden you're deeping that although you came to uni to learn, you've now learned how to sniff coke and roll a blunt." My eyes widened "But you're still a baby. Don't worry though. That's the bad aspects of uni. But uni can be an amazing life experience. But I'm just telling you all the bad stuff so you can be prepared for it because no one told me. And because no one told me I wasn't ready boyyyy, life came at me so fast."
The doors soon opened and we got out of the lift. We then walked along this long corridor and made a turn.
"I'm scared now."
"Don't be. Uni can be really fun or hell on earth. Uni is what you make it."
I shook my head as she walked away. This girl was a funny one. I could tell she would probably be one of the few friends I would make here. Everyone else looked bored af. I looked at the time on my watch 07:55. Five minutes early. The door had 'Dr. Owusu' on a gold platelet. Jheeze thats it aunty, presidential and that, I thought to myself. I knocked on the door cautiously, as you never know what might pop up on the other side. The last time I barged through a door I saw my older brother licking out his girl. Cringe.
"Come in." Mrs Owusu said with a British accent. You wouldn't think that she was that loud African aunty that was always chilling at my house and gossiping with my mum.
I opened the door and walked into her huge office. Her office was peng, it was on the highest floor with giant french windows, giving a breathtaking view of Canary Wharf and the rest of London. It was decorated with her degrees and various pictures of her family.
"Good morning aunty." I greeted. This is one thing I hate about being Nigerian. Everyone was either my aunty or uncle, anything else was disrespectful.
She smiled as I walked in. "Aaaahh Amaka you have grown! Aahh aahh look at you, you look so pretty." She exclaimed pulling me into a tight hug.
"Thank you aunty." I managed to say. I could barely breathe. She eventually let me go and sat by her desk getting down to business.
"Okay baby love." She started. My aunty was one them ones that loved switching accents it would be African, British and when she was really feeling herself her 'Americoco' accent would come out. Right now she was back with her usual British accent.
"What I am going to do is have my intern show you around the place in a sec. I know if I leave you most of these goats will start sending you to get them coffee and other nonsense. But from tomorrow you can just come with me to my meetings and take notes, just so that you get an idea of my world. You're mainly going to be with my intern though seeing as you both are doing the same job." She said smiling.
I smiled in relief. This is why I loved my aunty, I know if it was another aunty they would have me running their errands like a mug.
"Alright."
"Any questions?"
I shook my head.
"Alright I'm just going to call him." She picked up her phone and called her intern.
A couple moments later her intern came through the door. Lord. Why is that I am never prepared? I'm just never ready. Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing could prepare me for the sexiness that walked through that door. The most sexiest mixed race guy walked through that door clad in a grey Armani tailored suit, that clung to his muscles. He had a really peng face, the most immaculate shape up. And he had a beard, a beard, my weakness.
"Hi hun." She said smiling at him.
"Serayah this is my intern Kadeem and Kadeem this is my beautiful god daughter who is doing her work experience here."
He looked at me and licked his lips. And that's when my ovaries burst. I just wanted to melt, he was just too fine. And those lips, they looked like they were created for - Damn Serayah snap out of it! I said to myself as my mind began to wonder about all the things he could do with his lips.
"Hi." his deep voice uttered. He had that voice that was perfect for late night phone calls. He smiled at me exposing his perfect teeth and his dimples. And that's exactly when I turned into a puddle.
You know them times when a guy is just too sexy that you just forget yourself? That's exactly what happened. I melted that day in the third office of the 22nd floor of the T.I.G law firm building, right there in front of my aunty.
Finally collecting myself together I managed a smile and a shy wave. Lord. I was a damn mess.
"Kadeem can I have a minute with Serayah please." My aunty said with her African accent coming out.
"Sure." He replied giving me and my aunty privacy. That's when I knew I was in for it.
As soon as the door slammed she turned to me. "Amaka! Amaka! Amaka! Hmmm how many times have I called your name?" She called with her strong Ghanaian accent.
I hate when aunties do that. Why must I count how many times you called my name? What is the purpose? In fact, what is your own?
I internally rolled my eyes knowing one higgy hagga speech was going to come out of her mouth.
"Three times aunty." I sighed
"Eh heh! You think I didn't see you eh? Listen and listen to me well! If I catch you doing adult things with that boy eh? Hmmm not only will your mother know, Pastor Andrew will know so behave yourself! And remember God is watching you." She said in a fresh accent. "You ger wharrt I am saying?"
The struggle not to role my eyes was real. "Of course aunty."
"Das what I like to here." She replied spinning on her chair. "Kadeem come in!"
And that's when he came in and changed the game.
***
The following week I decided to go out for some fresh air. After that day at the law firm I hadn't stepped out of my house. The reality of being single hit me, and although the relationship wasn't healthy, I missed it. After all we had been together since year 10, it was only natural that I would miss him. So that Monday I decided to visit my best friend.
My phone had been on airplane mode so I hadn't spoke to anyone in a while. From what I knew of no one apart from Tremaine knew of the break up. But with the way my college was set up the word would still get out.
After a long walk down her road, I finally got to her door. I pressed the doorbell. Although I hadn't called her prior to this visit I knew she was in. This girl barely left her house, she only left for food and man. The door swung open and as expected she was home.
"Fammm is it a ghost?! Am I seeing a ghost?" Amelle said dramatically.
"Ami allow me man. I'm going through something." I replied as she opened the door wider for me to walk in.
"Mmmhm." She said as she closed the door.
I took a seat on the plush bean bag in her room as she went to get snacks. She eventually came back with a tub of Ben & Jerries cookie dough ice cream and some strawberries.
"So what's up?"
"Me and Jerome broke up."
"I figured. He was saying he was single on Snapchat. I'm proud you finally realised he's a dickhead. "
I rolled my eyes at his dickhead behaviour. "Amelle I walked in on this fool about to fuck the same crocodile bitch from last year. I don't know how to feel about it."
Immediately Amelle shot up. "The fuck? He cheated on you again?! Naaahh don't have it!!! Who's the bitch?!" She questioned looking vex.
I sighed thinking about the dusty bitch he picked. In all honesty, I was slightly offended. Like damn if you're going to cheat at least cheat with a pretty bitch. "Fucking Tameeka!!! TA-MEE-KA!! That dusty looking crocodile bitch!!!" I said laughing sadistically. Thinking about it was making me vex all over again.
"That same bitch!!! Naaahh come we fuck her up. She's so fucking salty."
So here's the story about Tameeka. Back in high school she was apart of our squad. No shade but she was that ugly friend everyone has. Anyways we were hella close and done everything together when Amelle pointed out to me she was being weird. It started with random compliments and at the time it wasn't a problem, I mean friends are supposed to uplift each other, right? But these compliments turned into her slowly copying the way I style my hair and then into dressing exactly like me and speaking like me.
I started to distance myself from her because bmt I didn't want to end up on a missing poster. Tameeka was obsessed with me, it got to the point that she would be stalking me when I would cancel plans with her. Eventually we stopped being friends (she was creeping the fuck out of me) and in year 10 I started going out with Jerome. After that she moved away and I didn't hear about her until we started college. That's when she started pursuing Jerome and befriending all my new friends almost as if she wanted my life. But tbh the reason why me and Amelle haven't patterned her is because she knows where we live. I beg. I don't want to my house burnt down.
"Amelle I don't even want to talk about it."
"Fuck it! Imma get us drinks!" She announced going back downstairs.
Eventually she came back and we drank like there was no tomorrow. Fuck it! It was time to feel wavey.
*****
So what do we think of Kadeem? He's too peng man.