The next day John listened with a dropped jaw as I described my weekend. "I saw Starry at the rink yesterday when I was rehabbing the ankle, and all he said was that your parents were being jerks." He shook his head. "I don't even know where to go with that."
"That's ok, I don't either," I said as I picked at my lunch. It was a 'pizza' day and it didn't look especially tasty. I ate some vegetables instead, propping my head on my hand. I don't know why, but I always feel tired after family drama.
"I wouldn't have known anything was wrong," he said. "You seemed happy this morning in class."
"I compartmentalize my life, according to the guidance counselor," I said. "I like to think of it as quarantining the bad things so that they don't contaminate the good things." I stole a fry off his tray and smiled. "Plus, Grandpa said I can move in with him if it gets rough. I like the idea of having an escape route, but hopefully I don't have to use it."
"Why's that, General?" Paul asked, popping up and stealing a couple french fries from his brother, who scowled at him and swatted.
"Because while my grandpa is amazing, the trade off is that I'd have to check in and out more often," I said, crunching on a carrot. "One of the perks of my parents' apathy is that I pretty much come and go as I please."
Paul considered this a moment. "That kind of freedom must be nice, but I'd rather feel like someone cared." And with that pronouncement, he shot off to his friends.
John watched me, his dark brown eyes sober. "If you want help moving at any point, let me know." I smiled at him.
"It's so stupid, it all blew up because I bought some sheets and towels for college and Grandpa bought me a comforter in China." I shook my head. And step by step, he drew out what had happened, gently. Once again his mouth was hanging open. He had nice teeth.
"Geeze, Leia, I don't know what to say." And he did look a little lost.
"You don't have to say anything. I know my family is... unconventional."
"My mom would kill for a daughter like you," he muttered. "I can't believe they haven't said anything about college to you. It's college!" He was getting worked up. "It's huge!"
I pushed my tray away, suddenly uninterested. "The acceptances from the UC system come out in just over three weeks. USC seven days later. Stanford, Pomona, and Santa Clara on April first."
John frowned. "I know. It's too soon and not soon enough. Ugh. I can't think about it, it makes me crazy." I smiled.
"Yeah. Now I can't help thinking that I was too ambitious. But Santa Clara should take me, at least. I talked to Mr Tiller about programs and how to make the most of them."
"Leia, I'm only going to say this once. You're going to be accepted by a lot of places, and no matter where you go, you are going to succeed. Cream always rises to the top, and you are definitely the cream of the crop." My eyes wanted to water.
"So the most amazing thing of the weekend seems to be that my brother seems to have decided to be a human rather than a big-headed helium balloon," I said, changing the subject. John grinned and pushed his fries closer to me.
"Really? How'd that happen?"
I looked around suspiciously and leaned toward him. He leaned in. "I think the government is experimenting with pod people and that Stan's their first major success." John burst out laughing. "I've decided to keep him, though. You laugh now, my friend, but it's crazy how nice he's being. And it actually seems sincere."
'I'm glad to hear it. My brother can be a pain in the ass, but I can't imagine not being close. Our parents are always telling us when we fight that someday we'll be depending on each other because they'll be gone." He scowled. "Emotional blackmail, and I don't like to think of that day. And hopefully we'll both have families of our own, but I get the point. There's nothing like a sibling." I nod. I'd idolized my big brother when I was little.
I kept waiting for repercussions at home that week, but there was nothing. Nada. It was as if Saturday had never happened. This was some big-league repression, even for my parents. And to be honest, there should have been some punishment from my dad for the profanity I'd used. But nothing. And I felt something kind of die inside. I wondered if I'd thought that provoking them would show if they cared.
I was still mulling this over on Wednesday at lunch when John asked what I was doing over the weekend. "I don't have any plans yet," I said absently. "You?"
"Just the usual, skating and homework, probably. Worlds are coming up in a few weeks, and I'm kind of dreading the end of skating at the same time I'm anxious to be done." He smiled at me. "And yeah, I've looked at some of those resources you mentioned for transitioning to a normal life after elite sport. I'm glad I did, there's a lot more than I'd thought about to consider."
"Would you like to do something Friday night?" I asked, and as his eyes crinkled, I clarified. "As a date. Not just friends." And I listened to myself in kind of horror. Part of me was shaking the pompoms over asking him out, but most of me was cowering in a corner, expecting our friendship to wilt once he declined. My hands started to sweat.
But he beamed instead.
"Yeah, definitely. Anything." And I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. He took my hand, which was gripping my fork like I needed it to fend off a serial killer, gently prying the utensil out of my grip. Laced our fingers together. "I've been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out, but I didn't want to presume..."
I squeezed with my fingers. "I wasn't planning on doing that, it just kind of slipped out," I admitted. He grinned, his eyes soft. "So I don't have any plans for an activity, yet, but I'll think of something."
"I'm a little worried," he said, joking. "With your skills, anything is possible. It doesn't have to be a big thing. I just want to spend time with you." I smiled for the first time since I'd asked him out. He smiled back, and for a moment, my world was just the two of us. But then the warning bell rang, the one that was serious about us all getting back to class, and it really spoiled the moment. He walked me to my locker, then strode off, grinning. I quickly sent out a group text: Need date ideas for this weekend. And by the time classes were over and I could check my phone again (students at Metro could keep their phones with them in class, unlike us) I had several texts that were curious about my date and had several fun options. Zayna, knowing that I usually had dinner somewhere before going to the library, immediately called for a summit at Panera on Thursday evening, where I was expected to give out more details.
I got to Panera early and had just sat down with my salad when Cass showed up, ordered, and beelined over to me, dropping her jacket and purse on the back of her chair. Zayna, Carol, and Keshondra were right behind; Maya couldn't make it, and she demanded a recap afterward.
"So who's the lucky guy?" Carol demanded to know. "You've never asked for date ideas before."
"It's John,' I said, the corners of my mouth curving upward as I took a bite of salad.
"Oh, well. Finally," Zayna said. I arched my eyebrows at her as I chewed.
"He's been gone on you for months now," Cass said as she took a bite of her panini.
"I wondered if you were ever going to try being more than good friends," Keshondra said before getting up to refill her beverage.
"It's exciting," Cass said. "Finally!"
"What made you get off dead center?" Zayna asked.
"I've been having kind of a shitty week, pardon the language," I said, and Zayna rolled her eyes. "I wasn't really planning on it, but It popped out, and I kind of thought that either almost everything goes up in smoke this week, so I can rise Phoenix-iike from the ashes, or I have something good," I joked kind of flippantly. And that necessitated an explanation of Saturday night.
"There's so much going on there that is fucked up," Cass said matter-of-factly. "And I'm not apologizing for the vocabulary words. It's like you visited an alternate universe where you have a caring brother. Maybe not, your parents are still hopeless. But at least you have an option with your grandpa." The other girls nodded, and we talked about that first. I felt better inside. They too were on my side and I felt better knowing that it wasn't just me that found the whole sweeping the argument under the rug was weird. It wasn't til after that that we moved on to John. They had several ideas for our date (hopefully the first of many) and they assured me that they thought we were cute together and that it was past time one of us got up our courage.
The next day John turned around in English and asked, with a bright smile, what we were going to be doing that evening.
"Well, I thought it would be fun to go into San Francisco," I said. "I've spent very little time there and I'd like to explore part of it with you." I gave him some options. To my relief, he was enthusiastic, and we chose a walk in the Golden Gate Park's Japanese tea garden followed by dinner. He flushed a little, red washing across his cheeks.
"It's romantic," he said. "The cherry blossoms are in bloom. I'd love to be there with you."
I smiled at him. "Cherry trees, then dinner. I can't wait."
Friday seemed to take FOREVER to be over. But at length, the last bell rang and I raced home to shower and groom. It was chilly outside, and overcast, so I wore my best-fitting jeans and a pretty black sweater with my amethyst earrings. I curled my hair some, but not tons because all the moisture in the air would make it go flat, and I took care with my makeup, keeping it simple for the same reason. I didn't want to blink and have mascara under my eyes so I used the waterproof stuff, which I didn't really like much but used for drill performances. Although John had seen me miserable and messy before, I wanted tonight to be better.
I drove over to John's, feeling a little trepidation for this first date, and rang the doorbell. Paul answered the door and grinned at me. "John! Some babe's at the door. Must have the wrong address," he shouted.
"That's no way to treat your brother's date," Mrs Tang chided, coming to the door. "Delia, how lovely you look. Come in, John's almost ready." And before I could get farther than the foyer, he swung down the stairs, grinning. His black hair was still a little damp from the shower. He grabbed his black leather jacket and kissed his mom's cheek. "John's curfew is at midnight, dear," Mrs Tang continued. "Have fun, but don't be late."
"Yes ma'am," I said respectfully, and John quickly held the door for me.
"You look particularly beautiful tonight," he said, holding the door for me as I tucked myself behind the wheel. He got in, and as soon as he clicked his seatbelt, we started off. I'd been worried that it would be weird, but it was the same as ever. I was a little distracted, though, he was wearing aftershave, subtle but sexy. It was really nice. Traffic was good, most of the cars were headed out of the city as people left work, so we got to the park pretty quickly and parked. John took my hand as we ambled down the path into the tea garden.