*Bella*
8:19 AM
I opened my eyes, squeezing them shut again once the sunlight entered them and stretched a little.
How in the world could it be morning already after a night like that?
After my stretch, Justin's arms tightened around me, and I looked up from where I laid on his chest, seeing him still asleep beside me.
I placed a chaste kiss on his chest, slowly slipping out from his grasp and got dressed in one of his shirts - again.
Today I wanted to make him breakfast - especially since we didn't have school, and he did all of that for me yesterday.
I started a pot of coffee, walking over to the glass doors and looked outside.
I saw the ocean, the sun lowly risen...it was beautiful.
But as beautiful as it was, it wasn't the view out my window in the morning of New York City, or my view back home outside my room through the doors that led to my back balcony.
The doors that Justin had walked through so many time to spend the night with me- and when he came to get me so we could run away together.
Things were different now.
I hadn't talked to my family in a month.
God I missed them.
I turned around, sneaking back into our room to grab my phone and dialed Benny's number.
Him and Justin's were basically the only one I was allowed to dial.
Crap, it's early. I shouldn't be calling this early.
"Isabelle? Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, it is. I'm sorry for calling this early. I wasn't thinking, I-"
"No, it's ok. Really. What's up?"
"I was um- I was just wondering if it was possible to talk to my dad? Anybody back home?"
"Have you been keeping your eye on this case?"
"Well, kind of...it's hard to watch."
"It's national news Isabelle. I know how badly you want to talk to them, I do. I have some letters to drop off for you from them - but calling could end badly. They keep finding bigger and bigger pieces behind Manny. He's going to have a whole other trial after this one. There bringing in witnesses that have been behind and-"
"Wait, witnesses? Against Manny?"
"Yes, that's all I can really say, but he had so many other people around him that are looking for you two. They know what happened. I don't know what Justin's told you, but they can listen in on phone calls- even if we change their numbers. It's all really complicated right now, and I'm sorry it's taking this long, but we're doing everything we can to protect your family and you. I'm sorry again."
"So I can write my family? That's allowed?" I sat down at the table, resting my palm on my forehead.
"Yeah, it was their idea honestly. I'm pretty sure Pattie wrote one from their family, and I have one from your brother, and someone named Hunter Miller."
"You have one from Hunter?" I smiled a little, looking back out at the waves.
"Yeah, who is he? You guys never mentioned him."
"He's Justin's best friend, he used to work for Manny but he got out with Justin. Now he's serving in the army. I know he loves it."
"Shit."
"What? What's wrong?" I waited, feeling my heart rate accelerate. "Benny."
"I'm pretty sure that's one of the witnesses on the list. He's testifying."
"Why is that bad? He'll be ok, he'll go and testify, then head back to wherever he is, right?"
"Yeah, of course. That's what'll happen, but this bastard has done a lot of damage. Have you found anywhere for therapy yet?"
"Yeah I did," I nodded, looking down at my hands. "There's a place outside LA, but it's expensive and-"
"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of all that and such. How are you and Justin doing on money?"
"Fine right now, we still have a little bit left of what you gave us. Justin just got a job, but it won't be enough obviously. I applied for a few record companies."
"You know we'll help, especially when you two are both going through school."
"Thank you, Benny."
"You're welcome. I'll text you later when I can come by to drop these off. Have a nice day Isabelle."
"You too Benny."
I hung up, staring ahead afterwards and rested my forehead in my hands.
Still no phone calls.
I wanted a clock that let me go back, that let me relive all of the best memories.
I had hope then. A lot more than I do now.
I didn't realize I was crying until then, and I reached up, quickly wiping away the tears and got up out of my seat.
You can't cry. You made the choice. You know it would be hard. It's time to stop being a little girl and grow up.
I opened up the fridge, pulling out some eggs and sat them down on the counter while I got my pan.
This is your life now. Justin is your family. That's it.
I scrambled the eggs ins bowl before putting them in the pan while the oven was on and went in the fridge for some bacon.
I could make breakfast. I can do that.
I was a few minutes into everything when I heard Justin's footsteps in the hall, and I quickly wiped my face, trying to hide it all again.
He has his own problems. I need to be there for him. It has to be the other way around for once.
"Good morning," He wrapped his arms around my waist, pecking my cheek down to my neck. "Look at you making breakfast. Can I help?"
"I wanted to make you breakfast for once." I whined a little, hearing him laugh in my ear while his hands slid further around my waist to my hips.
"Alright, alright. How'd you sleep?"
"Good. Like a baby, you?"
"Pretty good." There went his hands again, and I leaned back, slowly letting out a breath so it didn't stagger. "I um, I called Benny. He has some things for us."
"When did you talk to him?"
"This morning. Why? Is everything ok?"
"Yeah, everything's fine. I was just curious."
"Alright." I nodded a little, flipping the eggs and glanced over at the bacon.
If I was at home, well in New York, I'd be in school. In my new dance class there probably.
Then I'd have work...and I'd call just later that night, maybe I'd even go to visit him for the weekend...
"Hello? Bella?"
"Huh?"
"You alright?"
"What? Yeah, I'm fine." I nodded my head, tucking my hair behind my ear before turning over the bacon.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm sure."
No. No I'm not.
I miss home.
"Can I have my good morning kiss?"
I turned my head, pecking his lips for a moment and then turned back.
"I made coffee if you want some."
"Bella, what's wrong?"
"Nothin-"
"Don't. I can tell something is bothering you. What is it? Was it last night? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry if I-"
"No," I shook my head, stepping out of his grasp and got us down plates. "It wasn't last night at all Justin."
"What did Benny say to you? Then look at me."
I sighed, turning around to face him. "It's not Benny either. Honestly don't sorry about it, I'll be ok."
"Bella, stop. You've been crying," He took the plates from me and sat them down, distributing the eggs out onto them, then sat the spatula and pan to turn back to me. "We only have each other right now. What's going on? You can talk to me. You're upset."
"I miss home," I whispered, looking down at my hands. "I don't know, it's just really hitting me hard all of the sudden. I woke up this morning and looked outside and there was no city, there wasn't a wooded area with a playground and it's just...I don't know-"
"Lonely?"
"A little." I slowly nodded, letting him pull me into a hug. "I know I made a choice and at first it was easy, but right now I'd do anything just to talk to them and I can't. I can barely even talk in class to make friends here and I just - I'm home sick. You're the only part of home I have here."
"I'm sorry sweetheart. I know it's been hard, but you can always talk to me. It's going to be ok."
"I'm sorry," I whispered, nuzzling my face into his chest. "I know you have your own problems and I feel like I complain all the-"
"Stop," He pulled me back to look at me, running his hands along my back. "You're my number one priority, ok? All the time, I don't want you to be upset."
"I know you don't, and I don't want you to be either."
"I promise you we'll be on the first plane out of here when they let us go visit our family. I miss everyone too, I really do. I'm sorry your homesick...I wish I knew how to fix it."
"Just talking to you helps."
"Good." He smiled softly, placing a kiss to my forehead. "You feeling a beach day?"
"Yeah," I nodded eagerly, turning to get the bacon on our plates. "I'd really like that."
"I love you. Talk to me when your upset. I can talk to Benny again."
"No, it won't be any use. They've dug deeper into Manny...there's probably something you should know with that."
"What?" He raised an eyebrow, already searching my eyes for an answer.
"There's going to be a separate case against him with all the drugs and such, the killings...Hunter is testifying."
"Did Benny tell you that?"
"Yeah," I nodded, looking down at his chest and traced patterns lightly along his skin. "He has a letter for you from Hunter."
"When is the trial?"
"I don't know," I shook my head, looking back up at him. "Why?"
"I want to see him. He's probably scheduled to come home soon."
"Benny told me he'd let us know when he could come and drop everything off. I'm sure it'll be soon."
"Do you think Hunter could come here? Would you mind? If he was allowed to come here for a couple of days?"
"Would I mind?" I cupped his face, standing up on my tiptoes. "Baby, you know I love Hunter, he's always welcome here. I'm sure Benny could work something out."
"Thank you."
"Of course."
"After we eat I have something to show you." He smiled, kissing the tip of my nose.
"What?"
"I'm not telling."
"But- But I thought yesterday-"
"Yesterday we were a little busy, don't you think?"
"Shut up." I blushed, ducking my face into his chest.
His warm, toned chest.
And that's where my hands were.
"Well I know I really enjoyed myself, and we both know you did too."
"Yeah," I shrugged, laughing into his chest. "I really did."
"Me too...Now I think we should eat this wonderful breakfast you made. Do you want coffee?"
"Yes please." I nodded, pulling away from him and got silverware.
I looked outside again, smiling at the waves.
This was my home now.
After we ate, Justin led me back upstairs to the guest room- the room that kept all of our unpacked boxes in.
"Justin, what in the world are we doing here?"
"You'll see. Close your eyes."
"Ok." I closed my eyes, shifting as I heard the door creak open.
God, I hope he's not already painting a nursery - probably not - actually no, it'd be cute...but we're not engaged - I'm still 18 for crying out loud...but I'll be 19...he'll be 21.
What in the world am I thinking?
"Ok, open."
I opened my eyes, sucking in my breath as I looked around the room.
"You didn't."
"I did."
I stepped forward, looking at my keyboard in the corner, then a mic beside it, and a sound board...
"Where did all this come from?"
"Well, I wanted to set it up, and I was talking to your dad about it. I got the mic, he got the sound board. We wanted to at least help you start off your home studio...you haven't really played since we got here."
"I know, we've just been busy, and you never really play either."
"It's not really my thing."
I turned around, crossing my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow.
"Not really your thing? You used to be all about the music in school - and I had to beg you just to play for me. When is the last time you even played your guitar?"
"I don't know." He shrugged, slipping his hands in the pockets of his shorts with his thumbs sticking out. "I play piano too. Do you remember that? When we sang at your piano?"
"I do." I smiled, walking over to the sound board and started playing with it. "You know how to work this stuff right?"
"I mean, it's been a few years, but I'm sure I could pick it up again. The board is really similar...it's just more top of the line than what we had at school."
"So you could help me?"
"Yeah, of course I can."
"Will you play for me?" I asked, walking over to him and stood on my tiptoes. "Please?"
"You're giving me that look."
"What look?"
"Alright, alright...I'm so rusty. It's going to sound awful."
"Oh hush, no it won't." I followed after him, scooting next to him on the bench. "Just play for me - and thank you."
"You're welcome."
______________________
*Justin*
10:12 AM
"No! You are not laying out, you are coming in the ocean with me." I scooped Bella up, carrying her with me towards the ocean.
"No! It's probably cold!" She held onto me tighter, pulling herself up by my neck as I got closer to the water.
"Easy there, buttercup."
"If it's cold I'm running."
"You'd rather sweat laying on a towel?"
"No." She mumbled, kissing my cheek.
"Your hair has gotten lighter."
"Has it really?" She asked, picking up a strand of her waves.
"Yeah, I guess from the sun."
"What if I went blonde?"
"No." I shook my head, gently setting her down. "I like your hair now."
"It's getting really long."
"I like it. It's like Rapunzel, and it always smells good."
"Like Coconuts." She giggled, turning around and felt for my hands.
"And fruit."
"You're a dork - Wait! It's cold!"
"No it's not." I grabbed her waist, pulling her back into me before she could run away. "You're staying right here - especially when you're in this little purple bathing suit."
"But Justin-"
"You'll get used to it. Please? Please, please, please?"
"Ok." She sighed, leaning back into me again.
"I think later, we should go into town and walk around a bit. Get out of the house."
"Sounds good. When are you supposed to find out about your job?"
"Hopefully today. I have my phone on full volume."
"Well you said the interview went really well...When would you work anyway? I don't think I ever asked you that."
"I'm not really sure, they know I have school, so probably after a few times a week, and I think on Friday's when we don't have school."
"Oh ok." I saw her bit the inside of her cheek, taking a step further into the water.
"Which means that we'll have to make time for each other,"
"Of course. Especially if I have my job."
"You'll still study with me right?" I kissed her shoulder, wrapping my arms around her waist. "Maybe we should do Friday nights."
"You know I will, especially since I already know I need help with chemistry."
"I started it already."
"I tried to."
"I'll help you." I told her, moving my hands along her hips.
"I'd love to even have a B in chemistry."
"You will. I promise I'll help."
"And I mean actual help, not doing the work for me and helping me get the credit in-"
"Bella, I'm going to help you and actually explain it, ok?"
"I feel stupid."
"You're not stupid." I shook my head, kissing her temple. "It's just one of those things that doesn't come to you as quickly, like me with English. I'm not looking forward to writing that paper."
"Well how about I help you in English and you help me in Chemistry."
"Hmm, and what do you charge my dear?"
"Stop." She laughed, shaking her head and tried to wriggle away from me. "The same as usual."
"I thought so...damn, you are really tan. I mean I noticed that the other day but-"
"Yeah well your butt is pretty white too."
"That is true." I laughed, squeezing her hips. "I could just tan naked and it wouldn't be white anymore."
"Oh my gosh, why are we talking about this?"
"Because you look good." I whispered, biting down on her ear. "My little beach girl."
"I'm not little!"
"Yes sweetheart, you are little. But a good little. Perfect little Bella."
"I am not perfect."
"Yes you are. In every single way."
"If you think so."
"Stop." I frowned, turning her around so she faced me.
"I'm sorry."
"It's ok." I sighed, kissing her forehead. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"You know what I think we should do this summer?"
"What?" Bella asked, resting her hands on my arms.
"We should go to Disney. Just for a day or two?"
"Really?" Her smile widened, and she grew an inch from stepping up on her tiptoes.
"Yeah," I nodded, sliding my hands farther around her back. "Maybe we could do it with the whole family...if they wanted to come up."
"That would be a lot of fun. I'm sure they'd want to come up."
"Or you and I could just go, if that's what you wanted to do."
"We can do whatever you want."
"I had a feeling you would say that." A chuckle escaped my lips, and I stepped forward, pulling her farther with me into the ocean.
"Justin, it's cold!"
"No it's not, oh my goodness." I playfully rolled my eyes, taking another step. "You just have to get used to it."
"Which would be never."
"Don't be a party pooper." I pouted my lips out, kissing her cheek until she started laughing.
"Wait, Justin! Your phone is ringing."
"Are you just saying that just so you can get out?"
"No, I'm being serious! It could be your job!"
"Right." I let go of her, getting out of the water and went over to my phone. "Hello?"
"Hi, Justin, right?"
"Yeah, this is him." I nodded, feeling Bella rest her head on my back.
"This is were calling about the job offer down in Burbank. You got the job, are you able to come down and start training next week?"
"Yeah," I nodded again, a smile curling along my lips. "When? Because of school and everything."
"Well, with the schedule you gave us we can do from 2-7 through out the week. Except for Tuesday's and such, and eventually in the summer we'll switch you to mornings."
"Ok, awesome." Bella's lips pressed into my back, a smile curling along my lips. "Then I'll see you on Monday."
"Ok Justin, I'll see you Monday."
"Thanks again." I hung up after that, turning around to look at Bella. "I got the job."
"I'm so proud of you." She smiled, standing up on her tiptoes and pecked my lips. "Now if I would just hear from a record company..."
"You will." I kissed her again, snaking my arms back around her waist. "So most days I'll be working from 2-7 because of school."
"Oh, ok..I mean, it's a job, so of course."
"But we'll have lunch together everyday." I leaned in, nuzzling my nose against hers. "I can prep dinners before hand so you have something to eat."
"I can make dinners. I've had cooking lessons, remember?"
"Well then I'll do them some nights...I'm worried about missing my meetings honestly. It sounds like I'm working everyday."
"Maybe you can find a place that's on Saturdays."
"Maybe...I just like where I am. I don't want to slip again."
"I know you don't." She reached up, combing her fingers through my hair. "But at least you'll be distracted with work."
"And missing you."
"Hopefully I'll be working too."
"I hate that you'll be home alone."
"I'm a big girl. I'll be ok."
"I know I just- after this morning."
"I know." She nodded, standing back up on her tiptoes for a kiss, which I gave to her. "But it's going to help you in the future, it's going to help us now. I think we need it."
"We do...are you going to come back with me?"
"Yeah, I am - believe it or not."
"Good. Should I carry you again?"
"No," She shook her head, running away from me back into the water.
"Hey! Wait!" I ran after her, the momentum when I caught her throwing us both all the way into the water, earning a yelp out of her.
"Justin!"
"There. Now you won't be cold anymore."
"No I'll just be colder!"
"Oh hush," I caught her by her hips, spinning her around and held her against me.
"No, no I'm mad at you."
"Come on, I didn't mean to. You left without me. It just happened to work both ways."
"Exactly."
"It's a beach Bella! Please, please, please."
"I know you're giving me the look."
"What look?"
"The look I gave you earlier!"
"I love you." I cooed, pressing my lips to her shoulder and tickled her sides.
"Justin!"
"Tell me you love me too."
"I love you too."
"Eventually we can have some friends over. Wouldn't that be nice? I could grill, we could spend the whole night outside."
"Like camping?"
"Well I was just talking about night swimming, but you and I can certainly spend the night on the beach one night."
"Is that even legal?"
"I don't see why not."
"I wonder how far away that pier is from here..."
"Do you want to take a walk?"
"Yeah." She nodded, biting down on her lip.
We ended up walking all the way there, and there was even stuff up on the pier.
"What is it?" She asked, holding onto my arm with her free hand.
"I think it's a little gift shop."
"That's so cute."
"If we were dressed I'd suggest we could go check it out, but I'm pretty sure we can't because we're in bathing suits."
"We can go tomorrow? There's a ilttle restaurant too."
"Sounds like a date to me." I smiled at her, kissing the tip of her nose.
________________________
*Bella*
6:19 PM
"Benny," I smiled, stepping aside and let him in the house. "How are you?"
"I'm good. I see you've been enjoying the sun."
"Yeah, I have been."
"How is everything else?"
"Ok." I shrugged, reaching out to help him with the packages he held. "Justin was in the shower. He should be down in a minute."
"Oh, I don't want to hold you guys up or anything. This is clothes from your dad." Benny patted the box he sat on the table, then the letters on top. "And it's pretty obvious what those are."
"Thank you." I reached down for them, holding them to my chest. "It really means a lot Benny."
"No problem."
"I thought I heard you." Justin came down stairs, wearing a fitted white tank top with his basketball shorts. "Thanks for dropping this stuff off."
"You're welcome. You guys can bring back anything you need to and I'll make sure it gets to them. Like I told Bella this morning, still no phone calls. Eventually. We're really trying...this case is just exploding...they've tapped some phone to some of Manny's guys. They're looking for you. Our guys have already put them in a different direction, and once we have enough evidence, they'll be locked up too. Just be careful with the phones and who you open the door for."
"Ok." Justin nodded, while I stood there, stiff in place before I forced myself to move and sat the letters down, going over to a drawer and pulled out a knife to open the box with.
"Well I'll let you guys get back to what you were doing. Call if you need anything, ok?"
"We will." Justin said,glancing at me when I sat the knife down.
I wanted to open it...I just..didn't really know what to expect. Knowing my father it wasn't just clothes.
"You ok?" Justin asked, causing me to look up.
"Yeah, I'm ok." I nodded, letting my eyes flicker between the both of them before I looked back down.
"Ok, I'm going to walk Benny out."
"Ok, bye Benny." I weakly smiled at him, tucking my hair behind my ear before I looked away again.
"Bye Isabelle."
When they were walking through the hallway I opened the box, and my clothes were in it, but there was a little stuffed rabbit in there from when I was little, and a picture of my brother, my dad, me, and my mom before the split happened.
I picked up the rabbit, sitting down at the table and hugged it to my chest with one hand while picking up the letter from my dad.
I was able to open it and start reading before Justin came back.
Bell,
We really miss you here. Unfortunately, we still are unable to call. I've been keeping in touch with your mother...she calls everyday to see if we have any updates. I hate telling her the same thing, but it is what it is. I know it should be similar to how it was when you were in New York, but it's not. I could call you then, we could visit each other whenever. I regret getting between you and the things you wanted in life. I know that's why we aren't as close, why you resented me so much growing up, and I wish I would have been home now. I wish I got to show you while you were still here how much I loved you.
I stopped reading then, feeling that familiar burn in the back of my throat and hugged my rabbit to my chest.
I couldn't help but cry. I missed my family so much. It was scary being here and feeling like you were all alone - that people were looking for me. They wanted to kill me.
I could have made more of an effort to spend time with my dad, I could have been nicer...Just from reading I knew he felt like it was his fault.
"Bella - hey, baby," I felt his hand on my leg, the back of his hand running on my visible cheek. "I'm sorry."
"No, no. I'm fine."
"No you're not, look at me." He cupped my face, pulling me out from where my face was snuggled into my rabbit and made me look at him. "It's me. You don't have to hide how you feel with me. I know you're sad."
"But it's not just me. I feel so selfish."
"Sweetheart, you're the last person on earth that would be selfish. I know it hurts, and I promise we'll be on the first plane home when we can leave, ok?"
"I know, I know. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry." He shook his head, kissing my forehead. "Everything'll be alright."
"What if it's not?"
"You can't think like that."
"I feel like it's habit now."
"I know how hard it is because I know how you feel...but don't be afraid to talk to me. Don't hold it in. It makes it worse, trust me."
"I just wish we had a date. A date where we knew we could call and I could look forward to it instead of playing a waiting game."
"I know buttercup," He moved his thumb along my cheek, my reaction to lean into it. "And it sucks, but it's going to be worth it."
"I know." I sniffed, reaching up and wiped my eyes with the back of my hands. "Thank you."
"Anytime."
I leaned down, pressing my lips hard on his and wrapped my arms around his neck with the rabbit still in my hands.
It's going to get easier. It's only temporary. I made the choice. I have to help him too, its not about me and that's all I feel like I'm showing. I don't want him to think that. I feel like I'm so high maintenance. I have to be there for him too and just suck it up.
It'll get easier, and everything will be ok...just like he said.
________________________
KJKJKRJKATJKRI my babies.
I don't know when this book will end, but as I've told a couple of other people, everyone is going to hate me when it does.
There are two new twitter accouts. Go follow @Julie_Tempted and @IsabelleKnowle.
What do you guys think? How do you think they'll handle it. Do you like Julie? Any ideas for Jella?
I hope all ends well...
I won't be updating until I leave for my vacation, which is across the globe, so I won't be able to write much. I promise I'll leave you with something before I go :)
TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THINK BELOW. AND VOTE VOTE VOTE :)